The Threesome (no)

NO. Just no. Not the sexual kind. We'll get there one day, don't worry! This is my "three topics in one journal" threesome, lmao. So before I say anything more stupid: (and trust me, you'll read so much stupid here)

Topic no. 1.
Utopia at Stake. What is it? Why did I decide to do this and give it another chance after giving up in 2016?

It's two things, really. ADM and UAS. Together, they make the mod. ADM is its technical foundation, with the vehicle system, future FMOD implementation, some nice utility entities and much more. So much stuff to do for ADM alone. The plan is to release it to everyone. You can think of it as SoHL, but my way.
UAS is the mod's content itself. Story, characters, assets, you name it. It's the overall experience in the mod too. The feel, the atmosphere, the lore, the music... you name it.

One thing potentially worries some folks, but not me. The sole existence of furry characters in the mod. It'll have dragons too. Dragons are cool. People like dragons. But, people generally hate furries. You'll like my interpretation of them, at least.
People think the mod would backfire because of this, but let it be. Let it be a reflection of the society, which, ironically, the mod will also try to be a satire of.

Topic no. 2.
My projects.
So, one of my old maps, ts_untergrund, has been getting massively improved over the years, but I never released that final version. This summer, I will. Hopefully.
Also, my high school map, I guess my classmates have waited long enough. I'll try to push out a playable version in summer.
Plans are there for fun_kobbl, and eventually some others. We'll see.

Then I can work on UAS. And hey, I'm not alone this time. There's someone in the team. And that brings me to my 3rd topic.

Topic no. 3. (I think it'd be wise to skip this - read at your own risk of getting confused and stuff like that)
I am burning. Once again. It hurts so much, but it feels so good.
Remember all my telltales how a girl in 6th grade said "no" to me?
Well, here's a new one.
About 5 years ago, I was still like a fresh piece of wood. Never touched by the rain, never seen fire, just chopped off a tree. Then I... saw someone I really liked a lot. It ignited a fire in me. I burned. My heart first burned and it burned the most, then I burnt in entirety and there was a forest fire.
I burnt the people around me. I burnt down everything. My reputation, my behaviour, my relationships and friendships...
She stood there like an ice berg, and stayed an ice berg. This fire couldn't do a damn thing. Not even a drop of water from that ice.
I had burnt out. There was no hope... I was alone for years.
There were some sparks there and there, a candlelight even. But all that together was never as huge as the big fire I had back then. I myself turned into walking ice. But I still had that tiny fire inside, which had me going for the whole path.

So what happened?
Then, about 20 days ago, I met a seemingly fiery one. But... her fire was extinguishing, has been doing so for a year. Truly a state of crisis. I could not see that at first, until I got closer. But before it even happened, all the ice that piled up on me, it melted just by a single touch from the fiery one. It evaporated.
And I? That tiny fire inside of me was going crazy. It soon expanded and caught me entirely. It warmed me up at first, and then I realised...
...once wood is burnt out, there's a chance for charcoal.
And charcoal, oh boy. Charcoal burns even hotter. And I am BURNING, baby, to the third degree. Even more than I did the first time. YEE HAW!
I met the real life equivalent of Jody, guys. I'm too happy. Way too happy. Not gonna say much more though. I just want a good ending.
:3

And hey. I know I'm young. I've got 3/4 of life in front of me. I know this lovey dovey stuff will just fade away one day. I just want to have some fun while it's there. But, while I'm at it, I'll try to be as mature and serious as I can.

- This is the part you may scroll down to, if you skipped topic #3 -
And yes. It's 2 in the morning at my place.
Thank you for the bit of attention, and have a good day/night.

P.S. Eeeeh, I forgot about the few competitions I've been in. Might write about them in 2 weeks...