Jahzel's Useless Quiz
Answer each question correctly and you may* be awarded.
1. How many white squares are there on a surfboard?
A. 11.
B. 65.
C. 332.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
A. Sir Francis Bacon.
B. Sir Francis Dashwood.
C. Sir Cliff Richard.
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
A. 3.
B. 27.
C. 38.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
A. Neil Armstrong.
B. Luke Skywalker.
C. Buzz Lightyear.
5. Which of the following are you likely to find in a castle?
A. A Pony and traps.
B. A 24-Piece Orchestra.
C. A Switchboard.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
A. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
B. Drive into a lake.
C. Sunbathe.
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
A. 12.
B. 17.
C. 132.
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
A. 27.
B. 102.
C. 1002.
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
A. 1.
B. 9.
C. 5.
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
A. Opera.
B. Jazz.
C. Reggae.
*Subject to availability. Can not guarantee success.
Oh No! It Couldn't be!? Not another.
Created 20 years ago2004-07-12 15:52:03 UTC by
Jahzel
Created 20 years ago2004-07-12 15:52:03 UTC by
Jahzel
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 15:52:03 UTC
Post #40733
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 16:21:36 UTC
Post #40743
Ok, just to remind you that there IS a prize, a link...
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 16:44:08 UTC
Post #40750
1: A
2: B
3: A
4: C (Thats how he thinks he can fly!)
5: B
6: C
7: C
8: B
9: A
10: C
oh geez, I hope The teacher thinks I didn't cheat!
2: B
3: A
4: C (Thats how he thinks he can fly!)
5: B
6: C
7: C
8: B
9: A
10: C
oh geez, I hope The teacher thinks I didn't cheat!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 17:12:41 UTC
Post #40755
1:C
2:C
3:A
4:B
5:A
6:C
7:C
8:A
9:B
10:C
2:C
3:A
4:B
5:A
6:C
7:C
8:A
9:B
10:C
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 17:22:06 UTC
Post #40759
1. How many white squares are there on a surfboard?
One.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
Sir Basil Fawlty
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
The equal amount of the local rats.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
Donald D.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
Claim there's penguins up north (damn you mtve)
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
Depends on mp/h.
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
C. 1002.
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
All of them
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
Gospel / 80's glam
One.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
Sir Basil Fawlty
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
The equal amount of the local rats.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
Donald D.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
Claim there's penguins up north (damn you mtve)
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
Depends on mp/h.
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
C. 1002.
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
All of them
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
Gospel / 80's glam
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 17:34:18 UTC
Post #40766
Sir Basil Fawltylol, John Cleese is funney, or however you spell his last name.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 18:33:09 UTC
Post #40794
the answer for all of them, strangly, is C!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 20:02:03 UTC
Post #40834
Question number four is the stupidest question I have ever seen!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 20:18:49 UTC
Post #40838
1-Are there even white squares on surfboards? I don't surf, I wouldn't know.
2-Bacon. Mmm....bacon.
3-There are exactly 27 airports on all desert islands. It's standard protocol, everyone should know that.
4-Buzz, duh!
5-None of the above. You'd likely find me in the castle, running around blindly in a white sheet and chains going 'Get the hell out of my castle, fools! It's mine! All mine!'
6- It's illegal to drive into lakes. The car engine would melt all the ice and create a giant flood and the world would be doomed because of you.
7-132 exactly.
8- Chocolate is equivalent to 102, but only if C>5, which means MC*5 to the third power of 42 equals 102.
9-9, but only if I try and light them all first.
10- Opera.
Seeing that I am correct in all of my answers, I deserve to be awarded
.
2-Bacon. Mmm....bacon.
3-There are exactly 27 airports on all desert islands. It's standard protocol, everyone should know that.
4-Buzz, duh!
5-None of the above. You'd likely find me in the castle, running around blindly in a white sheet and chains going 'Get the hell out of my castle, fools! It's mine! All mine!'
6- It's illegal to drive into lakes. The car engine would melt all the ice and create a giant flood and the world would be doomed because of you.
7-132 exactly.
8- Chocolate is equivalent to 102, but only if C>5, which means MC*5 to the third power of 42 equals 102.
9-9, but only if I try and light them all first.
10- Opera.
