Journals

2muchvideogames13 years ago2010-07-07 18:40:31 UTC 9 comments
Once upon a time I bought a game called blue shift. It is a half life mod, but its retail status is as legitimate as Halo: Combat Evolved. I'll tell you about that another time. We are discussing blue shift right now.

Most of you who played this tiny little mod must be familiar with how tiny it was. I'm saying about five or six chapters tops. And you wonder if it was really worth your money. Because azure sheep is not only free, features new code and monsters, and weapons too, but much, much longer than blue shift. (Blue shift features no new content, some custom generic models, and offers a high definition pack in which the M9 has 17 bullets per clip and the colt M4 has 50 bullets per clip. If that makes sense at all.)

And this was the reason why I lent my blue shift CD to a taiwanese bakery owner's son (twenty or thirty years old) some 5 or 6 years ago. Then later I heard that they moved back to Taiwan. What. The. F.

So now, I can't ever play blue shift any more. Not that it wasn't that great to begin with, but it is kinda sad to lose one mod of the higher end of the half-life mod scale (needless to say, a good amount of mods are either not very good or not very long, but most are lacking in new content. Blue shift at least has custom sounds, models, etc.) But that was then.

Ever since 2muchvideogames played tf2 on steam for a few measly days, he figured that steam may have more to offer than lagginess. And he has definitely stopped using his old, 17GB computer that you all may be familiar with. So one day I stumbled across the old blue shift CD case and blah blah blah, you all know where this story is going.

Okay enough writing, time for 2muchvideogames to do his thing.
2muchvideogames13 years ago2010-05-11 21:02:46 UTC 2 comments
This week let's view one of the most idiosyncratic mod I have ever met. It's an australian project called escape from woomera. It's even got its own wikipedia article! Now that's something.

I cannot lie-- with this mod openGL is required to see the textboxes that the entire game hinges on. That's right, you talk to people with text boxes much like a roleplaying game (which it is). As a software gameplaying chum, I therefore cannot complete it. But even in openGL the game crashes somewhere down the line for me. But of course, what kind of game is this? Is it even a game so to speak.

In this "game", there are no weapons, no monsters, none of the usual. This mod is much like a political announcement, and political stuff I have observed to be a very hot topic in twhl, just look at that one thread about how americans were stupid on a late nite tv show watched by doctors.

Aside from it, this mod has a bit of stealth element that I never got to. Like I said it crashed for me. Maybe you will have the better luck.
2muchvideogames13 years ago2010-05-02 17:15:17 UTC 4 comments
I just coded a new monster.
It's a guy toting a chaingun, you know, the heavy military guy from POV and SHL (and if you didn't know, EFTD had one also.) Of course, mine is kinda not as good, I didn't get him to "suppress fire" or anything. But anyways.

If you didn't know any of the three mods listed above, then you are spending too much time in real life. Get back in your seat and download all three of them! They are all popular so If you can't find them then you should take a class in basic internet explorations.

I'll discuss a fourth mod, though, not as good. This mod is called "Twhl mix", it consists of two maps. The first map has you whacking headcrabs with a crowbar, seeing a barney freefall, and getting attacked by a big blue monster. In the big blue room, I set the charges and quickly ran back to the hallway, whereas I saw all the crates spontaneously vanish and I figured I wasn't suppose to do that.

Afterward I get teleported to a Someplace-Else-like scenario, where a machine that can pass the turing test tells me to power up a generator. And then try to do a blue-shiftish teleportation escape.

I come upon a high-r-speeds tram station, where dead cola bottles are solid. This is when I see a very good suv prefab and enter a dark warehouse with alien species. Then beyond that was conducting a cloning experiment. After that I am stuck in my couch watching television. Oh, so it was all just a movie. What an excellent ending!

The map id is 2516. Please play and then be inspired to do a similar project.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-04-30 20:15:54 UTC 2 comments
I just got out the dll file, to see the crap I coded. And wow, crap it is. Maybe I should start with crowbar clones instead of gun clones. Atleast there is no ammo to worry about.

I played a mod, that you might have heard of, but not likely. It is called Pillars of Pain. Allow me to tell you of this mod's unique gameplay that sets it apart from most other mods.

