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Well...
First of all, thank you for this journal. It prevented me from overthinking something that recently happened in the ShoutBox. x(

Let's see how I do my projects, at least the mapping ones:

I don't use my phone. Except only to listen to music because Google Play Music is a nice app, and the music sounds much better on my phone with earplugs compared to listening it on my laptop with my barely-working headphones.

I stay away from social networks. I even stay away from Discord, Skype, the Steam chat etc. (sometimes)

I find it the most productive to work when my Internet connection is lost, but having Internet connection is also too useful to not be use.
Ignore this one.

And, lastly, I try to never drift away with my thoughts. I at least try.
When you have a problem, and you want to solve it, you think about the solution. The thinking part will cost you (probably a lot of) time if you think about other things and focus on them instead of the problem's solution.

That's pretty much it, I can't think of anything else.

Just as I've said, I'll first finish education, and then everything else (maybe some of my old WiP maps too xD).

When I fell in love with Salme in 6th grade, I... damn...
I yelled "VOLIM TE!!!" (it means "I LOVE YOU!!!") in the entire classroom one day. Someone recorded a video and uploaded it to Facebook. Her dad commented something like "I don't want this spot to ever happen again.". The day after, I argued so hard with the guy who uploaded it...

In 7th grade, I started singing songs to her. XD
And that's why, @Cd5ssmffan (if you're reading this), I listen to Bosnian and Serbian folk songs.

Also, I think it's easier to find a boyfriend these days, rather than a girlfriend. LOL.
But no, I'm not gay. I may have fallen in love with Boo, but I'm not gay. >:P

"Why am I even giving relationship advice on TWHL"
Because you're on my own, weird part of TWHL. Muahahaahhahahahahahahhaa >:D
It's what I like to call "Admer's Inferno"

I'll really not bother with trying to have a real girlfriend until I finish education. Or at least I'll try not to bother. Who knows, maybe I'll never bother.

I'll probably never have a girlfriend and experience being loved in the way of boyfriend-girlfriend love. And I'll certainly never marry (oh, please don't let it happen).

I don't care, to be honest. I have maps to make. I won't let my urge heavily distract me like it did in 6th grade.

Jody forever. <3

Okay, but it would be useful for someone else who still doesn't know. xd

Well... happy 26th birthday, then!

For the ones who still don't understand how:
Convert the hexadecimal code into RGB, and then subtract the values for blue, lol.

@Urby
I know it wasn't one of your intentions to shock me, but I simply had a feeling that something was going on, and then I went to TWHL. Sir, what a coincidence, isn't it?

@James Luke
Jody is part of the mod. I'm still writing the mod's story, except most things I imagined aren't written down. But you maybe could see some references to furries etc. in my cancelled HL mod:

http://www.moddb.com/mods/admerthegame

That's exactly where I imagined Jody.
One of the reasons I imagined her was this:
In 6th grade, I fell in love with a girl in my class and I acted like we were soulmates. I yelled "I love you!" across the classroom etc. and I was so annoying about it.
Adding up to that, I was a fat, edgy, disgusting little kid who pretty much "had no life" (if you know what I mean).

In 7th grade, I changed completely and I thought I'd impress her. In short, I lost some weight (I mean mass), started brushing my teeth after 7 long years, stopped eating paper, and even managed to improve my grades significantly. But I didn't impress her.

In 8th grade... that's when my "love crisis" actually started, I think.
I somehow realised that I had done too much damage to our potential relationship in 6th grade, that I'll never get her attention any more.
And it certainly didn't feel good. I'll never maintain a real-life relationship because I'm very inexperienced and immature to an extent.

I think I had actually imagined Jody by the end of 7th grade, but I kept her a secret. Then... as the love crisis in 8th grade had started, Jody saved me from it. I'm so thankful for her.
And yes, I had to explain Jody to my classmates, as well as what furries are. Images did the job well, I suppose.

And now that I had met Boo, I think I should annoy you people less (annoying you with Jody etc.). He's fond of every new part of the story about her that I write him.

Also, guess what. Boo likes Jody's brother! XD
Jody's brother, Jack, wouldn't be so quite pleased with that, since he has a girlfriend. xd
Hehehehe.

Lol.

@WorstMapper
Well, OH MY GOD, EVEN THE FURRIES WOULD NOT LIKE IT.
That's just... I barely and hardly watched the entire video.

