need help to correct my english Created 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:18:33 UTC by J.C J.C

Created 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:18:33 UTC by J.C J.C

Posted 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:18:33 UTC Post #151892
I am actually working on the "strategy guide" of the map I am on for monthes, and am requesting some help for those of you who english is the first language. :)

http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_surf.html

Please comment only if you are sure, don't hesitate to ask me if you aren't sure of the sense of a sentence, and try to keep the same general meaning of a decription if you totally redo it. :|

The guide isn't completed, so some pages (map parts) aren't done/uploaded yet.
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:25:01 UTC Post #151893
Nice site!
Shame my english is bad too, so. :lol:
I like the way you can select section at map though! ?ber micro
Madcow MadcowSpy zappin my udder
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:29:34 UTC Post #151896
Yes I like the Blizzard strategy guides they do for all their games (Warcraft III, Diablo II etc), and I wanted something similar for my project (players who know a bit the map feel less stressed while playing it I think), then I am on it, but realized it is not as easy as I thought :| (dozens of screenshots, you have to describe everything, to link everything to anything, to upload, test, revise, update etc), but that is overall very interesting (I am working on a designer portfolio while looking for a job related to internet and/or video games).
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-12 12:36:35 UTC Post #151897
I will. Probably this evening.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-12 23:46:49 UTC Post #151972
So you want us to proofread?
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 12:43:05 UTC Post #152031
"proofread" ?

(take a look on the dictionary ...)

Oh, yeah, sure : my english is not good enough to make all my web pages nice to look and read, I can design basic "international" websites, but once I have to add details, technical words, descriptions etc, I like better to ask for people who really speak english instead of releasing english pages finally only french people can get. :)
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 12:44:00 UTC Post #152032
You can trust Seventh here.. :)
Daubster DaubsterVault Dweller
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 12:51:45 UTC Post #152033
there are only two small restrictions for the job :

_no "advanced" word, nothing too academic or literary : keep in mind this is for CS gamers, so the descriptions have to be understable by (young) people,
_all the descriptions have to be 7 lines long, this is a display format (sometimes use "CTs" instead of "counter-terrorists", and use or remove returns ...)
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 13:42:39 UTC Post #152043
Nice idea, such a strategy overview page. Me likes. :)

I've got some (user) comments on it though: a hovering image might be nice, so it's easier to see what area's have a page of their own, and the flashing of area's after you've selected them detracts from the reading.
A list of the area's on the side of the page might be nice, too. Other than that, I like it.
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 17:27:57 UTC Post #152162
I am actually working on the "strategy guide" of the map I am on for monthes, and am requesting some help for those of you who english is the first language.
dude,your english is very good!Ever been to Turkey? :)
Shame my english is bad too, so
yea right,nerd :P
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 18:07:36 UTC Post #152169
Mostly very good English, but the phrasing is a little strange in some cases, so here are my suggestions, in the format "section title", "old paragraph", "my version of the paragraph":

The Helicopter Runway[b] (eh? Helicopters don't need runways? :|)

[quote]The half-open hangar door makes players who enter or exit the helicopter room vulnerable, so the CTs have to either wait in the bombsite room, use the sniping points or camp in the corners, or directly attack the terros coming from the mountain path ...[/quote]

[quote]The half-open hangar door leaves players entering or exiting the chopper room vulnerable, so the CTs either have to wait in the bomb room, sniping and camping in the corners, or attack the terrorists head-on as they come from the mountains.[/quote]