Do you remember playing call of duty? Gameplay consists typically of trying to get across enemy groups in entrenched positions. Well this mod, pillars of pain, is a watered-down amateur version thereof. What I mean by this, is that the monstermaker entity is not programmed to turn off when you are standing next to it. Can you imagine.

The setting is extremely new. Rooftops, construction like areas, and strange alien temples/islands are where you will die in. The gameplay for all these brand new locations is monstermakers spawning things over and over. Therefore chances of your survival is as low as planck's constant.

I have told you all about the game. If you want it, please don't. Just take my word for it.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-04-26 19:36:20 UTC 5 comments
Before I talk about the next best mod I ever played, I should inform you I posted a forum topic about how to start coding, trying to get some help. If you post your answer here instead I wouldn't mind it.

Ok, now, everyone knows that mods tend to come in zips or rars, but more professional ones come in exe's, those installers that everyone loves (like how they overwrite files without telling you and such.) I am going to discuss one of those professional mods, this one also coming to us as an exe installer. The name is "Project VIP", scroll down for the link, which you know is in blue underlined text.

Get this, you are part of a one-member special forces team assigned to infiltrate a high rise office building and rescue a VIP whom you never meet. There are high definition weapons and soldiers, which of course is a plus for everyone here. The soldiers also sport black op attire, which is appropriate for their role as terrorists. But the highlight of this mod is the map design. You spend about one quarter of the game in air ducts, and there is a very annoying trend of floors and ducts crumbling at your feet (sometimes doing you fifty or so damage!) Be careful.

At one point you must use a c4 to blow up an elevator door, which is a standard gameplay tactic in today's FPS games. What's non-standard, however, is the stripping of your weapons immediately before confronting the final scene. Lemme tell you: in the final scene (which essentially amounts to a boss), you are stripped of weapons and teleported to the rooftop of the high rise building, where you need to fumble around in the dark for the crowbar near you. In the distance are four (4) soldiers, two mp5 and two shotgun, about to escape in their little helicopter. You must defeat all four using the crowbar you may or may not have found. Don't you think this is fitting as a "boss"? Go ahead, try it! No quicksaving, now.

I love how after the four guys are down, the screen fades saying you rescued the VIP and finished the mission. But where and who is the VIP..?

http://www.pcosmos.ca/mods-hl/downloads/?mod=projectVIP Link so that everybody can enjoy this experience. And remember, no quicksaving.

---------Something completely different---

I just played a game called tiberum dawn or something. In this game, you command little troops and build bases to destroy enemy bases. Sounds like warcraft ii.

You assume to role of some commander in an organization called the fraternity of nodd or something. Not too sure. This group is strange. It trains troops out of giant hand statues and every single vehicle has to be delivered via passenger airplane. The plane couldn't possibly to smart enough to carry a platoon, no, just one single bike or one tank. Totally unbalanced.

Remember when I said you build bases? Well, no. I'm stuck on a mission where you are started out with two groups on opposite corners of the map, one consisting of a large platoon of vehicles and the other made up of troops, engineers and a commander. There is a GDI base at the top right corner guarded by guard towers. The bottom, where my tank platoons are, is choked by a flipping gunboat patrolling the river. The reason I can't succeed here is because my infantry and engineers continually get wiped out by the upper GDI base which sends mammoth tanks at me, and there's no way I can hold them off for too long. So I give up.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-04-14 17:23:41 UTC 4 comments
2muchvideogames is back to complain about HL mods and the format of this website (still having to scroll down every new page for some reason. By this I mean that the right side of the page is always located under the left side of the page, and they are not aligned like in the past. I am not going to draw a picture to illustrate this because I'm busy playing video games.)

There is a two-map mod called Meat Blood Gun. Somehow, two maps with nil new content is enough to qualify as a mod. I'll keep that in mind.

This mod consists of you waking up in a dimly lit storage room, and the next few rooms consists of a certain clean-up squad that you've seen so many times in your gaming career.

The highlight of this mod is in the second map, which comprises a huge green field (uh oh.) Across the field is a parked truck convoy and a Marginot Line of grunts, backed by their leader Mr. Hi-R-speeds. Behold you, one man, pitted against the Western Front. Good luck getting through the field. And just to remind you: the reward for getting across the field is nonexistent. In fact, you will be left wondering whether the mod is over or not. It is.