Seeing that I am correct in all of my answers, I deserve to be awarded
.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 20:54:15 UTC
Post #40840
1. How many white squares are there on a surfboard?
D. nine and a half.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
D. all wrong, cavemen discovered it as one of them cut his finger
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
D. none, only a teleporter to the nearest coctail bar.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
A. Neil Armstrong, as he 'walked' the. yeees neil, you're the man, the one and only, sut up now or i'll really send you to the moon.
5. Which of the following are you likely to find in a castle?
D. bowser.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
D. eating phrosen fish
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
D. only one
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
D. e^(pi*i) (mathy people can tell which number this is)
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
D. five and one hlf burned down
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
D. KKND. Krush Kill 'N Destroy.
D. nine and a half.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
D. all wrong, cavemen discovered it as one of them cut his finger
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
D. none, only a teleporter to the nearest coctail bar.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
A. Neil Armstrong, as he 'walked' the. yeees neil, you're the man, the one and only, sut up now or i'll really send you to the moon.
5. Which of the following are you likely to find in a castle?
D. bowser.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
D. eating phrosen fish
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
D. only one
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
D. e^(pi*i)
(mathy people can tell which number this is)9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
D. five and one hlf burned down
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
D. KKND. Krush Kill 'N Destroy.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 21:33:15 UTC
Post #40849
D. all wrong, cavemen discovered it as one of them cut his fingerwoah! you've heard of me! I thought that this would never come up!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 21:55:54 UTC
Post #40858
1:10^27
2:Sir bleeds alot
3:a number equel to pi^i
4:Duke Nukem
5:Me with a gun shoot at rabidmonkey to get him out of my castle.
6:set off a nukelear device for non terror related reasons
7:a number equel to the number of elderly people in that same mile
8:Choclate is equel to o because the worlds suppy of choclate would be diminished by my mouth
9: x number would migrate south earch year.
10: marching songs
i think i got them all
2:Sir bleeds alot
3:a number equel to pi^i
4:Duke Nukem
5:Me with a gun shoot at rabidmonkey to get him out of my castle.
6:set off a nukelear device for non terror related reasons
7:a number equel to the number of elderly people in that same mile
8:Choclate is equel to o because the worlds suppy of choclate would be diminished by my mouth
9: x number would migrate south earch year.
10: marching songs
i think i got them all 
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 22:05:23 UTC
Post #40859
No no no! The cavemen were english! Cliff Richard was actually a Caveman, although his unfortunate discovery of red paint is correct.
And it's my castle, M_gargantua, and you'll never take it away from me!! NEVER!!!
And it's my castle, M_gargantua, and you'll never take it away from me!! NEVER!!!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 22:10:02 UTC
Post #40863
BUT IT WILL BE MINE! CHAARRRRGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 22:31:21 UTC
Post #40870
NEVER!!!! YOU SHALL BE DEFE..[trips on yet another of these rocks that seem to spring up all over the place and flys out a window]
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-12 23:17:15 UTC
Post #40894
As for Cliff Richards being a caveman, decide for yourself:
http://www2.b3ta.com/spot-the-clifference/
http://www2.b3ta.com/spot-the-clifference/
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 02:33:12 UTC
Post #40925
haz!: is that a number at all?
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 08:24:25 UTC
Post #40968
It is!
A signed integer.
One hint: 'i' is the root of it.
A signed integer.
One hint: 'i' is the root of it.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 09:23:31 UTC
Post #40976
Well considering none of you managed to get any of the correct answers, I'll give you all the link:
www.dogsincars.com
www.dogsincars.com
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 09:25:00 UTC
Post #40977
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 10:25:34 UTC
Post #40987
so...? Check this out!
http://www.swervepictures.com/monkey.htm
THIS IS THE FIGHT OF THE LIFETIME! DONT MISS!
http://www.swervepictures.com/monkey.htm
THIS IS THE FIGHT OF THE LIFETIME! DONT MISS!
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 12:08:27 UTC
Post #41005
Your avatar is fckng hilarious! 
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 12:11:43 UTC
Post #41006
Anyway...
