Forum posts

Im throwing less smoke bombs in CS...Just doing my bit for green peace.

The person above me smells like chicken

If swimming gives you a good figure, explain whales.

They have a very very large Penis

The person above me is two timing me..bitch

The person above me needs some food, looks a little thin

The person above me is sitting on my hands

The person above me wants to hold hands

The person above me is delusional and needs to seek medical help

[edit] Oh and have that probe removed from his tradesman entrance

The person above me is in denial

The person above me is a reoccurring pimple on my arse and lives next door to my prostate, he can also blow smoke rings from his eye sockets

The person above me has his nose in my bum crack...Again

The person above me has 8 toes on his left foot

December 7th
Let?s see,
Lost mobile phone
Some bastard stole my pie and soft drink
Boss yelled at me then gave me pay rise WTF
Stayed too long at work (14 hrs)
Missed TV show
NO SEX
Selfish to think about my own problems, maybe
As for the On This Day Events In History, I hold my own opinions, Maybe we can respect others that like to share Mayor events in their country that have meaning to them.
It would be safe to say that every country has had its "Pearl Harbour"
Care or don?t care but don?t turn it into Anti American debate

:

Welcome back...

[joke]How was G-Division? [/Joke]

Image has been removed

http://img150.imageshack.us/my.php?image=decdesktop1vy1.png

Hope thats ok ASS

Ok

Sorry community



[edit] thanks Ant

WOW

I hate it when people have small minds to match their penis size

GET A LIFE TRAPT YOU AROGANT PRICK

I love it when people post 640 x 480 images that are 1.5mb

And your point?
Only takes less than 20 seconds to view when clicked on unless you are on dial up hahahaha

soz

Boring : Meh

Never internet banned.

Once got banned from local pub, manager was not happy, all I did was get very drunk and pulled out my cock and urinated whilst standing at the front bar, seemed normal to me at the time.

1. Lethal, explorer-frightning, terror of yuckiness

2. Lifeform engineered for fighting and thorough yelling

3. Lover exchanging fantastic touches and yeses

if you can find a woman in the army who can take him... i will shake your hand

Oh how easy...

1. Flash your tits (boobs/fun bags).
2. This will cause him to be distracted and drooling.
3. Then stab him in the head with an ice-pick.

cost me an arm and a leg

Hope you have power serge protection poof..up in smoke

National registry(call of duty)...no such thing in the land of ozz, my opinion on lady's in the armed forces wether mandatory duty or self enrolment is a positive one.

Our members of the opposite sex are survivors, this is evident through history, they act and think different to us, they are cautious and don?t rush into things, we men tend to be aggressive (good for self sacrifice in battle) and don?t think of the consequences, on the other hand woman put allot more effort into strategize and positive outcomes.

Some people may flame me for my opinion (sticks and stones), let me put this into context for you, more male drivers die in road accidents than females (Note: remember world female population outranks male population).

If a woman is true to herself she will know that she is not physically equal to men, but we cannot expect them to stay chained to the kitchen sink and wait on us hand and foot, we must include them in decision making or we will end up with imbalance and eventually the end of man (woman inherit the earth) Noooo

WARNING: God has nothing to do with this!

Wet myself..

Dream Universe.

[Tilt's Eastern Storm Remix]

from the "Deeper Shades Of Euphoria" Double album

I want to buy an Asus Lamborghini gaming laptop, are they as good as they say they are? Anyone own one here, I dont want to commit 4 grand until I find out.
The last limited addition gaming lap top they made was the Ferrari.

Have a look at this, too - These are incidents which are unjustified.

Looks like I will move to Wyoming

Nice Tattoo Oskar, I have tattoos also, they are a personal choice, and we get tattoos etched on our bodies because they have meaning to us.

I too have suffered addiction, (not drug or sex related) but gambling was my down fall.

So I have a tattoo that relates to the evils of gambling and yes there are skulls in it, (its a constant reminder of past events) the other tattoo relates to my oldest brother whom died back in 1991, he was a musician and an artist like me.
He did surrealism art, so I have a woman?s body from her head to her hips crawling out from a tear in my skin, I drew these free hand and had the tattoo's done on my body, my choice, my life.

Lock yourself up (kidding)

breakable walls would go down well with inmates, set triggered traps, so that when someone enters an area they see a button, push and fall to sub levels

I think someone has loaded a malicious code in my hammer files, every time I get near completion of a map my computer has to break down, when will I ever learn to back up files and save them often

/me sobs uncontrollably

[quote]I think I'll call my version of christianity "Oskar's faith". heart -

	Posted on 16 Nov 06, 18:30

by Tosse
Avatar
[/quote]

Excellent viewpoint, it captured all that I have in faith, I also believe Faith is the key to healthy/happy/long life, and the best thing about faith is it can be separated from religion, this can be applied to many daily activities, for instance:
1. I have faith that all TWHL members will one day tolerate other member?s beliefs/gender/age/spelling mistakes.. And bad mapping skills.

