Journals

jamie6 days ago2022-09-23 01:32:38 UTC 3 comments
Might be just me overreacting but these past few days have been boring. These days consist of me waking up, going to work, eat, and waste my time on useless stuff. My life has become excidingly boring. I started running out of mapping ideas for my mod, then i had no mapping ideas. Playing videogames is boring now, watchin tv is also boring, reading is boring. Am i wasting my life?
Rimrook2 weeks ago2022-09-12 21:38:49 UTC 2 comments
Super Matt Jordan is and has been cancelled for many years now but I always liked and kept the music.

So I put a little Dropbox together of all the (mostly) finished pieces I have.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/2o60y07saqxu7am/AAD_0vV919iZQITqwV0J0A5Da?dl=0

I do t know if or when I can return to TWHL or mapping, maybe far down the line? Who knows. Enjoy the tunes! ^_^
Meerjel012 weeks ago2022-09-11 18:37:19 UTC 1 comment
I've gotten the feeling of hatred so I drew a motivative Gift.
User posted image
Sadness might show trust and humanity but happiness feels good to have.
Meerjel012 weeks ago2022-09-08 17:39:00 UTC 1 comment
I'm a music artist :>
Admer4563 weeks ago2022-09-04 19:57:37 UTC 2 comments
Since I've told this story to people numerous, numerous times on Discord and I'm tired of repeating, I'm gonna tell it here once and for all.

TL;DR I fried eggs this morning and I made pizza tonight. Skim the journal for pictures.

I'm gonna tell you one thing now. My mum makes bad pizza. Just keep that in mind.

Lemme introduce you to what happened tonight by telling you what happened approximately 10 years ago. I was 10 years old and it was evening. Dad arrived home from the military, and Mum was making dinner. I was, of course, at my PC. Where else would I had been? Dinner was ready and Mum called me. Naturally, just like my brother now, I've always had a bit of a delay before getting up to go to the kitchen. Stuff on my computer was just way more interesting. This time though, I was hungry.

What I saw on the table was a good-looking, delicious rectangular pizza, cuz' Mum used to make pizzas back in a rectangular oven pan back then. I think the crust was homemade, I don't exactly remember. It was nice though, and I'd always eat a whole lot of it. She'd ask me if I'd like mushrooms on it next time, and I said yes. That one was also pretty nice. I liked it quite a bit. The crust was always very crunchy (not hard!) and it was really nice.

Fast-forward to 2020, that is 8 years later, I was in high school, and I got the 'rona. This changed my sense of taste forever. I stopped eating pizza for the longest time because hers became so... oily and rubbery to me. I didn't like it. Even though I seem to have fully regained my sense of smell and taste roughly 5-6 months later, my mum's pizza was never quite the same...

So, I simply didn't want it any more. I found the pizza in actual pizzerias and restaurants to be very nice. But I was quite intrigued that my mum's cooking seemingly deteriorated. I was not sure what was going on with that. I remember really damn well that Mum's pizza was pretty okay, even though it wasn't on the level of, well, even how cheap bakeries do it. I love pizza from the bakery, it's got a personality of its own. It's like a child that sees these cowboys in 60s western films and tries to act like them. I like the effort and it's definitely got its own sorta thing.

But I stopped liking Mum's pizza.

Later in 2021, I randomly had a thought:
"What if you boiled an egg, then fried it afterwards?"
I was, like, legit curious. This is my shower-thought curiosity at its finest. I google this thought and found out about tiger skin eggs. They look something like this:
User posted image
I came across a video that details how these are cooked, and I was like "Hmm, honestly, I could probably do something like this one day, doesn't even seem hard!"
I discovered a bunch of cooking channels, but a few truly stuck with me: Adam Ragusea and Binging with Babish. One gives me practical ideas, the other gives me less practical ideas because I don't have most of the ingredients here. But lemme tell ya. Ragusea's videos on pizza opened my eyes and things started to click.

You have any idea what kinda pizza my mum was making? She wasn't making a pizza, she was making bread with ketchup and hard cheese on top of it. Oh, and Poli bologna. Honestly that thing isn't even bologna, it's just a heavily-processed chicken sausage that stinks and makes me wanna throw up whenever I see it.
These were the two main enemies:
User posted image
To the left, you got the Poli, to the right, you got the "livada" cheese, which can be translated as "field" or "flatland" or "a plain". It's a type of hard cheese and doesn't melt well, that's all you gotta know really. I don't have a picture of how this pizza looked, but lemme tell you, it is horrible, I'd never eat it again. I can't eat it again after I've been to several good pizzerias.

