Boy (and respective men) you better belive this is one of the DAMN HARDEST things you could ever do.

About 20 minuets ago from this post I broke up with my girlfriend. This was for one reason mainly in that she was going to be spending a lot of time away at university and it would form somthing like a "long distance relationship". Somthing which in my experiance never work...

I desperatly tried to break up with her in the best way where she doesnt run off crying or she doesnt storm out angry... for the most part I failed.

She cried a little (holding back most of it from what I could see) as I talked about how I didnt think it would work, but how I didnt want to upset her, and how there is a lot of shit going on in my life and having a 'LDR' would not help things on my end. I tried my best to comfort her, reasuring her that it wasnt about her, wasnt about stuff that had happened that morning (sex) wasnt in any way her fault or somthing wrong with her, it was just that... well, I honestly felt it wasnt going to work, and rather than stay with her longer (increasing the ammout of pain when we did break up) I decided to do the only honourable thing. I broke up with her, as tenderfootedly as possible.

Of course, it went anything but smoothly, and I would just like to ask everyone else on here if any of their relationships broke up 'peacefully'. I doubt there has ever been a relationship that has broken up in the 'perfect' way, but I would just like to hear other people experiances to try and gain some sort of idea on how bad this one went.

She walked out not turning back to say goodbye, crying slightly. I know that she will now go home and cry more, and that makes me feel REALLY bad. The last thing I wanted to do, my absolute priority was not to upset her, and I failed.

It's inevitable that she'll be sad, you shouldn't feel bad about it. You shouldn't be in a relationship if you don't want it 100%, it just won't work.

Breaking up with someone isn't easy, but sometimes it's only right thing to do.

and I would just like to ask everyone else on here if any of their relationships broke up 'peacefully'

I slapped her and said "I'm ditching you bitch!". No, just kidding.

She walked out not turning back to say goodbye, crying slightly. I know that she will now go home and cry more, and that makes me feel REALLY bad. The last thing I wanted to do, my absolute priority was not to upset her, and I failed.

How long your relationship was? :

"long distance relationship". Somthing which in my experiance never work...

There is always a first time. If she really love you and you really love her it might work.

My mother for over then 30 years is a good freind of a women of her age. They send letters to each other and they are still good freinds contrary to the distence between them. I met my mother's freind only once, so you can imagne how rearly they meet.

6 simple words -

"I'm not gay, but i'll learn"

I remember some of my breakups. One was particularly hard because I knew she cared for me a great deal. However, I just didn't like her romantically, despite my best effort at trying.

It was a pathetic way to break up with her, but I wrote her a letter, and handed it to her after our last date. This way, I figure I save her the embarassment if she needed to cry out loud. But mostly, I was just too chicken to do it in person. I didn't want to see her cry.

Another girl was hard too, but she just wouldn't let go. Even after I broke up with her in person, she wuold come back over and over, dropping by my apartment unannounced. Technically, I had two stalkers in my life, and she was one of them. The other one was far more traumatic for me. It was a nurse I dated back in residency.

Who said geeks can't get the girls?

Geeks with good jobs get girls.

Anyway, I've never really had a "pretty" break-up... once one of my girlfriends broke up with me after like two weeks but luckily she was really dumb (why she went out with me, probably... haha!) so when I had Nickelplate/Ant tell her things like "Oh, he really misses you" and all that, she believed it, so then she felt really crappy, like REALLY crappy.

(sex)

Yaaaaaaaaaaa....

oh, there was more to that post. hmm.

what you do is you don't satify in anyway. no dates, no phone calls, no hot monkey secxz.

then she'll go "I think we should break up" in some words and you just go.

'lo, thats cool'

and she'll be all WTF and walk out on you with no remorse

But that method makes you look like a loser.

luckily she was really dumb (why she went out with me, probably... haha!) so when I had Nickelplate/Ant tell her things like "Oh, he really misses you"

omg irclady?

Saribous: sage. Sage.

A week ago i got dumped by my girlfriend...

She didn't even give me an excuse..

