Christmas Is almost here! Created 19 years ago2004-11-22 14:37:52 UTC by Unbreakable

Twas the night before christmas Nicholas by C. Thomas, in Legalese
Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possesors of this potential, including the species of domestic rodent known as Mus Musculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric appratus pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of Saint Nicholas.

The prepubesent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated friut confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.

My conjugal partner and I, attired in our noctunal head coverings were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source therof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this fenestration. Noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself. Thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyence, drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer.

Piloted by a miniscule aged chauffer so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me thathe was indeed our anticipated caller.

With his ungulate motive power traveling at what may have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vorcified loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen: "Now Dasher, now Dancer", et al..

Guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities. As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a 180 degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by the way of the smoke passage.

He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblence to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle. His orbs were scilliant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability.

The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal protuberance were engorged with blood which suffused in subcutaneous layers, the former approxamating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the later that of the Prunus Avium, or Sweet Cherry.

His amusing sub- and supra-labials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small tabular and columnar crystals being.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose gray fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.

His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.

He was, in short, neither more or less than obese, jocund, multigenarial gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refain from so being.

By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head to one side he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the afore-mentioned hosiery with various of the afore-mentioned articles of merchandise extracted from his afore-mentioned previously dorsally transported cloth recepticle.

Upon completion of his task, he executed an abrupt about face, placed a singular manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactary organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating, in reverse, the smoke passage.

He propelled himself in short vector onto his conveyence, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hithro observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed.

But I overheard his parting exclamation, audibly immediatly prior to his vahiculation beyond the limits of visibility:

"Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self-same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable preiod between sunset and dawn!"

---> http://www.nolan78.freeserve.co.uk/humour/Political/Political%20Quotes.htm

finally! a christmas greeting i understand!

lol, unbreakable.

Merry Christmas!!!

Gay Winter.. GAY SNOW.. GAY COLD

wow Unbreakable, you have way too much time on your hands...

MEEEERRYYY CHRISTMMASSSSS...

copy and paste?

uhhh..noooo I put it all together myself--(Thesaurus..lol) lol..(joking)

Yep I cut & paste.

lol

ITS ALMOST A MONTH TO CHRISTMAS, F**K OFF

i like snow, I'm a Viking...!

No, you're a sissy ?verklass barn. sit down and h?ll k?ften.

Blink 182 - I Won't Be Home For Christmas - (3:15)

(Deck the halls with boughs of holly
fa la la la la, la la la la
tis the season to be jolly
fa la la la la, la la la la)

Outside the carolers start to sing
I can't describe the joy they bring
cause joy is something they don't bring me

My girlfriend is by my side
from the roof are hanging sickles of ice
their whiny voices get irritating
It's Christmas time again

So I stand with a dead smile on my face
wondering how much of my time they'll waste
oh God, I hate these Satan's helpers

And then I guess I must have snapped
because I grabbed the baseball bat
and made them all run for shelter

It's Christmas time, again
It's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all year
I'm growing tired of all this Christmas cheer

You people scare me
please stay away from my home
If you don't want to get beat down
just leave the presents and then leave me alone
______________________________________

I would post the rest, but I believe that would be spamming.
Processed in an extraordinarily slow 1386 milliseconds.

Blink 182 SuXRZ A$$!111 lolol nub

BOOOOOOO!

Bring out the rapping granny!

Santa, for Christmas i want a pony, a racecar, a firetruck, atom to upate the site....

i want a head crab for crimby

Be nice ZL you little f?rortsbarn of stocholm, averyone knows that jag ?r b?ttre ?n dig i precis allt, s? st?ng kakh?let.

blink do suck.

for xmas, i want to be able to go to the home of every member of twhl (including the mods) and be able to slap them in the face. after that i could go back onto twhl and i could bring terror to the site, and rule for seven years. this would be the end of times! repent! repent!

Pathetic

I might just steal that idea.

But why slap people like a pussy? Kick em in the throat....

a slap is more insulting.

with a fish