Story time Created 13 years ago2011-03-03 07:46:12 UTC by Jessie Jessie

Created 13 years ago2011-03-03 07:46:12 UTC by Jessie Jessie

Posted 13 years ago2011-03-09 19:16:47 UTC Post #291345
orqued at an angle can cause several of the wood-shavings to split or otherwise become inoperative.

It's best otherwise to line the base of your drill with a fishing net lace or similar lubricative material.

Normally,
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-09 20:34:41 UTC Post #291348
people die when they have no heads, but in the case of James Gordon Free "Man" Saunders, it didn't seem to have any effect. Soon, however, he lost his arm as well, so he died before he had a chance to murder the president.
"Oh dear, that's
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-09 21:02:59 UTC Post #291349
too bad! I thought he would open a zoo since he was a
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-09 23:24:54 UTC Post #291350
raging alcoholic child-murdering theif.
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-09 23:50:10 UTC Post #291351
If only the young, handsome, and brave dimbark were here." said Stojke, who had been sent back to the jail.
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 00:01:10 UTC Post #291352
Suddenly, as if an invisible genie were listening, the young, handsome, and brave dimbark materialised in front of him and
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 01:13:45 UTC Post #291353
The story finally ended. At least, until Penguinboy
Crollo CrolloTrollo
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 01:42:17 UTC Post #291354
remembered the still falling-to-earth enterprise, beamed on board, and proceeded to
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 02:51:54 UTC Post #291355
rape the crew.
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 03:15:38 UTC Post #291356
Kirk, naturally, got the f**k out of there.

Striker, you obviously haven't read any of the old ones XD. This can be a little inspiration to the rest of us, too.
Jessie JessieTrans Rights <3
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 03:55:36 UTC Post #291357
No sneaking sneaky text into the storyline! This isn't a public forum you know!
Crollo CrolloTrollo
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 04:41:15 UTC Post #291359
Crollo was then lynched for thread attacking. Then Marvin the Cannibis plant went and
Jessie JessieTrans Rights <3
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 07:36:18 UTC Post #291360
got smoked like and old fool. This
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 08:29:06 UTC Post #291363
was very saddening for many people in Africa, as they
Suparsonik SuparsonikI'm going off the edge to meet my maker.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 08:34:28 UTC Post #291364
relied on cannabis and prostitution to keep their economy alive.
"How will we ever
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 09:34:40 UTC Post #291365
replace OJ with 4 glasses of apple juice for half price?!" Meanwhile A. Shepard inherited the diabeetus at appleschool, and could no longer


[i]edit x1000 broke the forum[/i]
Captain Terror Captain Terrorwhen a man loves a woman
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 11:11:17 UTC Post #291367
bench-press the moon. You see, the moon had become very of a placket lately, so it had been scraped for parts and distributed among
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 12:12:00 UTC Post #291368
Chuck Norris's tribe who then continued to
Unbreakable UnbreakableWindows 7.9 Rating!
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 15:44:18 UTC Post #291378
feast on what they thought was cheese but was, in fact
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 22:52:51 UTC Post #291397
twhl's long standing informant, Tetsu0's, fat ass. Cellulose in texture with the featured qualities of a bounce-house the
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 23:02:20 UTC Post #291398
(UGH!) the writer was killed. The crazed obese vacationor american and the smurfs went back into time. T-I-M-E-T-R-A-V-E-L Meanwhile, the smurfs at the insane asylum couldn't help but notice the Enterprise wasn't slowing down as it descended rapidly towards the Earth.
"Oh,
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 23:08:05 UTC Post #291399
no, dimbark posted while I was writing!" JeffMOD sighed. "Well, this isn't good."
meanwhile, back by tetsu0's butt; there were magical properties that the tribe discovered, and they edited the cellulose many times until something appeared in the air; "edit x1000 broke the forum"
"Oh dear," said a tribesman "We appear to have broken reality. This can only mean one thing:
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 23:09:56 UTC Post #291400
We have to go further back in time!"
T-I-M-E-T-R-A-V-E-L
Fourteen glasses of orange juice were walking up to Ireland. They didn't know it was an island. The orange juices were from
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-10 23:56:44 UTC Post #291405
another galaxy, as due to a freak fluctuation in the time/space continuum.. everything had become hobber-knocked.

Luckily for the orange juices, not many changes occurred specifically to their existences. It was a great fortune.. they were still orange, made of glass and juice.. also they were not Australian.

Just then, as if a moment had passed before, the more scantly scad-resemblant orange juice sought the attention of a corner-street social worker, or as American's call them, a prostitute.

Calling out to her attention and waving what few paco's the juice could muster from the inner lining of it's petty-coat
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 00:15:46 UTC Post #291406
pulp.
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 07:55:55 UTC Post #291423
This meager offering could only get the 3-headed giant as far as
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 13:56:04 UTC Post #291449
three steps forward, in a complicated way nobody can explain because we only know 1% about the galaxy.
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 17:30:47 UTC Post #291463
First the giant had to spin in a shape of a loli-pop puritanical. This was an impressive feat... consider how, not only had the thread been hijacked by the ruggedly handsome, decisively proclaimed, level-headed yet refined characteristics of the great and terrible deviled space-pirate(detective?) psilous de romainus, but he also had to begin this post with the first word of an ACTUAL new sentence.

