Limericks Created 17 years ago2007-11-03 13:30:15 UTC by Jahzel Jahzel

Created 17 years ago2007-11-03 13:30:15 UTC by Jahzel Jahzel

Posted 17 years ago2007-11-03 13:30:15 UTC Post #237573
I'm pretty sure a thread like this appeared not that long ago. But at work, when I've been bored out of my mind, I decided to spend the hours writing Limericks.

Here are some of the ones I remember writing:

(Really terrible racist one, I know - sorry - I'm not a racist!)

There was a Paki called Sanjeeta,
Whose tits were her only best feature.
I took her to bed,
She gave me some head,
And now she?s given birth to a creature.


Mr. Wong wrote a song
About his best mate?s wife.
He knew it was wrong,
To call her King Kong,
And say she had no life.


There was a drink called ?Fizz?
Full of crack, heroin, coke and whiz.
They gave it to me today,
And on the bed I lay,
Wondering what everything is!


These next ones are just plain weird. The latter is not strictly a Limerick, more of a simple rhyme based on a familiar poem.

Bobcat got the eavesdrop on the raindrop,
On the road to Sangaloo.
But little did he know,
A little black crow,
Was headed for there too.


...Weird, I know. I had to write it though when I thought of it!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Judo is a martial art,
And so is Kung Fu.


...Hehe, pretty lame I know.

When I remember or find some of the others, I'll post them. :combine:
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-03 21:52:48 UTC Post #237598
I AM DA WALRUS CALLED NUGGET
HOLY CRAP N*GGAS STEALIN MAH BUCKET
I BE CHARGIN MAH LAZR
I FIRED MAH PHAZR
SHOOP DA WHOOP HIS BLACK ASS AND DEN FUCK IT
monster_urby monster_urbyGoldsourcerer
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-04 07:58:11 UTC Post #237612
It's like Dr. Dre collaborated with /b/. Well done.
Strider StriderTuned to a dead channel.
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 13:25:36 UTC Post #237733
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Most rhymes rhyme,
But this one doesn't.

Yes, I know it sucks great big hairy balls, but it's all I can think of right now.
Alabastor_Twob Alabastor_Twobformerly TJB
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 15:36:33 UTC Post #237744
George Clooney?s next of kin
Ended up in the loony bin.
They thought he was odd,
When he said he was God,
And that everything?s one big sin.

There was a man called Steve,
Whose stories no one would believe.
When he said he was a soldier,
They tapped him on the shoulder,
And asked him quietly to leave.

There was a man from Dover,
Got pissed and fell over!
The very next day,
They took him away,
To the hospital till he was sober.

There was a man called Jesus,
Who got visited by three geezers.
They gave him gold,
They gave him myrrh,
And they gave him Bacardi Breezers.


...Some more. ;)
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 15:44:15 UTC Post #237745
There once was a man named Freeman
Teleported to the City by Gman
He saw doctor Breen talking on a Screen
And found out he could not use his semen!


Mega lame i know i'm not good at this stuff either.
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 16:21:51 UTC Post #237751
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Used to be a beggar,
Somewhere near Hampstead Heath.
He used to ask for money,
But no-one found it funny,
So they knocked him in his teeth.
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 17:27:50 UTC Post #237753
Tee Dubya Aych El
Wasn't doing so well,
When some kid came spammin'
Luckily the banstick
Shiny, made from plastic
Dragg'd him out for a whammin'

A scientist went by the name
Of Freeman, everyone found it lame
But when his crowbar he swung..
Instead of a "Hello",
No one wanted to know
How he passed his job interview drunk.

How bout some more HL-related ones? :>
Daubster DaubsterVault Dweller
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 17:47:47 UTC Post #237755
A guy by the name of Vance
stood there in a wobbly stance
looked on at Alyx
in a slight bit of malice
not that Freeman had much of a chance.
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 18:41:09 UTC Post #237757
heheh, good one :)

The once was a headcrab called paul,
Who practiced leaping off the de_dust wall.
When he would jump,
A noise went "thump!"
And the headcrab began to fall.

heh, weird :combine:

There was once a mapper named Rimrook,
Who was related to royalty, the Marlborough Duke.
Nobody in TWHL thought it could be true,
Until they saw Rimrook on a golden pew.
One day Rimrook wrote a note,
It read, "This is Rimrook, it's time to vote."
And all the mappers made their choice.
"It's obvious!" A mapper yelled to his mother, Joyce.
And Rimrook was selected as the number one leader,
As he made a new map and called ns_breeder.
TWHL was happy, and all agreed.
Until shit went crazy, and we ran out of weed.
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 19:02:10 UTC Post #237759
There was a web monkey named Alex
Who originally came up with the Dalecs.
A shame then, for him
when perhaps on a whim
he pulled a fucking andy and disappeared
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 17 years ago2007-11-05 19:25:32 UTC Post #237760
Until shit went crazy, and we ran out of weed.
OH NO!!
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
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