___________________________________________________________
Part Two of Jahzel's Useless Quiz
1. How many fingertips are there in one gallon?
A. 1.
B. 22.
C. 333.
2. Lizards are usually made of jelly. If a lizard were not made of jelly, what would it be made of?
A. A lizard.
B. Jelly.
C. Tungsten.
3. In literature, Barney the Dinosaur is the author of which classic novel?
A. Pride and Prejudice.
B. The Withered Arm.
C. Spot the Dog.
4. Which tropical fruit grows in the House of Commons?
A. Star fruit.
B. Kiwi.
C. Banana.
5. Which famous artist is responsible for the famous ?Mona Lisa? portrait?
A. Stephen Hawking.
B. Princess Anne.
C. Chris Waddle.
6. An aquatic animal is usually found living in water. Where would a non-aquatic animal be found?
A. Water.
B. Underground.
C. Just down the road.
7. Prince Phillip can be described as a creature of the night. What would Prince Charles be described as?
A. A creature of the night.
B. A creature of the day.
C. A soup of the day.
8. Which of the following would you find living in your home?
A. You.
B. Bilbo Baggins.
C. Christopher Reeves.
9. Blink 182 are famous for inventing which household appliance?
A. The refrigerator.
B. The broomstick.
C. The urinal.
10. Which of the following narcotics would normally be sold in Post Offices?
A. LSD.
B. Ecstasy.
C. Tranquillisers.
___________________________________________________________
Part Two of Jahzel's Useless Quiz
1. How many fingertips are there in one gallon?
A. 1.
B. 22.
C. 333.
2. Lizards are usually made of jelly. If a lizard were not made of jelly, what would it be made of?
A. A lizard.
B. Jelly.
C. Tungsten.
3. In literature, Barney the Dinosaur is the author of which classic novel?
A. Pride and Prejudice.
B. The Withered Arm.
C. Spot the Dog.
4. Which tropical fruit grows in the House of Commons?
A. Star fruit.
B. Kiwi.
C. Banana.
5. Which famous artist is responsible for the famous ?Mona Lisa? portrait?
A. Stephen Hawking.
B. Princess Anne.
C. Chris Waddle.
6. An aquatic animal is usually found living in water. Where would a non-aquatic animal be found?
A. Water.
B. Underground.
C. Just down the road.
7. Prince Phillip can be described as a creature of the night. What would Prince Charles be described as?
A. A creature of the night.
B. A creature of the day.
C. A soup of the day.
8. Which of the following would you find living in your home?
A. You.
B. Bilbo Baggins.
C. Christopher Reeves.
9. Blink 182 are famous for inventing which household appliance?
A. The refrigerator.
B. The broomstick.
C. The urinal.
10. Which of the following narcotics would normally be sold in Post Offices?
A. LSD.
B. Ecstasy.
C. Tranquillisers.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 16:43:10 UTC
Post #41104
1: C
2: A
3: C
4: B
5: A
6: C
7: C
8: A (its true! He Does!)
9: C
10: A
2: A
3: C
4: B
5: A
6: C
7: C
8: A (its true! He Does!)
9: C
10: A
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 17:22:50 UTC
Post #41106
1: It depends.
2: Lizards are always made of jelly. Nothing more, nothing less.
3: A.
4: B.
5: Was Princess Anne even an artist?
6: Down the road. In the house third from the right. Knock first.
7: Mmm.....Charles Soup.
8: Neither, again. You keep leaving out the option of 'RabidMonkey in a white sheet and chains walking around drunkenly saying 'Get the hell out of my castle, fools!".
9: Is a broomstick an appliance?
10: Tranquilizers. They often use them on me when I'm trying to mail my packages.
2: Lizards are always made of jelly. Nothing more, nothing less.
3: A.
4: B.
5: Was Princess Anne even an artist?
6: Down the road. In the house third from the right. Knock first.
7: Mmm.....Charles Soup.
8: Neither, again. You keep leaving out the option of 'RabidMonkey in a white sheet and chains walking around drunkenly saying 'Get the hell out of my castle, fools!".
9: Is a broomstick an appliance?
10: Tranquilizers. They often use them on me when I'm trying to mail my packages.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 20:33:48 UTC
Post #41141
1. How many fingertips are there in one gallon?
Stupid answer!?
2. Lizards are usually made of jelly. If a lizard were not made of jelly, what would it be made of?
Stupid question - concrete.
3. In literature, Barney the Dinosaur is the author of which classic novel?
Bob the ball
4. Which tropical fruit grows in the House of Commons?
Popcorn
5. Which famous artist is responsible for the famous ?Mona Lisa? portrait?
AfroMan (he was high)
6. An aquatic animal is usually found living in water. Where would a non-aquatic animal be found?
Various liquids, mainly milk
7. Prince Phillip can be described as a creature of the night. What would Prince Charles be described as?
A pale donkey
8. Which of the following would you find living in your home?
Smaug
9. Blink 182 are famous for inventing which household appliance?
10. Which of the following narcotics would normally be sold in Post Offices?
Stamps...