The consideration of all events and meaning baffled the humble giant, who not unlike the late taco-bell chihuahua, loves knitting sweaters.

Suddenly, the orange juices held a council.. after a brief deliberation, of about 6 to 7 minutes, they had all come to a unanimous agreement that the galaxy is infinite and ever expanding. Therefore, eliminating any constant state of 100%, nullifying any misguided belief of before (during the dinosaur ages) about information regarding the galaxy being able to be noted in such a fashion of ones and zeros... like a dirty time-traveling robot.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 18:51:12 UTC Post #291469
So they sacificed Dimbark to their ancient, bloodthirsty gods in a ritualistic manner, resulting in
Jessie JessieTrans Rights <3
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 19:47:39 UTC Post #291471
erectile disfunction. To fix their problem, they
Rimrook RimrookSince 2003
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 20:33:07 UTC Post #291473
found a seemingly safe pill of Viagra, only then they discovered that
Suparsonik SuparsonikI'm going off the edge to meet my maker.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 21:28:12 UTC Post #291477
the all-mighty psilous, here-fore referenced as 'the one true god' had laced the pile with indiscriminate hits of XTC (extacy), a drug more commonly found at shitty dance parties featuring even shittier techno music.

Tripping now, the juices
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 21:29:35 UTC Post #291478
broke their glasses on a wall, and one of them said "Oh shit! Where'd my
Suparsonik SuparsonikI'm going off the edge to meet my maker.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 21:37:13 UTC Post #291480
juice get loose too!

Hazing, a surviving orange juice then exclaimed:
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 22:19:39 UTC Post #291481
"I guess we shouldn't have named the first guy we saw as our god. My bad, sorry guys."
Suddenly,
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 22:22:46 UTC Post #291482
T-I-M-E-T-R-A-V-E-L!
It all started with a HUGE explosion. As the universe cooled down, Earth began to form.
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 22:37:45 UTC Post #291483
All time traveling devices were destroyed, with the exception of the TARDIS, which wouldn't be invented for millennia, and therefore won't be mentioned later in this story. God, content that the forces of physics and evolution would keep working while he was gone, left to make dinner, while a chemical reaction occurred on earth; an amoeba formed, then multiplied, again, and again and again. Slowly, over thousands of years, something just under sentience began to form. A figure stirred in the ocean, and a newly formed mouth opened; "Hi, I'm Bobby Kotick, and I want your money!"
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 22:52:23 UTC Post #291484
Spawned from Jeff's wild non sequitur, A. Shepard erupted from the hell to bite everyone, and the USS Enterpize
Captain Terror Captain Terrorwhen a man loves a woman
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 22:55:58 UTC Post #291485
, not to be confused with the USS Enterprise, exploded in a ball of
Notewell NotewellGIASFELFEBREHBER
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 23:16:16 UTC Post #291486
blue warp energy, ass Captain Kirk dropped the hammer, tearing ass out of out of the quadrant. After reading a PM from Tetsu0's ass, he
Captain Terror Captain Terrorwhen a man loves a woman
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 23:33:23 UTC Post #291487
then replied with this:

.....___________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
.....==o;;;;;;;;______.:
.....), ---.((_) /
....// (..) ), ----"
.../___/
../___/
./___/

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE PIMP TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
Send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. See how many times you get this. if you get 13, you're A TRUE HOMIE!


Then Tetsu0 replied with:
Suparsonik SuparsonikI'm going off the edge to meet my maker.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-11 23:37:50 UTC Post #291488
Stop that. :/
Strider StriderTuned to a dead channel.
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-12 00:21:19 UTC Post #291492
As millions of years passed, God finished his dinner and looked at his world. Due to an overdose of terrace-farming, the world had become minecraft. Reallizing this, God quickly
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-12 12:39:15 UTC Post #291504
had another bowl of fruit loops for supper, saying, 'hahaha you thought I was going to live for Centuries!' and then ran away.
Leaving
Unbreakable UnbreakableWindows 7.9 Rating!
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-12 16:41:16 UTC Post #291527
the minecraft lifestyle was difficult for the people, so they buried their
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-13 04:07:47 UTC Post #291565
pride in a part of a balanced breakfast, consisting of flap-jacks, eggs, bacon, toast, a bowl of luckily charms, a small glass of orange juice and a tall glass of milk.

With the whole-hearted wrath of the all-mighty great-designer,
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-13 09:23:56 UTC Post #291570
fruit loops were hurled at the TRUE HOMIES who
Jessie JessieTrans Rights <3
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-15 18:54:40 UTC Post #291757
agreed to sign papers that say "We refuse to be
Dimbeak DimbeakRotten Bastard
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-15 20:02:18 UTC Post #291765
BROKE
Crollo CrolloTrollo
Posted 13 years ago2011-03-16 06:28:02 UTC Post #291789
N!" TRUE HOMIES STAY TRUE HOMIES FOREVER AND
Suparsonik SuparsonikI'm going off the edge to meet my maker.
You must be logged in to post a response.