Provoke the Fire (Story) Created 17 years ago2007-02-12 15:02:39 UTC by Rimrook Rimrook

Created 17 years ago2007-02-12 15:02:39 UTC by Rimrook Rimrook

Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 15:02:39 UTC Post #212281
I wrote this for class and it turned out rather well. 'tis a good read. I hope I corrected all of the typos. :
[i]Provoke the Fire[/i]
?No. . . hell no. . . What?s that beeping sound? It can?t be. . .? Ben slid the sheets from his face and rolled his head over to look at the clock. It read an excruciating three fifty-nine. His phone was lying next to it and it was ringing. Ben buried his head into the pillow and stretched out to answer it. He put it to his ear and answered. ?Mmwufft.? The commissioner?s voice came over the phone.
?Get up, agent. You have an assignment.? Ben looks at the clock again.  Its reads four o?clock.  He turns over and yawns, drinks water from glass on the night stand and rises up to stretch. He held the phone to his ear and used the bathroom, keeping the commissioner still on the line. He returns to sit on his bed and looks at the clock.  It read four-o-four. He sighed and replied.
?Speeeeeak. . . ? The sound of paperwork came through on the phone. The commissioner read from a file.
?At one o?clock this morning, a disturbance was reported in south Hathon City. Locals claim to have seen a large and destructive creature. The authorities and security forces are struggling to find and neutralize the threat. No deaths have been reported thus far, but if it gets out of control, the situation can get hairy. I want you to go to Hathon City and investigate. If you find this thing, kill it.? Ben snickered.
?That?s the fun part. Assignment understood. Is there anything out of the ordinary I should know about that would help neutralize the situation? Any evidence of an element Water? Earth? That kind of stuff?? The commissioner searched through more paper work for a moment before he replied.
?No, we have no documentation of that sort.? The commissioner stated as he closed the file. Ben confirmed,
?I guess I?ll be on my way then. I?ll report back in twenty-four hours.? Ben hangs up and turns on the lamp near his clock. The light blazes his eyes and squints at the pale yellow glow that illuminates the messy room. He stands and wades passed clothing and suitcases and opens up his wardrobe then looks inside and only finds hangers. Next he turns his head to the floor, and grabs a pair of pants and pulls them on. Leaping over a mound of socks, he picks up two that match and slides them over his feet, being near the floor anyway, he opened a drawer and retrieved two Armlets then slapped one on his right wrist and the nano-technology engaged.  signed in with a password and slapped the other on his left wrist. A diagnostic on available arms and munitions on a floating holographic interface. There it listed his weaponry as he pulled a shirt on over head, over his arms and the hologram. He looked at the screen for a second and waded again over to his cabinet where he opened it up to a wealth of artillery and firepower, finely alphabetized and organized. Secondly, he browsed through to a box of twelve millimeter pistol rounds, then opened the box and inserted them into a clip. Grabbing an extra clip that was previously loaded its was inserted into a corresponding sidearm. He did this twice and cocked the hammer back on both of them, clicked the safety off and laid one of the guns to his left Armlet. The nano-technology absorbed the matter into the arm band and stored it for later use. He did so for his right arm as well. He exited the room yanking his shoes onto his feet and flipped a light switch on his way out into the hallway.
He emerged into the light of the television from the living room. He passed by his daughter Marine, on the couch barely awake as usual.
?Good morning.? She groaned in a raspy and worn voice. In an equally raspy and worn voice, Ben replied.
?You should get some sleep,? He turned into the kitchen and the light came on. ?Or a hobby,? He opened the refrigerator and noticed all of the energy drinks. He grabbed two of the energy drinks and stuck one into his left Armlet. ?Or a boyfriend,? He returned to the living room and cracked the drink open. Marine rolled over and stared blankly at him. Her face was young but her eyes were ringed with grief and exhaustion.
?You know as well as I do that I can?t sleep, and haven?t slept for the past four months.? Ben reached down from the back of the couch and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled at him and faced the television again. Ben chugged the drink down and set it on the end-table next to the couch, right by Marine?s head. He made his way out the door.
?...or a job.? Ben noted as he left the building. Marine chuckled at the unlikely comment.
Ben arrived via shuttles at the landing zone in south Hathon City. The police and special weapons? teams were already deployed and covering the area. Much of the population was evacuated previously for minimal casualties. The shuttle door flipped open as the craft neared the ground. Grunts jumped from it and assumed formations. Ben exited and started commanding.
?Stenan, your with the 505 and Elbat. No one?s with me so Jyson and Golden, you got mobile.? The local police Sargent approached Ben and introduced himself.
?Arnold Wilicor, Hathon law enforcement.? He showed his badge to Ben as he did the same.
?Ben Edgarmac, Orbital Operations. Is a perimeter set up?? Wilicor nodded.
?We have a five-mile radius sectioned off. We haven?t seen any activity since one o?clock this morning. We might have missed it and it moved off some place, we?re not sure.? Ben rolled his eyes and sighed.
