Proppa Story #1 - The Beginning [closed] Created 19 years ago2005-04-20 12:43:39 UTC by Archie Archie

Created 19 years ago2005-04-20 12:43:39 UTC by Archie Archie

Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 12:43:39 UTC Post #104947
Okay folks, they 'Story' series was a huge hit but got boring fast so im gonna start the new version - 'Proppa Stories'
Its a lot like the old Stories but in this there are strict rules -
1. Posts must be at least 2 sentances long.
2. No completely changing the subject, try to stick to the original plot.
3. Only a moderator or the person who starts the story may end it.
PROPPA STORY #1
THE BEGINNING

"I dont want to go to the dentist!" Jeffrey screamed.
"Shut up and get in the car!" said his mother, an Italian-american gangster named Fred.
"Okay, but it had better be quick!" Jeffrey mumbled, very aware of the P90 his mother was holding at his face.

On the way to the dentist
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 13:35:31 UTC Post #104966
the P90 misfired and took off Jeffery's mother's leg. Because the were so close to the denstist office, they decided to make the dentist do the surgery.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 14:24:38 UTC Post #104984
However, the dentist wasn't sure what to do about it (he's a dentist not a bloody nurse), and decided to test if the P90 was any use. He fired it at the detached leg, and reduced it to a very bloody mess. Then, a police car pulled up outside.
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 14:33:16 UTC Post #104988
"'Ullo 'ullo 'ullo, what's goin' on 'ere then", said the DC as he burst into the room, and I quote, "Gordon Bennet!". The dentist stumbled back against a worktop, clutching the P90 in shock, and Jeffrey's mother screamed as a burst of 5.7mm fire tore jagged holes in the ceiling, rocketing back toward the dentist.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 16:37:21 UTC Post #105016
"Oh 'amn" mumbled the bobby before rushing outside and calling for back-up...

Jeffrey and his mother laughed and the shocked dentist who was lying on the floor, jaw in a perminent gasp. He'd never be able to operate on teeth again.

Soon, a squad of 50 Police Cars
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 16:52:57 UTC Post #105021
sorrounded the laundry place next door. They were there under false information on somebody stealing someones puppy. They then got word that the Dentist office was starting to smell like almonds.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 22:17:24 UTC Post #105053
They desparately needed almonds for their almond-flavored coffee, so they quickly broke down the door in a search for more almonds. But in addition to the almonds they also found
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-20 22:34:49 UTC Post #105054
...more 5.7 clips and a pistol (I never told you if it was empty or not :o ).

"Hey, does anyone have a lot of pockets?" one of them asked.
"Err...nope," replied the others.

The one who asked sighed. He knew he needed to pick either one. He needed the either 5.7 clips or the pistol, and they needed the almonds for the coffee, but he only had one empty pocket for only one item. Either the 5.7 clips, the pistol, or the almonds.

"This is a tough decision," the one who asked started. "But, I'll say that I will..."
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-21 01:49:52 UTC Post #105075
"slip the almonds inside the empty clip already in the pistol, swallow it, raise my right leg, and flee the country". The other police officers gasped in suprise as he did just that.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-21 13:46:49 UTC Post #105149
"wow..." Said the first police man, "I was just joking."

Meanwhile, Jeffrey and his mother were

(i dread to see whats next)
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-21 13:50:07 UTC Post #105151
pleasuring eachother with their toungs. This is the way their ancestors did when someone was injured.

They then realised the cops were there. They quickly put on their pants and attempted to get into their car un-noticed. They then realised that the mother's leg was still on the dentist office floor.

(you asked for it hunter.)
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-21 15:43:54 UTC Post #105173
They didnt have much time. Should they risk running for the leg or simply take the safe route back to the car?

"
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-21 18:22:36 UTC Post #105220
I have an idea!" yelled Jefferey. "Lets simply get into this broom closet!"
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 03:06:55 UTC Post #105242
"What would that achieve, ya little shit?" asked his mother
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 03:20:02 UTC Post #105245
Infuriated, Jeffrey grabbed the P90 from the side and fired the last ten rounds into his mother.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 04:54:33 UTC Post #105248
Blood and brain matter splattered against the wall with a meaty 'slap'! The cops, having heard the shot, began to pursue Jeffery.

"
monster_urby monster_urbyGoldsourcerer
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 06:23:36 UTC Post #105262
KILL THE CHILD! WASTE HIM!"
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 07:05:10 UTC Post #105263
...And so they started firing.

under the pressure Jeffrey got so scared that his anal muscles relaxed and let loose 2 months of built up crap, so much infact, that it created a mountain beneath his feet which was tall enough to raise him above the cops bullets.

"I said waste him not make him waste!" shouted the cop
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 11:37:06 UTC Post #105288
before another cop shot him through the cranium for the appauling poor humour.
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 12:50:07 UTC Post #105293
Jeffrey decided that this was all too much so he pulled out a random
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 13:12:50 UTC Post #105297
Afghan banana stand with the optional extra
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 16:29:29 UTC Post #105320
cruise control for long journeys. However, much to his dissapointment, he realised that this was not auto-pilot
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 16:38:31 UTC Post #105323
but a stupid nanner pilot which didnt work properly.

Jefferey began to panic. He started jumpimg up and down. Finally, his head hit the ceiling panel which then fell on the floor.

