Journal #7002

I played Buddhist Wars, that one random mod that epitomizes a half-assed effort without even trying to hide its own laziness.

This is the excellent story the team (calling themselves "Adrenaline Bawls") came up with: You join the war of a bunch of Buddhists against a Nazi garrison in a mayan ziggurat in the middle of nowhere.

The first map with action is, as I said, a mayan ziggurat in the middle of the Americas I presume. You arrive in a glitchy drop pod and witness a lag so atrocious that you have to look away. It is basically a large yard with a giant ziggurat in the center, and monsters dotted all around the map. Barneys fight nazi soldiers fight houndeyes, zombies, and headcrabs. Expect framerates to go rock bottom.

Your objective, which isn't given to you, is to climb to the top of the ziggurat, which has a hidden elevator for you to ride in. But Nazis have taken positions all around the temple and making your climb only a bit harder. It's easy. Why? Because the author(s) decided to make the mp5 deadly accurate. If you are looking to shoot with a kickass mp5, then this is your mod.

So, once you ride down the ziggurat's elevator, you arrive at an underground base infested with greenskins. Immediately 3 slaves prepare to zap you as soon as you arrive. Act fast or you will be reaching enlightenment faster than you can say "Siddhartha".

The greenskins are all grouped together in clumps at a time, which I don't think is the best way to design gameplay. Usually you will run into zombies backed by slaves, but the way they are placed lines up perfectly, meaning snap-to-grid placement and unfortunately for them, the slaves will friendly fire-kill the zombies. Good for me.

You arrive at a red Nazi Apache Helicopter (if that even exists) which magically teleports you to a "Nazi hangar" with a mass of black headcrabs (because there's no lighting.) Reminiscent of a mod called "Alien Blast", except in the hangar, r_speeds are as atrocious as the mayan ziggurat and you will lag. Do not fight the headcrabs. Just open the door and run the the next room

Filled with zombies. Oh, well, more exercise is healthy, right?

So you arrive at this badly-designed lift, which will get you stuck and then proceed to crush you to death. Slowly and painfully. Unless you jump right before the lift stops. If you can.

However even if you ragequit there, you won't miss anything except the ending. Where you stand aghast before a legion of Hitlers. Map loads, you fall thru black space, credits appear. Then you will know the true meaning of Enlightenment.