Bushism Created 19 years ago2005-01-25 20:54:44 UTC by Jahzel

"Put The Off Button On."

"Our Priorities Is Our Faith."

"It's Your Money. You Paid For It."

"I Think War Is A Dangerous Place."

"I Don't Need To Be Subliminabable."

"I'm A Follower Of American Politics."

"I Think We Agree- The Past Is Over."

"I'm The Master Of Low Expectations."

"For NASA, Space Is Still A High Priority."

"They Have Miscalculated Me As A Leader."

"I Am A Pitbull On The Pantleg Of Opportunity."

"This Foreign Policy Stuff Is A Little Frustrating."

"I Understand Small Business Growth. I Was One."

"Welcome To Mrs. Bush And My Fellow Astronauts."

"The French Don't Have A Word For 'Entrepreneur'."

"It's Clearly A Budget. It's Got A Lot Of Numbers In It"

"Will The Highways On The Internet Become More Few?"

"We Need An Energy Bill That Encourages Consumption."

"In My Sentences I Go Where No Man Has Gone Before."

"I Am A Person Who Recognises The Fallacy Of Humans."

"Rarely Is The Question Asked: Is Our Children Learning?"

"Sometimes When I Sleep At Night I Think Of 'Hop On Pop'."

"Iran Would Be Dangerous If They Have A Nuclear Weapon."

"I Know The Human Being And Fish Can Coexist Peacefully."

"The Indians And The Paki's Should Learn To Live In Peace."

"I Know How Hard It Is For You To Put Food On Your Family."

"We Are Ready For Any Unforeseen Event That May Not Occur"

"I Hope You Leave Here And Walk Out And Say, 'What Did He Say?'"

"Families Is Where Our Nation Finds Hope, Where Wings Take Dream."

"It's A World Of Madmen And Uncertainty And Potential Mental Losses."

"We're Going To Have The Best Educated American People In The World"

"Low Voter Turnout Is An Indication Of Fewer People Going To The Polls."

"Sure, I Know About Europe. I've Seen The TV Shows. I'm A Fan, Definite."

"The Most Important Job Is Not To Be Governor, Or First Lady In My Case."

''I Had No Idea We Had So Many Weapons ... What Do We Need Them For?''

"A Dictatorship Would Be A Hell Of A Lot Easier, There's No Question About It."

"If Affirmative Action Means What I Just Described What I'm For, Then I'm For It."

"We're Concerned About AIDS Inside Our White House- Make No Mistake About It."

"It's No Exaggeration To Say That The Undecideds Could Go One Way Or Another."

"The Point Is, This Is A Way To Help Inoculate Me About What Has Come And Is Coming."

"One Of The Great Things About Books Is, Sometimes There Are Some Fantastic Pictures."

"A Surplus Means There'll Be Money Left Over. Otherwise, It Wouldn't Be Called A Surplus."

"Like You, I Have Been Disgraced About What I've Seen On TV That Took Place In Prison."

"I Wish I Wasn't The War President. Who In The Heck Wants To Be A War President? I Don't."

"We Cannot Let Terriers And Rogue Nations Hold This Nation Hostile Or Hold Our Allies Hostile.''

"I Mentioned Early On That I Recognise There Are Hurdles, And We're Going To Achieve Those Hurdles."

"I'm Honored To Shake The Hand Of A Brave Iraqi Citizen Who Had His Hand Cut Off By Saddam Hussein."

"Let Me Put It To You Bluntly. In A Changing World, We Want More People To Have Control Over Your Own Life."

"Our Enemies Are Innovative And Resourceful - And So Are We. They Never Stop Thinking About New Ways To Harm Our Country And Our People - And Neither Do We."

"I Do Not Believe We Have Put A Guilty- I Mean Innocent- Person To Death In The State Of Texas."

"God Loves You, And I Love You. And You Can Count On Both Of Us As A Powerful Message That People Who Wonder About Their Future Can Hear."

"It Is Clear Our Nation Is Reliant Upon Big Foreign Oil. More And More Of Our Imports Are Coming From Overseas."

"They Said This Issue Wouldn't Resignate With The People. They've Been Proved Wrong, It Does Resignate."

"We're Going To Have A White House Forum There In Washington, D.C., Obviously- That's Where The White House Is ..."