Oh, and lemme tell you, we still use canned mushrooms. Mum didn't bother drying them, neither did she preheat the oven pan. She was doing everything wrongly. So, it turns out, when I was little, I simply didn't know better and accepted this kinda """pizza""".

All of this made me attempt making my own. Initially I mostly followed Mum's way but I used turkey ham instead of Poli, and later I started swapping things out for other things. Replaced ketchup with some type of tomato sauce (still not exactly the one I am looking for, but it's good enough), replaced the cheese with a mixture of mozzarella and gouda, and it was a substantial, fairly noticeable improvement. But something was still missing and I was a real beginner, so I didn't quite put enough cheese, and I often overcooked it.

Also, the "tomato sauce" we got was like, yeah, it was weird:
User posted image
Apparently this is some sorta already-baked tomato sauce? Either way, it got mega stinky after a few days.

But this time, I decided to REALLY up my pizza game. Like, really really good. 2 nights ago, I stayed up until 4 in the morning, binge-watching cooking videos and I got several new ideas on how to improve my existing thing:
  • actually dry the mushrooms and cut them thinner
  • preheat the oven pan
  • put lots more cheese
This time, it wasn't mozzarella and Gouda, it was mozzarella and Edam. Still, very good combo, I just wish I had some more mozzarella at hand. I made my brother's pizza with some turkey ham bits and the usual (without mushrooms though). I put it in the already very hot oven pan, and waited for about 5 minutes before getting it out. I then frantically ran around because I realised the dinner table wasn't set yet and I had nowhere else to put the pizza, so I just put the pizza onto the table, no plates, no anything. I quickly grabbed another pizza pan though and put it right in there, as the preheated one went back into the oven. That was quite chaotic.

Also, the tomato sauce I was using this time was a bit different. It was brighter and it smelled a lot nicer. This one seems to be the uncooked kind, it even had some veggies inside and decent, chunky bits of tomato. Perfect IMO.

Now, here's the fun part: it was my pizza's turn. Oh boy. I made it as usual, putting the tomato sauce, putting the cheese, putting some Mediterranean spice mix on top, and I put my dried mushrooms on one half of the pizza, just so I could see if it'll be better or worse with them. Guess you could call it a half-fungirita, eheh?

And then a moment of pure genius struck me as I quickly snatched a bottle of olive oil and poured just a little bit of it (maybe 3 quarters of a teaspoon) on top of the pizza. I had no idea what the result was gonna be. I just knew I had to do it. FOR SCIENCE!!!

Now, I realise this ain't the best pizza in the world, and it surely could be better in many ways, but it's a huge step up from what I've been making before, and especially compared to my mum's pizza:
User posted image
See the yellowish, orange-ish spots in the centre? That is certainly the oil!

That... was damn good. I loved it. Mum tried a slice and asked me if I could make 4 pizzas like that for the family. Honestly, if your overly picky brother eats the crust, you know you've made a good pizza. Or maybe just something he prefers more. Either way, I'm glad I got to see that in life.

Now in completely other news, I also fried eggs for the first time and that was pretty good... I'm going for a cheese omelette next time.
I woke up thinking "I am frying eggs and NOBODY can stop me" and I legit set out to do that. Very good decision. First time frying an egg BTW!
How it startedHow it started
(yes, the basement IS the kitchen here, you lucky individuals)
How it endedHow it ended
It was crunchy around the edges, which I liked, however I would've preferred a softer yolk. Overall, I enjoyed it more than the alternative, which was to grab something from the fridge, like a pathe, or turkey ham. I was also advised to use medium heat instead of high heat next time (thanks Zode!) and I will do just that. It was very epic either way and I got satisfaction out of it.

So yeah, thanks Mum, for having such bad cooking that motivated me even more to start cooking myself. One day, I gotta cook a steak, mmm... I've already done chicken fillets and I definitely like that. I gotta do it more, honestly.

Now, the next thing I wanna do is try cooking some sorta frozen döner kebab meat. I don't have a picture, but just imagine döner meat, whether chicken or beef, in some sorta package that sits in the super cold top part of your fridge. Here's the thing now. So far, I've been heating it up in the microwave, but you know what microwaves do to food... they make em soggy and in kebab's case, very soft and kinda moist. I don't want that.
So I'll see if I can heat it up in a frying pan next time or in the oven. I am not sure how that'll go, but maybe I'll get some better results than in the microwave.