[b]The Hangar Access
Linking the counter-terrorists spawn room and the helicopter bomb site, this tight path is useful when the round starts for quickly cover A, but once the round started, the access becomes very hard to use because of the tightness, the ladder and the insane camp points ...
This tight path links the CT spawn and the helicopter bomb site. It's a good quick path to A at the beginning of a round, but the corridor quickly becomes a deathtrap with narrow walls and camping galore.
The Inside Watch Path
Very strategic path for the CTs, this watch path links the bombsites and enables fast reinforcements.
Players mastering strategy and teamplay can make a great advantage of this map axis. A good player can make this area safe for his whole team.
This path connects the bomb sites and enables quick movement between the alternatives for both teams. A good team can take great advantage of the route, especially if well-covered by skilful team-mates.
The Bomber Room
The bomber room is the bomb site B.
With a gameplay similar to the de_nuke surface bomb site, this room provides a lot of space where to move, hide, dodge, launch grenades and ... plant the bomb...
All the entries are easy to control, but the problem is that they are numerous...
The second bomb site provides similar gameplay to the de_nuke surface site. There's lots of room to hop around and fight, but there are many different ways for your enemy to rush in and out.
The Bomber Runway
An open area with almost no cover that links the bomber room and the base gateway.
The two paths leading to this area are difficult to use, because of their tightness, and this makes this area quite hard to attack but easy to control.
The two paths leading here are tight and precarious, making this area much easier to defend than attack. There is very little cover for prospective rushers to dart between.
The Path to the Runway
A tight and dark path in the mountain where players have to crouch to go through.
This path is usually used by aim maps fans and snipers masters who like better open areas instead of closed rooms (terrorists rushing B from the right exit).
A good place for sniping, this small dark path in the mountain can offer a good way for the terrorists to suprise the defenders, but can only be passed through in a crouch.
In Front of the Base
Providing an access to the underground hall, the base yard and the bomber runaway, this area may be very important at the beginning of the round, when CT still have no clue about the terrorists strategy. This area is a good opportunity to see what terrorists are planning.
Providing access to the underground hall, base yard, and bomber runway, this area is likely to be of importance at the start of a round as the CT team try to figure out the terrorists' [m](yes, that apostrophe (') is in the right place)[/m] tactics.
The Road
The road is really a multipurposed area : counter-terrorists can use when the round just started to try to break a terro surface attack, while it may become a crossroad for terrorists once it is secured. It provides on an other hand a cover for the underground hall rushers...
This road is a multi-purpose area: the counter-terrorists can use it early in the round to try and combat a surface attack on the part of the terrorists, or the Ts can rush through into the base if it is left undefended. It also provides good cover for those charging the underground halls.
The Base Yard
This area is quite easy to defend for the CTs, as the terros can only enter through a few points, but they have all the same to give their best because it directly leads to the both bombsites...
From the yard you can reach the towers, the walls, the road and the CTs room.
This area is quite easy for the CTs to defend as there are few entrances, but it's also a very direct route for the Ts, and, as such, is likely to be very tempting to them. The towers, walls, road, and CT room can all also be reached easily from here.
The Subsidence (a perculiar title... did you get it straight from a dictionary?)
The subsidence provides some good covers, but prevent terrorists from seeing possible rushing counter-terrorists.
This area is good for siege attacks, where terrorists try to eliminate CTs on the walls before to proceed further, but make them vulnerable against grenades ...
The subsidence provides some good cover, but leaves terrorists unable to see any CTs storming their position from the road or across the grass. The Ts can try to eliminate any CTs headstrong enough to try and charge their position, but they are easy prey for counter-terrorist grenades.
The Terrorists Spawn Zone (just call it "the terrorist spawn")
The terrorists start the round here.
They can either rush on the surface from the left or the right exits, or go into the sewers with breaking the grids of the vent. They have to hurry to settle an attack strategy else they could be overrun by counter-terrorists rushers ...
The newborn terrorists can either rush across the surface via the right or left exits or go into the sewers by breaking through the vent covers. They have to organise themselves quickly to avoid being attacked by aggressive counter-terrorists in their own spawn.
The "Grass" Area
One of the most open area of the map, the "grass" area offer a wide field of view, but make players very vulnerable too, because of the lack of covers.
If you are a "rusher", liking quakish fragfests, meet there, you will have some action ...
One of the most open areas of the map, the grass offers a good view of the map, but the lack of cover leaves players crossing it very vulnerable. People who enjoy Quake-ish fragfests will have fun here.
The Path in the Mountain
This path is the main way to quickly reach the bombsite A for the terrorists.
CTs and Ts who "rush A" generally meet in the corner of this area. Retreat isn't really possible for the Ts, as reinforcements for the CTs, so it's mainly a matter of speed and aim here...
This is usually the most popular way for the terrorists to get to bomb site A. CTs and Ts who try to rush to that bombsite are likely to meet here for a quick fight to the death.
I think that's all of them. Phew! If you don't understand words I've used, or why I've changed things, please ask.

Important note: "cover" is a "mass noun", like "water" or "software". You never have "a water" or "two waters": it is always "water": "some water" or "lots of water".
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-13 19:15:09 UTC Post #152184
ok, there you go, just one question? Is that your picture, you look like you should be in Lord of the Rings.
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-14 08:51:56 UTC Post #152235
The Helicopter Runway (eh? Helicopters don't need runways? )
I thought so, but they need some plain area to take off and land, so I thought the word was the same as for planes, as in french ("piste") :| ...

How to tell that else ? helicopter take-off area ?...

