Journal #7909

I just played Dimquest. Now, I know what you're thinking. It's just a really long-ass steam chat. Well it's all very boring-looking, but it was one of the most difficult games I've ever played. I didn't even make it past the tutorial...

CHAPTER 1: The FLASHBACK of DEATH
DA Dimbark: Menu's ready.
DA Dimbark: Lemme set up the music and we'll be good to go.
DA Dimbark: You ready?
DA Dimbark: QUEST IS READY
Call from DA Dimbark started.
DA Dimbark: Answer the call.
Call with DA Dimbark ended.
DA Dimbark has ended the call.
DA Dimbark: ............
Call from DA Dimbark started.
DA Dimbark: 2MUCH
DA Dimbark: OFEHWGIOU
Call with DA Dimbark ended.
DA Dimbark has ended the call.
DA Dimbark: #T#&*(T(F&*#Q@H@#
Call from DA Dimbark started.
Call with DA Dimbark ended.
DA Dimbark has ended the call.
2muchvideogames: i was in bathroom
DA Dimbark: WHY NOT WARN ME
Call from DA Dimbark started.
DA Dimbark: Welcome... young one..
DA Dimbark: To the adventures of...
DA Dimbark: DIMQUEST
DA Dimbark: NEW OR LOAD
2muchvideogames: PALM >>> CARA
2muchvideogames: load
DA Dimbark: NO GAME TO LOAD
DA Dimbark: DIMQUEST
DA Dimbark: NEW OR LOAD
2muchvideogames: options
DA Dimbark: NEW OR LOAD
2muchvideogames: now
DA Dimbark: NEW SELECTED
DA Dimbark: Hello adventurer, what be thy name?
2muchvideogames: jack Atahualapa
DA Dimbark: Ah, young Jack.
DA Dimbark: Loading..
DA Dimbark: You open your eyes.
DA Dimbark: You're in the heat of marching battle.
DA Dimbark: You're in a small trench, armed to the teeth with the strongest of the king's armory.
DA Dimbark: Everything is in a blur as gray castle walls are to your left, a field is to the right, and three men stand before you.
2muchvideogames: i didn't know trenches were in medieval times
DA Dimbark: The men are all dressed in red armor with small dragons on them. Two of them hold spears, as one of them holds a broadsword.
DA Dimbark: To your side is your great longsword.
DA Dimbark: Are you ready to fight for your country?
2muchvideogames: aw dam now i wanna make an rpg maker game now
2muchvideogames: yes
DA Dimbark: Three men before you.
DA Dimbark: Soldier 1 steps forward and throws his spear at you.
DA Dimbark: HIT!
2muchvideogames: what
DA Dimbark: You are wounded.
DA Dimbark: Your turn!
DA Dimbark: You can
DA Dimbark: Attack
DA Dimbark: or
DA Dimbark: Use an Item
2muchvideogames: what items do i have
2muchvideogames: what is my equipment and shit
DA Dimbark: You have a potion and an old grenade.
DA Dimbark: You are unsure of your equipment as your vision is too blurry to look closely.
DA Dimbark: You don't even care--it's the heat of the battle!
DA Dimbark: Attack or Item?
2muchvideogames: no way i gotta know my weapon
DA Dimbark: In your hands it a longsword.
2muchvideogames: i cant rush forward if my weapon is like a crossbow
DA Dimbark: DA Dimbark: To your side is your great longsword.
DA Dimbark: DA Dimbark: The men are all dressed in red armor with small dragons on them. Two of them hold spears, as one of them holds a broadsword.
DA Dimbark: To your side is your great longsword.
2muchvideogames: why do i hav 2 swords
DA Dimbark: YOU HAVE ONE
DA Dimbark: Soldier 3 takes out his broadsword and strikes you with it. You have been struck diagonally across the chest.
2muchvideogames: gay i hate active time battle
2muchvideogames: i always play wait
DA Dimbark: Attack
DA Dimbark: or ]
DA Dimbark: Item?
2muchvideogames: can i switch to wait
DA Dimbark: SURE
DA Dimbark: Switched!
DA Dimbark: In the distance you hear a guitar playing.
2muchvideogames: dat hidden options
DA Dimbark: Attack
DA Dimbark: or
DA Dimbark: Item
2muchvideogames: whats hp
DA Dimbark: No worry for that right now.
2muchvideogames: unlimited hp?
2muchvideogames: lol ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK
DA Dimbark: Yes.
DA Dimbark: Because this is just a flashback.
2muchvideogames: wait
DA Dimbark: To get you used to the goddamn system.