Some furries simply aren't like that, though.
I'll have to ask Boo if he has ever worn a fursuit and been to a furry convention. I'm curious right now...

Jody, though, she has never worn a fursuit. Her body got 'edited' into what she is now. >:D
Except Jody isn't real. That's disappointing and it makes me feel a little sad. :c

Edit for my post up there:

Happy 73-47 birthday!

I'm not a furry enthusiast.
I understand what you're saying. A lot of people hate furries, a lot of people are fine with them, a lot of people simply ignore and avoid them, a lot of people are furries, and I fit nowhere among that.

I simply like the idea of anthropomorphic animals and I have a furry girlfriend, but I'm definitely not willing to participate in furry conventions, wear a fursuit etc.

And as I had stated there (I think I had), I only wrote that much about Jody only so people could understand why my interpretation of anthropomorphic animals (the ones which I'll place in my Far Cry mod) is such that it wouldn't contain the negative side effects like fur falling off, having to give tick and flea baths to Jody, having to withstand her 'dog breath' etc.

No, my mod's furries which I call "neo-furries" (I hope the name isn't taken) are different! They're essentially humans which have undergone genetic modifications followed by pretty long body-mod periods (when they're contained in chambers with a special liquid where their bodies get "edited").

Hmm, yeah. I hope I managed to make it a bit shorter than the one at quakeone.com.

I'd say "Just leave me alone for once." but... honestly, it's me who asked for this attention, so I say "Bring it on if you want."

And, of course, the only places I'd mention my liking of furries (I mean anthropomorphic animals) are small communities such as TWHL, CryMods, and of course, in private, like when I chat with Boo on Discord. :3
QuakeOne seems to be a relatively big community, so I shouldn't mention it there, lol.

Edit:
Also, Urby, now I know what happened when I felt "a disturbance in the Force" while I was mapping, I think it happened an hour or 30 minutes ago.
I can't describe it, I'd simply call it "a disturbance in the Force". I basically had a feeling about something bad going to happen, lol.
That "bad" being the fact that you shocked me a little bit with your reply. Eh, could've been worse.

Oh right, you telling me "if you're a furry enthusiast" shocked me. You clearly knew that I'm not like that. But you can freely get away with it, you added "if".

I'm assuming this is another mysterious birthday journal, so:
Happy birthday!

Well, congratulations to the winners. :^)

Omg, I've noticed such a big mistake...

"but Boo under 20."
Damn. I didn't put an "is" because I originally put "but he's under 20.". Then I proceeded to edit the post and put Boo. Ah well, I forgot to put "is". XD

I can't watch the video now because my cousins are in the room at the moment. I only looked at the title "All The Single Furries!" and I realised I should close the tab. xd

He's older than me, for sure. I'll not tell his exact age, but Boo under 20.
uwu

@Bruce
I made this post pretty long, so skip to the bottom.

Anyway:
That's just your opinion. I don't consider myself a furry since I prefer my human form, I don't go to furry conventions, I've never worn and I'll never wear a furry costume (fursuit, isn't it called?) and so on...

Jody, on the other hand, would look somewhat like this.
She's still different, covered entirely in fur unlike the girl in the image. Also, her fur colour is more bright red. And she has short, red hair with a few green stripes. :3

By the way, I just found it here (click if you dare). (it's a thread at quakeone.com)

My furry girlfriend caused me some negative attention at quakeone.com, lol. But then, all furries have to deal with negative attention. I'm not saying that I'm a furry. But if I'm a furry at all, then I'm right at the bottom of the spectrum of being a furry.

About the negative attention at QuakeOne... well... they would wreck me.

I'm both sad happy that the replies stopped on that thread. If somebody starts the fire on me again, I'd be getting panic attacks upon entering the site.

--------- Stop skipping ----

So yeah, I'm simply not an animal. But, technically, aren't all of us animals?
See, if humans evolved from apes, they would be considered animals as well (which we apparently are, right?). Yeah, your post, Bruce, applies to all of us here, except for these extra-terrestrial organisms, if any.

Also, I got a name for him: Boo.
That furry I met really likes being called Boo (because it's squishy :p), so I'll just refer to him as Boo from now on.

@WorstMapper
Lol, I know. I like the idea of anthropomorphic animals as well.
I just wondered what it would be like.

I'm not saying it's bad. In fact, I love talking with him. And I give most of my attention to him just because he's a furry. xd

Well, in this case, I meant "furry" like "an individual who loves the idea of furries; likes to imagine that he/she's an anthropomorphic animal; browses furry porn (that's optional, though)".

