Giant Dump

Posted 2 months ago2019-05-27 12:51:16 UTC
Rimrook RimrookGoldsource Guru
And it’s a real steamer.

So thing have been compounding for a little while and I should vent lest I go insane. I’ll keep the points short.

I’ve been battling severe depression but I’m on some antidepressants so I’m ok. I’ve been officially diagnosed with with it.

I also have been diagnosed with autism which explains a fuck lot.

Lyssa has not one but two anomalies in her brain and needs another craniotomy to fix so we’re doing that again. She’s in tremendous pain all the time now.

My job as an illustrator really sucks.

SMJ has a prototype build ready that tests underlying systems. Story for the demo is in the works but the whole game needs a rebuild on an updated version of the engine so it runs better and has more features. Long time coming. Also I can map while running the game which is a cool functionality.

If you think SMJ is near completion, it’s not. I don’t even have the first level. I’m still experimenting with every aspect. Gotta get it just right ya know?

I could use help. Anyone with writing experience or as a hobby, let me know. I should have the story solid before anything else and it’s loose at best.

So yeah things are rough but I’m feeling optimistic. I really need support in so many different ways right now :/

18 Comments

Commented 2 months ago2019-05-27 14:27:44 UTC Comment #102012
Always good to have a vent. Sorry to hear about everything that's going on, but every cloud has a silver lining as they say. Best of luck to Lyssa! Strange that you should mention being diagnosed with autism. We're pretty sure that's what is coming with our daughter...

Happy to hear you're still working on SMJ, and I'd be more than willing to help out with the story anyway I can. I have no professional writing experience, but I certainly enjoy it.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-27 19:39:16 UTC Comment #102017
Literally each and everyone of us can get diagnosed with Autism today.
In my case depression turned out to be not doing something yourself you know you can do yourself, it all spun around that.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-27 22:51:46 UTC Comment #102021
It seems that way these days, doesn’t it? But abnormal traits were observed by a peer and a neuropsychologist in the room with me. It was an up-to-date test and it turned out I was on the spectrum. There are simple things I can’t do that I need help with. The depression is so bad it’s chemical. This all happened in October, and I wouldn’t put it on the internet if I wasn’t sure.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-28 17:09:44 UTC Comment #102022
:) I hope you and Lyssa get well. Don´t give up.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-28 17:41:39 UTC Comment #102023
Sorry to hear all the news Ben. I hope y'all figure all this out. Life is already hard enough as it is amidst health issues. I hope Lyssa pulls through it and y'all figure everything out.

I almost took to the graphic design rout before myself but after doing a few free lancing jobs with it, I realized how picky people can be.

I work in the CAD Drafting industry and have for 5+ years now. It's very tough tedious work but I plan on shifting more towards the 3d side of things.

Currently learning Solidworks and Inventor.

I'll let you know how that goes, I know that's something you could easily do.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-28 23:17:22 UTC Comment #102026
Yeah I make less that 2k a year and I have dental work to get done and I’m in pain all the time and I can’t take pain meds because of drug interactions, but I also want to buy food. So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-28 23:29:35 UTC Comment #102027
Man that's tough... I'm sorry to hear that.

Hope everything goes well for both of you. You deserve it.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-29 00:49:26 UTC Comment #102028
Good luck to the both of you.

In my experience (I have an Asperger's AKA Autism Spectrum Syndrome diagnosis and know and have met lots of people with different neuropsychiatric diagnoses) it's common when one is first diagnosed with something like Autism to have some weird feelings about it. Sometimes shame and a fear of inferiority, sometimes pride and a sense of being smarter and better than neurotypicals. If, God forbid, you ever find yourself thinking in those kinds of tracks, it might help to remind yourself that your diagnosis doesn't define you, it just describes a few aspects of you. It can help you and others to understand you better, but it's just some papers and always remember that being one of the many people with the same diagnosis doesn't make you any less of an individual.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-29 10:35:42 UTC Comment #102029
in the modern society, where water is poisoned with fluoride, air and food hardly meets it's definitions, vaccines containing mercury and all kinds of bullshit around us, dont expect to be healthy or your children to be so. You know what to do. Whether it's conscious genocide or stupidity incarnated, its time to think about your function in this machine
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-29 15:09:07 UTC Comment #102030
Ok.

I don’t doubt that people are slowly evolving/mutating.

Potatis, that’s rather uplifting. Just wish there were options for me to improve our situation.

And thank you everyone for the support.
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-29 16:00:35 UTC Comment #102031
i do doubt it. I think it happens very fast. There's countless stories of small kids being perfectly healthy, able to walk and say a few words who lost all of it after a certain vaccine. And for antidepressants, I think its better to be an alcoholic and a chain smoker than an addict of antidepressants/anxiety drugs. But well you said your stuff and I said mine, i quit here
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-29 19:05:49 UTC Comment #102032
You need da medicine for da soul, man
Commented 2 months ago2019-05-30 20:03:25 UTC Comment #102033
Stojke that might be my long term treatment. I may get a medical cannabis card since it would actually treat three things in one.
Commented 2 months ago2019-06-02 13:39:53 UTC Comment #102041
Not that I would, but Mushrooms actually repair the constricted neurons in the frontal lobe that attribute to anxiety and depression as well as other things. I’d do well with just Medical Cannabis though.
Commented 2 months ago2019-06-02 20:55:18 UTC Comment #102043
Your body does the repairs, but it can also do them with out any of those too.
Commented 2 months ago2019-06-02 22:54:58 UTC Comment #102044
I am late to the discussion, but I am here--better late than never.

Sorry to hear about your recent plights. Life is never easy, but sometimes it's harder than others. I know things will get better, because that's also how life goes.

I am a behavioral pediatrician who helps kids with ADHD and autism. I just attended an autism convention that specifically addresses adults with autism dealing with depression and anxiety.

The keynote speaker at the convention was Steve Silberman, and I read his book NeuroTribes many years ago. It provides an updated and more nuanced perspective on autism. I highly recommend it.
Commented 2 months ago2019-06-03 01:16:39 UTC Comment #102046
I think I shall, good sir.

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