2muchvideogames: that means i get killed
DA Dimbark: I HAVE YET TO GIVE YOU THE OPEN MENU YET
DA Dimbark: YOU RUINED IT
DA Dimbark: JUST FIEGHT
2muchvideogames: dam i dont wanna get killed in a flashback
2muchvideogames: maybe i keep waiting
DA Dimbark: Suddenly, the battle is stopped as you hear a guitar...
DA Dimbark: The soldiers look up as a swift man in a red cloak is playing guitar from above the castle walls...
DA Dimbark: He reveals an arrow and strikes you in your shoulder.. You fall over bloodied... as you are struck again in the stomach..
DA Dimbark: You're slowly dying on the battlefield...
2muchvideogames: i hate characters that succumb to plot device deaths
DA Dimbark: You cry out, "Is this what you meant? Nivas, have you forsaken me?"
DA Dimbark: The soldiers look over you.
DA Dimbark: One of them looks down to you, speaks.
2muchvideogames: "crap, he was gonna die anyway? He wasted 1 durability on my sword!"
DA Dimbark: "You aren't dead yet." He chuckles.
DA Dimbark: You are dragged away as several soldiers kick you..
DA Dimbark: Everything blurs as everything disappears into darknes...
2muchvideogames: Topside for questionin'
2muchvideogames: dude needed glasses in battle
2muchvideogames: everything is always blurry to him

---

CHAPTER 2: FIGHT TO THE DEATH
DA Dimbark: Are you gonna play this right
DA Dimbark: or just bitch about it making jokes?
DA Dimbark: You open your eyes..
2muchvideogames: i have not a slight idea whats going on what else should i doo
DA Dimbark: You're in a stone room, metal cell doors seeming to be the only way out. You're on a bench, stripped of most of your gear down to some ragged shorts... Across from the bench is a bucket filled with water.
DA Dimbark: http://www.yourworldoftext.com/2muchquest
2muchvideogames: eww
DA Dimbark: Use the link above as your score system.
2muchvideogames: d-district prison theme
DA Dimbark: You hear a shout from outside that echoes graciously, "Boss! The guy from Malgrove is awake!"
2muchvideogames: wheres my sword
DA Dimbark: Footsteps follow in the same pattern of echos as the man in the red cloak is before you.
2muchvideogames: i need some of that noclip pills hes got
DA Dimbark: He has a much better profile now: to his side is a greatsword, on his back a guitar, and to his other side a bow.
DA Dimbark: "Well, well, well," he says. "So, another soldier captured..."
DA Dimbark: He's looking at you through the bars.
DA Dimbark: "Well, say something!" he demands as his red eyes stare at you.
DA Dimbark: (DO SOMETHING?)
2muchvideogames: wheres my sword
DA Dimbark: You ask him where your sword is.
DA Dimbark: "What?" he asks sarcastically. "YOUR sword? It's now my sword.. part of my collection."
2muchvideogames: cool
2muchvideogames: sword collectors
DA Dimbark: He coughs.
DA Dimbark: "Malgrove scum.."
2muchvideogames: can i have basic clothes
DA Dimbark: He coughs loudly once more.
2muchvideogames: where can i get some plot exposition around here
DA Dimbark: "Why?" he asks you. "Don't be so demanding, or maybe I will throw you in the arena to be fucking killed by gladiators!"
DA Dimbark: Your exposition is..
DA Dimbark: All you can remember is getting hurt.
DA Dimbark: You have amnesia.
DA Dimbark: Now you are in jail.
2muchvideogames: way to have amnesia in battle, i must be a huge failure
DA Dimbark: You were struck in the head.
DA Dimbark: With somebody's foot
DA Dimbark: "Well," the warden begins speaking. "I supposed it's time for interrogation."
DA Dimbark: "But first, I just want your opinion on this cell room.."
2muchvideogames: how the fuck can i get interrogated if i have amnesia
DA Dimbark: ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING IN THIS GAME?
DA Dimbark: He doesn't know you have amnesia.
DA Dimbark: ROLEPLAY
2muchvideogames: i am
2muchvideogames: i'm a roleplaying someone whos got no idea whats going on
DA Dimbark: You're not doing anything.
DA Dimbark: You're asking me questions.
2muchvideogames: i'm in a freaking jail cell sure i can do anything i want
DA Dimbark: but you're doing nothing
DA Dimbark: if you're talking to him, say 'say'
2muchvideogames: prisoners cant do anything other than be silent and be told what to do
2muchvideogames: dur
DA Dimbark: "Well.." he says. "Not gonna say anything?"