?Most creatures sleep, ever hear of that?? Wilicor gave him a sarcastic raise of the eyebrow.  Ben started a scan on his left Armlet and returned to the Sargent. ?My men will reinforce your?s since they know more than us at the moment.? Another man approached and met Ben and Wilicor.
?Are you from Orbital?? Ben nodded at him as he continued. ?The name is Wodnie, and I?m the investigator on the scene. You should come with me.?
Wodnie explained while he and Ben crossed under the crime scene tape. This apartment building is where the disturbance started.?  Ben observed the destruction. He leaned over a gaping hole the had collapsed in the floor. Torn furniture fell in as well as bits of the ceiling. Ben looked up see the next floor had be expanded apart in an upward fashion, like a large object came from the ground and impaled one outer wall and a half of the building.
?That?s not all,? the investigator called as he walked over the rubble. There was a Chalk drawing on the tile of the kitchen. ?This victim was impaled through the heart with something sharp and perfectly round, much like this.? Wodnie looked through a hole that was carved into the corner between.  It was a perfect circle. ?We found similar holes and the same cause of death on three other victims.? Ben looked back at the hole and the fallen apart ceilings. He noticed it did not damage the roof, then walked up the stairs to the next level and studied the damage from above. The upper ceiling and roof were untouched, but a series of perfect circles impaled and destroyed much of the furniture and the wall to a bedroom. He looked behind the wall with the holes and found blood on it and the floor beneath it. ?Well its not a bomb of any sort.? The investigator continued. ?No scorch marks, and bombs don?t go up and curve in two separate directions.? Ben looked across the gap to the other side of the hole. There was another bedroom with holes only around the doorway.
?What do you suppose is over there?? Ben asked. Wodnie sighed and responded.
?Because of the gaping hole in the floor, we can?t get over there yet. Probably just another victim, but we can?t be sure, can we?.? Ben went to the edge of the hole. He looked down at a thirteen-foot drop and shrugged. He took a step back and leapt across the gap to the forbidden room. He looks inside the room. It was a very plain bedroom with minimal furniture. A bed, nights stand, desk and chair, that?s it. Ben stepped around  a sheet that was rolled up on the floor, he examined the bed but didn?t find any traces of blood. He  looked to the rolled sheet.
?Find anything?? The investigator yelled to ask. Ben grabbed the sheet and slowly rolled it out. It was just a clean sheet.
?Nope.? Ben yelled back. He looked around the room again and found a diary on the desk. He opened it and flipped through the numerous pages to the last entry and read.
?My date was incredible, more than incredible! He took me flying over the seas, took me over to far off lands for exotic cuisine and music, it was an experience I will never forget! To top it off, we made the sweetest love ever right in my own bed, no one would ever believe that I had made hot love with Cosmon. . . ? Ben closed the book and looked at the sheet in disgust. He places the diary back in its place on the desk and left the room.
?What?s over there?? The investigator asked.
?No victim, no blood, found a diary, nothing special but a hot date and sex.? The investigator put a hand to his forehead.
?I give up.? Ben smiled.
?Ok. This is what I think. I have intel that it was a creature. As mentioned by some witnesses. It came out of the ground and killed everyone with some tentacles or something, then whoever was in this room over here was just taken, probably not killed.?  Ben stepped to and stood on the threshold of the gap in the floor and looked down. ?You suppose it hasn?t moved anywhere? There hasn?t been any reported activity since.? The investigator shrugged at the comment. Ben hopped from the edge and landed on a partly destroyed couch cushion in the bottom of the hole. He knelt down close and scanned it with his armlet. Nothing came up on the hologram display except a minor harmonic frequency. He amplified the sound, at first it was static but it homed in on the sound. It was the sound of a young lady crying. ?There?s someone down here! Dig her out!? Ben started clawing at the dirt with his fingers, paddling it away when a tongue lashed out and wrapped around his Armlet. Immediately he withdrew a sidearm from his left Armlet and shot the tongue in half. The dead part around his arm fell limp and squirmed on the ground as he backed off. Ben got the hell out of the hole and stood back, looking down at the wiggling tongue as it patiently died. He sighed and shook his head.
?What the hell was that thing?? Wodnie questioned with wide-open eyes.
?It?s a worm.? Ben shook the saliva from his right Armlet and noticed the sun was peeking over the horizon. ?Heh, its morning.? The sun crept up just like the vibrations on the ground. Tremors rattled the area and shook the look debris of the destroyed home. Everyone stood still as a statue as the shaking of the ground lessened to a halt. Ben pulled up his scanner to track the seismic activity. Quietly he radioed. ?Hostile is on the move heading east bound traveling underground at twenty miles an hour, use extreme caution this is also a hostage situation, repeat, use extreme caution. Try and  save a life today.? Ben made hand signals to the investigator and the surrounding teams to head back as he pursued the worm.
