Conspiracy Conspiracy Conspiracy! Created 19 years ago2004-08-26 13:01:14 UTC by Jahzel

Here is list of 10 conspiracies currently circulating the network of society. They are certainly probable, given the current state of affairs:

1. Jeb Bush has actively concealed the fact that a homeless woman sitting in a spacecraft hovering over Fairbanks was a background singer for Linda Tripp.

2. Sir. Elton John refuses to believe that a housewife who thinks she saw Elvis in or near the Great Wall of China is wearing a very clever disguise so as to be mistaken for Gary Shandling.

3. John Denver strongly suspects that a Microsoft lackey in Martha's Vineyard can't wait to get the autograph of the Queen of England.

4. Scotland Yard had a visit from a group of Men in Black who said that the seventh son of a seventh son in the White House wants to extract a DNA sample from the cast of Friends.

5. An unknown branch of the government hopes it never comes to be that a KGB agent within seven miles of Denton is secretly feeding false information to Penn and Teller.

6. Al Gore wants you to believe that the tallest person who's visited Fairyland has spent the last five years running from Lee Harvey Oswald.

7. An elite team of government assassins strongly suspects that one of several children in or near Death Valley wants to extract a DNA sample from your frontal cortex.

8. George W. Bush knows that it's only a matter of time before the tallest person within seven miles of John Malcovitch's head can't wait to get the autograph of several small crustaceans.

9. J. Michael Straczyinski knows that it's only a matter of time before the first child due south of a covert government medical facility has caused the resignation of conspiracy theorists worldwide.

10. William Jefferson Clinton was told by visitors from the future that an illegitimate child of Elvis last spotted in the Bermuda Triangle is pregnant with the love child of a gigantic killer moth.

10's gotta be the oddest.

Too much time jahzel

That was just mean. Looks a bit like mop, but I dont think its him.

Jahzel, you are definitely a few peanuts shy of a full bag.

A few clowns short of a circus

a few fries short of a happy meal

an experiment in Artificial Stupidity

a few beers short of a six-pack

a few peas short of a casserole

doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

one fruit loop shy of a full bowl

one taco short of a combination plate

a few feathers short of a whole duck

all foam, no beer

body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

has an I.Q of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt

Warning: Objects in Mirror are dummber than they appear

couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions of the heel

too much yardage between the goal posts

an intellect rivaled only by garden tools

as smart as bait

doesn't have all his dogs on one leash

elevator doesn't go to the top floor

forgot to pay his brain bill

her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels

his belt doesn't go through all the loops

if he had another brain, it would be lonely

no grain in the silo

proof that evolution can go in reverse

receiver is off the hook

several nuts short of a full pouch

he was born in the stupid tree, fell out of the stupid tree, hit every branch on the way down and landed in a pile of stupid sticks.

and my favorite (Drumroll)

the wheel's turning, but the hampster's dead

Hehe You people wouldn't make good surrealists.

10 is baltantly a lie. whoever believes that should be in a mental hospital ;p

surrealism is a joke now. All you have to do is put something where something else should be. Thats why surrealism as an artform died, it was too easy. But Twin Peaks was good!

Dred.....SURREALISM not REALITY

What do you mean 10 is blantantly as lie?
It makes perfect sense to me.
I reckon you should be in the mental hospital.

It's always good fun getting the confused reaction of people!

where do you get these generators?

Do a google search for 'Conspiracy Generator'. There is even a George Bush Conspiracy Generator, which can be funny. Generators are pretty cool.

lol, but where do you get the generator for the inventions in your journal?

Oh, well there is a generator for inventions. Here: www.thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi - this one is pretty good.