2muchvideogames: i have no idea what the cell room is like
2muchvideogames: nothing to say..
DA Dimbark: I told you what it's like..
DA Dimbark: It's a stone room with one side made of bars, you're on a bench, and across from it is a bucket.
2muchvideogames: does the bucket heal my hp
DA Dimbark: You don't need healed.
DA Dimbark: YOu look at yourself to see you have a diagional strike going from your struck shoulder down to your stomach which has also been struck.
DA Dimbark: Some pretty nasty scars, but they look as if they've been treated.
2muchvideogames: and my sword is now hanging in somebody's trophy room
DA Dimbark: Do something dammit.
DA Dimbark: He wants you to talk.
2muchvideogames: i dont know shit say what
DA Dimbark: Make fun of him.
DA Dimbark: Tell him you don't know what he's talking about.
DA Dimbark: Say your name.
2muchvideogames: i remember doing that in the last game
2muchvideogames: i died.
DA Dimbark: Ask where youa re.
DA Dimbark: ???
DA Dimbark: SAY SOMETHING ALREADY
DA Dimbark: The warden opens the cell door, blocking it with himself.
2muchvideogames: moving on...
DA Dimbark: "You know what," he says. "Congratulations, you're a gladiatior."
DA Dimbark: He grabs onto your arms and forcible places handcuffs ony ou.
DA Dimbark: He leads you out of the cell, as you see an open area composed of three levels of cells similar to yours. Across from all of them are some very large windows and a small door. He goes through the door.
DA Dimbark: He's taken you through them to another part of the jail, a hallway. You pass three doors to the right until you make it to a fourth one. He shoves you through and locks the door behind you.
2muchvideogames: "I'm gonna kill u with ur sword, which in the near future, will be My sword!:
DA Dimbark: You're in a room with two doors across from each other, one of them locked. Inside is some very small gear: a dagger and a metal chestplate. It's very dimly lit with a torch.
2muchvideogames: "bitch you have no future."
DA Dimbark: There is a sign on the wall.
2muchvideogames: ABANDON YE HOPES AND DREAMS, AND PERISH IN THE NAME OF ENTERTAINMENT OF THE MASSES
DA Dimbark: No.
2muchvideogames: equip that stuff
DA Dimbark: IF YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE, TAKE THE ITEMS AND GO THROUGH THE DOOR ACROSS FROM THE ENTRANCE
DA Dimbark: You take the chestplate and the dagger.
DA Dimbark: Your torso is well prepared and a dagger is in your hand.
DA Dimbark: ARMOR + 40
DA Dimbark: You see the door across from the locked entrance.
2muchvideogames: go
DA Dimbark: You go through the door... geared up..
DA Dimbark: There is a crowd of people.
DA Dimbark: They begin cheering.
2muchvideogames: reminds me of goosebumps
DA Dimbark: It's a large arena: mostly composed of dirt except for the stone walls around at which the crowd watches.
2muchvideogames: just like in star wars
DA Dimbark: There's about 350 people there. Across in the arena you see the warden holding your sword. There's also a woman dressed in the same gettup, equipped with a mace.
2muchvideogames: lol on a glance i can tell theres 350 ppl
DA Dimbark: "People of Mihor!" cries the warden. "Tonight, we have two prisoners! Glacia and the unknown Malgrovian! The winner will get their freedom!"
DA Dimbark: The crowd cheers again.
2muchvideogames: oh no
DA Dimbark: "Battle!" the warden cries as e sits abck.
2muchvideogames: that means that lady already owned some bitches
2muchvideogames: maces are slow weapons so my speed dagger has the upper hand
DA Dimbark: The lady across from you walks to the center and whips out her mace, putting one hand out pointing at you.
2muchvideogames: i go first
DA Dimbark: Her face looks innocent, but also very upset.
DA Dimbark: You have to go to the center of the arena.
2muchvideogames: he aleady said battle
2muchvideogames: i'm running around the arena
DA Dimbark: But you're not near her.
DA Dimbark: No.
DA Dimbark: You're standing there.
2muchvideogames: i run around the arena
DA Dimbark: You run to the center of the arena prepared for battle. You get the first move.
DA Dimbark: You have three attacks:
2muchvideogames: ignored
DA Dimbark: Uppercuts
DA Dimbark: Slashes
DA Dimbark: and
DA Dimbark: Braver Strikes
DA Dimbark: Choose ne.
DA Dimbark: *Choose one.
2muchvideogames: the second one
DA Dimbark: You manage to run around and slash her diagonally. She stumbles back, hurt a bit. The crowd cheers.