"First, Let Me Make It Very Clear, Poor People Aren't Necessarily Killers. Just Because You Happen To Be Not Rich Doesn't Mean You're Willing To Kill."

"We Spent A Lot Of Time Talking About Africa, As We Should. Africa Is A Nation That Suffers From Incredible Disease."

"For Every Fatal Shooting, There Were Roughly Three Non-Fatal Shootings. And, Folks, This Is Unacceptable In America. It's Just Unacceptable. And We're Going To Do Something About It."

"Natural Gas Is Hemispheric. I Like To Call It Hemispheric In Nature Because It Is A Product That We Can Find In Our Neighbourhoods."

"We Ended The Rule Of One Of History's Worst Tyrants, And In So Doing, We Not Only Freed The American People, We Made Our Own People More Secure."

"I Want To Thank The Astronauts Who Are With Us, The Courageous Spacial Entrepreneurs Who Set Such A Wonderful Example For The Young Of Our Country."

"This Is Preservation Month. I Appreciate Preservation. It's What You Do When You Run For President. You Gotta Preserve."

"The War On Terror Involves Saddam Hussein Because Of The Nature Of Saddam Hussein, The History Of Saddam Hussein, And His Willingness To Terrorise Himself."

"States Should Have The Right To Enact Reasonable Laws And Restrictions Particularly To End The Inhumane Practice Of Ending A Life That Otherwise Could Live."

"Mr. Vice President, In All Due Respect, It Is- I'm Not Sure 80% Of The People Get The Death Tax. I Know This: 100% Will Get It If I'm The President."

"I've Been Talking To Vincente Fox, The President Of Mexico... I Know Him.. To Have Gas And Oil Sent To Us... So We'll Not Depend On Foreign Oil."

"I Have Said That The Sanction Regime [On Iraq] Is Like Swiss Cheese, That Meant That They Weren't Very Effective."

"This Campaign Not only Hears The Voices Of the Entrepreneurs And The Farmers And The Entrepreneurs, We Hear The Voices Of Those Struggling To Get Heard."

"Actually, I-This Might Sound A Little West Texan To You, But I Like It. When I'm Talking About- When I'm Talking About Myself, And When He's Talking About Myself, All Of Us Are Talking About Me."

"It's Important For Us To Explain To Our Nation That Life Is Important. It's Not Only Life Of Babies, But It's Life Of Children Living In, You Know, The Dark Dungeons Of The Internet."

"Well, I Think If You Know What You Believe, It Makes It A Lot Easier To Answer Questions: I Cant Answer Your Question."

"We Have A Firm Commitment To NATO, We Are A Part Of NATO. We Have A Firm Commitment To Europe. We Are A Part Of Europe."

"The Fundamental Question Is, 'Will I Be A Successful President When It Comes To Foreign Policy?' I Will Be, But Until I'm The President, It's Going To Be Hard For Me To Verify That I Think I'll Be More Effective."

"More Muslims Have Died At The Hands Of Killers Than ? I Say More Muslims ? A Lot Of Muslims Have Died ? I Don't Know The Exact Count ? At Istanbul. Look At These Different Places Around The World Where There's Been Tremendous Death And Destruction Because Killers Kill."

"You Know, Let Me Talk About Al-Qaeda Just For A Second. I Made The Statement That We're Dismantling Senior Management, And We Are. Our People Have Done A Really Good Job Of Hauling In A Lot Of The Key Operators. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Abu Zubaida. Ramzi-Ramzi Alshibh Or Whatever That Guy's Name Was."

"The Recession Started Upon My Arrival. It Could Have Been ? Some Say February, Some Say March, Some Speculate Maybe Earlier It Started ? But Nevertheless, It Happened As We Showed Up Here. The Attacks On Our Country Affected Our Economy. Corporate Scandals Affected The Confidence Of People And Therefore Affected The Economy. My Decision On Iraq, This Kind Of March To War, Affected The Economy."

"The March To War Affected The People's Confidence. It's Hard To Make Investment. See, If You're A Small Business Owner Or A Large Business Owner And You're Thinking About Investing, You've Got To Be Optimistic When You Invest. Except When You're Marching To War, It's Not A Very Optimistic Thought, Is It? In Other Words, It's The Opposite Of Optimistic When You're Thinking You're Going To War."