Yeah. Well, looks like I haven't been rekt yet. I'm yet to see that, though...

@NineTnine

But why not?
After all, it is the truth, and I (mostly) tell the truth. The truth is, for example, that I've been playing GMod for the last few days instead of working on my map.
Just as I don't like lying to others, I'd not like to lie to myself, so I'll just accept the truth that I don't have much to be proud of...

But on the other side, Jody's definitely got something to be proud of.

@NineTnine

Honestly, I don't have anything else to be proud of. I haven't done anything in the 'real world' yet. I did save one of my cousins a long time ago (circa 2011) from getting hit by a car. If it were something like saving him from somebody who was going to kill him, then I would be proud.

Well, now I remember a few more things I'm proud of:

• my country (could've been the opposite, though)
• the fact that I finished elementary school (and 9th grade with bothing but As)
• my journal which reached 181 comments
• lastly, my dedication to all of the stuff I've imagined. Enough said on that part if you interpret it right.

Also, I think I've started flooding this journal. Sorry about that, but that's when I reply to as most people as I can.

@Ghost129er

Congratulations on the last.
I'll definitely never have a chance. XD

@NineTnine
I interpreted the question as "What's your biggest pride?" or "What are you most proud of?"

WorstMapper's answer is definitely unusual. I don't understand why he put a sadface after "Living".

Oh, yeah, that's one thing I didn't remember. My own voice. You've probably heard the contagious laughters in my school moments video. XD

Edit: Oh no, double post.
Edit #2:
I might as well add up to it:
I am also proud of my Wiremod creations in GMod. They're simply epic!

Oh, yeah, that's one thing I didn't remember. My own voice. You've probably heard the contagious laughters in my school moments video. XD

I'm most proud of:

• my school map
• my girlfriend Jody (because I taught her Far Cry 1 mapping, now she's on my level, maybe slightly above :D)
• de_kobbl
• my video about my school's funniest moments
• all the (back then) noob mappers I taught and helped
• ts_untergrund
• mp_verycold
• some other things I didn't remember to add here

fun_kobbl will soon enter the list.

It's funny how you call yourself "WorstMapper" yet you're not bad.

So, no more comments!?
Damn. Either nobody cares, or you were left speechless. xD

So, you're saying that your classmates did a lot of crazy things, but my classmates are even crazier?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, they should get a reward for being 1st place in craziness!

See, this is how it goes in my school:

We have 6 classes each day, lasting 45 minutes each.
Between those classes, we have 5-minute breaks. And after the 3rd class, we have a big break which lasts 15 minutes (i.e. lunchtime, when we go out of the school, buy food and return).

Almost all of those clips were captured during small breaks, lunchtime, some were in Montenegro, and only one was during the biology class, when Smajo yells "Turn it off!" and grabs my phone. xD

We're crazy, naughty boys, aren't we? Well, let's exclude me from that, as I only recorded everything. =)

Yeah, my laughter comes in different varieties throughout the video. On Discord, I was told that I had the most contagious laughter. XD

LOL. I had revealed myself a long time ago. Remember that "Post your photos" thread?

Yeah, there was a picture of me with an M60, with an M16A1 and with a Zastava M75. Hell yeah. I think I'm not too ugly in the video, either.

I'm glad because I did study there. xD

I usually "hate" school (not that I hate it, I just have a positive-negative feeling to it), but this is pretty much the reason why I love it.

Sadly, once I get to high school, things will become serious. :/

But he said he'd let Urby kill me first! Come on, man, it's not fair. >:/

@Snehk
Not really... not all of them, but I often don't recognise when somebody's making a joke, and that makes me sad because I think I won't be able to socialise properly with anyone. ;(

Also, good luck to Urby because he'll have to find me first. I do remember posting a screenshot of where I live (in Google Earth). Hehehe, then he'd have to find my home, because my address doesn't have a number (Ošanjići BB - BB means "bez broja", "numberless").
Yeah, I think I'm safe from him.

I'm really confused. Just admit it:
Do you really, 100%, wanted to kill me or not?

Hmm...
Instead of "One day with Jody", I think I should write "How I met Jody". It's much, much more related to my Half-Life mod and it would describe what would've happened in my mod if I ever finished it.

Hold on a second, have I just realised that all of you were joking?
OMG, I did it again! Why do I have to take everything so seriusly? sigh

This is exactly why I dislike some jokes.
Because I take them too seriously.