2muchvideogames: backpedal
2muchvideogames: backpedal
2muchvideogames: backpedal
2muchvideogames: backpedal
DA Dimbark: She runs up at you and jumps into the air, throwing her sword into your chestplate! -28
2muchvideogames: i thought she had a mace
DA Dimbark: *MACE
2muchvideogames: also i backpedal so should miss
DA Dimbark: into your chestplate.
DA Dimbark: Your turn.
DA Dimbark: You can either attack.
DA Dimbark: Or use a specil action and then attack.
2muchvideogames: run around the arena and rush from about 9 o clock with an uppercut
DA Dimbark: You run around and miss with your uppercut.
2muchvideogames: this is dumb
DA Dimbark: How so?
2muchvideogames: basically if i say something u dont understand u ignore it
DA Dimbark: She leaps forward and bashes your armor with a mace. -24
DA Dimbark: How so?
DA Dimbark: You ran around and rushed at her.
DA Dimbark: But you missed.
2muchvideogames: how does that miss she standing still
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE
DA Dimbark: I roll dice.
2muchvideogames: and she jumps while i backpedal how does that miss
DA Dimbark: If the dice says you hit, you hit.
DA Dimbark: If it says you msis, you miss.
2muchvideogames: ur using a dice?
DA Dimbark: Yes
DA Dimbark: And with your special action, I added 1 point
2muchvideogames: thats still kinda dumb
DA Dimbark: Your turn>
DA Dimbark: She seems tired and weak.
2muchvideogames: defend
DA Dimbark: It may be a finishing blow--end it good for the crowd.
DA Dimbark: Are you sure?
2muchvideogames: yes
2muchvideogames: defend my ass
2muchvideogames: i dont give a shit about the crowd
DA Dimbark: You hold out your weapon to defend yourself and prance about a little bit.
DA Dimbark: She manages to break through your defenses and strike you. -17
DA Dimbark: *I made her have to roll a 5 or 6
DA Dimbark: She rolled a 6
DA Dimbark: But I made her attack weak.
DA Dimbark: er
2muchvideogames: shitty defend only blocks about 7 dmg
DA Dimbark: And she had to roll a 5 or 6.
2muchvideogames: do i still have that potion
DA Dimbark: No.
2muchvideogames: granade
DA Dimbark: She still looks tired.
DA Dimbark: YOu are young and strong.
DA Dimbark: You think they'd let you go into jail
DA Dimbark: with a grenade?
2muchvideogames: is she like 50 years
2muchvideogames: old
DA Dimbark: She's 38.
2muchvideogames: yes because nobody in medieval times know what a granade is
DA Dimbark: Just fight you fool!
DA Dimbark: It is your turn to make a move.
2muchvideogames: try to escape
DA Dimbark: You cannot escape from an arena! But you manage to get away from the circle.
2muchvideogames: what circle
DA Dimbark: The circle in the middle of the arena.
DA Dimbark: She follows you around the arena.
2muchvideogames: run around the side of the arena
2muchvideogames: again
2muchvideogames: RUN RUN RUN YO ASS
DA Dimbark: You run around, failing to evade her as she strikes you in the back! -26
2muchvideogames: how does a freaking 38 year old woman catch up to young muscular soldier dude
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE YOU ROLLED A ONE
DA Dimbark: Just throw the finishing blow already!
2muchvideogames: run faster dumbass
DA Dimbark: It's a fight to the death!
DA Dimbark: You speed up and continue running.
2muchvideogames: yes
2muchvideogames: moar running
2muchvideogames: now suddenly run towards the center of arena
DA Dimbark: You make it to the center as she comes back. It's a relatively easy place to access.
DA Dimbark: She lunges at you, but misses as she reveals a weakspot.
DA Dimbark: (Her armpit.)
2muchvideogames: suck
DA Dimbark: You run up to her armpit and begin sucking it.
2muchvideogames: the fuck
DA Dimbark: She slices at you. -26
DA Dimbark: You're dying..
2muchvideogames: what kind of dm are u
DA Dimbark: All is becoming blurry..
DA Dimbark: YOU SAID SUCK
2muchvideogames: fucknig me up
2muchvideogames: this will go down in best of steam chats
DA Dimbark: You're dying!
DA Dimbark: It's your move.
2muchvideogames: sit down
DA Dimbark: I said armpit.
DA Dimbark: You said suck.
2muchvideogames: that makes no sense
DA Dimbark: It's a verb.
DA Dimbark: Like saying attack.
