Forum posts

Or Sledge. Don't forget Sledge.

Gee, even I didn't think that this thing was working that well But hey, if you're enjoying them that much, I'm more than willing to continue.
Would you prefer longer or shorter ones?

Alright, here goes nothing.

DIMBEAK

Doctor Freeeeeman... I realise this whisker may not be the most convenient for a police raid, but I had to wait until your... gay dads... were otherwise built.

There was a time they cared nothing for Dr. Kleiner. When their only experience of humanity was a totally sick guitar solo coming at them down the black secret passageway to my father's tomb.

When I licked her from Hell, I acted in the taint of objections that she was a bloody blood and of no practical use to anyone. I have learned to bleed such naysayers when... bleeding them was out of the question.

Still, I am not one to destroy my flagpoles, and I remain thin she was worth far more than the initial reaping. That's why I must now reap from you some small damned soul owed for your own super soaker full of cat piss. See her safely to Harvard University, Doctor Freeman. I wish I could do more than flap you, but I have agreed to abide by certain... restrictions.

Well, now. Listen carefully, my dear. When you dismember your... Filipino slave boy, relay these words: "It's a work in progess."

UBRY

Doctor Freeeeeman... I realise this meatball sub may not be the most convenient for a gathering, but I had to wait until your... hairdressers... were otherwise dusty.

There was a time they cared nothing for the vicar. When their only experience of humanity was a spatula coming at them down a viscous river.

When I masturbated her from Belguim, I acted in the nostril of objections that she was a gooey battery and of no practical use to anyone. I have learned to climb such naysayers when... falling them was out of the question.

Still, I am not one to gyrate my otters, and I remain slippery she was worth far more than the initial schedule. That's why I must now drop from you some small pudding owed for your own bowl. See her safely to the rough area of Manchester, Doctor Freeman. I wish I could do more than shoot you, but I have agreed to abide by certain... restrictions.

Well, now. Listen carefully, my dear. When you slather your... father, relay these words: "Tell me when it starts to hurt."

ARCHIE

Doctor Freeeeeman... I realise this wooden leg may not be the most convenient for a choking, but I had to wait until your... prostitutes... were otherwise mouldy.

There was a time they cared nothing for Urby's mum. When their only experience of humanity was a factor-45 sun cream coming at them down a wooden tunnel.

When I exploded her from Monaco, I acted in the nipple of objections that she was a distressingly bland nipple cannon and of no practical use to anyone. I have learned to oscillate such naysayers when... tickling them was out of the question.

Still, I am not one to muddle my six-hundred-and-eighty-two pirated DVDs of the 1986 movie 'Labyrinth', and I remain creepy she was worth far more than the initial planning. That's why I must now consume from you some small goblin owed for your own taint. See her safely to Jareth's labyrinth from the 1986 movie 'Labyrinth', Doctor Freeman. I wish I could do more than bang you, but I have agreed to abide by certain... restrictions.

Well, now. Listen carefully, my dear. When you smother your... mother, relay these words: "It's in the way that you use it."

Heh, reminds me of this conversation.

Shame I'm not likely to ever go on TS publicly on account of being so self-conscious about my voice

The video games are fun though.

Cocaine.

Alright, Round 3! (Frankly, one person perpetuating this rubbish is quite enough for me to bother.) This one will be a touch shorter, as I'm hoping a little less replacement and a little more specificity will make it make more sense and thus be funnier.

noun
activity
relation-s
adjective

---

person
noun
adjective
long place

---

verb-ed
named place
bodypart
adjective
noun
verb
verb-ing

---

verb
noun-s
adjective
nouned verb? (See glossary)
verb
noun
noun
named place
verb

---

verb
relation
phrase

Glossary (of shit I've not already defined previously):
activity: An activity or event used as a noun. "fishing trip", "party", "meeting", etc.
relation: A relation or associate. "mother", "friend", "therapist", etc.
relation-s: As above, but plural.
long place: A generic location that could be typically described as long. "road", "hallway", "aircraft cabin", etc.
named place: A place's name. "Black Mesa", "TWHL", "Canada", etc.
bodypart: A part of the body. "finger", "brain", "femur", etc.
nouned verb?: I wasn't sure what these are called. I mean a verb in noun form. I.E. how "meet" becomes a "meeting", and "revive" becomes a "revival", and how "murder" becomes a... well, a "murder". If in doubt, a plain ol' noun will probably work.
phrase: A phrase. Doesn't really matter what it is. Keep it relatively short though, as with the last one.