What a great mod. Concise and to the point. However it suffers from a lack of thesis, intro, and conclusion.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-02-07 15:31:18 UTC 4 comments
Attn: On mod DB, there is a dude called petrick who is uploading a gamut of old mods for HL1. I like this guy. I recommend you to go to the Mod DB right now and download all the mods that were previously available only to people who could find foreign downloads. Now that you downloaded some of those excellent mods, you can find that the standard deviation of the quality of all those mods is really high (not necessarily a good thing).

This month we are going to discuss a mod called Robotech: Invasion (not on moddb). I cannot believe I did not find this mod earlier than I did, although whether it still exists is subject to debate. This mod features an unfinished training course, and unfinished main game also. But boy, would you wish it were finished! Lemme tell you, in addition to (poorly-modeled) new monsters, EVERYTHING HAS A CARTOON SKIN! Yep, all the items, weapons, and especially monsters are remodeled with cartoonish skins. The grunts are remodeled high definition, but their skins are not cartoonish, for some reason.

My favorite part (and maybe yours too, once you find it somehow) is all the new weapons. If I recall correctly, there are about 4 handguns, 4 submachine guns, and 3 protoculture weapons. I just want to say that all the weapons are roaring awesome, but maybe that's because the game makes headshots do way more damage. The only flaw in this game is boring boxy architecture, but that doesn't seem so important when you have roaring awesome weapons, in my opinion. Too bad it's unfinished though, I think it would turn out really gnarly if it was, what with bland architecture, crazy weapons, grunts who use more than a mp5 and shotgun (wow!), and giant mecha robos who have close to 1000 hit points. Oh woops, better not spoil anymore.

In HL: chronicles, there was one new weapon (actually 2), and that made it awesome. So in this game, there are more than 10 new weapons, so this game is logically more than 10 times more awesome. If you find fault with this logic, than you are perfectly sane. It's called opinion.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-01-28 01:09:23 UTC 4 comments
I KNOW IT IS NOWHERE NEAR HALLOWEEN BUT

http://www.fileplanet.com/113998/110000/fileinfo/Swiss-Cheese-Halloween-Mod (and there are many other places that offer this fun mod, but I figured fileplanet is the crappiest one.)

The mod name, if you read, is called swiss cheese halloween. Bear in mind it has nothing to do with cheese. No. This mod uses everyone's favorite spirit coding for half life. And you get to enjoy seeing new weapons (albeit only one.)

The object of this game is, I kid you not, to escape from your boring, mundane life in a boring, mundane cookie-cutter neighborhood and enjoy a tropical island retreat with the girl of your dreams. (This mod assumes you like girls whatever gender you are.)

And so, this Halloween night, you try to express your discontent for normal life by going into that boarded up house in the corner of the street, of which rumours of an unspeakable horror resides. You ignore said rumours and venture into that house.

AND LO AND BEHOLD: GRIM REAPERS appear all over town and reap the neighborhood adults who are all out trick or treating (children are all in school.) You get on your trusty skateboard only to realize that a Random Giant Portal has sucked you to a Whole New Location. Well, you wanted to escape from boring life, and now you get to do just that.

IN TRYING TO CONVINCE YOU TO PLAY THIS EXCELLENT MOD, I will tell you all about this mod's merits. There are WHOLE NEW ENEMIES, including Witches, Ghosts, Aliens, Acid-spitting Aliens, Banshees and Scarecrows who drop MP5 when killed, Demons who drop AR grenades when killed, pumpkins that fire pumkin missiles, Giant Momma Pumpkin, and MUCH MORE! In addition to new enemies there are WHOLE NEW LOCATIONS TO CONQUER: a Pumpkin Patch, an old castle, A hedge maze, a swampy maze, a UFO, a witches Home, and everyone's favorite location, Hell, where textures are scaled up because in Hell, r_speeds are important. My favorite part is where you ride an old Boat in a river for about 20 minutes on the way to Hell. Now That is Hell.

Clearly, this full-blown mod should rank HIGH UP THERE on the list of BEST MODS. You know. And if you want MORE OF THIS KIND OF WORK, Be sure to pick up the Half-life 2 mod of the same name! I don't play HL2 so I don't know if it actually exists or where the link is. BUT THE FACT REMAINS that I am Recommending This Mod To U and that you should try it out (instead of playing with bots on Steam you know.)
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-01-26 06:17:42 UTC 6 comments
OKAY ABOUT MY LAST JOURNAL
I'm so sorry I didn't provide links. I have underestimated how decayed Half-life 1 communities are... Now that I know how to, I will surely provide links in the future should it be necessary.