2muchvideogames: u ignore the stuff i say to do and pick up stuff out of the blue
DA Dimbark: You take a seat. She aims her mace at you, "Do you give up?"
2muchvideogames: i get to give up?
2muchvideogames: i thought it was fight to death
DA Dimbark: It is.
DA Dimbark: She'll just strike your head off.
DA Dimbark: FINISH HIM
2muchvideogames: dur
2muchvideogames: i wish i had my sword
DA Dimbark: She wants the satisfaction of making it a theatrical moment
2muchvideogames: not this little dagger ass couldn't hit an elephant
DA Dimbark: Are you gonna finish her or what?
2muchvideogames: more like the other way
2muchvideogames: stand up and backpedal to the wall
DA Dimbark: You backpedal to the wall.
DA Dimbark: She comes your way and corners you.
2muchvideogames: then rush towards the door i entered from
2muchvideogames: open it
2muchvideogames: go in side
DA Dimbark: You go to the door. It's been locked!
2muchvideogames: pick the lock with teh dagger
DA Dimbark: As you start to, the woman nears you and several guards aim their bows at you.
DA Dimbark: This is your last turn!
2muchvideogames: why are there guards with bows
DA Dimbark: Stay idle and you'll be killed.
2muchvideogames: this match is rigged
DA Dimbark: How so?
2muchvideogames: like all ur quests...
DA Dimbark: You WERE winning.
DA Dimbark: How's it rigged?
2muchvideogames: too linear...
2muchvideogames: like there are stuff you EXPECT ur player to do, with no alternative approaches
2muchvideogames: its the same way with mods
DA Dimbark: Like what?
2muchvideogames: if you have a linear ass map it gets old fast
DA Dimbark: There are several alternative approaches.
DA Dimbark: THESE ARE MERELY TUTORIAL LEVELS
2muchvideogames: well for one this plot is parallel to the other one
DA Dimbark: Just win the goddamned match.
DA Dimbark: Get out of this jail.
2muchvideogames: a tutorial does not occur in life-threatening situation
DA Dimbark: Then you'll be in the open world of DimQuest.
2muchvideogames: its not a good tutorial..
DA Dimbark: So what about in Final Fantasy 9
DA Dimbark: The first battle is like a tutorial
2muchvideogames: tutorial is vivi wandering a town
DA Dimbark: No
DA Dimbark: It's fighting Baku
2muchvideogames: thats a match between friends
2muchvideogames: they dont really want to kill each other
DA Dimbark: How do you know this isn't?
DA Dimbark: Suddenly, everyone dissolves.
2muchvideogames: beacuse i lost my potion.
DA Dimbark: Before you, the woman takes off her mask to reveal she's a spirit trapped in an already dead body.
DA Dimbark: The warden says, "Alright.. that's enough.."
2muchvideogames: no wonder i did like no damage
DA Dimbark: He chuckles.
DA Dimbark: YOU ONLY HAD TO STRIKE HER ONE MORE TIME
2muchvideogames: dam if u gimme all this stuff i could prolly make a really good adventure
2muchvideogames: but i dont liek to bother with this stuff
DA Dimbark: YOU ARE IN JAIL
2muchvideogames: ONCE AGAIN
DA Dimbark: I DONT THINK THEY LET YOU KEEP EVERYTHING
DA Dimbark: THEY'LL GIVE IT BACK ONCE YOU LEAVE
2muchvideogames: wheres my potion and granade
DA Dimbark: THE WARDEN HAS IT
DA Dimbark: SAME WITH YOUR SWORD
2muchvideogames: gimme
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE
DA Dimbark: YOU'RE IN JAIL
DA Dimbark: YOU HAVE TO WIN THE MATCH
DA Dimbark: FORGET EVERYBODY DISSOLVING
DA Dimbark: GO BACK TO YOU BEING CORNERED
2muchvideogames: in any rpg theres always a way to jail break
2muchvideogames: or is there
2muchvideogames: ????
DA Dimbark: Your turn. The woman is there.
DA Dimbark: There are several ways.
DA Dimbark: All of them in the jail cell, that is.
2muchvideogames: chuck some feathers from the item store at here
DA Dimbark: But you've been inveitebly forced.
DA Dimbark: In the jail, you could've taken the bucket, and splashed the warden.
2muchvideogames: why
DA Dimbark: He would've dissolved, dropping his gear.
2muchvideogames: how
DA Dimbark: Because he is a Danedras.
2muchvideogames: oh of course
DA Dimbark: A vampire-witch.