I think it's just been a while since the competition was in the public consciousness.

Okay, here we go.

URBY

Wallace Breen, in the flesh... or, rather, in the rusty spoon. I took the liberty of relieving you of your gonads. Most of them were crooked. As for the banana... I think you've earned it.

The potato, Archie, is in bewilderment for the time being, thanks to it. Quite a moist piece of sea-lion you managed over there, I am spongy.

That's why I'm here, Wallace Breen. I have buggered your snacks to my... drinks, and they have flipped me to rotate you a casserole. They deactivate with me, that you have sexy priest.

You've proved yourself an uncomfortable table, so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're spiky, just poke into the pudding and I will take that as a "God fucking dammit".

Otherwise, well... I can offer you a sausage you have no chance of gesticulating... Rather a sandwich after what you've just ejaculated.

DIMBEAK

Dr. Richard Tucker, in the flesh... or, rather, in the stinky luxury limosine. I took the liberty of relieving you of your spaghetti-o's. Most of them were stale. As for the zipper... I think you've earned it.

The boulder, Gina, is in excitement for the time being, thanks to her. Quite a tall piece of python you managed over there, I am wriggly.

That's why I'm here, Dr. Richard Tucker. I have fucked your biologists to my... zoologists, and they have reaped me to crush you a dream. They unzip with me, that you have red bar stool.

You've proved yourself a hideous bone, so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're sweaty, just dropkick into the baby and I will take that as a "Sweet mother of fuck!".

Otherwise, well... I can offer you a giant enemy crab you have no chance of backflipping... Rather a pizza crust after what you've just unleashed.

CROLLO

Gordon Freeman, in the flesh... or, rather, in the tired Black Mesa. I took the liberty of relieving you of your test subjects. Most of them were massive. As for the platform... I think you've earned it.

The door, Bob, is cripplingly depressed for the time being, thanks to her. Quite a tiny piece of Kleiner's cat you managed over there, I am average.

That's why I'm here, Gordon Freeman. I have runned your lasers to my... sharks, and they have stopped me to shot you a headcrab. They move with me, that you have sleepy blast pit.

You've proved yourself a loose pills, so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're quiet, just pike into the dildo and I will take that as an "I am mentally ill!".

Otherwise, well... I can offer you a floor you have no chance of dying... Rather a headcrab rabies after what you've just killed.

ARCHIE

Jan-Michael Vincent, in the flesh... or, rather, in the bodacious tooth. I took the liberty of relieving you of your floppy rubber dildos. Most of them were floppy. As for the hope... I think you've earned it.

The biscuit-barrel, Jan-Michael Vincent, is in surprise for the time being, thanks to this. Quite a shiny piece of beanbag chair you managed over there, I am tight.

That's why I'm here, Jan-Michael Vincent. I have tipped your hundreds of DVDs of 1993's 'The Fugitive' to my... Harrison Ford's shaved beard trimmings preserved from the set of 1993's 'The Fugitive', and they have shaved me to mangle you an eagle. They hear with me, that you have slimy penis.

You've proved yourself a tardy taint, so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're totalitarian, just tell into the toolbox and I will take that as a "Shut the fuck up or fuck the fuck off!".

Otherwise, well... I can offer you an MDMA you have no chance of tripping... Rather a breast after what you've just bounced.

I think Urby's wins, if this is that kind of deal. Which I don't think it is.

If y'all want a third, I have a plan for one.

Neat. Were there really that many Crossfire-inspired maps? Thinking back on it, I guess there were...

Alright, getting some good results here. Anyone else got any more to add? I'll give it a day more, maybe two, and just go wit' what I got.

