Comments

Happy birthday, Shepard!

^

Lol.
So, this would be the "Gaben's own nightmare" difficulty someone once mentioned me.

Hmm, right: texture lights. My bad. xd

Texlights:

Textures which emit lights. Lol.
Also, yeah, please, use func_detail for detailed brushes which interrupt VIS.

I have an idea where players go from house to house, breaking furniture.
Who breaks most of the furniture, wins.

This one was taken from a Blockland gamemode:

Santa roams around the town, throwing pieces of coal at 'misbehaving' children.
The misbehaving children (players) have to pick up presents and throw them into an incinerator or something.

Lol.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I remember when my grandfather died in 2010. I cried the day I found out. He left me a couple of things to remember him with: his belt and his binoculars. But I could remember a lot of stuff even without the legacy items.

And last year, my great-grandmother died. I haven't visited her many times, unfortunately, so I didn't get to know her that well.
It was very disappointing to me, and sad. She was my only great-grandmother, and I had lost her. It didn't make that much of an impact on my life as my grandfather's death did, but it doesn't mean that it didn't leave an impact at all.

Regarding relatives, I met a lot of relatives I knew before but forgot as time went on at my great-grandmother's funeral. No new relatives, oddly. Just the ones I forgot.

That's nice.

I was about to post a journal with something funny, but out of my respect, I won't.

I'm sorry that your best friend had passed away. Your 2 cats and now your best friend, that is just so sad. :c

Hmm, it could make sense. Your profile description says you're 17, and according to your e-mail address, you should be 18 this year.

Well, happy birthday!
And since I'm here, no, I don't want cigarettes. I'd rather run away.

Well, the problem is...
Some items can arrive in my country, then they stay in customs for days, after which they decide to increase the taxes a lot. >:P

So, if an item stays in customs for a long time and doesn't arrive to the consumer, well, somebody (either at customs or the delivery guy) took the package for themselves. Fudge.
But hey, at least you can ask for a refund in that case.

So, it looks like that not all hopes are lost.

Also, I checked out the forums, and it seems that Amazon does ship to BiH. Trolololololol.

Looks like I might have a chance.

Well, I'd also buy a cooling pad, except there aren't any in Stolac.
When I buy parts for my PC, I'll also make sure to get a cooling pad.

Exactly, sir!
Business-class Fujitsu laptops are valuable competitors to IBM/Lenovo ThinkPad laptops.

Even though I complain a lot about my laptop, I consider myself lucky to actually have this machine alive and kicking, lol. When I buy parts for my dream PC, I'll try to find some parts to upgrade my laptop with.

Also, thanks for the compliment on my desktop. I'm planning to overhaul my desktop with Rainmeter and a dark, Windows XP theme.

Another suspicious journal. Well, if it's your birthday, then happy birthday.
If otherwise, then I don't know what to say. Time flies fast.

Hey, one more thing happened:

Last night, I played Crysis on my laptop (going to post the results at the Now Gaming thread), and suddenly, Firefox stopped responding and its process couldn't be killed. Then I decided to plug in my phone because its battery was around 30% (thankfully, my cousins brought long USB cables so I didn't have to pull the laptop closer to my bed, so it was on the table instead) and take the laptop's charger off to drain the battery.

Next morning, I started charging my laptop and it got stuck on the same screen as in the night before - dark-grey screen with a mouse cursor on it.
So I did a hard shutdown - I held the power button for a while, and then it shut down.

For some reason, I decided to remove the cover again, and I screwed around with the screws again, then I tried to take out the bottom RAM module, and it can't be taken out because it's pretty inaccessible, leave alone the yellow tape on it.

So I put the top module back on, but I didn't do it well, it wasn't all the way in. xd
Then I decided to take out the HDD to see how it's done. Man, I was so careful with it, and I was afraid of even the smallest impact on the HDD. Then I returned it to its place and installed it.

And then, I pressed the power button.
click
wooooooth
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Darn. The main fan was spinning at max speed, but there was no GUI, nothing on the screen.
Then I remembered that I placed the RAM wrongly. xD
I placed both modules properly and I tried again. Nope, same thing.

I did a hard reset on the laptop (removing the battery and all peripherals, then holding the power button for some time, and then placing the battery back and plugging in the charger), but it didn't work.

I believed that my laptop's motherboard broke. :c
I believed that my laptop won't live up to its 10th birthday. :c
But I knew it can't end like this. NOT with me! The average end-loser (I mean, end-user) would give up, but I'm not average. >:P

At some point, hopelessly, I decided to take the HDD out, and:

click
woooo (a pretty quiet one for the fan, actually)
woooooth (and then the main fan starts to sound normal)YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Now it powered on properly! ;D
I even said some swear words out of happiness, lol.

