Journals

Oh no, I've done it.

So, I watched a very specific video and this sentence can pretty much describe it:

I'm totally HORRIFIED.

I thought it was like the rest, but it's scarier than a lot of things. Or maybe because it's my first time actually watching something like that, I don't know!

But yeah, at first glance, it's really what everyone said about it! At least on a smaller scale.
I might watch it again, lol, but I hope not to.

Now you must be wondering what is this about. Well, guess what I watched, or explore a bit more. =)

This day came, the day when I played CS 1.6, in my school, with my rival (she always gets A's, lol), while my classmates were watching me.

It all came as an agreement between my class teacher and me. Basically, I was refusing to decide to go on the future school trip to Montenegro.
So, we made a compromise, and arranged this little "event".

In fact, this could be the best maths class ever! I wish there be more moments like this.

My classmates didn't believe me that I made the school map in 7th grade, so I showed them the actual map. (and I'm the only one in my school, lol)

Unfortunately, I cannot copy-paste the whole blog here because it would take too much time. It's 22:50 here, that's 10:50PM!
So, you can still read it here.

On the 23rd of February, 2002, my tiny village was surprised by something big: me!

I turned 15 today
One more year of living, but 1 year closer to my death, lol.

Also, I did my maths test today, I hope I'll get an A
And, here's a catchy Roki's song for the ones who like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j2DdvktKLc

I made a video. It's about me compiling a map on my laptop:

https://youtu.be/ewaI2SssatE

As you can see, this is what I deal with every day
Made with Sony Vegas 11 10.

Basically, this has been my entire life since 2015. This is why I really want to build my PC.

Turkish. Why Turkish?

I know, it's good to know as many as possible, but seriously, Turkish!? Here's the short story: (HEY! TL;DR at the bottom!)

Back in 6th grade, my classmates and I had to vote. We chose our 2nd foreign language. We could choose between Arabic, German and Turkish. 80% of them chose Turkish because they thought it was cool and good to know. The other 20% knew what's really good for us: German.

As it turned out, it was only good to know, nothing else. It's not cool, I don't like it that much.
It's quite limited sometimes, due to the lack of prepositions, and:

• It's SOV.

English is SVO, and verbs always go last in Turkish. Very inconvenient.
I'm not saying it's bad, I actually met a friend because of it.

I'm just saying it was a mistake. I mean, there are Turks in Germany, a lot of them.

Just like every other class did, my class should've chosen German. It's so much more useful, and easier than Turkish. Deutsch ist leicht Ich liebe.

And then, oh my God! Awful, it was just awful. I was rounding up C's and B's and sometimes an F in Turkish. I barely got it concluded with a B in 6th grade.

In 7th grade, I started out terribly, with an F. The old teacher was replaced by a new one. So, we were walking down the stairs, and us 2 had a discussion about my success in school. Darn, what a plot twist right there!

I was actually becoming better over time. Not just in Turkish, but every other subject. My GPA in 6th grade was 4.15, and in 7th grade it was 4.75. Massive plot twist.

Of course, that was my ex-crush's fault. I loved her so much I changed myself from the ground-up.

But I still didn't know the basics in Turkish. Especially numbers, colours, days and months. I was hiding that from everyone. I had A's in Turkish, but I was hiding my lack of knowledge.

Fast-forward to 9th grade, I am still getting A's in Turkish.
Since this is my last year in elementary school, I'll say goodbye to Turkish.

Why? Because we have German in high-school!
Yup, this last school year, and then I'm over with elementary school. Finally. Next stop: a gymnasium in Stolac

---

Ending words

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About the part with my former love, I actually danced waltz with her on Wednesday. I couldn't believe I was so close to her.

I am no more in love with her, because I have a beautiful, tall, imaginary girlfriend who is a fox-girl (therefore, she's literally furry). Better than nothing, I guess.
(I think I got the name right, waltz, we just say "valcer" (vaal-tser))

Regarding her (not the imaginary GF), I think we just need to hang out a little bit, because she is still "held back" by the 6th-grader me. I have changed ever since, she should know.

TL;DR
I ramble about how choosing Turkish (as a 2nd foreign) was a mistake. In high school I will have to learn German from start, although I can read it, and I know a bit of it.

And, here are the other ones I know:
Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian, Russian (malo i ploho) and Spanish (Y no hablo espanol). Turkish and German are already mentioned, and English is just so obvious.

And for you Turkish-speakers! I really apologize if I hurt you. Your language is really fun and interesting to learn. In Bosnian we have many Turkish words: karpuz - karpuza, yastik - jastuk (I know, it's the "soft I") and so on...

I just think it's not that useful in the EU countries as German. But hey, Turkish found me a friend (who is a mapper), so...

Announcing that I'm finishing my map, ts_untergrund.