"We Will Make Sure Our Troops Have All That Is Necessary To Complete Their Missions. That's Why I Went To The Congress Last September And Proposed Fundamental ? Supplemental Funding, Which Is Money For Armor And Body Parts And Ammunition And Fuel."

"Public Speaking Is Very Easy"

AHAH! these are hilarious.

Did you put these quotes together?

Are they real?

Real, madeup,
Still funny though.

Funny stuff.. but so true

Haha!! Pwnage!
Best thread ever

Wow, will the conservatives go crazy when they see this.
Fun stuff

There's loads more of them out there, my personal favourite one was when he was denying the use of "subliminible", "subliminabable" messages. He wouldn't look out of place as a poster in these forums though, some really bad grammar and made up words here too.

An average american's dinner time in script form:

Mom: Dinners ready. I cooked you some low quality microwaved TV readymeals so you can watch TV at the same time.

Dad: Ooooh lets see what is on TEEEEVEEEE now ;O

Kid 1: MMM TEEEEVEEEE!

Kid 2: Yay! A commercial for the latest TEEEVEEE system featuring 10000 channels of pure shite!

Mom: Watch you fucking language kids!

Dad: All of you shut the FUCK up with your FUCKING language so we can watch the FUCKING TEEEVEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Kid 1: Ok fatso.

The family watch crappy reality programs

Kid 2: Mmm, that low quality food has lots of tasty fat! Mmm! My heart will be soooo healthy now I've consumed more fat than the daily english person eats in a year! It says so on da TEEEEEEEEEVEEEEE ;O

Kid 2 has heart attack

Kid 1: He'll be fine in a couple of hours.

Dad: Time for more TEEEVEEE PROGRAMZ ;O

Mom: OOOH GORGE DUBYA BOOOSH IS MAKING A SPEECH ON CHANNEL 9991203249 ;O

the family change the channel finally after desperately squabbling around for the remote control

George W. Bush: AR FELOW ARMERIARNS! REJOYC AZ WE EXECUT SUM IRAQIS WID DA XTREM TORTUR TEKNIKS ;O

Mom: Ooooh ;O Dis culd be educational for our kidz ;O Lets watch!

George W. Bush: Ok, let's press da buton for da tortur thingzmagik. Durrr I cant read what dis button sayz ;O

George presses the button to detonate America's vast supply of nuclear warheads

George W. Bush: ZOGM NOO I PRESD DA BUTN FOR DA IRAQI BUSTIN DEVICEZ ;O;O

Dad: Oh well, at least we'll survive, we have da TEEEVEEEEE!!!11

World explodes

The family watch crappy reality programs

ughh i HATE reality tv. watching that stuff makes people retarded. id rather watch the same episode of southpark 20 times than sit through a reality show.

"now here to talk to you today is Kathy. Kathy is a west texan girl - just like me."

hehe, this guys crazy.

and mop, thats just too far.

Reality Tv sucks. There's couple good series.. but 90% is crap.
Big Brother (Season 2), Survivor (season 2 & 4), Amazing Race (season 1 & 2)

m0p: That's fucking stupid and you suck.

Indeed reality tv isn't the best, but look at it the bright side -- they have sex occasionally

Perv

ive noticed alot of stereotyping of americans on here. im american but i hardly even watch tv. i do eat junk food and guzzle soda, but im not fat and im in good shape. im also conservative but i still think those bush quotes are funny. i dont get offended if someone doesnt like bush, thats their opinion and i respect that. most people here are not the "sterotypical" american that world sees us as

The fact is that rather a large amount of americans follow the stereotype exactly.

masterofpuppets: No. The statistics of that please?
HrnyGoat: Good for you. Lets hope Rileymo follows your example.

Did you know 95% of all statistics are made up?

23% of all people know that, G_KID

lol!!

m0p, that du=inner time was not real at all. Well, for me at least.

My mom makes dinner every night. Its all made from scratch, too. ANd no one in my family is fat.

same here. my family has always eaten togother. at a table. not a couch. my parents cook real food or we go to a nice restaurant and eat together.

Its not meant to be realistic! It's for comedy purposes!

Its not funny.

Oh come on! Surely the george dubya bush part was funny.

i guess.