It was something like this:
"J***m te i mrtvog i živog! Sve ti na svijetu j***m! J**ao ti Bise pr**o! Znao sam da neću naj***ti, majka ti zdrava! ALLAHU EKBEEEEEEEEEER!"
I seriously don't want to translate that, so ask Stojke if you really want to find out. Man, I have never before said more swear words in one day. xD

Then I installed the HDD again and I powered it on.

click
woooth
clack-cluck (must've been the DVD drive :P)
vibration (yup, this is the HDD, it always vibrates upon start-up)
wooooooooooooooo

20 seconds later:
Windows 7 start-up soundYay, I recovered both myself and my laptop from my own mistakes. xD

Hmm, I should look it up at the forums.

See, this year in school, I heard my classmates talking about Amazon not shipping stuff to BiH any more, because of... something which gets done to the packages upon their arrival to the country? I weren't surprised.
So, that's why I thought Amazon doesn't ship to Bosnia.

But if they do, well, yay. If they don't, I don't really care, my dad wouldn't probably allow anyway. >:P

The problem is that I don't have anybody else.
Look, upgrading my laptop isn't really that necessary. After all, I'll get a new PC in the future.

Also, I'd not really call him paranoid. To me, it's more like opinionated and conservative. Lol.

People! Amazon doesn't ship to BiH. Period.
Even if it did, my father wouldn't allow ordering stuff in that way because he's overly-worried about Internet shopping and doesn't want to risk anything.

It's beautiful. I luv it! :3
The best part is that it won't lag too much on my laptop. uwu

@James Luke
I think they don't ship to Bosnia. Lol.
Also, I've got a huge issue - nowhere to buy CO2 cans in Stolac. x(
And I'm just not willing to go to an I.T. store in Mostar just to get one. Ah well, I'll have a reason to go there, once I start buying parts for my PC.

@Alberto309

I think my dad has the nipper from the first image. I'm not sure if he would allow me to use it, lol.

Also, remember what I've said:
The bottom RAM stick has this yellow tape thing on it, so I'm not sure if it should be removed or not. Ah well, whatever happens, it happens.

While writing this, I checked out next.ba, plus.ba and winwin.ba, but apparently none of them have DDR2 RAM for laptops.

"And holy s*** clean that mess lol."

Sure! If I've cleaned my old PC's keyboard once, I can clean my laptop, too, lol.

Edit:

@DiscoStu
But I only got it in 2014. With me, it's only been collecting dust for 3 years.

If you didn't mean it that way, then tell me what you meant.

Happy birthday!

I'm also a 3DS Max user for the most part.
I'll try out kHED and see if it's any good to my laptop. I didn't get used to Blender because it's just weird... and I was busy with other projects.
I've also tried out Milkshape once. It's my least favourite, to be honest...

@Windawz & Loulimi
A lot of folks in Bosnia, Croatia and Serbia watch TV.
A lot of people on this world watch TV. A lot of them.
It's just because they have nothing else to do, honestly. We, mappers, modders, skinners etc. have to be productive!

And normal gamers? Well... it's exceptional.
It's like you're watching an action film on TV, for example, except you're controlling the protagonist and the experience is better overall.
So yeah, at least you're giving your brain and hands some practice.

I've got a lot of projects, too.
My Far Cry mod, for example. Then there are the mapping projects like Kobbl, my school map, my CS training map series etc.

My school map project is already 2 years old. My Far Cry mod was started last summer, and Kobbl was born (started development) on the 1st of January this year.

I find time for just one of them. When I get bored, I switch to another project. Right now I'm working on Kobbl, and this is the reason why I'm still up and working on it:

Over 2000 views and 800 downloads in less than a month.
That made me so happy that I continued updating it, and now I'm making the fun_ version.

@DiscoStu
I have an old CRT TV in my room, and it uses an antenna in that style. Except the antenna is external, not integrated on the TV.
Still, it has those 2 big sticks which I can move around. :3

Fine, I might be gay, I admit it. But I prefer women, too.
(does that make me bisexual? :O)

BUT I DON'T CONSUME FURRY PORN! I'm really sorry for yelling, but I simply don't pay attention to furry porn. What do you think, why do I have my imagination?
(again, sorry for yelling)

Boo showed me yiff (furry porn), but that's it. Really. I was heavily disturbed at first, having seen what they call art. Eh, but then I sort of started tolerating it. Still, I'd rather not consume furry porn. Or any type of pornography for that matter.