Also, I may have mentioned a panini press, maybe not, but lemme tell ya, I use that thing for everything these days. I love it. When Mum boils hotdogs and I feel like a troll, I just panini press them after the fact. It is immeasurably useful when it comes to bread and stuff.

Either way, congrats for reading all the way to the end, I am quite impressed, not gonna lie. Happy eating, folks.
Yes
Meerjel013 weeks ago2022-09-02 14:53:15 UTC 3 comments
28 - 27 = Existence
satchmo4 weeks ago2022-08-31 03:51:46 UTC 5 comments
My first flight lesson is this Friday.

I have been studying for the past few weeks, learning all there is to know about the Cirrus SR-20 and SR-22.

Flying with instrument is not unlike mapping. You have to know the functionality of all these buttons; you need to have good spatial awareness; you need to understand pitch/yaw/roll.

See you in the sky!
Shepard62700FR1 month ago2022-08-28 22:02:42 UTC 8 comments
Two words: "cubic meter" and "multiply".
Overfloater1 month ago2022-08-26 13:15:20 UTC 1 comment
Hello everyone. I was thinking of this for a while now, but I thought I would give returning to TWHL another chance. Seven months ago I left because I had a ton of issues to go through, and I also felt like I didn't have any real reason to remain in the community, since I switched from working on Half-Life as a base to my own engine.

However, I must admit I want to give being part of a community another chance. I'm sorry for leaving all of a suddenly and just disappearing, leaving some people hanging in the air. I had by then a massive backlog of problems, and I really just needed to reduce my life to a size I was able to manage, and being in Discord felt... addictive at the time, I felt like I was wasting a lot of time I should've spent on solving problems or doing just anything healthier than distracting myself endlessly.

Now, I want to try and rejoin the Discord, without getting addicted this time. Hopefully, that'll work out.
jamie1 month ago2022-08-22 19:58:52 UTC 5 comments
give me map ideas. ANYTHING.

EDIT: Im gonna do Urby´s map and then im gonna finish the koth map
Daburubareru1 month ago2022-08-09 03:51:26 UTC 5 comments
Yes that was quickly, I'm still finding motivation and hope for my project I'll will keep continue my mod the they hunger remake thing!
Prepare for a disappointment...
Hi and good morning, I'm about finally actually speaking about my ''burn thoughts'' from yesterday this summer I've been thinking a lot of negative stuff toward my project which it is a remake of ''They Hunger'' the actual name is Rockwell (you may heard about it before...) aka the codename is THS (that I rarely keep talking about it here in other sites, on discord and sometime here), I feel like I wouldn't be able to complete a huge project like this on Source will ever happens I was in a series of being burn out and I want to switch my project into something very original I would love to make it in Goldsrc yes I'm switching source to HL1 modding, into something original I've always wanted make it for now I want to take a break and get inspired.

I sincerely apologize for those who are very disappointed it.

For now I'm taking a break currently
Meerjel012 months ago2022-07-26 18:28:15 UTC 3 comments
User posted image
The ragdoll is a bit messy so I'll try to stay with an animated NPC instead.
Vinny played my LSD Dream Emulator recreation map during his Randoslap Map Pack stream. It was a very surreal experience for me, i have never had anyone with any sort of large presence spotlight something i've created before. Too bad it was the one map i've made so far that isn't an original design, lol. I'm happy and grateful anyhow.

Here's a link to that video. Many interesting maps get played.
Hi, Last time I talked about Game Dev here was a LONG time ago (it was when I was making a game called HINDSIGHT 2 that no longer is being worked on)
and yeah I want to talk about what I'm doing now
I have attempted to get back into Half-Life Modding recently but haven't been able to due to my lack of C++ knowledge but I have gotten back into making Unity Games due to me knowing some C# (I'm currently working on a FPS but I don't have anything interesting to show right now, thinking about making a blog for its development though)

Now onto that personal stuff
A While ago I had some thoughts about who I was (I meant like gender related stuff) and I realized sometime in March that I was Transgender, I have tried She/Her Pronouns before that and they really stuck with me but i never fully realized I was trans until then, I have began using the name Maddy on Discord but to be honest, i havent began coming out in real life due to anxiety and that type of stuff

Well, this wraps up this Journal i guess