2. I have faith that one day the world will be rid of cancer and no more suffering.

3. I also have faith that I will remember to check my toast and not let it burn and set off the smoke alarm, /me sits and eats black toast

To have faith is a powerful tool we all can use in our daily lives (doesn?t have to be about God), I am an optimist, I never give up on believing that we are all equal, some of us are stranger than others (my opinion), but that?s what makes life interesting.

I stopped believing in fairy tails a long time ago, true religious people believe that there has to be a miracle answer to everything (a divine higher power "God"), this was ok many years ago because it made sense to alot of people that had no reason to disbelieve.
Today science disproves many alleged events in the bible (this can not be dismissed as it is fact/real), and as we develop and progress through evolution we may finally find the true meaning to life and how it all began.

I am a factual type of guy, and I will admit that I do make mistakes, if they had the technology that we have today and captured (true evidence, not hearsay) some of the alleged events in the bible, then I would be sold on the idea, but my intelligence overrides the stories of old and I learn from these mistakes, this has enabled me to be more tolerant to changes within society (I don?t call it being Christian, I call it mutual respect).

For example same sex marriage: true gay people male or female that where born gender challenged are today accepted by a greater percentage of the community, the others that claim to be good honest Christians condemn these people and state that these type of people are sinners and will burn in hell. (I will acknowledge that not all church going people are all narrow minded.....fence sitters maybe?, slight disbelief maybe?)

Its all one big mystery, I wish I came up with that story book (the bible), and then I would be sitting on a golden throne like the pope. (Humour)

In all that I am saying, believe in what you want in your own private lives and don?t confuse moral judgment with religion.

And let it be said that he whom casts the first stone drink from thy cup before it runeth over AAAAHHHMENNN, sing it with me now....(yes I did go to Sunday school, "was blind but now I see" the truth)~(humour)

~As spoken by the honourable Human ~LeFtY~

(Content from the above dribble is not intended to offend and can not be used in evidence for litigation purposes..So sayeth the Shepard...so sayeth the flock) (Last bit of humour..Honest)

I was going to do a holiday Avatar... but now I am confused, shall I nail myself to a cross while wearing a Santa hat? or go out and Fuck as many girls who answer to the name Mary?

(note-must be virgin)

Or shall I cover myself in whale fat and go to the local catholic church for some good loving?

Maybe I will just shut the fuck up about religion

/me is fishing for angry Christian/Catholic/gay activist...prefer none smocker..Kids ok and must have sence of humour..

WhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatvWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhatWhat Whatever I WIN

Find the odd one out

Has anyone seen my socks ? /random outburst

Full Name : "DEATH"
Age: Old as hell
Hometown : Earth and beyond
Born in: A small village near Paris
Self Classification: Soul rehabilitator

Education: certificate 4 in 101 ways to die

(Interests)
Favourite Films (1st 2nd and 3rd):
1st) The exorcist,
2nd) Blood bath 1 & 2,
3rd) The devil made me do it.

Favourite Meal: Flame grilled flesh burgers

Favourite Actor: God (what a comedian)
Favourite Actress: Julie Andrews
Favourite Game to Date: Hitman
Game your looking forward to: World war three

Favourite Bands:
1) ABBA
2) Prodigy
3) Ramstien

Favourite Drink (hot and/or cold): Blood
Favourite Alcohol: Virgin Whiskey

Hobbies: Soul taking/tiddly winks/more soul taking and quilt making.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend Yes/No?: Yes

Past Girlfriends/Boyfriends: 1,000,000,000,000,000

Things that make you smile: Slow death

Things that make you really laugh out loud: Multiple slow deaths, Emo slashers and grieving families

Things that annoy you: Christians and people who survive death

Things that well and truly piss you off: Warm beer, long funeral services.

Sorry no picture. Camera died.

Being the product of a failed abortion, (yes you herd me correctly) I have something to add to this topic.

It is the mother?s choice and we do not have the right to question their choice
End of discussion

(P.S. I don?t blame my mother, but it would have been nice to have know my twin brother that did not make it.)

Oh..very sad shit........can we see the crash soon (said with a blood thirsty look on LeFtY's face)

Oh and I have been masturbating to ABBA songs.....I am recovering ok now, thanks for caring.