He tracked it to an airport on the far side of the perimeter, it stopped there and hasn?t move again for some time. The port was already evacuated and all flights rerouted long before the worm had made its way here. Ben followed the blip on his scanner, turning left and right down several of the terminals. He was getting close and made one last right turn. He heard a sound and he recognized that sound. Its was the unique sound of someone teleporting, and only one person teleports with that sound.
?Its over here.? Cosmon exclaimed. Ben turned around and looked at his scan. He put his arm down and cocked his head back a bit.
?Haven?t you made things worse enough? You know this happens every single time you pick up a new girlfriend.? Ben walked up to the four-foot wonder and looked down. He looked up with his nerdy glasses and short blonde hair, and long ears that seem to never suit well with his appearance, or perhaps made him look even more like a dork. Even though his green and gold robe was nice, it just doesn?t work for him.
?What? Mortal women are so hot though, and besides, if she dies she is sent to me anyway, then we can be together until I get bored.? Ben shook his head.
?No, aren?t you forgetting that we?re dealing with a worm here? One that consumes souls, and everyone it gets, it gets another tongue?? He complained. Cosmon chuckled and added.
?Are we now??
?Yes! I?ve studied these creatures before.? Ben exclaimed, ?It still has your girlfriend in its mouth too! Don?t you care?? Cosmon ponders for a moment and replies.
?Ya?know, the sex wasn?t that great, I?ve had better. The whole worm thing, that?s not my fault at all.? Cosmon chuckles. Ben looks angrily down at him.
?Yes it is, you dick!? Frustrated and shaking his head, Ben begins flipping through his arsenal on an Armlet.
?Well, its tea time, good luck with that.? The midget teleports away to his place in another plain of existence. Ben continues to shake his head as he toggles a Ground Hog.
?I?m going to deck him in the face next time I see him.? He muttered as the ground rocket assembles in front of him and fires downward into the floor and beneath the ground. Ben steps back as it burrows deep, smacking the worm in the face. It groaned a prehistoric roar and the rocket exploded. Dirt and dust fluttered from the hole, followed by the worm itself. Its beak tore through the carpet and floor rotating and drilling its way up. It roared again and dozens of tongues spewed out from between its three jaws. He stood less than a foot away from the thick outter hull, plated with fused and polished dirt. It stopped with one of three eyes facing Ben.  It opened to expose a fiery orange pupil focus on him. He waved at it and pulled a knife from his belt and thrust it deep into the center of the eye.  Ben left the knife in the deep in the eye socket as it screamed in agony. Its tongues lashed out at him as he walked slowly backwards and withdrew his two sidearms from his Armlets. He began firing at the individual tongues that came for him, quickly firing and killing about twenty of its tongues. The monster retreated into the floor as the knife cleaved deeper in the eye as it dug in the ground. Ben began tracking it, racing after it and followed it out to an airstrip, just outside the previous terminal. It broke through the pavement like a whale through water, up thirty feet and leaned over to slam down on the runway, cracking it to pieces. It opened its mouth and Ben aimed to kill, but bound on the inside of its mouth. She was sticky with saliva and in a daze from rattling around.
?Hey!? Ben yelled ?Hey! Wake up!? She snapped out of it and looked up to him.
?Ah! Help me! Aauugh!? The tongues that bound her tightened. Ben ran forward and began shooting out the tongues that had a firm grip on her. More whipped out and wrapped around Ben?s arm he continued to fire upon the worms mouth. A lucky shot loosened her bindings and she fell to the bottom of the mouth just before the sharp edge of the knife. She writhed her hand free and grabbed the sharp edge. Ben fired an accurate bullet to dig into the soft flesh and collide with the hilt of the knife, punching it upward and looser. He fired another shot and he grabs a hold of it. She slashed frantically at her feet and arm to free herself. She struggled and dragged herself from the mouth over the worm?s beak. Ben reached forward, and pulled her from the beast. He thought he had her, but a new set of tongues reaches for her leg and rebound her, dragging the young lady across the pavement back into the mouth. Ben stepped back to defend himself. The worm raised its head with the girl in its mouth. She was heavily bound while crying and screaming for her life. With several of its tongues wrapped around her face and forehead, she was force sideways, shattering her neck and ending her struggle. Ben stared horrified, and stopped shooting. She receded down into her dark grave inside the worm, and was swallowed. All of the tongues detached themselves from their base and fell to the ground, lifeless and dead, catching flame and burning into ash as the worm crept back down the hole from which it came. Heat escaped from the opening and radiated out. In a radius around the, the pavement heated up and became iridescent and glowed a vivid orange in the morning sun. The tunnel melted shut and a pillar of molten rock slowly rose up and roughly formed a six-foot human figure. The excess lava dripped and burned off of the figure, leaving behind a man in shiny worm-scaled armor. He illuminated with heat and fell to his knees.
?Too much for you to handle?? Ben asked the elemental as he looked up at him from a distance. He had three eyes, the third on his forehead, but the right eye was wounded and scarred over.
