The best joke you know... Created 19 years ago2005-04-04 14:17:24 UTC by Daubster

My father is so small that he died when he fell of the carpet.

what do a actor need to turn of the light?
A manuscript, a filmcrew and ofcourse a stuntman.

i made the last one myself... not so good i know...

How many dirty stinkin apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3. One to screw in the light bulb and 2 to throw feces at it.
(got that off Family Guy )

OK.. this is an old one... REALLY OLD.
Remember that this joke takes time in the early 50's.

One family was having a picnic in the great outdoors. Suddenly their pocket-radio started an announcment:
"Attention! The earth is being invaded by aliens from mars. They seem to have big heads, short legs, long arms and big poppy eyes. Be alert and if you see one, try communicating to it! DO NOT offend the alien in any way!"
The family got scared but nothign hapened.. After a few minutes the father went in the nearest bush for a shit. And suddenly he saw the alien! Everything mached the description! The father remembered the anouncment about communicating with the aliens. He said:
"Greetings. I am Tom Smithsky. I come from New York. I am trying to have a shit."
The alien looked at him and replied:
"Hello... I'm Eddy Barkley.. I'm from New York and I'm having a shit..."

Good one, eh? Hope u understood my translation...

Where's the tragedy in four chavs driving off a cliff in a Ford Fiesta?A Fiesta can seat five.

Wow! This i by now the most reply-having post of all my posts! Yay!!!

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up

again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess,

I will stay with you for one week."

The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the

pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want."

Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess,

that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't

you kiss me?"

The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for

girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

Two rather nerdy engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Heh.

I like the 1 bout the bike... Sweeeeet

Alright... I bet you all know jokes bout junkies.... Heres my one...

Three high junkies were walking down a road. One of them says:
"Hey why don't we try catching a ride?" The second one says:
"You idiot, the driver will see thet we're high and throw us out!" Then the third one came up with an idea:
"Well then why don't we get in the car, take a seat and say nothin? Maybe the driver won't notice anythin?"
The other 2 agreed and soon they catched a ride. They all took a seat and didnt say anythin. The driver looked at them for a couple a' minutes and said:
"WTF? Are you guys high or somethin??" The junkies replied:
"Damit, howd ya know?"
"Well, nothing.. Just that the three of you are sittin on the front seat..."

Harharhar...
Btw Seventh didn't recognize you with the new av

He He

your moms so hairy, when u were born you got carpet burn!