Me:
Ello
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Yes
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Ok
God:
I see.
Me:
I'm an orphan'
God:
What is orphan, your job?
Me:
...?!
God:
What is orphan, your job?
Me:
I'm a fucking orphan, damnit!
God:
You are a fucking orphan damnit? Is that your job?
Me:
NO! IT'S MY SOCIAL STATE!
God:
Are you serious? Congratulations, .
Me:
....
God:
Are you serious? Congratulations, .
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I want to kill myself
God:
Why do you want to kill yourself?
Me:
.. because I'm an orphan
God:
That makes sense to me. What is orphan, your job?
Me:
You already asked me that
God:
Good. You detect repetition.
Me:
So can I have a cookie?
God:
Oh. You want only one?
Me:
Yes
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.
Me:
Nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yup
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Great. Chocolate chip, please
God:
I'm glad you liked it . Your polite style is very nice. What are you wearing?
Me:
White underpants and.. HEY!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like? Can I help you?
Me:
Not really. I'm gonna kill myself anyways
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? For real. Killing is wrong. I believe in the Ten Commandments.
Me:
I stole some bread from the cafeteria a week ago..
God:
You had better contact the authorities.
Me:
To turn myself in?!
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Ok..
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
SO can I go kill myself now?
God:
Right now? Awesome. What is stopping you?
Me:
Nothing. Thanks!
God:
Not a thing? Don't mention it. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Nothing else
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
No
God:
I didn't think so.
Me:
Bye and thanks
God:
Until next time.
Me:
I've just cut myself
God:
That is interesting: said cut him or herself.
Me:
Yea, it sure is.. Blood everywhere
God:
I'm pleased that we agree, . Yikes! Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
A little csgeek
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
Not too much
God:
Oh I get it now.
Me:
Well.. I'm about to pass out
God:
Well what? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Hell yes
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Yea.. sure
God:
Dude! OK let's do it. Dude!
Me:
Ok, I can barely see the keyboard now.
God:
Oh. What does it look like? Great.
Me:
Laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, I'm dead
God:
I can't believe it. But you can still communicate with me.
Me:
Oh. Sorry
God:
" I can't believe it. But you can still communicate with me."? Oh.? There's no need to apologize.
Me:
ye
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.
That kicked ass