I noticed some of you guys (and zealously at that) appear to bash my retro setup. Yes, I play software mode. Yes, steam takes 20 minutes to load a game. BUT IT'S NOT NICE to say I am so retro as to be using IE6! The last time I used IE6 was when I was watching some yuri anime, and then I got some viruses on my laptop. IE6 Fail.

Yes, of course LIKE EVERY NORMAL PERSON NOWADAYS I use the firefox. I have learned on pain of viral infection that IE6 is not the way to go. But the fact remains that I have problems with this current layout, and I use a perfectly normal windows XP. There is total validity to this claim.

But everyone knows that with each of my journals comes news of a great new mod. http://www.pcosmos.ca/mods-hl/downloads/?mod=freeman: This mod is called Freeman. This mod features Freeman. And this mod is HARD. HARD on your EYES. You know. This is probably what they call laziness. Get this mod NOW.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-01-24 21:13:39 UTC 15 comments
After a while I stopped by here to see how things are going.

First of all the new layout, where everything is misaligned for some reason, is rather annoying. I have to scroll down for every page every time I click something, I'm not sure why the layout is messed up, and whether anyone else has noticed this. But that's not too important.

First of all, I want to tell all the veterans of this sitethat this is the most random map I have ever seen on this site.

OK SO NOW Today we have to discuss what I think are two of the BEST THE BEST half-life (1) maps I ever played. They are simple to find on the internet.

THE BEST MAPS ARE

3rd505th - made by a man who was in the army, so you know it's good.
intrvw1 - the G-man interviews gordon after hiring him for employment.

I want you guys to take a look at these maps, for these professionals will show you what real mapping is all about. Notice the weapon and enemy placement in strategic locations around the level. Notice the use of func_ entities such as func_trains and func_pendulums. Notice the appropriate use of water and glass. These maps are what the industries covet. Learn from them. Make maps like them. Then Learn to Like them.

P.S. I'm making another single-map mission so be patient. Not that anyone plays goldsource anymore, but,
2muchvideogames14 years ago2010-01-03 17:57:25 UTC 3 comments
Given that the English-speaking community, except moddb, has largely left Half-life 1 behind in the ashes, I have to resort to French, Russian, and especially Czech domains to search out mods and maps to satiate my namesake.

Alright, kids. I just want to have your attention for a minute or two to discuss a very...innovative mod I found. You may or may not have heard of it, but the name is-get this- PIMP MY CAR.

Allow me to tell you a lil' about this fun little mod. It is three maps long, featuring in order: your house, your town, and PIMP MY CAR workshop. The objective of this game is very simple. You must needs to just get from one area to the next, by solving puzzles, finding buttons, and answering riddles. Reminiscient of the mod "Afraid of Monsters" but don't worry there are no monsters. You are given a shiny new hi-definition magnum at the beginning too, that's a treat.

So... for those of you who are getting a bit stale with mindless gruntfests and aliens that you are by now so familiar with that you can take down three at a time without loosing health, give this little mod a test drive. After all, puzzles can be really fun, you know.

Alright, whatya waiting for? LET'S GO PIMP SOME CARS!!
2muchvideogames14 years ago2009-12-17 04:59:25 UTC 3 comments
HALF LIFE CLIFF NOTES
by 2muchvideogames

BLACK MESA INBOUND
Gordon rides the Black Mesa tram to work.

ANOMALOUS MATERIALS
Gordon arrives at Sector C where he shlunks the carrier into the beam causing a disaster of epic proportions.

UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES
Gordon breaks his way out of Sector C and somehow finds an elevator in the sewers.

OFFICE COMPLEX
Gordon navigates an office complex along with the help of scientists and security guards (on second thought, only the guards helped much.)

"WE'VE GOT HOSTILES"
Demonstrating a serious oversight of human rights, the US government sends in troops to neutralise all life including Gordon, who by now is toting a shotgun.

BLAST PIT
Gordon must somehow get past three long, sharp, deadly, noisy, and ugly green tentacles.

POWER UP
Gordon must power up a train while evading a big blue thingy...

ON A RAIL
A more violent train ride than the first chapter.