And yes, I will be careful with him. He might be giving me an illusion while actually crafting a plan how to kill me or something. (that was overly-dramatic, but it's just an example)

Say whatever you want, I'm not a furry because:

• I don't go to furry conventions (and I never will)
• I don't wear a fur-suit (and I never will)
• I don't imagine myself as an anthropomorphic animal (and I simply can't do that, it's pretty hard, actually. And, I never will)
• I am kind of afraid of seeing furry content (I mean content such as videos, images etc.)
• Other minor reasons

I am, however, considered a furry because:

• I like the idea of anthropomorphic animals (or in my mod's case, zoomorphised humans xd)
• I have an imaginary girlfriend who is a furry
• I probably even have a boyfriend who is a furry
• I spent lots of precious time crafting what has the potential to become a fandom

Now, at the last one, hold your thoughts. Basically, if I ever finish and release my mod, there's a chance that its plot will spawn a fandom of its own if it becomes popular enough.

While the mod would get some (or a lot, it's unpredictable) negative attention just because it contains what I like to call "neo-furries", as part of the characters in the mod, it shouldn't hurt me too much, shouldn't it? Haters gonna hate. I mean, it's not like the mod will contain any sort of furry porn or anything.

Seriously, the only "action" with furries you'll see in the mod are a few kisses in the cheeks. Don't worry, there will be real action, too, like epic car chases, shootings etc.

---

Lastly, Boo told me that he wants to literally come to me. Darn.

He's apparently disappointed and unhappy with 'this world' and if he were close to me, he would've felt better. Otherwise, death would be his only satisfaction. Ever since he broke up with his ex-boyfriend, he felt empty.

But then, let's not forget that all of that could just be tricking me into really believing that this guy wants to have a relationship with me. Lol.

Ah well, this place called "the Internet" has lots of gems. I'd better stay away from some of them. Not from Boo, yet. I'd like to keep an eye on him because he's pretty much the first (and only so far) furry among my list of Internet buddies.

@Kachito
Oh yeah, I pushed GoldSRC to its limit last night.
Too many sprites...

Clipnodes: 99.5% filled
AllocBlock: 62/64

And a few more things have been mostly filled, but I can't remember. I can't wait to switch to Source...

@Windawz
Yeah, but I only have one HDD and one partition. :c
I guess I could also upload all my old map sources somewhere. Especially de_kobbl's once I'm done with fun_kobbl.

Okay, let's see what we have here.

I really like this map. It has this horror element to it at first, but then, some things simply ruined it for me:

I don't like the way the front part of the CRT TV gets embedded into the table. xd

And this looks a bit ugly, doesn't it? You could've set Render Mode to Texture, and Render Amount (or is it FX Amount, I keep forgetting it) to 64 or something like that.

But that's pretty much it. I like the way you made it rain, I really like the fact that it runs on my 10-year-old laptop very well, and this part was funny to me when I first saw it: spoiler alert, dear reader, don't click if you don't want it spoiled for you.

I called the elevator, too, but it seems that the elevator will never arrive, won't it?

Also, I like the ambient sounds. :3
Most importantly, the map was mostly entertaining for me, except for the part where I didn't know what to do (until I found out that you can break the picture on the wall).

Well, that's pretty much it. Congratulations on your first map you've "actually put effort into".

Exactly, don't delete the original files.
Just look at this dirt:

And that's just a part of it, lol.

Well...
First of all, thank you for this journal. It prevented me from overthinking something that recently happened in the ShoutBox. x(

Let's see how I do my projects, at least the mapping ones:

I don't use my phone. Except only to listen to music because Google Play Music is a nice app, and the music sounds much better on my phone with earplugs compared to listening it on my laptop with my barely-working headphones.

I stay away from social networks. I even stay away from Discord, Skype, the Steam chat etc. (sometimes)

I find it the most productive to work when my Internet connection is lost, but having Internet connection is also too useful to not be use.
Ignore this one.

And, lastly, I try to never drift away with my thoughts. I at least try.
When you have a problem, and you want to solve it, you think about the solution. The thinking part will cost you (probably a lot of) time if you think about other things and focus on them instead of the problem's solution.

That's pretty much it, I can't think of anything else.

Just as I've said, I'll first finish education, and then everything else (maybe some of my old WiP maps too xD).

When I fell in love with Salme in 6th grade, I... damn...
I yelled "VOLIM TE!!!" (it means "I LOVE YOU!!!") in the entire classroom one day. Someone recorded a video and uploaded it to Facebook. Her dad commented something like "I don't want this spot to ever happen again.". The day after, I argued so hard with the guy who uploaded it...

