Clever Insults Created 20 years ago2004-10-28 07:41:45 UTC by Unbreakable

When it comes to I.Q. points, you lose them every time you go to the bathroom.

You're so stupid, If you had a brain you'd take it out and play with it.

You couldn't find water if you were washing your hands, after you fell out of a boat

If you're mother and father got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?

you is so skinny, you could hang glide on a Dorito.

You're so tight, you squeak when you walk.

...Well guys lets see what you got.


Nothing Intentional... Got it!

You're such a virgin, you think an erection is for pissing over high walls.

Haha

I heard this..

Your mama's so fat when she walked past the TV I missed The Olympics..

Man walked into a bar....

Ouch...

Sorry guys... I had too...hahahahaa

You will die alone since you are a brain dead teletubbie rubbing brute who is obsessed with the sniveling brute and the evil peach cobbler.

You suck the dirt off your toes, you mutilated mildew gulping hag who beats the screwy penis and the cross-dressing scary-ass-texan.

Go jump off a bridge, you mindless inbred hag who services the necropheliac hobo and the annoying vat of vomit.

You will marry a feeble-minded naked scary-ass-texan who sucks on the worthless disease and the dirty gang banger.

I AM THE MASTER

[b]I AM THE MASTER

-BATER[/b]

lol

A good intelligent insult to someone less intelligent is ... wait for it ... "7". They will be extremely confused.

Hey MkT.. "7"

"Fucktard".

Easily the best "clever insult" ever concieved.
Although I did like the "If you're mother and father got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?".

"Fucktard" - a personal favourite of mine

Theres also "I wish cancer you you." Which works much better if you keep staring silently untill the person leaves.

Two deers were out flying and one of them had a donut in his eye.
The other deer said to him, "Why do you have a donut in your eye?"
The first one responded with "What? I can't hear what you're saying, I have a donut in my eye"

Chokes

* PaLO stares at Anonymous
"I wish cancer on you"
* PaLO stares at Anonymous

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed...

[quote]I wish cancer on you"

• PaLO stares at Anonymous[/quote]

i wish sanity on you...

Sanity is for nerds.

nerds are for beating

then your not welcome here.

wishes leaveanceness on anonymous

"Uhm, can I ask something?"

"Well, can you?"

To yappy girls....

Go home, with any luck Ian Huntley will run you a nice bath.

Your so stupid, if brains were gasoline, you wouldnt have enough to power an ants motorcycle around an outside of a penny.

Haha.

You ask for my input, you got it:

your -

A few clowns short of a circus

A few fries short of a Happy Meal

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity

A few beers short of a six-pack

A few peas short of a casserole

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl

One taco short of a combination plate

A few feathers short of a whole duck

All foam, no beer

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

Has an I.Q. of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber that they appear

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel

Too much yardage between the goalposts

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

As smart as bait

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash

Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair

Elevator doesn't go to the top floor

Forgot to pay his brain bill

Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels

His belt doesn't go through all the loops

If he had another brain, it would be lonley

No grain in the silo

Proof that evolution can go in reverse

Receiver is off the hook

Several nuts short of a full pouch

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

And finnally, my personnal favorite,

<insert Drumrole>

The wheel's turning, but the hampster's dead

/spelling

*hamster

And those werent clever.

They were...
Yet again Bratty comes up with the goods.

I didnt really see the cleverness.

Something like:
Bill: My website is xxx.com! haha
Luke: Oh i see you. Your under the gay section. Are you the one bottom?

That is what i think is clever. or snappy.

Heres the ultimate insult:

you...suck....

TA DA!

ultimate? or very, very simple and worthless. yet snappy!

I didnt really see the cleverness.

I'm going to staple that to your head, ieatmonkeychow. It pretty much sums you up.

You don't need that much... more like "What?" on a post-it.

wow!!!!!
krazy!!!!
nuts!!!
out of control!!
Physco!
and last but not last

If i had a $5.00 every time you had a thought i would be in the hole.

you lost your virgenity when you found a cheese grader.

your like gum "fun for the first 5 min then your used and abused".

your mom is so fat she was having sex and it took 24 hours for the man to find the pussy!!!

Go home, with any luck Ian Huntley will run you a nice bath

• LOL, classic, and I will be using that

The wheel's turning, but the hamster's dead

-ROFL, you know that's the funniest shizzle since Anonymous said:

i wish sanity on you...

..and no-one really cared.

It's dead.

You lost.

you...suck....

No wonder people hate you, you're a sweaty loincloth chomping hag who serves the flea-bitten aboriginal abortionist and the Ricky Martin loving snob. ...classic

Chances are your best friend is a imprudent masturbating festering sputum bag from hell who slobbers on the portly phlegm and the naked bat out of hell.

You are a skanky boner.

Everybody thinks you are a imperialist retarded hobo who devours the apish ape and the loud turkey brain.

Yo momma's

so drippy she beats the illiterate crackhead.

so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side.".
so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras..

Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.. My fav.

Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks..

There, now you must agree...

I AM CANADIAN

oops I mean THE MASTER
(joking)

u scrotum face pigme

LOL, this really is one of the worst threads I've seen for a while

truly spam-worthy

Yo mam's so ugly I broke her nose and she gave me a 5 dollar bill for my time.

hahaha, nice.

Heres one...

Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear".

so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side.".

That was pretty good.

thanks, seventh.

You didn't make that shizzle up!

I heard that lil' fella on some Negro Comedy Film!

!

lol, yeah, that was one of my faves, but this one does it for me LOL:

Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks..

R0fl

My insult still stands as being the best easily.

You're so desperate, you reply more than once on a thread like this.

Why insult others mothers?

Right in-there-face slamming is a more entertaining for the person saying it, although, those are hilarious "Yo mama" jokes, lol.

I'll just write all the slam in yo face stuff I can think of right now that doesn't require the person to say something, although I am tired, so they might be bad, bad meaning unfunny:

You look like the south end of a horse going north.

uh, oh, that sign says "11 ton limit", you gotta get out and walk.

don't hate me because I'm half your weight!

You look like John Kerry

Just cause you're more stupid than me doesn't make you more blissful, so shut up your laughing, cause all I said was "you can fit through there easy!"

Don't even ask if that dress makes you look fat, it won't alter my opinion.

You're clothes are like the cylander packages of dough you get at the store, when you open it a little, the dough pops out.

Thank God your not ugly.

You sure you want seconds, cause you look full to me.

When you say "Work the streets", I hope you mean construction worker, cause if not, you're wasting your time.

I know why you're never in the spotlight, its too small to fit all of you.

If you fell over, would you bounce?

You know how to loose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

I see you're on the seafood diet, when you see food, you eat it.

Your back hurts? does your face hurt? cause Its killing me.

You want a match? My ass and your face.

You're such a brown noser you qualify as a tapeworm.

(To fat person)
Now I see where they hid the WMDs!

Is this seat taken, cause I don't think anyone will want to sit here.

You are like a stick of butter, slimy, yellow, and full of lipids.

Alright, I know I ruined my reputation posting these, but hey, its better than nothing.

You look like John Kerry

You look like Dubya

You know how to loose 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

That one's really nasty

How about:

Your so fat, you jumped up and got stuck

It may not be funny to you, but whenever i hear that i crack up. Only becasue, why the hell would you get stuck?!