2muchvideogames: water soluble creatures
DA Dimbark: And he would've told you if you spoke to him.
2muchvideogames: hhow could that not occur to me
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE
DA Dimbark: YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM TELL YOU
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT SIMPLY SAY
DA Dimbark: 'HELLO'
2muchvideogames: yes i'm like that in real life
DA Dimbark: THAT WOULD'VE BEEN ALL THE TUTORIAL YOU NEEDED
DA Dimbark: BUT NOOO
DA Dimbark: WE HAVE TO GO TO THE ARENA
DA Dimbark: SO JUST KILL THIS BITCH
DA Dimbark: AND GET YOUR FREEDOM
2muchvideogames: and get deus ex dissolations
2muchvideogames: so sadist
DA Dimbark: You're in an arena.
DA Dimbark: This is literally
DA Dimbark: the only time this kinda thing will happen
2muchvideogames: theres no water buckets here
DA Dimbark: unless
DA Dimbark: you get arrested again.
DA Dimbark: You know why?
DA Dimbark: BECAUSE ITS AN ARENA
2muchvideogames: get arrested again
2muchvideogames: for the fifth time
DA Dimbark: NOW THROW THE FINISHING BLOW
2muchvideogames: i dont like violence i'm a conscientious peace lover.
DA Dimbark: You were in the army.
2muchvideogames: somehow
2muchvideogames: but i forget everhitng
DA Dimbark: Then you're gonna be killed.
2muchvideogames: again
DA Dimbark: JUST TYPE
DA Dimbark: 'throw finishing blow'
2muchvideogames: thats too boring
2muchvideogames: run around the arena again
DA Dimbark: You run around as you are followed by the woman.
2muchvideogames: say 'stop stalking me'
DA Dimbark: "Die motherfucker!" she cries. She does not seem happy that she has to kill you, but she'll just about do it.
DA Dimbark: The warden cries aloud, "If one is not killed soon, both will be killed by my men!"
Call with DA Dimbark ended.
DA Dimbark has ended the call.
2muchvideogames: lol i need to meet more 38 year old women say 'DIE MOTHEFUCKER'
Call from DA Dimbark started.
DA Dimbark: Shit.
2muchvideogames: can u imagine
DA Dimbark: Pressed something
DA Dimbark: You're being chased
2muchvideogames: climb the arena walls
2muchvideogames: it cant be too high can it
DA Dimbark: The walls are too tall and smooth.
2muchvideogames: gay
DA Dimbark: An arrow bounces the wall next to you.
DA Dimbark: The woman corners you./
2muchvideogames: throw the dagger at the bowman
DA Dimbark: You throw it across the staidum, stricking the bowman
2muchvideogames: cool i hit him
DA Dimbark: You are hit by several other bows as you collapse...
2muchvideogames: WHAT
DA Dimbark: The warden is on the field... as he plays guitar before your weak body.
DA Dimbark: "No cheaters.." the warden says.
2muchvideogames: this make no friking sense
DA Dimbark: There are several bowmen defending the place.
2muchvideogames: u never said that before
2muchvideogames: u said one arrow
DA Dimbark: They're all in hiding.
DA Dimbark: In the crowd.
2muchvideogames: wating for their surprise buttsicks
2muchvideogames: and HELLLO
2muchvideogames: ARROW TO KNEE
2muchvideogames: and other places
2muchvideogames: So now i can say
DA Dimbark: He reveals his bladed shoe and strikes you in the head as all goes dark...
2muchvideogames: i used to be an adventurer
2muchvideogames: just like this guy
DA Dimbark: GAME OVER
2muchvideogames: AMEN.

---

CHAPTER 3: The PEACE of DEATH
DA Dimbark: Let's just play.
DA Dimbark: You wake up..
DA Dimbark: It was all just a bad dream..
2muchvideogames: i hate this plot device
DA Dimbark: You are the chief of security in the beautiful kingdom of Malgrove...
DA Dimbark: You're all sleepy and yawny.
DA Dimbark: You're in your bedroom, built into a rook of the castle Malgrover.
DA Dimbark: You're in your comfortable woolen bed, completely naked. You like to sleep in the nude. Across from you is a chest which probably has an outfit or two in it, and next to it is a stairway that goes down the rook.
2muchvideogames: oh no not one of these premonition dreams
2muchvideogames: i give up
DA Dimbark: Cmon
2muchvideogames: i leave malgrove on an adventure all by myself
DA Dimbark: You dreamt that you were captured by the enemy and killed in an arena.
2muchvideogames: i dont wanna be around when malgrove suckes the bucket
DA Dimbark: But the enemies were defeated many years ago.