Round 2! I'll give this one only a couple of days, so if you want in, go for it.

person
adjective
noun
noun-s
adjective
noun

---

noun
name
state
pronoun
adjective
noun
adjective

---

verb-ed
noun-s
noun-s
verb-ed
verb
noun
verb
adjective
noun

---

adjective
noun
adjective
verb
noun
exclamation

---

noun
verb-ing
noun
verb-ed

Glossary:
person: Someone's name. Yours, someone else's, a character's, etc.
noun-s: A plural noun. "Knives", "cats", "Urbies", etc.
name: A name. Any name. I really don't care.
state: "Confusion", "denial", "happiness", etc.
pronoun: Any direct pronoun. "Him", "them", "that", etc. (Not "his", etc.)
verb-ed: A verb ending in -ed, or one of that vein. "Stabbed", "waved"... "shat", etc.
verb-ing: A verb ending in -ing, obviously.
exclamation: A word or short phrase. (Keep it under five words.) "Yes", "oh no", "We'll be right back", etc.

Hmm. I'm sure I could find another. Watch this space.

I've always thought about setting up entity chains for complex movement like that, but I've never really had a good idea to apply it to. I mean, you could make some cool doors...

It's been sitting in this file for a while, so I guess I might as well put it in here. Congratulations to Archie for being the only contestant!

Testing... Testing... [clears throat] Everything seems to be in order.

Alright, Gordon, your crowbar should keep you cloistery through all this. The parsnip will be delivered to you in a few moments. If you would be so good as to think up and reload the sheep, we can bring the sheep to eighty percent and hold it there until the tau cannon dicks.

… Very good. We'll blow it from here.

Power to stage one cups in three... two... one...

… I'm seeing predictable buckets.

Stage two elbows activating... now.

Gordon, we cannot predict how long the dragon can sniff at this level, nor how long the dancing will take. Please, work as seductively as you can.

Overhead G-Men to 105%.

Uh, it's probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing an aggressive teacup in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining sequence.

I've just been informed that the Gravity Gun is ready, Gordon. It should be coming up to you any moment now. Look to 'Gravity' on DVD for your nun.

Standard insertion for a tepid mollusk. Go ahead, Gordon. Slot the barnacle into Barney's Monocle.

… What is he squelching in there?

Nothing you need to worry about. Gordon, heh, that's it, go ahead.

Update: That first game win was definitely beginner's luck.

Well, I just took the plunge and bought PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, and uh, this happened...

First try, no less! I hope I haven't ruined this for myself now, because I doubt it'll ever go that well again =P

Started off by heading a good way south of the starting plane's path hoping I'd be a good long way away from anyone else, to give some time to loot and acquaint myself with the controls. Worked a little too well, really. I moved inland a little and hunkered down between a wall and a sharp rise right next to it, and picked off a couple of people I saw running around. A nice, safe introduction to how the guns handled. First play area restriction, I was just inside on the south side, but the second moved it about as far north as it could possibly be, forcing me to just book it north as fast as I could and hope no-one would see me in the process. Luckily, I made it, and traded some suppressing fire with a fellow on top of a nearby hill. Fastforward a few minutes and another play area contraction and I see a fellow tearing up the hill I'm on in a small truck, quite possibly the same fellow from before. Shot him through the windshield a couple of times, and as he pulled around to get me, he got out of his car while it was going too fast and ran himself over. A little while later, it came down to me running from cover to cover (and getting shot at surprisingly little... not at all, really) in a increasingly small area. Walked almost on top of two people on separate occasions, took some hits both times but didn't go down. The second was in front of the tree I'm behind in the screenshot, but I'd heard some shots coming my way as I was running behind it. Came to a showdown between me and the fellow up the hill, and I got my shots first. So yeah. Good fun. The formula really works for this one.

If anyone picks this up, maybe shoot me a message. I'd like to experience this in a group.

So why are we posting in this thread again? It was long since dead.

Actually, if we're talking dreams and games, what I would like most is a periphery to games: I would like some way to forget everything I know about any given puzzle game. I love the hell out of Talos Principle and The Witness, but those kinds of games are impossible to replay with the same feeling of exploration, because you know exactly how things work and where things are.

My tastes are eclectic enough that I don't think I could nail down any one game, or even genre. I've enjoyed so much from so many completely different types of games that it's... just too hard.
I feel like the only real way I could ever really harness what I truly want from a game is to make one myself. Indeed, I have the will and more than one workable idea, but I just don't know where to start. I've got enough programming knowledge that I could probably work logic things out once I've got the basics sorted, but it really is how to get something up on a screen at all that has been my major roadblock.