Jeferey looked into the ceiling. "Oh my god... theres has to be at least a million of these small
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 16:58:27 UTC Post #105331
roof insulator shaped objects.... I wander what they are..." he paused at the thought of possibility.

The police outside were massing. This was getting tough.
Finally he had an idea. He would steall all the roof insulator shaped objects then hide in
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 17:01:45 UTC Post #105332
in the trash bin.

He got in and got ready. THe police broke through the door.

The police soon spooted him and and he 'brought in'.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 17:07:50 UTC Post #105334
At the police station, a newbie cop was given the job of interrogating Jeffrey. He walked down the silent corridoor until he came to room # 123 and he opened the door
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 17:12:14 UTC Post #105336
when Barney suddenly popped out and bopped him on the nonce. "Sorry if I scared you, Gordon, I'm still on my shift and there were cameras everywhere back there. Gimme a minute while I
Seventh-Monkey Seventh-MonkeyPretty nifty
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 18:36:20 UTC Post #105360
fix my wedgie."

Then barney punched a few buttons on his robotic arm and toy tank came out of the wall.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 19:10:26 UTC Post #105371
This toy tank ended up being a remote control spy unit.
They then used this to look into a very small shaft and into the next room to see what was in there, which was......
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-22 20:22:53 UTC Post #105374
the set of a porno movie. But thats a different story.

Barney then said: "Nice veiw eh? But this ill be seen later"

"right now,
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 06:11:37 UTC Post #105428
we need to interrogate this 'jeffrey'... i bet he's a double agent spy..." Barney rambled on as they opened another door into a bright white, padded cell with a metal table in the middle.
Jeffrey was
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 06:41:15 UTC Post #105432
...jerking of to a copy of "Playboy".
Jeffery was so suprised that he...
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 06:54:09 UTC Post #105433
lost his sense of direction and hit his shoulder off one of the padded walls, causing much panic.
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:11:08 UTC Post #105453
THere was bllod every where. THen he began screaming: "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!"
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:14:30 UTC Post #105455
the bllod was seeping into the cracks between the bricks on the walls and forming nasty words...

"OH MY GOD!" Screamed Barney, "The bllod is everywhere!"

"What the hell is bllod?" Asked gordon
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:17:27 UTC Post #105456
"What do you think? He was just whacking off..."
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:42:51 UTC Post #105466
said Barney.

Suddenly, a masked man appeared in the doorway.
He was laughing manically and
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:46:02 UTC Post #105469
eating a bowl of cheerios.

"stand back, its got 3 types of berry in it, and its made from corn, oats, rice and wheat!" shouted barney to the occupants of the room. but it was no use, everyone was killed by the healthy cereal, except for jefferey, who survived by holding on to a windmill, some 300 kilometres away.
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:51:37 UTC Post #105471
Jeffery was like: "Slap my bitch up!"

Then he back handed the masked man.

The masked man's mask fell off revealing an ugly old man that smelled like curly fries.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 09:58:30 UTC Post #105473
"You knows it", said the old man, as he
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 10:00:08 UTC Post #105474
put on some brass knuckles and took off his pants.

He did this because murders gave him sexual pleasure.
(like the werid move Gangster NO. 1)
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 16:53:37 UTC Post #105524
Anyway, realising the he had escaped the cops, Jeffrey decided to go back to his house which was situated in
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 17:21:03 UTC Post #105535
the heart of Paris.

Being in Los Angelous, he had to catch a plane. He went to the airport driving a stolen cab whos driver was "asleep" in the trunk.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 18:26:52 UTC Post #105551
Security was lapse and Jeffrey easily boarded the LA -> LUXEMBOURG flight.

It was then he remembered that he lives in Paris.

But it was too late, the plane took off.

On the plane he met
Archie ArchieGoodbye Moonmen
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 18:59:32 UTC Post #105556
a hot young luxembourgian girl, who taught him the ways of the world, and the bonds and desires of life. their classroom was the toilet on the plane, and their no-holds barred, rampant sex was too good for metaphors.
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 20:25:27 UTC Post #105558
While being too good to be placed in metaphorical terms results in images only suitable for one-handed typing, Jeffrey had not yet learned the importance of protection (Oh noez!!~) Eight months, twenty-one days, thirteen hours, five minutes, eleven seconds (measurements of time and matter past this point are extremely trivial, you see), young Billy was born, in a remote farm house thirteen miles from the nuclear power plant.
RabidMonkey RabidMonkeymapmapmapfapmap
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-23 20:43:31 UTC Post #105562
Becasue of his ditsnce from the power plant, he had 4 legs.

His nick name was "leggy".

Jefferey didnt like his son much. He often
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-24 06:32:33 UTC Post #105599
forced mouldy pizza into his mouth, and forced him to watch the Bill Clinton inauguration speech over and over again.
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-24 06:56:25 UTC Post #105602
As Billy grew up, he started to hate his father. He vowed to extract revenge for the way he had been treated.
Billy had also become sickly obsessed with Bill Clinton, so one night he snuck out and went looking for Clinton, he found him in..
Posted 19 years ago2005-04-24 07:12:07 UTC Post #105606
...the bedroom. Hurriedly he grabbed his shoulders, pulled him down onto the bed, slowly ripping off his...

(thanks to Monty Python for the idea)
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