APPREHENSION
Gordon is apprehended by soldiers after surviving an assassination attempt on his life.

RESIDUE PROCESSING
Gordon tries to avoid being processed by undiscriminating machines.

QUESTIONABLE ETHICS
Gordon questions the ethics of putting secrecy and national security above individual human rights.

SURFACE TENSION
Gordon wonders why this chapter is called surface tension. And then he looks up and sees da choppers.

"FORGET ABOUT FREEMAN!"
Gordon rejoices since it is revealed that the soldiers are retreating from Black Mesa.

LAMBDA CORE
Some lazy scientists order Gordon to power up some pumps.
Then, Gordon is sent into another world. How fun.

XEN
Gordon jumps from platform to platform reminiscient of a plumber wearing red shirt and overalls.

GONARCH'S LAIR
Gordon's path is blocked by a walking testis. (Seriously that's what Valve programmers intended it to be)

INTERLOPER
Gordon goes gunnin' and runnin' across the factories of Xen like some action film hero.

NIHILANTH
Gordon attempts to hold peace talks with the supreme ruler of Xen, but it all breaks down eventually...

ENDGAME
Gordon declines his offer of employment and is left stranded on Xen, where he makes peace with the remaining aliens. With the death of the autocratic, warmongering ruler, Nihilanth, the remaining Xen population sets up a provisional government that holds democratic elections. Gordon eventually settles down and marries a vortigaunt and lives happily ever after. THE END
2muchvideogames14 years ago2009-10-29 19:57:42 UTC 8 comments
In an attempt to prove that this website can crank out new maps instead of just new forum topics, I am to post another map with around the same calibre as the first map I had.

Aside from that it's time to discuss another Half Life 1 mod. I am looking at Operation AMOD today. You might have come across this, but good for you if you didn't. The creators admit in their readme that the mod is "crap", so I won't be bashing the authors, only the mod itself.

This mod begins with what is possibly the coolest action cutscene in the history of HL mods. You are an assassin standing on a roof of an apartment trying to nail this doctor in the head. He steps out of the car with his bodyguards, who faithfully take your shots to save his life. The doctor escapes into a building and is never seen again.

At this point the USMC (not the police) is called in to secure the apartment you shot from. Apparently you are that much of a threat with your noclipping and godmodding powers. So, they send in this helicopter full of troops into your building, and you have to escape through the car park and give chase to the doctor on foot. You make it out of the apartment only because of your godmode powers.

You enter the building that doctor went through, seeing beautiful reflecting floors (as you might have seen before in Poke646 and Escape from the Darkness) Two bodyguards rush towards you with handguns. You dispatch them easily with impulse 101.

You enter a stargate-ish portal and end up in the weirdest of places... a temple full of houndeyes...a bar filled with bodyguards...a poorly-lit subway...among others. The temple in particular has the power to strip you of your weapons. Eventually, though, you enter a large airship and end up at a large complex chocked full of bodyguards. No aliens. No weapons. No health. No chargers. Only bodyguards who have 20-20 vision and aim.

After walking through endless corridors and surviving off godmode and impulse you arrive at a ship of some sort, which you pilot and go to the moon with. At the moon the sky is red and you maneuver through another complex filled with bodyguards. When you finally make it outside the game ends in that satisfying "fade to black" manner.

You wonder what could happen if you didn't impulse and godmod. Well, then there are many ways for you to snuff it in this mod. You can get killed by USMC corps because you ran out of handgun clips. You can get killed by the bodyguards because you ran out of handgun clips. You can get killed by the houndeyes, even, all because you ran out of handgun clips. Or you could just have fallen into a large chasm and died without handgun clips. Either way, you have no ammo. And waiting up ahead are 20 barneys who want you dead. They definitely have handgun clips.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2009-08-22 02:57:15 UTC 7 comments
Article: THE FLAMES OF WAR - INTERNECINE STRIFE AND DEATH OF A MOD

Located: http://www.moddb.com/mods/resident-evil-to-serve-and-protect/news/the-fate-of-retsp

People appear to complain about how long my journal entries are ("longest in the history of TWHL's journal entries) or something like that. In order to subtly point out the fact that my entries are merely just "light reading", compare to the article above, which basically is about a dude ranting about how a beloved mod had died and was forcibly taken from him.
And believe me he has alot of pent-up energies to let out.