Stupid answer!?
2. Lizards are usually made of jelly. If a lizard were not made of jelly, what would it be made of?
Stupid question - concrete.
3. In literature, Barney the Dinosaur is the author of which classic novel?
Bob the ball
4. Which tropical fruit grows in the House of Commons?
Popcorn
5. Which famous artist is responsible for the famous ?Mona Lisa? portrait?
AfroMan (he was high)
6. An aquatic animal is usually found living in water. Where would a non-aquatic animal be found?
Various liquids, mainly milk
7. Prince Phillip can be described as a creature of the night. What would Prince Charles be described as?
A pale donkey
8. Which of the following would you find living in your home?
Smaug
9. Blink 182 are famous for inventing which household appliance?
Stamps...
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 22:26:13 UTC
Post #41160
Stamps are narcotics?
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-13 23:27:01 UTC
Post #41177
Your saying link 182 invented the dildo? your a sick little child.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 07:26:32 UTC
Post #41270
i bet they did, FrEaCks! like my cat!
and stamps can get you high, i swear....
and stamps can get you high, i swear....
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 09:32:45 UTC
Post #41283
my friend eat coffee beans ones, his nose started to bleed.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 09:39:20 UTC
Post #41286
Why because of the coffee beans? Man that's more disturbing than the answers I got.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 12:32:30 UTC
Post #41318
1. How many white squares are there on a surfboard?
The answer is equal to the number of sharks that have bitten the board.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
I did.
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
As many as the US government can fit on and say its a tourist resort.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
Rokkopov Volinskinov He was a Russian Cosmonaught that crashed into a columbian feild.
5. Which of the following are you likely to find in a castle?
Me ordering the gaurds to exacute you for trespassing.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
It is illegal to breath without steam breath, the penalty is death.
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
Raphiel, Michle angelo and Donnatello, Leonardo had to catch up.
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
3,8,15,3,15,12,1,20,5
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
As many as my invincible army of cyborg ants can carry south!
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
Cowerdice, Features such teacks as "AHHH THERE WITHIN TEN MILES OF US! RETREAT!" and "STAY ABOVE 30,000 FEET BOYS, WE DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW ITS US DROPPING THE BOMBS!"
The answer is equal to the number of sharks that have bitten the board.
2. Which famous Englishman discovered red paint?
I did.
3. How many airports are there on a desert island?
As many as the US government can fit on and say its a tourist resort.
4. Which famous astronaut discovered cocaine?
Rokkopov Volinskinov He was a Russian Cosmonaught that crashed into a columbian feild.
5. Which of the following are you likely to find in a castle?
Me ordering the gaurds to exacute you for trespassing.
6. In Antarctican law, it is illegal to carry out which of the following?
It is illegal to breath without steam breath, the penalty is death.
7. How many turtles are there in one mile?
Raphiel, Michle angelo and Donnatello, Leonardo had to catch up.
8. According to Pythagoras, chocolate is equal to which other numeric value?
3,8,15,3,15,12,1,20,5
9. How many candlesticks would normally migrate south each year?
As many as my invincible army of cyborg ants can carry south!
10. The US Army is famous for which style of music?
Cowerdice, Features such teacks as "AHHH THERE WITHIN TEN MILES OF US! RETREAT!" and "STAY ABOVE 30,000 FEET BOYS, WE DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW ITS US DROPPING THE BOMBS!"
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 13:45:53 UTC
Post #41332
Sir Basil Fawlty is John Cleese...
1: A
2: A
3: A
4: A
5: A
6: A
7: A
8: A
9: A
10: A
Ever occurred to you that (I think) all the answers are A, and that half the questions aren't possible to answer, so I just said A to piss you off ?
1: A
2: A
3: A
4: A
5: A
6: A
7: A
8: A
9: A
10: A
Ever occurred to you that (I think) all the answers are A, and that half the questions aren't possible to answer, so I just said A to piss you off
?
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 15:30:47 UTC
Post #41356
lol, Fawlty towers was funney, but only like 12 ones were made. all classics. you can rearange fawlty towers to make farty towels.
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 17:15:50 UTC
Post #41381
... 
Posted 20 years ago2004-07-14 18:56:10 UTC
Post #41408
and stamps can get you high, i swear....If you lick them enough, I assume.
"Homer, are you licking frogs again?"
You must be logged in to post a response.