Dear Tech Support Created 18 years ago2006-02-15 22:24:32 UTC by NavyCS

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity: applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

haha thats sweet, well done

Wow thats great! I actually "Laughed out loud!"

ha.haha.. HAH!

Haha. Good one.

Ha, I laughed at that, even though I have no idea what these programs are

You are an idiot.

@ Urb - you dont run hunting and fishing 7.5 do you? make sure to check wether there are any program conflicts before your upgrade is complete. whens the install finished anyway?

Nice..

Hehe, that was a fun one to read.

Makes me think, is there an 'encountered bugs' list for Wife 1.0, bytheway?

Here is a thread where we got carried away with it

Tech Support on steroids

BTW, I was no the author of this, a friend of mine emailed it to me.

nice one navyCS that is great

oooh... damn...

i only have 3d girlfriend max 4.2

very funny... dr. mapper i really hope u were kidding

Hey, uhh, i tried this OS, but when i installed Dumbass Comment V2_b1 i got a virus known as Smack 1.2, and now i gotta reinstall :/

That is brilliant, I actually laughed out loud when reading some parts of this.

"I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation." Haha, thats the best line in there. Awesome stuff.