First Day

Posted 2 years ago2022-10-02 10:35:00 UTC
Nspy45 Nspy45Afraid of Windows not Monsters
Hi. This is the First Time Wrote Or Type Journal On TWHL. So I'm doing this because there are things that make my feelings emotional when I Experience Of My Life as Modder by people who are full of hate. I even have a slightly unstable mentality that makes me hate myself and have a lot of emotions when my parents see me as a stable person but I'm afraid to tell my parents That I'm Having Mental Issue While I Having Difficult Communicate With My Family. I Also Almost No Life... I'm just Staring at My laptop And My Smartphone Everyday And I'm still Do Online School Until These Days Which Is Inactive Sadly. If I moved another schools, I will definitely get bullied until I become Anti-Social. Because Getting Bullied Just Fucking Change My Life Until Someone Viewed Me As Autistic Person, My parents were often called to school almost every year when I was in elementary school.I have a lot of problems with my knowledge, my attitude, and my socialize. My Teacher Just Trying to Manipulate Me They Even Not Give me The Education Book After Finished On Toilet, They even embarrassed my parents when I needed Soap On the Toilet Then My Friends Are Trying to Harassing me By Pushing Me Into The Hole Full of Black Mud Well Luckily I Already Jumped. So My Family Change Elementary Schools But Again Sadly I'm Getting Bullied But I Have 2 Best Friends Now That Sometimes Always Hangout Together. Unfortunately 1 Friend Change schools. So I only Have 1 Friend That Actually Counter-Strike 1.6 Player And Another Friend Which Is Change Schools Was Roblox Player That's Why I Hangout With Them. after advancing to 7th Class I mean Middle School Now My Family Went Onto Some Not Ordinary School Where Students Mostly Focus on Talents Rather Than Focus on Education Knowledge Like Any Other Shitty Schools Do. But The School Still Has Education Knowledge Well That's Fine I Guess That's Important For Students Then The Worst of The Year Comes in Where The Goddamn Virus Called COVID-19 Spread Across the Worldwide And Schools Are Lockdown. We Need to do Online School on Any Device And This Is The First Ever I got Fucking Isolated By Fricking Lockdown Because of COVID-19 Even now I'm still isolated Although The Virus Already Weakening in worldwide. Then Why I'm still Isolated? that's because my family moved around the island Cuz my father has a job as a boss there. Then The Island Was Kinda Have Terrible Society But I Think Mostly on Traffic I Guess...Then The Schools Welp many Teenage Kids are fighting there in various schools. They Even Stealing Other Neighbors Property And Throwing Rock On Our House They Even Do Street racing In Front of Our House Which Is Really Horrible Things In My Life (But I think Not Really) So My Parents Afraid Moved to That's School Since It Already has a Issues. Then I cannot Anything Besides Playing Video Games With Toxic Communities such as Roblox Or Sven Co-op Or Even Any Type Shitty Multiplayer Games It's Just Boring, Concerning,And Depressing at Same Time I don't have a money to buy games (I Have But I just don't know How to Make Them Digital Currency btw I Hate Money) It's Not Fun Until My Friend Sending The Message About game Called Hotline Maimi He said "It's discount" and tried to Gift me Hotline maimi but I refuses so I Asked Him Just Gifted Me Half-life. Because It's Cheaper I don't want my Friend Wasting Too Much on His Money So He Gifted me for the sake of Nostalgia (When I was a 5 y.o) So This Journey Would Begun If I Having Relation Issue With Some People Here...

3 Comments

Commented 2 years ago2022-10-03 09:06:45 UTC Comment #104826
Stop Typing Like This, Please. It Is Incorrect. Your text is very hard to read because of that.

I hope your life situation improves. I can relate, I had really bad classmates in primary school and was bullied a lot in 6th grade. 7th grade onward had less bullying, but my classmates made every day an inconvenience because it was fun to them.

But if I learned one thing, it's that life is like a wave. It goes up and down. And from what I can tell, you've been going down quite a bit, which only means one thing: it's about to go up.
Commented 2 years ago2022-10-03 09:45:03 UTC Comment #104827
I'm sure a lot of people here can relate to your primary school experience. Don't worry, it gets better :)

Big change for me at that age was finding more hobbies I could share with people outside the digital space. A lot of cool things already have great and welcoming communities around them. For me it was indoor climbing - something I still do today 15-20 years later! Maybe it's sport or music or theatre or chess or painting or woodwork or sailing - or anything! Having at least one thing separate from your digital life and your school life can be hugely beneficial.
Commented 2 years ago2022-10-11 16:18:07 UTC Comment #104841
Being a teen is hard enough, and being an autistic teen makes that exponentially more difficult.

Sorry you're stuck in such a hard place now. I agree with everyone else that things will be brighter.

I had to fight my way through middle school, and I am a doctor and a pilot now. There's hope for you yet.

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