DA Dimbark: Their empire was taken over by a group of anarchists making it free-roaming land.
2muchvideogames: they could pull a romulans and return from teh future
DA Dimbark: You're lying in bed.
DA Dimbark: The sun rises up as a shining light blinds you from the window.
2muchvideogames: no time to lie in bed it's off to an adventure
2muchvideogames: GO GO GO
2muchvideogames: forget the stuff
2muchvideogames: this sounds ff8
DA Dimbark: You stand up out of bed naked.
2muchvideogames: ish
2muchvideogames: its eyes on me
2muchvideogames: dur
DA Dimbark: NO
DA Dimbark: It's love grows.
2muchvideogames: or the julia one
DA Dimbark: Eyes on Me has lyrics.
2muchvideogames: they sound the same to me
DA Dimbark: As you stand up, you step on an old teddy bear on the floor.
DA Dimbark: You're at the top of the rook, your bedroom.
2muchvideogames: when can i leave
2muchvideogames: adventures await
2muchvideogames: quikckly
DA Dimbark: You head down the stairs naked.
2muchvideogames: yes good
2muchvideogames: just like austin powers
2muchvideogames: i got he powers
DA Dimbark: You go through several different twists down the pillar and to the bottom. A jester is there, blocking the door to the couryard.
DA Dimbark: He jumps and screams in confusion.
2muchvideogames: say move yo ass and keep going
DA Dimbark: "Sir, your balls are showing!" he cries.
DA Dimbark: He moves out of the way.
DA Dimbark: You go into the courtyard.
2muchvideogames: leave
DA Dimbark: You see another rook across from it, the gates out to the top of the hill, and the gates into the castle.
2muchvideogames: wheres the dragon gate
2muchvideogames: not to the castle
2muchvideogames: out of town
DA Dimbark: You go out the gate to the top of the hill loopily.
2muchvideogames: go outside
DA Dimbark: You see one hill leading down to the village, the other hill leading down to the docks.
DA Dimbark: Behind you is the castle.
2muchvideogames: sit down on the side of the road
DA Dimbark: You sit there naked.
DA Dimbark: Your testicals rest peacefully into the dirt.
2muchvideogames: say 'why must thy commands be so unfathomable to thee!"
DA Dimbark: You talk to your balls.
2muchvideogames: plant face into the dirt
DA Dimbark: They reply with, "I dunno." Or did you just imagine that.
DA Dimbark: You plant your face into the dirty dirt ground.
2muchvideogames: lose consciousness
DA Dimbark: You are autistic.
DA Dimbark: You go unconcious.
DA Dimbark: GAME OVER
2muchvideogames: cool
2muchvideogames: game over just like that

---

CHAPTER 4: The TRUTH BEYOND DEATH
DA Dimbark: I HAD SOME AWESOME STUFF FOR YOU
2muchvideogames: SO FUNNY
DA Dimbark: BUT YOU DIDNT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY
DA Dimbark: ASSHOLE
2muchvideogames: sorry
DA Dimbark: I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING SERIOUS
2muchvideogames: i'm not good roleplayer ever since...
2muchvideogames: that day...
DA Dimbark: ..the accident
2muchvideogames: that fateful day..
2muchvideogames: but that's another adventure all in itself
DA Dimbark: Let's roleplay that fateful day.
DA Dimbark: Loading..
2muchvideogames: coming soon on netflix
DA Dimbark: Your name is Jack.
2muchvideogames: how did u know
DA Dimbark: You're sitting at your computer, mapping.
2muchvideogames: alternative rpgs!
2muchvideogames: cool
DA Dimbark: You're in your room, the door is closed.
DA Dimbark: From downstairs you hear your folks arguing.
DA Dimbark: Your room is ont he top floor.
2muchvideogames: this better not end up like that dream i had with the garg in my closet
DA Dimbark: Suddenly, you hear a smashing at the door..
DA Dimbark: You hear a voice, "It's me..."
DA Dimbark: The door explodes.
DA Dimbark: Your father is there, dressed in metal shoulder armors.
2muchvideogames: RP feyvern
DA Dimbark: His waist to his feet are covered in a silk cloth, and his hair has been died gray. He grew it out.
DA Dimbark: In his right hand is a katana.
2muchvideogames: died gray
DA Dimbark: His hear is dead.
DA Dimbark: Limply on his head.
2muchvideogames: i never knew my dad was japanese
DA Dimbark: It was killed by 50 Shades of Grey
DA Dimbark: "Son.." he says as his eyes flash with energy.