Hurt appaulingly, especially since i really felt we getting on amazingly and that she was so beautiful... <sigh>

Still not over it...

I can't even remember my ex's name. Good, eh? Nor her 'phone number, finally. I have such an annoying memory for figures :).

Ow, I'm sorry to hear that, Tycell... I see now why you had to quit so firmly...

I've had a girlfriend once, about 4 years ago. When I look back at it now, I think we were both too young for it all, as I think the relationship was mostly based on butterflies. Well, perhaps not mostly or such, as we had a relationship for 10 months, but I think I've let myself get blinded by it.

She had a troubled background, but had become a christian about a year before we met. Things were improving, but she had still difficulties with her past. I cared for her and wanted to help her, and she felt the same for me. We had a great time together, even though we lived about a 100 km. from each other - we would only meet twice or so per month. I used to call her on her mobile phone ($$) and we wrote letters often. Yeah, we were so in love...
We have never even kissed each other and my friends used to laugh at me by walking next to each other with 2 m. space in between, but I don't regret never having done so. I believe it would only have made things harder.

Her situation at home became more and more hostile towards church, and perhaps the stress got too much for her? I don't know. Anyway, she started to make some questionable decisions, which I think weren't the wisest. But, we continued, and it seemed to go fairly well. At some point, she decided to step out of church. I don't know why, I don't know what exactly drove her to that point, or what exactly she did choose for by doing so. I really hope she's still saved and right with God...

Obviously, that caused a difficult situation. I don't want to marry a girl who's not on one line (more or less) with me about God, but at that point I also didn't want to loose her. We broke up more or less, but I couldn't get her out of my mind, I think for several months. At some point she briefly got back into church. I was in Florence at that moment with school, and (stupid as I was, I think now ;)) I bought a ring for her there. We would never see each other again though so that ring is still with me, waiting for a girl that does fit.

Anyway, it wasn't a smooth breakup, not something I'd like to do again. I would ask my friends for advise more next time, and try to keep the butterflies down while focussing on checking whether or not it fits, and also pick a girl who believes in God more firmly.
The long-distance aspect of it wasn't so much the problem here - it has it's disadvantages but maybe also it's advantages, but that depends on the situation itself I think. I think I just based too much on this girl. Well, some lessons are learned a hard way...
Note that a relationship isn't a quick thing for me - it's looking whether or not you can get along fine, and then deciding to either split up, or marry.

My girlfriend broke up with me a few hours ago, I feel severely depressed inside, I'm just trying to occupy myself with other things.

sigh

I also thought as if we were getting on pretty well. We weren't that bad.

It was all down to a 'trust' argument we had a few days ago, she said that changed her perspective.

Oh yeah, Seventh, phone numbers... lemme see... ow, I still remember it, though vaguely. The tunes I used to hear while calling still stick to my head sometimes...

Man... this thread has actually ruined a really good day for me.. Totally not your fault, Tycell... Its just, i hadn't even thought about it today, and now i cant stop...

Relationships go deeper than we think when we still have them, yeah... one of my best friends died last week and was buried today. Man, it seems only then you know who you miss. I'm so glad God is there for us to help us through when we need it... and that He provides good times too.

Saribous: sage. Sage.

Thank you... I think

sage

adj
1: having wisdom that comes with age and experience
2: of the gray-green color of sage leaves

Sorry to hear that Tycell and the rest of you unlucky people.
I've never had to break up with anyone, or been broken up with really.
I imagine it would be hard, more so getting broken up with I guess.

And CP, I am sorry to hear that, I am not sure whether you got my PM a few days ago..?

Yes, I received yours. Sorry I didn't reply - I've written a new journal entry now in which I said thanks, perhaps it would've been better to reply immediatly by PM. Well, thanks again.

I must say that if Tycell broke up with his girlfriend solely based on the long distance aspect, then he must not have been that into her.

My parents got engaged over the Pacific Ocean. My mom was in New York when my dad proposed to her from Taiwan, on opposite ends of the planet.