Finally, after around 4 weeks, I have reached version Beta 9, and what's only left is:

-Minor VIS fixes (only a few skips and hints needed)
-Need more spawn points
-Need to extend view distance
-Minor button fixes (they're moving left, instead of going into the wall)
-Deletion of some CLIP brushes
-Adding some CLIP brushes
-Minor "displacement" terrain tweaks
-Some more things...

So yes, only small things. As of now, it has reached a phase called "unexpectedly very playable", entitled EarlyBeta9.

So, here are some screenshots:And that's it, discuss if you wish. I also require beta testers to test the map in a Half-Life mod called The Specialists (version 3.0).

The performance is surprisingly good, the least fps was 15fps on my crappy Intel GMA X3100 laptop, whose GPU is like only 2x stronger than the GeForce 256. And on average I've got 35fps.

This is my land:My land, "Admer-land". Land of tutorials, maps, and overall modding symphony. Heh, I love dead games, you can practice without anyone noticing. Actually, I've just written a giant, 2000 or 3000-word tutorial.

These pink outlines on the submissions mean that I submitted the submissions.

Now, with that out of the way, let's go to "Teh epik master plan: Part 2.5".

My bank account will be opened somewhere after bayram, a holiday in islam. Yes, I'm muslim, you jealous or something? No no no, pretend you didn't read that, I don't want to attract anybody's attention.

Now, when that happens, I will stop being a pirate, which I've been since 2010.

-Deleted lines of text-

Also, I finally, but finally reached an agreement with my parents. If I pass 9th grade with 11 A's or more, out of 14 subjects total, they will buy me the new parts for my 250$ gaming PC. Then, it's going to be 4 years of high school, and then what?

And the marks are going to be a piece of cake:
This year I had 12 A's and only 2 B's (maths and Bosnian, my native language). I find it weird how I get A's in physics, but B's and C's in maths.

I started making models, finally. And I even learned simple LUA scripting.

Right now, I'm making a test car, just to see how to properly set up a vehicle for CryEngine 1. Yes, CE1, you all know my laptop specs, so I don't need to tell you, that's why I use CE1, because Crysis just runs terribly at 5fps. The test car is a simple rectangular prism with wheels.

I took a break from GoldSource, a big one, to learn modeling, and tofinally start working on my Far Cry mod: Quest for Burek.

And here's how the VW Scirocco model used to look like:And now:(Now it has seats)

Goodbye GoldSource, I hope we will see each other again.
Never mind, I got back into GoldSource again, and in just 1 hour I put around 600 more brushes into a map of mine.

Hmm, one thing intrigues me.

People from poorer countries sometimes are more successful than people from first-world countries.

E.g. I started mapping when I was 12 and I'm progressing relatively well:That's a 14 year old's work, who lives in a village, with this trash.

Yes, terrible conditions, awful equipment, the country's state (which is 21 years post-war right now) all contribute to my work and make it better than something an average 16 year old (who lives on his own island, surrounded by 3 monitors, powered by 2 GTX 980s) would do.
That, of course, definitely doesn't mean that I am better than an experienced adult mapper. Sorry for the insanely long sentences, but I can't put all my thoughts into separate ones.

And, worst of all, I'm still waiting for the completion of "Teh epik master plan"! It's been around 3 months since I began waiting.

My parents think that buying from Steam (and the whole Internet) is full of scams.

It's very discouraging to know that almost all the games I paid for, are pirated copies burnt onto a DVD.

It didn't take me much time to discover that the games were cracked, thus I learned how to "crack" games, which is actually just replacing the game EXE and DLLs with changed ones.

I realized that by the multiplayer, which by the way, never worked.

It was my parents' fault. But hey, I can't blame them, they just want me to have a secure life, and they want to have secure bank accounts. (they think buying on Steam is a scam, because "prices are higher than the tag says so")

Here are some photos of most of the games my parents and I bought:

Except for "The Terminator", it's a movie, the only thing which isn't pirated.

Here's some more:

Now you can totally see how much I spent (around 120 BAM in total) on pirated games. But hey, it doesn't mean it's not worth the money, since I enjoyed playing these games, and they did make my latter childhood (from 8 to 11 years of age).

The only things, however, which weren't pirated were a copy of Tactical Ops, and a ton of PC Play magazine DVDs:

Just ignore the two on the top, they were there by accident. I still keep these for archiving purposes.

Impressive, by just looking at it:At first, I thought that my laptop had a...... something. But then, if it's what I think it is now, I will be able to plug in an external GPU!
Right now I'm thinking that it's an ExpressCard slot, because the manual of the laptop says that it has that slot.

Basically, using the slot, I could connect a good graphics card via a dock made for those. And, therefore, gaming would be a lot easier for me.