I 92% concur.

And the other 8%?

ive noticed alot of stereotyping of americans on here. im american but i hardly even watch tv. i do eat junk food and guzzle soda, but im not fat and im in good shape. im also conservative but i still think those bush quotes are funny. i dont get offended if someone doesnt like bush, thats their opinion and i respect that. most people here are not the "sterotypical" american that world sees us as

I strongly agree. I just found this thread BTW. No mention of me here; odd.

You really do stereotype us. I just want to know one thing.

Why?

CUs you are kind person who doesnt deserve to be hated against.

well, I must say, In my opinion Bush needs to be executed.
Really.
He's too retarded to be president. And, when it comes to stereotyping, I hate to say it but, well, though I'm sure many americans aren't fat, aren't stupid, the stupid and fat ones are very prevalent. Obesity is disgusting (I also hate when it is spelled wrong), people need to get all their fat asses and exercise. Sure, I spend hours in front of my computer, but I also get enough exercise. I wish people wouldn't make excuses, and be all, "I get tired" or "my back...". Frankly, unless you have some uber serious injury there are types of exercises you can do. Anyway, I'm from Canada and I got down to the states at least once a year and it makes me happy I live in Canada. I'm not saying Canada is perfect, or doesn't have obese people or anything,it's just that we are less... hmm... extreme. We're definetly still following in or so called big brother's footsteps. Well, I just think it's fairly obvious that american T.V. is aimed at morons. It's not much better up here, since we still get much of the same stuff, but I much prefer Canadian news to American. Well, my ranting will keep going if I don't stop, so, to everyone:

QUIT BEING IGNORANT

Canada = cold place. COLDER THAN FINLAND.

Yes. Those fatties should exercise more, but if you wanna be a fattie.. It's his/her problem. I can imagine how many heart-attacks there are in a year..

ZombieLoffe, m0p's american TV dinner is one of the funniest things i have ever read. if you can seriously direct me to something funnier do so

http://members.chello.se/zombieloffe/pwned.text <- funnier.

And, um, agree with the Cat-avatar.

Those are HiLaRiOuS!

Yes, obese people, it's their own problem... but I don't want to hear uber fat chicks complaining when I won't date them. I don't want girls that are bone thin either. It's not because of how they look as much as I can't respect someone that can't take care of their own body properly.

eh.. I'm with ya there!

ive noticed alot of stereotyping of americans on here.

Instead of looking in the mirror to help figure out why things suck so bad, some people tend to place the blame on others (scapegoats). That way, they never have to make any difficult changes in themselves because they convince themselves that they are perfect and the problem lies elsewhere. It's really not so difficult to see.

[03:46:03] <ZombieLoffe> Nirvana = ass
[03:46:03] <m0p> :O:O
[03:46:10] <ZombieLoffe> they really do suck
[03:46:21] <m0p> agreed.
[03:46:29] <m0p> suck factor 10
[03:46:33] <m0p> of 10!
[03:46:43] <m0p> ;O
[03:46:50] <@Ant> ...
[03:46:50] <m0p> thats the highest suck factor ever
[03:46:52] <@Ant> Thanks m0p.
[03:47:18] <m0p>
[03:47:22] <m0p> No problem.

I hate you all.

CUs you are kind person who doesnt deserve to be hated against.

I don't understand what you are saying. Please use correct grammar and wordage and post again. Thank you.

I like one of their songs. Forget the name.

We need a .net website for the entire gallery of funnyness.

I might do it but it depens on what apache needs to host a server.

Like, ow much memery and such it uses.

what?

I might do it but it depens on what apache needs to host a server.

Like, ow much memery and such it uses.

Minimal. Ive got apache running "always"

okay, ill try it out then.

I do the same, along with my FTP server. It's using around 4MB of 1024, which is 0.4%.

thats memory or internet connection?

I said megabytes. I didn't indicate a timebase, therefore it's evidently storage or allocation as opposed to transfer. If I'd said 4MBs^-1, then okay, but I didn't. What happened to not spamming?

damn! wtf? i asked a seriuos question.

Im a noob at computer stuff. Dont be an asshole about it.

Asking a serious question isnt spam...

and can someone give me a download site? i cant seem to find it on apache's website.