Limericks Created 17 years ago2007-11-03 13:30:15 UTC by Jahzel

I'm pretty sure a thread like this appeared not that long ago. But at work, when I've been bored out of my mind, I decided to spend the hours writing Limericks.

Here are some of the ones I remember writing:

(Really terrible racist one, I know - sorry - I'm not a racist!)

There was a Paki called Sanjeeta,
Whose tits were her only best feature.
I took her to bed,
She gave me some head,
And now she?s given birth to a creature.

Mr. Wong wrote a song
About his best mate?s wife.
He knew it was wrong,
To call her King Kong,
And say she had no life.

There was a drink called ?Fizz?
Full of crack, heroin, coke and whiz.
They gave it to me today,
And on the bed I lay,
Wondering what everything is!

These next ones are just plain weird. The latter is not strictly a Limerick, more of a simple rhyme based on a familiar poem.

Bobcat got the eavesdrop on the raindrop,
On the road to Sangaloo.
But little did he know,
A little black crow,
Was headed for there too.

...Weird, I know. I had to write it though when I thought of it!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Judo is a martial art,
And so is Kung Fu.

...Hehe, pretty lame I know.

When I remember or find some of the others, I'll post them.

I AM DA WALRUS CALLED NUGGET
HOLY CRAP N*GGAS STEALIN MAH BUCKET
I BE CHARGIN MAH LAZR
I FIRED MAH PHAZR
SHOOP DA WHOOP HIS BLACK ASS AND DEN FUCK IT

It's like Dr. Dre collaborated with /b/. Well done.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Most rhymes rhyme,
But this one doesn't.

Yes, I know it sucks great big hairy balls, but it's all I can think of right now.

George Clooney?s next of kin
Ended up in the loony bin.
They thought he was odd,
When he said he was God,
And that everything?s one big sin.

There was a man called Steve,
Whose stories no one would believe.
When he said he was a soldier,
They tapped him on the shoulder,
And asked him quietly to leave.

There was a man from Dover,
Got pissed and fell over!
The very next day,
They took him away,
To the hospital till he was sober.

There was a man called Jesus,
Who got visited by three geezers.
They gave him gold,
They gave him myrrh,
And they gave him Bacardi Breezers.

...Some more.

There once was a man named Freeman
Teleported to the City by Gman
He saw doctor Breen talking on a Screen
And found out he could not use his semen!

Mega lame i know i'm not good at this stuff either.

Tee Dubya Aych El
Wasn't doing so well,
When some kid came spammin'
Luckily the banstick
Shiny, made from plastic
Dragg'd him out for a whammin'

A scientist went by the name
Of Freeman, everyone found it lame
But when his crowbar he swung..
Instead of a "Hello",
No one wanted to know
How he passed his job interview drunk.

How bout some more HL-related ones? :>

heheh, good one

The once was a headcrab called paul,
Who practiced leaping off the de_dust wall.
When he would jump,
A noise went "thump!"
And the headcrab began to fall.

heh, weird

There was once a mapper named Rimrook,
Who was related to royalty, the Marlborough Duke.
Nobody in TWHL thought it could be true,
Until they saw Rimrook on a golden pew.
One day Rimrook wrote a note,
It read, "This is Rimrook, it's time to vote."
And all the mappers made their choice.
"It's obvious!" A mapper yelled to his mother, Joyce.
And Rimrook was selected as the number one leader,
As he made a new map and called ns_breeder.
TWHL was happy, and all agreed.
Until shit went crazy, and we ran out of weed.

There was a web monkey named Alex
Who originally came up with the Dalecs.
A shame then, for him
when perhaps on a whim
he pulled a fucking andy and disappeared

Until shit went crazy, and we ran out of weed.

OH NO!!