?I am Mavwron and I feel the power and it burns so brightly within me.? He rose from the ground chuckling, almost giggling with power. He stood straight. ?You?re weapons won?t save you from my fire, unlike my tongues.? Ben put his sidearms back into the armlets and cracked his knuckles.
?Okay, lets do this the old school way.? The elemental raised a hand and shot a blast of fire from his palm. Ben motions his hand and conjures a blade of air, cutting through the fire and impacting on the elemental, knocking him back a few steps. Ben is surprised that he is so weak. The elemental regained his balance.
?Wind only provokes the fire.? He raised his hand again to try another shot.
?That?s nice.? Ben leaps forward in a horizontal whirlwind, tripping the elemental and getting behind him. Mavwron catches himself with a hand and springs up and swings a punch in Ben?s gut,  flinching for a moment but retaliating quickly with a knee to the chin and a firm kick in the torso. Gasping for air, Ben got his wind back and throw a rush of it at the elemental. Mavwron countered with his own fire and overcomes the attack. Ben rolls out of the path of the wave and summons a special weapon from an Armlet. The diamond blue steel frosted over and the weapon mounted itself  around his arm. He aimed quickly and thick line of frigid energy. The ice beam was nearly dodged but it grazed Mavwron on the shoulder, turning his flesh into pure ice. It weakened him as the heat of his body melted the ice and blood seeped from the edges. The weapon has to take time to warm up before it can fire again. Ben stood up and dashed into combat with the ice weapon on his arm. Swinging it like a club, Mavwron blocked it with a shield of fire, but this only warmed the weapon faster. Ben clubbed again, busting through the fire shield and snaring it into the elemental?s hands. They turned white and cooled as Mavwron began to overpower Ben. A quick burst of wind smashed into the elemental?s cheek, he let go of the frigid weapon, and was smashed right in the gut with the barrel of the ray and fired. A cylinder of ice replaced the spot where his stomach was. Mavwron fell to the ground, stunned and severely weakened by the ice so close to his core. Ben stood over him, and aimed the ray at his face and pulled out a lighter. He light it and held the flame to one of the warming nodes on the ray gun.
?Hmm, isn?t this ironic.? Ben stated sarcastically.  Mavwron took the chance and exploded the flame into a fireball, encompassing the weapon in flames. Ben whipped his arm away from the fire and at just the right moment, the weapon was warm enough to fire a third time. He places the lighter back into his pocket and knelt down beside the elemental. He placed the barrel over his face, enclosing his nose and mouth in it. ?I like this part the best. Not only you get to die for killing people and pissing me off.  I get to say something really cliche and cheesy.? Ben grins and leans in closer. ?Thanks for the light.? He pulls the trigger. The beam freezes his entire head, leaving behind nothing but a perfect ice statue of his face. Ben stood up and got on the radio. ?Threat has been neutralized. All divisions at ease.? He took a few steps toward the terminal and turned toward the body. Emerging from it came a spark that radiated some heat.  It was Mavwron?s soul, so little and puny. Ben almost laughed at the insignificance of it, but deep within the body a second spirit arose. It was bright and fiery as the sunrise.  It was the spirit of the girl. She was elegant and radiant with the new found potency. Her presence scared off the spark and cast light onto the runway like a beacon. She turned to Ben in the nude, and smiled at him and shown a charming look. Her eyes were humble and inviting, and she quickly was surprised, and then flickered away in flames. Cosmon teleported in behind Ben.
?Oh, she doesn?t like me, but man, she really does like you!? Ben walked promptly toward him and delivered a fist to his jaw. ?Aaah! What was that for??
?Explanation now.?
?Right, I know that I shouldn?t have sex with mortal women because my seed is a valuable source of power. I honestly thought that she would be safe if I got her pregnant, and I did.? Ben slapped his forehead.
?How did you become a god in the first place, you?re so irresponsible!? Cosmon stepped in close.
?Hey! I was a single geek for twenty years before I earned this position. I have some right to some loving.? Ben rolled his eyes and argued.
?You were a geek for twenty years before you accidently blew yourself up in a science lab, just so happens to get a load of power and assumed the position of a god for the past eight thousand years. You are careless!? Ben?s point was made. Cosmon sighed and went on.
?Either way, you still got the girl.?
?She died.? Ben blankly stated as he withdrew the second energy drink from his left Armlet.
?Yeah I know.? Cosmon went on ?You freed her from being fully consumed by the worm. That?s all that matters. The twist is that she adapted the fire element to herself in the process, as well as my the power of my seed, and the new life force growing within her. She is completely reborn anew and is potentially the most powerful fire elemental out there right now, and she is totally hot for you! No pun intended.? Ben finished his drink and just nodded to agree. Cosmon continued. ?Besides, you handle worms really well. I think you knew how to defeat them from a previous time, perhaps?? Ben crumpled up the can with his hands.
?Oh yeah.? He said sarcastically. ?I kill worms all the time before breakfast.?
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 15:09:41 UTC Post #212283
WHAT. (<-ownage)

