Journal #8918
Posted 6 years ago2018-03-05 17:14:44 UTC
My grandma had died last Saturday night, the funeral was yesterday. Being a hard case of stoicism, I'd mostly emotionally coped with the loss, even though just yestrday I was about to break down and cry. Yet still, memories and thoughts remain and seemingly start to haunt me.
Three weeks ago when she was taken to hospital, I had decided to stop working on anything related with writing or development for some time, to let the steam off. But the more I tried to suppress creative processes ongoing in my mind, the more painful thoughts I received. In effect, I started writing a book, greatly changed and improved lore and setting of my game project and thought over concept arts and OST for it, and came up with numerous ideas for my Darkmod fan mission.
I've never been so moved, brooding and nostalgic, yet so motivated and ready to act in my entire life. As if creativity was the best way for me to cope with anything bad coming my way.
Three weeks ago when she was taken to hospital, I had decided to stop working on anything related with writing or development for some time, to let the steam off. But the more I tried to suppress creative processes ongoing in my mind, the more painful thoughts I received. In effect, I started writing a book, greatly changed and improved lore and setting of my game project and thought over concept arts and OST for it, and came up with numerous ideas for my Darkmod fan mission.
I've never been so moved, brooding and nostalgic, yet so motivated and ready to act in my entire life. As if creativity was the best way for me to cope with anything bad coming my way.
8 Comments
You must log in to post a comment. You can login or register a new account.
"I've never been so moved, brooding and nostalgic, yet so motivated and ready to act in my entire life. As if creativity was the best way for me to cope with anything bad coming my way."
Every time something bad happens, I guess we mostly either panic and/or get sad, or we act even better than before. I think it's one of those things that makes us human.
Here's to the best and doing your best.
I'm still yet to visit both their graves for one last chat anyways, I'm sure it'll feel similar to yours.
On the subject of your feelings, being at the absolute peak of an emotion, even a negative one, can often provide a severe jolt to the creative process. I've often found a need to do something when losing a loved one, just to keep busy, to keep going.
I've churned out maps, short stories and even a video or two. I'm not saying don't grieve, but don't squander the creative benefits. <3