My brother dated his girlfriend (now wife) for twelve years, and they lived in different states (over 2000 km away).

When I first started dating my wife, she was in Montreal (I live in California). That's about 3000 miles away. We emailed each other for four months before even meeting for the first time.

After our first date, I knew I was going to marry her.

Love is a funny thing. If it's meant to be, no amount of distance could keep the two apart.

so when I had Nickelplate/Ant tell her things like "Oh, he really misses you"

Oh yes, I'm evil.

Kinda sick of women these days. I'm just glad there's still some really nice girls out there that I've met through Uni. It's a breath of sweet sweet air I tells you!

Cute chicks never fail to brighten my day.

And they feature in most of my maps.

Easter eggs in maps ftw.

And they feature in most of my maps.

...and I think you have great taste in women, Kasperg.

I broke up with my GF a long time ago... I notice that I have lots more money and fun these days.

I notice that I have lots more money

Haha.

Haha, yea, I suppose there is that.

Its ok now though, on the same day (a few hours after the break up) she invited me over to her house, me her and her mate Kelly watched 'The Crow' and sat and talked, so I think she is over it. She seemed much calmer and accepting when I saw her. She must still feel bad about it but I think she is ok with it now. She also appolagised for slamming the phone down on me, so all is good.

Peace reigns in my world again. Although the long distance problem was my main concern there were other aspects to it all that I dont really want to talk about here. Needless to say I dont think it would of worked.

Ah well, at least now it is done and dusted and everything is ok with everyone concerned. Thanks for all your input guys, although it didnt really help, it gave me a broader view on the whole situation.

Good news indeed.

That's good to hear. Luckily a first reaction isn't always the final reaction.

I'm always afraid to get into a relationship with anyone who is Christian, usally they don't like me that much when they find out I'm atheist...

You must live in a very strange place.
Unless you actually tell them how proud you are of being an atheist... I bet it would upset them.
I usually dont care if people are believers or non-believers. What counts is your actions. They say who you really are.

I used to date just anyone, but then I decided that I'd only date Christians so there would not be so many arguments all the time.

About being invited over.... Uh, dude, that's her trying to kill you. Notice your popcorn tasted a bit like rat poison?

I am so glad that my wife is non-religious too. Otherwise, I would hate it if I had to go to the church every week.

My brother, however, married a Mormon. He used to be an atheist as well, but now he's converted to please her. If that ain't love, I don't know what is.

My lady is even more religious than I, if you can beleive that. lol

I converted to scientology for my husband tom

I'm always afraid to get into a relationship with anyone who is Christian, usally they don't like me that much when they find out I'm atheist...

I don't date Christians either

Or anybody else!! Hahahaha, zing. But seriously, it's awkward to date someone who differs from you politically/religiously because people take their personal beliefs too seriously.

They end up becoming character traits. Beliefs, that is.

I converted to scientology for my husband tom

Mmm, organs.

Holy shit.

!

BRRAAAAAIIINNNZZZ

yeah, hugh, I dated a really liberal girl who was talking about how women can reproduce without men and how they are better and men all need to die. And i was like "WTF are you doing dating a guy then? You're lucky we even let you vote." We were together for all of, ohh.... 2 days.

so you now have a nice gf who is essentially a dopemined housewife

Well, sort of. Except for the dopamine and the housewife part. but she IS nice. She just doesn't go off on women's rights all the time, and she's not a slut. She can think for herself and she's not all... subservient. She's just not a bitch like most of the "invincible females, hear-them-roar" that I've dated in the past.

A real man is so much better than a dildo.

For one thing, dildo usually doesn't come with a pair of arms to hold you.

MOST don't.

Dildo's last forever, I don't know about your penis but mine's biodegradeable.

I'm surprised by the insensetivity of some people, I was asked earlier today if I want to be set-up, maybe it's just me who's a slow mover but I'm not gonna date someone-else the day after a pretty serious relationship.

PS, don't date devout christian women.

wow. that sucks.

a least she didn't frag you tycell. that'd be embarassing.