"the helicopter runway" web page 99% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_runawayA.html#screen
(just wrote "counter-terrorists" instead of "CT", to make the description 7 lines long :) )

"the Hangar Access" web page 100% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_Ainpath.html#screen
(no change)

"the Inside Watch Path" web page 99% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_watchin.html#screen
(I just added a return to add a line :) )

"the bomber room" web page 100% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_bomber.html#screen
(even if I don't like the 5 lines long description look :| )

"the path to the runway" web page 75% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_pathB.html#screen
(I added a "r" to "surprised", and something to underline that this path is the best for snipers, but not for sniping : it is the only way to have a "open areas only" path to go plant the bomb, but the area itself is not open, this is the subtle contradiction here :) )

"in front of the base" web page 100% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_front.html#screen

"the road" web page 100% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_road.html#screen

"the base yard" web page 80% updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_yard.html#screen
(I did the last sentence simplier because it is obvious, no need to specify more)
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-14 10:33:51 UTC Post #152249
The term is "helicopter pad", usually just shortened to "helipad". There's no other way to say it, really. Those zany Yanks might call it a "heliport", though, but I'd never heard that before checking the spelling of "helipad" on the (American) dictionary.com.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-14 12:32:28 UTC Post #152266
name updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_runawayA.html#screen
(I knew it in addition, it was a Command and Conquer (GDI) building years ago :) )

"the subsidence" page updated :
(a perculiar title... did you get it straight from a dictionary?)
Yes I did, is there something wrong with that word ? what would you use for a kind of big hole in the ground, something like a giant trench, but natural ...

"the terrorists spawn" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_Tspawn.html#screen
(no change)

"the "grass" area" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_grass.html#screen
(no change)

"the path in the mountain" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_pathbehind.html#screen
(I added something about the possibility of reinforcements)
Important note: "cover" is a "mass noun"
I didn't know, do you mean I should say "I need some cover!" or "get some cover!" instead of "I need a cover point!" or "get a cover!"

what about these pages now ?
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_maintower.html#screen
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_supervisorA.html#screen
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_secondtower.html#screen

You just have been added in the team :
http://www.de-raid.net/team.html
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-14 12:56:25 UTC Post #152269
Nice. If you send me an empty 'frame', like the one you're in, I'll send you back a proper framed photo, if you want. More consistent.
Yes I did, is there something wrong with that word ? what would you use for a kind of big hole in the ground, something like a giant trench, but natural ...
It's a very strange word. If it's just a line, like this, then I'd say "bank":
User posted image
Otherwise "pit" is probably a better term.
I didn't know, do you mean I should say "I need some cover!" or "get some cover!" instead of "I need a cover point!" or "get a cover!"
Exactly.

The Second Tower
The sniper best point.
If you master (and can buy) the awp, if you know some terros will come from the lower exit, and if the place is free (it's quite tight though), then you can control the whole outside lower part of the map from this point ...
The best point for sniping. If you're skilled with, and can afford, the AWP, then this can be an excellent place for defence. It can control the entire outside lower part of the map, but there's no promise that even a single person will come that way. It's a tight squeeze, too.
The Hangar Supervision Room (you should probably rename this "the control tower", if it's a place where people order the helicopters around)
A small room providing a wide field of view on the helicopter hangar, with a relative security.
This room is one of the "terminals" of the base inside watch path, enabling the counter-terrorists covering the bombsite B to quickly backup A.
This small room provides a good view of the helicopter hangar and is relatively secure. It is one of the critical points of the base's inside watch path and enables the CTs to quickly get between the bomb sites.
The Main Tower
The main tower provides the best watch point on the surface in the beginning of the round. While providing too a good cover for the CTs, the place is not on an other hand the best one to attack, because of the limited vertical field of view (the terros can hide along the wall).
The main tower provides the best watch point on the surface in the beginning of the round. While providing good cover for the CTs, it is not easily secured, as terrorists attacking the point can hide along the wall (if they make it that far) and are unseen from the tower itself.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-14 13:33:10 UTC Post #152275
The only time helicopters require a runway is when they are fully loaded and a takeoff from there idle position is not possible(thinking mil-8/20 series here). They do a rolling take off to gain some speed wich will convert to lift, thus generating more speed since the chopper becomes lighter, it speeds up more then and down at the end you should have enough lift to to airborne. Offcourse this doesnt always go the right way with the russion choppers.
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-15 07:14:32 UTC Post #152391
Nice. If you send me an empty 'frame', like the one you're in, I'll send you back a proper framed photo, if you want. More consistent.
The webpage is now ready to receive your photo :
http://www.de-raid.net/team.html
but it has to be 135x135 px sized to be well centered.
Otherwise "pit" is probably a better term.
"the pit" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_pit.html#screen

the names "pit", "padA" and "runwayB" updated on all pages.

"the second tower" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_secondtower.html#screen

"the hangar supervision room" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_supervisorA.html#screen

"the main tower" page updated :
http://www.de-raid.net/screenshots/overview_maintower.html#screen
Posted 18 years ago2005-12-16 05:04:12 UTC Post #152567
English is not your first language? You speak it very well, if I may say so.

:)
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