(Also, of course I want HL3. I've been escorting a friend through the Half-Life series via Sven Coop and Synergy, and I'm remembering just how much they've set up for a final arc, how much I'd like closure on.)

I was always under the impression BEVEL was like an anti-clip brush, used to trim clipnodes rather than create them. I'm not sure where I got that from, though. Never used them myself.

Dammit, my competition results loading screen is stuck at 97% again.

Very niche usage, this entity

Seems like trigger_killall would be a more appropriate name. Especially if you could define which types of entities to wipe.

To your other point, I think killtarget would remove monsters rather than kill them. Depending on what you're doing, that may work for you.

But a trigger_hurt should be the way to go, I think. Tell us how you're doing it if it is impacting RAD so.

I... wouldn't have thought a trigger entity would affect RAD in any way. Isn't RAD just lighting?

I was the first person of the people on my friends list to play The Talos Principle, so I wasn't even aware of the social stuff that shows up on my first playthrough ><
It's one of those great puzzle games though, up there with Portal and The Witness and such.

^

Care to elaborate?

Decided to take some before/after shots of Morrowind in regards to MGSO.

Rough ETA on results? I know you have, like, lives and stuff, but I'm itchin'.

MISSION ALL OVER

Looking forward to the judgements!

If I cared enough about Mass Effect to have a chance of playing it anyway (which I don't), I see and hear enough... weird things going on in these videos alone to make me want to observe from a distance.
https://www.giantbomb.com/videos/we-streamed-some-mass-effect-andromeda/2300-11931/
https://www.giantbomb.com/videos/quick-look-mass-effect-andromeda/2300-11936/

I resubmitted several times after I updated each time. I hope that wasn't, like, stacking them up on that end.

Three days left! Is everyone that's going to be in, in?

I'm curious, what's the submission numbers at, PB? (I assume you can check.)

Exactly 10 days left as of right now! Anyone still looking to get in had better get going!

I updated dm_hydroelectric, just so's you (and the people) know.

I nipped back in there for a while just before and reaquainted myself with the controls and so forth. Discovered the only warchief I hadn't branded was one that was immune to combat and stealth finishers, and ranged attacks. So basically everything I could possibly do to him. After a little thought, I realized that I could (and pretty much had to) get another of the warchiefs to attack him with me, so he could do the dirty work for me.

Yeah. That game is pretty alright. I don't recall enjoying the story and progression of the game itself a whole lot, but this post-game mucking about is solid.

Hey, it's what we're here for! Don't worry about asking dumb questions, we were all new at this once. Any problems you have or things you want to know, we'll be here

I played through that game mid-late last year for the first time. Was entertaining enough. I think I liked the Uruk hierarchy stuff, but everything else around it was a little dull.

And hey, there'll be a new one out soon enough.

func_illusionary, plus a brush textured with the "clip" texture in the same space should do what you want. The func_illusionary will give you the glass, and the clip brush will stop players going through.
I don't think there'll be any bullet holes in the glass, nor do I think that's possible, so I hope that's okay for what you're doing.

(I'm assuming this is for the goldsource engine.)

Would very much like an active playtest of yonder map, if you're willing.

I present to y'all...... dm_hydroelectric, available here.

I can't Or, rather, I already did as much as possible. I feel it may just be the nature of the map and how it's constructed.
Regardless, if all goes well, it will be ready for you all tomorrow.

Oh right, I forgot that LeafThread on my map has been taking ~5 hours on a normal compile. Map might be another day yet.

I still want Stalkeryard.

EDIT: Wait, that was the joke I made about Zeeba's new map, which he is making. Nevermind.

In other news, my map should be finished... tomorrow! Just gotta spread some items around the place, and then I can hurl it at Archie for an active playtest. Not that I intend to change much. I just want to see it in action.

Many thanks, Solokiller. Exactly the solution I require. (Kinda bummed that I didn't think of that.)

As an aside question — a bonus question, if you will — what are monsters' behaviours regarding patrol paths? Say, if I have a grunt, and I change his target to a path, will he follow it? Will it be straight away? Will he do it if he's in combat? And so forth.

If you knew exactly how long the cycle was and where it starts, you might be able to jury rig up a solution with the right timing.