If you actually read the whole thing like I did, then you might as well scroll down and read some more: the comments, which offer alternative interpretations of what may actually have happened and expose possible biases that the narrator had. Despite what you may have thought before, the Half-life community is still well-stocked with drama of this sort.

NOTE: Please do not fan the flame war there on this here website. I don't know anything about that mod.
2muchvideogames14 years ago2009-08-16 21:28:55 UTC 15 comments
Well, I noticed there are default FF8 avatars, so why not have an entry about FF8???

I started playing this weird game from disc four, right after the heroine wearing blue gets abducted by a man with a ridiculously large ego, who proceeds to hand her over to a 13 foot tall woman with an evil smile on her face. This is where I come in.

I am in command of 5 people: an emo-looking young man, blond dude with a provocative tattoo on his face, a cowboy using outdated guns, a blond lady wearing pink, and a girl in yellow dress. This odd group I have here then proceeded to fight the 13 foot tall lady, who has somehow superglued the heroine on to her chest. She then proceeds to suck the life out of
the heroine and blast me with stolen magical powers.

Dude with the tattoo on his face proved to be the most important. He went up and pummeled the giantess for around 5 minutes. After maybe 5 rounds the really tall lady collapsed and lost her face (literally). The heroine was saved, but then reality was lost.

The party of six people now fell through the floor and into the sky. That sure made alot of sense in written text. They fell into a flock of seagulls which then faded away sort of. I end up in a room with too much curtains. At the end of the hall is a sorceress, but then there were five of them. They fight me without hesitation.

This is a weirdest battle I've seen yet. Tall women constantly teleport in from nowhere. But then they only have about 1000HP each, and our friend with the tattoo on his face easily punches them to their untimely demise. The emo youngster sports a blade with a pistol handle, but I pretty much use the punching maniac for all my battles. Looking back now, this was
probably a bad idea.

At this point I should discuss what sort of stats I have on all my characters, as all RPG games should involve stats. This is disc 4, the final disc, mind you, yet all my characters are around level 11-13. That's right, I totally ignored the aspect of leveling up, and my
characters are hence ridiculously weak. How did I ever make it to disc 4?

Easy. Because in this game the enemies match your levels, so if I am ridiculously weak, chances are they are also pretty pathetic. At least I'd like to think so.

So then I battle an endless amount of tall women who don't speak but it is inferred that they don't find my presence enjoyable. The battlefield is also constantly changing from a forest to a city, to a beach, to an underground desert prison facility, and so on. Eventually the tall
women are replaced by tall women with more sophisticated clothing. After fighting about 5 of those, they all disappear and out comes a giant evil naga. She then proceeded to start a 5-turn countdown to who knows what. I waited to see what happens. At 0, the evil snake lady pulled
out the strongest magic spell in the book: Ultima. All my characters are fully healed so I wasn't too worried. At level 8, this evil spell did over 1000 to each character. This is the first time any boss ever did over 800 damage to any one of my characters with magic, and I guess I was surprised. But in the end the evil naga was no match for the knuckle sandwiches
served to her by tattoo boy with some side dishes in the form of magic from the other characters.

The naga dies and shatters while my people get teleported to a house near the beach. I go out to the beach which causes the entire scenery to screw up. Dead people pop up everywhere, and where the sea should be, in the distance, looms a gloomy castle filled with dangers and traps.
I foolish enter this evil place. Once inside, I find that all my powers have been "sealed" by various creatures lurking in this evil fortress of danger.

After walking around for five minutes, finding nothing, and finally returning to the entrance, I saw a pink sphinx creature at the top of the stairs that I didn't notice before. Dang, what a waste of time. I proceeded
to challenge this Egyptian Abomination. In the beginning this thing did an ice attack stupidly on the one person that I happen to have ice resistance with. After that it didn't move for
around 3 turns. Maybe because two of my characters get turns about every 3 seconds. After physically attacking this thing for a while, its face mask exploded and a woman's face is revealed behind it. However it is still evil and now summons helpers at will. The first time it summoned a kite looking thing with eyeballs which died in two hits. The second time it
summoned a skeleton that took 4 or 5 hits to kill. after that it gave up on summoning helpers and actually gave up altogether, and eventually it jumped off the mortal coil.