ill continue reading later but i noticed that you switched times in the beginning. ill post my overall reaction later
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 15:09:47 UTC Post #212284
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 17:36:53 UTC Post #212295
aight i read it. Not bad. What got me a bit was the constant switching of times. You jump from present to past from sentence to sentence lol. Also try to avoid slang when you describe something. slangs fine in speech, but dont use it any other time. k

keep up the good work =D

good idea orph
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 19:40:49 UTC Post #212317
there was a thread like that a while ago, but it always goes under for some reason, or no one really posted.

I only posted this because its for class and it doesn't contain vivid sexual themes. I'm still cleaning it up tho, as its due in two weeks. Criticism is taking constructively.

In the end, i'll be reading an auditory version so you lazy bums don't have to read it, but i gotta fix the lumps in it first.
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 20:56:36 UTC Post #212321
It's rather good. It reminds me something but I can't put my finger on it... Oh yes, it reminded me of the real ghostbusters, going out in the middle of the night to someplace that strange activities where reported there earlier.
But it is more similar to a game then a story, it could make a nice game.
It also reminds me of the stories I used to write when I was a boy, same simplcity that so well fits computer games.
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 21:02:18 UTC Post #212322
well, kinda close with the game idea.

The main character is from a game series I made a while back, but it was so unrealistically unpopular with exotic ideas that no one really followed. Maybe now-a-days people might like it.

problem is that after 6D, its either Turnstile or Planet X. I can't do both because they're too similar but follow by slightly different stories.

...or maybe I'll do neither and try something new.
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 21:58:15 UTC Post #212326
User posted image
4 sers
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 22:13:35 UTC Post #212327
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 22:44:41 UTC Post #212333
It was a dark and stormy night
Original.
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-12 23:20:30 UTC Post #212339
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-13 00:04:00 UTC Post #212341
yeah, dark and stormy is cliche. just describe what time it is, how dark it is, and how bad its storming, and even thrown in how the train interacts with the weather, and where its going. Then describe the scene. perhaps why our character is there in that scene if its plausible.

I'm trying not to be a writing nazi, and its hard to post a decent format in the forums, even mine was screwt.

not a bad read though, got some good things going there.
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-02-13 00:22:05 UTC Post #212343
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