See, people dislike low-end laptops, like my Fujitsu S7210, which has:
-2 GB of RAM
-120 GB of HDD space
-an Intel T7500 CPU (with 2 cores at 2.4GHz)
-and worst of all, an integrated Intel X3100 GPU!

...thusly, the reasons to dislike are pretty obvious. But it can be upgraded

So yes, I hope that I'll someday plug an eGPU to my S7210, and enjoy playing Crysis (1) at 30 fps, also mentioning Far Cry (1), Half-Life 2, and Doom III, all three running at 60 fps. Those days are yet to come.

P.S. "Teh epik master plan Part 3: Moment of Truth" coming soon in 4k and 3D. 150 Limited-edition Blu-Ray copies, available at $59.99 on June 20th 2016.

My dreams are such that you'd think how I'm a crazy person. All of the dreams listed here were actually dreamt by me, so I'm not making this up.

To start off, I'll tell you how random they are:
It always happens, dreams shuffle and transform from one to another. I'm building a fence, and I suddenly become sucked in by a black hole (it was cold, and noisy in there). I'm in a castle, and then my brother chases me with an axe, while I'm on my bike. Some were dreamt twice, too.

It's weird. Totally. I mean, the greatest example of a weird dream is my dream when I dreamt how Tito (who was the leader of what used to be Yugoslavia) drove me through my village in a Zastava Yugo. The hills were cyan! And a famous folk singer was singing on the radio, too.

It gets weirder, as I once dreamt how I defeated my "follower of dreams". It was that guy from "The Darkest of Days" (good game, though). I found him in the canals (that airboat level from HL2) and threw a pair of scissors at him (yes, I dreamt of playing SMod, sort of). The scissors hit his neck, with blood splattering around it, and he became a ragdoll, and fell into the acid. I felt sorry for him when I woke up.

But, don't worry, there are happier ones, even if they are still 'dark'. Once, in a dream (of course), I was invited to a party organized by a person that I fell in love with 3.5 years ago. She'd never do that in real life! So, I drove a VW Golf through an abandoned city in a desert (similar to the map someone submitted a while ago). There was an earthquake, and a building collapsed, and the asphalt cracked, leaving the streets filled with holes. Instantly, I was teleported into Minecraft Alpha (because grass had that green colour), and an old man said "Go there." And he showed me a cave, which I had climbed into. Apparently, "she", nor anyone wasn't there. The lights were red, so was everything, except for the blue sofas and a power generator.

I went to exit the cave. But then, I saw her, and she saw me. Before I said her name, however, something pulled me down the stairs, and I hit them with my head, thus ending the dream.

Well, I once saw a giant, light blue moon in my dreams. It was so huge, it covered the whole horizon. I wanted to touch it, but it shrank, and changed colour to gray

But, luckily, I had 3 dreams about "her" in total, which are perfectly enough for good dreams, and I already told you one. I mean, who wouldn't dream about that cute, beautiful being? I already told too much, haven't I?

So, I told you something about my dreams, because only 1% of people have these, probably. I wonder if anyone else has similar dreams. I also find it weird how they are tightly related to the games I played.

"Teh epik master plan" Part II: The Research

Ah, hello, I haven't written here for a long time. So, for the unguided individuals, "teh epik master plan" is my plan to actually buy a game via Steam for the first time in my life, by opening a bank account and linking a debit card to my PayPal account. TL;DR is at the bottom!

Before commenting:

• First of all, I'm 14 years-old.
• Second of all, my parents won't borrow me their credit cards, hence the need of my own debit card.
• Third of all, I live in a second-world country, so we can't buy any Steam Wallet codes too.
• Fourth of all, I'm not poor, I am only unable to buy anything online for now.

Actually, we have the codes on some places, but a 5€ code is 16 BAM, for God's sake! And the EUR to BAM chart is 1€ = 1.98 BAM (approx.), so it should have been 9.9 BAM.

Alright, let us begin:

So, after 1 month of research, finally, I've decided in which bank to open an account, and they have a special account type just for teenagers like me! And, along with the bank account comes a debit card, using which the client can do, besides normal stuff, Internet shopping.

However, I'm uncertain whether I could buy something with a different currency, since we use BAM in Bosnia, and on Steam, there are Euros (€) for my region. So, this is the plan's question which will either kill it, or save it. Palaćinka! (Or 'блин!')

But, yes, if all goes well, I will inform you in 'Part 3: The moment of truth'.

If the plan works, however, I will:

-Finally buy some hats (in TF2) for my 5 year-old brother, and a copy of GMod for him
-Buy a copy of Call of Duty (either 2 or 3), in order to make some maps for it
-Buy a copy of Half-Life 2 (duuh, to make mods for it)
-Transfer some 'resources' to one of my friends' PayPal account, so he can buy Mount & Blade.