Defeating this thing gave me the ability to use magic. But alot of other stuff are still sealed, such as the punch barrages I've been using up to this point (called "limit break"), using items, saving the game (that's right, I can't save), and one thing called "resurrection". Now that
magic is opened up, I can now cure my wounds. Next I walk across a big room and up into a balcony. There is a crystalline-looking bird or something there. I challenge it without hesitation.

Quick scan reveals it to have around 6500 HP. That's piece of cake, but wait, it counterattacks everytime I attack it for about 300 each time. Physical attacks on this thing do not go over 100. Thus I had to use magic.
After around 10 Thundagas and other spells this thing casted a devastating ultima on everyone,which kill both my magic users (heroine in blue and the girl in yellow). It then shattered like the crystalline creature that it is and died in ear-shattering agony.
I chose to unseal the "limit break" so tattoo boy here can do major damage.

I find that I was unable to revive my dead people, because apparently the "resurrection" is sealed. Thus I stuck tattoo boy in a trio with cowboy and emo-dude. They went into the basement, which is stashed with gigantic wine barrels. At the bottom of the stairs is a dragon. The dragon apparently doesn't want me to steal his beer, and attacked me at once.

Dragon proved to be a pushover. Quick scan revealed it's "very weakness" to fire(prolly because it's drunk.) One strong fire spell knocked off 2/3 of its HP. After another weak fire spell, it countered with a
"mega spark" that did decent damage. However, it was tattoo boy's turn, and his barrage of punches quickly finished off this dragon. Like his friends before him, dragon shattered into pieces and allowed me to unseal something. I chose "resurrection".

I looked around a long time until I ended up in a room with paintings. I spent unnecessary time trying to figure out the "name of this painting" but gave up after a while. In the next room the door closed behind me and a key dangled from a statue in front of me. This suspicously seems like a trap.

I casually walk over to retrieve the key. That is when behind me teleported an obese armored red man even taller than that lady in the beginning of this passage. He sports a huge blade that seems red also. And he attacks.

Quick scan reveals this sucker to be at 30000HP, alot more than either of the last two nemeses. He taunts me saying that my spells won't work on him, as they tend to do less than 30 damage each. Again, tattoo boy pwns. He does a sort of slam move that does upwards to 7000 damage.
This should also be a cakewalk.

somewhere down the line red giant lost his sword. All he ever does pretty much is punch me. The punches are pretty pathetic. Cowboy has Demi listed as his first spell, so I randomly try it out. It does astounding damage, and plus the red fatboy begs me not to use it, please.
I ignore his pleas because he won't remove that annoyingly high defense he has, so he has no choice but to suffer an agonizingly slow and painful death. And that he did.

I exit this prison and go directly across, where at the end of the room a weak-looking face sticking out of the ground is there. I recognize this as a weak enemy from before, and proceed to challenge it without much forethought.

And I was right. I fight this weak enemy and wasted it in about 5 minutes. But then, the battle, end, it did not. The face sticks out of the ground and appeared torso and arms... a gigantic mummy I was looking at. And it is pissed.

First it does an evil staring move that prevents tattoo boy from using his trademark punchfest. Then it does some punching. AND THEN it casts Berserk on emo-boy, which forces emo-boy to only use his default physical attack. I have emo-boy as a magic user with no weapon upgrades, so he became useless. Even worse, the gigantic mummy counterattacks by twisting my man like a wet
towel, and that does upwards of 600 damage. That's bad. Then, unexpectedly, The giant prick invokes an earthquake on my sorry men. The cowboy and tattoo man didn't quite make it out of this quake alive. I am left with emo-boy, berserk. Eventually after wringing emo-boy about 6
or 7 times, he died, and Game Over appeared. I fail.

Now, if only I got to save first....

ENDNOTE: I definitely had this coming, you know. I was really just asking for trouble. Any sane person would have unlocked the save function right after getting magic, so to speak. I got a bit cocky with my level 11-13 characters, and in the end my arrogance paid off. I was humiliated by an opponent 10 times my size who used strategy. Now that boss, he was all brawn
and all brains. Not to mention I was boasting over how weak was that dragon guarding the beer barrels. However, do not lose faith. Now I know what to expect. Next time I'm going to get Berserk and silence guards for emo-man. I have done that in the past to deal with certain enemies who had totally neglected their dental hygiene. So, next time, I shall be ready...?

Prolly not.