In 7th grade, I started singing songs to her. XD
And that's why, @Cd5ssmffan (if you're reading this), I listen to Bosnian and Serbian folk songs.

Also, I think it's easier to find a boyfriend these days, rather than a girlfriend. LOL.
But no, I'm not gay. I may have fallen in love with Boo, but I'm not gay. >:P

"Why am I even giving relationship advice on TWHL"
Because you're on my own, weird part of TWHL. Muahahaahhahahahahahahhaa >:D
It's what I like to call "Admer's Inferno"

I'll really not bother with trying to have a real girlfriend until I finish education. Or at least I'll try not to bother. Who knows, maybe I'll never bother.

I'll probably never have a girlfriend and experience being loved in the way of boyfriend-girlfriend love. And I'll certainly never marry (oh, please don't let it happen).

I don't care, to be honest. I have maps to make. I won't let my urge heavily distract me like it did in 6th grade.

Jody forever. <3

Okay, but it would be useful for someone else who still doesn't know. xd

Well... happy 26th birthday, then!

For the ones who still don't understand how:
Convert the hexadecimal code into RGB, and then subtract the values for blue, lol.

@Urby
I know it wasn't one of your intentions to shock me, but I simply had a feeling that something was going on, and then I went to TWHL. Sir, what a coincidence, isn't it?

@James Luke
Jody is part of the mod. I'm still writing the mod's story, except most things I imagined aren't written down. But you maybe could see some references to furries etc. in my cancelled HL mod:

http://www.moddb.com/mods/admerthegame

That's exactly where I imagined Jody.
One of the reasons I imagined her was this:
In 6th grade, I fell in love with a girl in my class and I acted like we were soulmates. I yelled "I love you!" across the classroom etc. and I was so annoying about it.
Adding up to that, I was a fat, edgy, disgusting little kid who pretty much "had no life" (if you know what I mean).

In 7th grade, I changed completely and I thought I'd impress her. In short, I lost some weight (I mean mass), started brushing my teeth after 7 long years, stopped eating paper, and even managed to improve my grades significantly. But I didn't impress her.

In 8th grade... that's when my "love crisis" actually started, I think.
I somehow realised that I had done too much damage to our potential relationship in 6th grade, that I'll never get her attention any more.
And it certainly didn't feel good. I'll never maintain a real-life relationship because I'm very inexperienced and immature to an extent.

I think I had actually imagined Jody by the end of 7th grade, but I kept her a secret. Then... as the love crisis in 8th grade had started, Jody saved me from it. I'm so thankful for her.
And yes, I had to explain Jody to my classmates, as well as what furries are. Images did the job well, I suppose.

And now that I had met Boo, I think I should annoy you people less (annoying you with Jody etc.). He's fond of every new part of the story about her that I write him.

Also, guess what. Boo likes Jody's brother! XD
Jody's brother, Jack, wouldn't be so quite pleased with that, since he has a girlfriend. xd
Hehehehe.

Lol.

@WorstMapper
Well, OH MY GOD, EVEN THE FURRIES WOULD NOT LIKE IT.
That's just... I barely and hardly watched the entire video.

Some furries simply aren't like that, though.
I'll have to ask Boo if he has ever worn a fursuit and been to a furry convention. I'm curious right now...

Jody, though, she has never worn a fursuit. Her body got 'edited' into what she is now. >:D
Except Jody isn't real. That's disappointing and it makes me feel a little sad. :c

Edit for my post up there:

Happy 73-47 birthday!

I'm not a furry enthusiast.
I understand what you're saying. A lot of people hate furries, a lot of people are fine with them, a lot of people simply ignore and avoid them, a lot of people are furries, and I fit nowhere among that.

I simply like the idea of anthropomorphic animals and I have a furry girlfriend, but I'm definitely not willing to participate in furry conventions, wear a fursuit etc.

And as I had stated there (I think I had), I only wrote that much about Jody only so people could understand why my interpretation of anthropomorphic animals (the ones which I'll place in my Far Cry mod) is such that it wouldn't contain the negative side effects like fur falling off, having to give tick and flea baths to Jody, having to withstand her 'dog breath' etc.

No, my mod's furries which I call "neo-furries" (I hope the name isn't taken) are different! They're essentially humans which have undergone genetic modifications followed by pretty long body-mod periods (when they're contained in chambers with a special liquid where their bodies get "edited").

Hmm, yeah. I hope I managed to make it a bit shorter than the one at quakeone.com.