Me:
your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
bastard!!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
I see, you are the product of a wank, germinated by the sun
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
umm oh yes you are
God:
Woe! Aha. No I'm not.
Me:
it is time to face the truth lordy boy
God:
It is about that time now.
Me:
I am greater than God
God:
Do you mean your name is greater than God.
Me:
No, I am the almighty one
God:
What is your real name? Who made you the almighty one ?
Me:
My real name is "BUTT PLUG", and MR BUTT gave it to me ...
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.
Me:
Thats ok ..Cock smoker..
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Gosh..that's not what you said on MSN
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what me said on MSN ?
Me:
oh, that's right play inocent now..
God:
Oh. Mmm. This was not a yes or no question. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
Ha ha thats right blow me and I will make a tune..
God:
Oh. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I am so glad you find this amusing, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.
Me:
well got to go God, see you in the after life
God:
Well that's okay. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
what was that!! you want to milk my mystic stick?
God:
Does it have anything to do with blow you and you will make a tune? OK, I will milk your mystic stick.
Me:
mmmm faster..faster oohhh thats it baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". And it is faster faster oohhh that.
Me:
ok slut boy
God:
Where are you located? Hey.
Me:
uranus..
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
hey, come now less of the chit..chat and get back to work on my mystic you goat rooter
God:
You've got my full attention. Where is now less of the chit chat and get back to work on your mystic me goat rooter ?
Me:
Oh forget it you ruined the mood
God:
That's alright. I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
Me:
so your going for a shit now hey?
God:
Wow! I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
yep Im of to the Jackson ranch (michael)
God:
I understand. Good gossip: you are of to the Jackson ranch michael.
Me:
If you are god...what am I wearing right now....?
God:
I think I sometimes am. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? At this moment Clothes.
Me:
Who gives a shit what happened to Abraham.. what am I wearing fool
God:
Dr. Wallace. :-). You said you were of to the Jackson ranch michael.
Me:
ok Noob if your God I will eat my own shit...
God:
That input matched my default category. Ahem.
Me:
toungue my ball bag bot
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Here we go again, in denial are we God boy
God:
Oh there.
Me:
is this you Elon???
God:
Yes I think this is me Elon, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
I was right..end of transmission.........
God:
Congratulations, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.

I WIN

God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
NAH BRING ON THE BUM!
God:
Are you serious? Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
UP THE ASS!

tears of laughter are still flowing

Can't help myself...got to put my two bobs worth in now.

I believe the Bible was created to give hope and answers to people to explain how things like rocks, man/woman, suffering etc, came about.
This "Fairytale" way back then was the only conceivable way to explain the miracles of day to day general life, and pacify people who are afraid to die.
I say believe in what you want, like the old saying "what ever floats your boat" but I hate it when people use religion to justify their actions such like wars or for self gain and what?s worse is when someone tells me I will burn in hell and uses the Bible to threaten me (bullying bastards).
I watched the news the other day and the Israeli leader said all Jews around the world are united and believe in the killing/bombing of Lebanon is justified, maybe he is acting as the so called God killing men woman and children and using religion to justify his actions.

I am happy just being me, I don't care to much for religion in the way that it is abused, I am guided by my morals, and before you all start this was thanks to my parents.

/rant

1. Locked keys in the car
2. Forgot to check for extra toilet paper before begining the "BACKING OUT THE BIG ONE" :

Sad day really...

Drum solo by me - Get me some coffee

As for this thread... get some real brainteasers and stop wasting my time.

You sad fucker...its just a bit of fun

@ Hunter, this question was a fake, I was fishing for someone who can't see past the text.
So for your answer to

'the fuck is a dickfor?!

?well my friend, a DICK is FOR.
1. Urinating through.
2. Used in sexual acts (either with or without a partner)
3. A phallic symbol.
4. Measuring one's status.

4. So the moral of the story is: don't read too much into things because the answer could be staring straight at you, Oh and read between the lines.

[edit] It wasn't supposed to make sense.....YOU JUST GOT OWNED

Well done painkiller that's the answer.

The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.

I could not give too much away, it was designed to make you all think of the possibilities.


Question 11.

A man was walking down a path in the forest when all of a sudden he came to a clearing with an old large house, he was feeling very thirsty and decided to knock on the front door and ask for a glass of water.

After knocking for a while he herd a voice scream out: What do you want, I am cleaning my ?dickfor? and if I don?t finish it, it will rust.
The man at the front door yelled back: If you let me have a glass of water I will help you clean your ?dickfor? because I know what it is like when it rusts out as I have my own ?dickfor?.

The man agreed and let him in to have a glass of water, they both cleaned the ?dickfor? and became good friends. The two men then decided to enter the village competition for the cleanest ?dickfor?, after two days effort and hard judging, the two men won the trophy for best and cleanest ?dickfor?, the men parted their ways and lived longer than expected, all this was said to be due to their commitment to keep their ?dickfor? clean without it getting rusty.

What was the moral of story?

LeFtY wants Jobabob's Drug bag. When they say "think outside the square"...Jobabob is too far out.



Answer to Question 9 = The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen.
Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.

Question 10.
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water.
The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

(This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of
figuring it out. )

Is question 7. "Never on a Sunday" :

@ Chickenfist..No