Journal #5948
Posted 14 years ago2009-07-15 20:03:57 UTC
EDIT: Chapter one is here: http://www.twhl.co.za/forums.php?thread=16415&page=last
So, I've been thinking of writing a short novel of some kind to practice my writing skills. And I came up with Half-life: Guard duty, A story about Sargeant Henry Pierce, a security guard in Black Mesa. Henry works in the Area 7 Security offices, near the recreation centre. Below is an exerpt from the first chapter, which I just finished. (This is the first section, Pierce is not introduced here)
8:47 AM
Black Mesa Research Facility
Black Mesa, New Mexico
(Tram line)
The young man on the tram glanced at his watch, a look of worry on his face. Late again. The Administrator would have his head if just one more experiment was delayed on his account. The tram, leaving the stop at the sector B coolant reserve launched into its automated welcome speech. Like anyone else was on the tram line this late.
Post below with your opinion, Because I may just post a thread with the chapters in it as soon as they get writen.
So, I've been thinking of writing a short novel of some kind to practice my writing skills. And I came up with Half-life: Guard duty, A story about Sargeant Henry Pierce, a security guard in Black Mesa. Henry works in the Area 7 Security offices, near the recreation centre. Below is an exerpt from the first chapter, which I just finished. (This is the first section, Pierce is not introduced here)
8:47 AM
Black Mesa Research Facility
Black Mesa, New Mexico
(Tram line)
The young man on the tram glanced at his watch, a look of worry on his face. Late again. The Administrator would have his head if just one more experiment was delayed on his account. The tram, leaving the stop at the sector B coolant reserve launched into its automated welcome speech. Like anyone else was on the tram line this late.
?Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa transit system. This automated train is provided for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa research facility personnel??Post below with your opinion, Because I may just post a thread with the chapters in it as soon as they get writen.
18 Comments
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And I definitely think you should post the chapters as you go along, not only would you be sharing the story with the beloved members of TWHL, you would also get some good criticism and opinions along the way.
"It's going to be a long day," he thought.
Thoughts use the same punctuation as normal speech, and you typically don't use slang in writing, particularaly in thoughts. Only time I believe slang can be accepted is if it's heavy slang rather than slurred words, and it's used to define the character, not because that's the way the writer is.
Just some constructive criticism to help you along.
Other than that, I agree that it flows pretty well and doesn't seem boring as far as I can tell from a small portion.
Who actualy says "going to be" ?
I know i dont.
lol plenty of people do, but i accept that as defining the character
glad to see the Barneys getting back into the picture again!
@Tito: Yeah, I might read some of those author's books. I try to write in the style of movies, even if just to make it easier for the reader to visualize.
@Everyone else: Thanks for the input!
Make sure to brainstorm an outline before just typing away. Or else your gold quickly turns to shit!
And nobody want's shit around their neck
I write ideas once they develop well enough to be used, at least, once I have free time to do so.
I once tried to make concept art for a Manga, but it was beginner-level at best. And I'm not too good at drawing complex objects, enviroments, and different poses. Maybe someday, though.
Exept I don't have Gmod ATM, plus the Black Mesa devs don't want their content used in Gmod... So I'd have to buy HL:S and have the old Low-definition models.
Maybe someday.
I wanted to use the name Henry, but also have a hommage to Hawkeye Pierce (Played by Alan Alda) from MASH.