Of course, that will happen only if the plan works, and I'll buy games when the 'Summer Sales' hit. And, if it doesn't work, no worries! There's Fiverr, online surveys, and, of course, an app called Joy Rewards (because AppNana is poop, and I'm pretty close to the $5 PayPal gift card).

TL;DR: I did some research and found out about debit cards for teens, and I found a bank which offers "accepted-by-me" teenagers' accounts and debit cards. I'm only worried if I'm able to use currencies other than KM (a.k.a BAM).

And a message to other minors (people under 18) who are in a similar situation, use my plan if you wish to buy games, but your parents just won't allow you their credit cards.

"Teh epik master plan"!

"Teh epik master plan" is my own brilliant plan used to escape the cruelty and sadness of the F2P world. Sort of like Team Fortress 2's separation of P2P players and F2P players.

I am currently an F2P player if we forget the piracy (that's how I have Half-Life in the first place). And I became bored of it! Being F2P is poop! And a pirate...

Therefore, I developed one of my biggest plans of my life - "Teh epik master plan" a.k.a 'Operation Green'.

So, if you came to see the plan itself, here are the steps:

1. Create a bank account (mine will be a savings account, since I'm 14)

2. Create a PayPal account

3. Acquire some 'resources'

4. Link the debit card (or a credit card) to the PayPal account

(Optional)5. Validate the PayPal account

6. Buy a copy of Half-Life 2

Of course, I've only done step 2. However, what bothers me the most is how I have an OK amount of real cash, while I'm a hobo when it comes to virtual cash. Nevertheless, I am a genious!

So, I always thought (when I was 10) that putting 10 KM (BAM, a currency) in my DVD-ROM will actually buy me the game. Turns out that it wouldn't. But now my opinion is greatly changed:

2010 - putting money into a PC buys a game
2013 - using credit cards buys a game
2015 - using credit cards or PayPal can buy a game
2016 - using my plan I can buy a game

AND, from now on, I will only use torrents to test the games I buy!

I will inform you in another journal about this plan, and I'll tell you if it worked.

P.S. For you "Git a j0b m8" posters, I can't have a job because I'm 14 years-old.

It finally happened, at last!

I tried to make a map for Team Fortress 2 for the first time, and guess what:

On the 22nd of March 2016, I, at last, became a Source mapper! Finally, after so much trouble around getting Hammer to not show the 'default scheme not loaded' error, and then after finding the most stunning solution, I launched Hammer 4! It worked!

I immediately started browsing for the grass texture, and after going through many blend textures, I found one of the most generic ones used in Half-Life 2. I made a brush which was 512x512 units big in the top view, and, of course, I put the skybox correctly.

And I can freely say how one of my biggest wishes were accomplished, which is actually being proven by the fact that it's raining (at the time of writing). Therefore, I'll celebrate this exact day every year.

So, since I already knew some things about Source mapping even if I never mapped for it at all, I proceeded to put some displacements into my first map, which I had done. I inserted some player spawn entities, one for each of the teams (remember, Team Fortress 2), and I also included a wooden box into the map thanks to Source's beautiful func_physboxes. And then I compiled the map, but I, as you could have thought, forgot to include a light entity. But, despite my earlier experiences with the VHLT compilers (they leave it dark, no fullbright), I still knew that the map will be lit. Because Source's compiling tools are different.

And it was lit, it also had a wooden box whose properties I had edited before, so it wasn't made out of glass. The map was very tiny, but big enough to be playable. Sadly, it was bedtime already

I already knew so much about Source mapping, yet I had no experience in it! Well, that's all because of the tutorials on this site, and probably some YouTube ones there and there. I used to read them a lot, that's why I made the map without errors out of the first try, and it wasn't that empty, since it had a breakable (ugly, but breakable) wooden prism in it.

So, that might just start my 15th evolution (which only affects me). Yeah, I had 14 of them... the latest one happened in January 2016. And the one before that happened in the winter of 2014, when I just started mapping.

The problem with VHE turned out to be that I didn't launch it from the correct folder. I had to go to my Team Fortress 2 folder, and then into the "bin" folder. I found hammer.exe there. But I actually discovered that on my brother's laptop (my brother is 5, but he understands mapping and such), while I was trying to make a map for it for the last time. I used my brother's laptop because Team Fortress 2 was downloading on mine, so it wasn't installed yet. And my brother and I got entirely surprised how there weren't any errors when I clicked on File-->New... And then I saw the tip of the ice berg, it seemed to be too good to be true, but I did it, and now I'm unstoppable! I can't wait to play with the cubemaps, and that flashy normal mapping, oh, especially with the physics...

Of course, my ever-lasting quest still continues, as I've found a new goal to achieve. I only have 2 games left to make maps for, Half-Life 2 and Counter-Strike Source, and then, my quest will be almost complete.