2muchvideogames: too much perversions
2muchvideogames: DONT WATCH THAT MOVIE
2muchvideogames: MY SON
DA Dimbark: "We were playing Dungeons and Dragons, and we began arguing over the rules," he explains.
2muchvideogames: lol
DA Dimbark: "Why don't you join us with our roleplaying, son..."
2muchvideogames: my dad played DND
2muchvideogames: crazy
2muchvideogames: FYI this is not at all what happened
2muchvideogames: but sounds like it could be
2muchvideogames: hhaha
2muchvideogames: aa
DA Dimbark: "Son, there's a leak in the bathroom," he also says. "I think it's the valve."
2muchvideogames: hey
2muchvideogames: get ur own journal
DA Dimbark: For some reason, you say, "Why not tap it with a hammer?"
DA Dimbark: "Come," he says. "And roleplay."
2muchvideogames: ALOLOLOLOL
DA Dimbark: He walks down the stairs.
DA Dimbark: You feel hi energy force your legs painfully down the stairs as you sit at the table.
DA Dimbark: Your mother has an X on her chest, a bloodied X. She is dead.
DA Dimbark: Your father is across from you.
2muchvideogames: mind slave
2muchvideogames: like a mind slave
2muchvideogames: hilarious
DA Dimbark: "I battled her," he says. "We were at the Arena of the Warden fighting goblins, then I turned on her."
2muchvideogames: omg seriously
DA Dimbark: "I am a warrior of evil energy," he explains. "Who will you be?"
DA Dimbark: He shows you a dwarf figurine, an elf figurine, and a human figurine.
DA Dimbark: "Choose."
2muchvideogames: this is like that one creepy ass game
DA Dimbark: Your mother's corpse collapses onto the floor.
2muchvideogames: jumanji?
DA Dimbark: "Choose."
2muchvideogames: i choose to go back in my room to map
DA Dimbark: You feel his energy building tension in the room. It's like nothing is there except the table, the board game, you and your father, and the decorative DND box with an online password to some free deals on newer version.
DA Dimbark: You are bound to the chair by your father's tension.
DA Dimbark: "CHOOSE" he demands in a satanic voice.
2muchvideogames: say 'you need to see a doctor'
2muchvideogames: about that throat
DA Dimbark: "CHOOSE" he demands once more."OR DIE!"
2muchvideogames: say 'have u ever watched 'the exorcist'?"
DA Dimbark: Your hand flies in the name of his energy and points to the dwarf.
DA Dimbark: "You are Dwarnegon," he says. "Portrayer of paladins and master of good."
2muchvideogames: say 'hey
2muchvideogames: NO FAIR
2muchvideogames: U CANT CHOOSE FOR ME
DA Dimbark: Lightning surrounds the table as he laughs a demonic laugh.
DA Dimbark: "So," he chuckles playfully. "The Warden says, 'death will be given to the one who fails the winning of the dice!'"
2muchvideogames: say 'BUT U KNOW THAT EVIL WILL ALWAYS TRIUMPH BECAUSE GOOD IS DUMB'
DA Dimbark: Your father and you roll the dice, against your wills to the evil game.
2muchvideogames: dies
DA Dimbark: YOur father rolls a 2. You roll a 5.
2muchvideogames: i dont even know how to play this game
DA Dimbark: You take out your axe, and see your dwarven beard become bloodied as you stand up and strike you demonic father. Blood spills over the table as he lands next to your mother.
2muchvideogames: paranormal anxiety
DA Dimbark: All returns to normal as your mother and father lie dead on the ground.
DA Dimbark: You'll never roleplay again..
2muchvideogames: that was horrible
2muchvideogames: LOLOL

---

Chapter 5: The INCEPTION of DEATH
DA Dimbark: You wake up.
DA Dimbark: You had that stupid dream again.
2muchvideogames: it was all a dream in a dream in a dream
DA Dimbark: You're the leader of the Malgrovian military.
DA Dimbark: You're in your rook overlooking the courtyard, completely naked.
DA Dimbark: Across from your soft woolen bed is a chest with your items, next to it a stairway down the rook.
2muchvideogames: i'm playing a quest of me playing a board game in a dream of a quest
2muchvideogames: of me playing a board game in a dream of a quest of me playing a board game in a dream of a quest

I honestly do not believe anybody (with teh possible exception of a certain individual) could read the entire thing up to this point. If you read up to this point, Congratulations! That's about 3 hours of your life spent in my playthru of DimQuest. Until next time, friends! Your 3 hours is non-refundable.