I'd say "Just leave me alone for once." but... honestly, it's me who asked for this attention, so I say "Bring it on if you want."

And, of course, the only places I'd mention my liking of furries (I mean anthropomorphic animals) are small communities such as TWHL, CryMods, and of course, in private, like when I chat with Boo on Discord. :3
QuakeOne seems to be a relatively big community, so I shouldn't mention it there, lol.

Edit:
Also, Urby, now I know what happened when I felt "a disturbance in the Force" while I was mapping, I think it happened an hour or 30 minutes ago.
I can't describe it, I'd simply call it "a disturbance in the Force". I basically had a feeling about something bad going to happen, lol.
That "bad" being the fact that you shocked me a little bit with your reply. Eh, could've been worse.

Oh right, you telling me "if you're a furry enthusiast" shocked me. You clearly knew that I'm not like that. But you can freely get away with it, you added "if".

I'm assuming this is another mysterious birthday journal, so:
Happy birthday!

Well, congratulations to the winners. :^)

Omg, I've noticed such a big mistake...

"but Boo under 20."
Damn. I didn't put an "is" because I originally put "but he's under 20.". Then I proceeded to edit the post and put Boo. Ah well, I forgot to put "is". XD

I can't watch the video now because my cousins are in the room at the moment. I only looked at the title "All The Single Furries!" and I realised I should close the tab. xd

He's older than me, for sure. I'll not tell his exact age, but Boo under 20.
uwu

@Bruce
I made this post pretty long, so skip to the bottom.

Anyway:
That's just your opinion. I don't consider myself a furry since I prefer my human form, I don't go to furry conventions, I've never worn and I'll never wear a furry costume (fursuit, isn't it called?) and so on...

Jody, on the other hand, would look somewhat like this.
She's still different, covered entirely in fur unlike the girl in the image. Also, her fur colour is more bright red. And she has short, red hair with a few green stripes. :3

By the way, I just found it here (click if you dare). (it's a thread at quakeone.com)

My furry girlfriend caused me some negative attention at quakeone.com, lol. But then, all furries have to deal with negative attention. I'm not saying that I'm a furry. But if I'm a furry at all, then I'm right at the bottom of the spectrum of being a furry.

About the negative attention at QuakeOne... well... they would wreck me.

I'm both sad happy that the replies stopped on that thread. If somebody starts the fire on me again, I'd be getting panic attacks upon entering the site.

--------- Stop skipping ----

So yeah, I'm simply not an animal. But, technically, aren't all of us animals?
See, if humans evolved from apes, they would be considered animals as well (which we apparently are, right?). Yeah, your post, Bruce, applies to all of us here, except for these extra-terrestrial organisms, if any.

Also, I got a name for him: Boo.
That furry I met really likes being called Boo (because it's squishy :p), so I'll just refer to him as Boo from now on.

@WorstMapper
Lol, I know. I like the idea of anthropomorphic animals as well.
I just wondered what it would be like.

I'm not saying it's bad. In fact, I love talking with him. And I give most of my attention to him just because he's a furry. xd

Well, in this case, I meant "furry" like "an individual who loves the idea of furries; likes to imagine that he/she's an anthropomorphic animal; browses furry porn (that's optional, though)".

Yeah. Well, looks like I haven't been rekt yet. I'm yet to see that, though...

@NineTnine

But why not?
After all, it is the truth, and I (mostly) tell the truth. The truth is, for example, that I've been playing GMod for the last few days instead of working on my map.
Just as I don't like lying to others, I'd not like to lie to myself, so I'll just accept the truth that I don't have much to be proud of...

But on the other side, Jody's definitely got something to be proud of.

@NineTnine

Honestly, I don't have anything else to be proud of. I haven't done anything in the 'real world' yet. I did save one of my cousins a long time ago (circa 2011) from getting hit by a car. If it were something like saving him from somebody who was going to kill him, then I would be proud.

Well, now I remember a few more things I'm proud of:

• my country (could've been the opposite, though)
• the fact that I finished elementary school (and 9th grade with bothing but As)
• my journal which reached 181 comments
• lastly, my dedication to all of the stuff I've imagined. Enough said on that part if you interpret it right.

Also, I think I've started flooding this journal. Sorry about that, but that's when I reply to as most people as I can.

@Ghost129er

Congratulations on the last.
I'll definitely never have a chance. XD

@NineTnine
I interpreted the question as "What's your biggest pride?" or "What are you most proud of?"

WorstMapper's answer is definitely unusual. I don't understand why he put a sadface after "Living".