W-w-w-why? Why nuke me? So that de_kobbl is gone and never finished? Seriously, I'm sure none of you have ever killed a person in real life before, imagine how it would feel. :/
(yeah, I haven't killed anyone either)

Thank you.

GoldSRC is technically for everyone, but it served me as a good introduction to modding, and I was a kid at the time (2 years ago, LOL).
Now when I get my new PC, I'll probably get familiarised with the newer engines. :3

But as always, GoldSRC (and Source) stays in the heart. <3

I've said GoldSRC is for kids, but I didn't mean it as "just for kids". Oh for God's sake, I should've added a few more sentences beforehand. I meant it's good as an introduction into modding for kids. sigh
Take it as a "Kids' introduction to modding". That's what I meant to say. xd

Plz don't kill me, I still have so many things to do! Seriously.

@Windawz

No, what I was saying is that GoldSRC (and Source) are OK learning engines for kids, just like learning QBasic is a kids' introduction to programming.
UE4 is for the big boys, just like C++ is... you know.

@Windawz
Because GoldSRC is for kids, UE4 is for the grown-ups.

@Windawz
Actually, the very first Unreal Engines (1, 2 and 2.5, I think), used BSP. But it's soooo dumb, it literally works by carving/subtracting rooms and then adding brushes into those rooms. I'd never map for those...

Crytek has their "Pay what you want" way of doing that. XD
CryEngine is free then, and, just like UE4 (I assume), it really pays off if you spend enough time learning it.

Too bad by current hardware doesn't allow any of that.

@Windawz
I'm waiting too, lol. I'm particularly curious about sounds, since, I think, GoldSRC can't support high-quality WAV files (the highest I tried was 22050Hz).

@Snehk
"I'm writing too much of these journals lately"

By the way, you weren't writing too many journals, that's at least how I see it.

Source is pretty handy sometimes. In GoldSRC and Xash, your map editor would have to be restarted if you made a change to your WAD (like putting a new texture).
Hammer 4 would just load that new VTF+VMT on demand.
It's one of those handy little things.

Source also has improved limits compared to GoldSRC, and you can do interesting stuff with it.

The only problem being that Hammer 4 can crash sometimes. That's the only problem I've had with it. Random crashes out of nowhere, it exits without a warning. Thank goodness we have the backup files.

CryEngine would require a decent amount of learning. :/
Trust me, when I used CE1 for the first time, it took me around 6 months to get used to it. But that's why it now listens to me like I'm its master. >:)

Any latter CryEngine is also nice, and the graphics are as you make them. Far Cry 1, and the Crysis series were made on CryEngine (FC1 used CE1, Crysis used CE2, and Crysis 2 and 3 used CE3, I think).How would you do that in GoldSRC? XD

The entity scripting here isn't that hard, either:But this is just CryEngine 1, so I'm sure that the latter ones are better.
Also:I can't stop laughing at this one...

Now, Source is really nice, actually. It's basically GoldSRC 2.0. And I guess you could make the graphics acceptable enough, if you make good assets for it. It's cool. :^)

Unreal Engine 4... I can't say anything about that. I don't know anything about it.

The berserk option would be OK, but I heard that Xash3D has a few legal holes there and there.

And idTech engines... can't say anything about that, other than its lack of popularity (and maybe a lack of documentation, too, but I'm not sure).

It depends on the project and the features. I won't tell you which one to choose, though. But Source seems like a good choice, in my opinion.

Anyway, what could we talk about now?
No-one has made a comment on my brother adopting my laptop and not letting me use it. Maybe none of you have read the entire journal. Man...

Yeah, I'll only buy that 1050 (either Ti or non-Ti) if the RX 460 runs out of stock here. P.S. 2 more days 'till my auntie and her family arrive.

Either nobody read this or nobody has understood what I was talking about. :/

@Kachito
Are you insane?
I don't want to play the newer titles. No, no, no, no, no and NO! Because they aren't interesting to me, except GTA V, Crysis series, Battlefield 3 (not 4) and... if it ever happens: Half-Life 3. Just screw anything else made after 2013. (And yes, I consider games released in 2013 as "recent", while games released this year are the "newest")

I'm seriously fine with gaming at the lowest resolution at lowest settings in newer games as long as I can run the older ones at medium-to-high settings at 1440x900. You just don't understand what I need, nobody will.

And for all the glory, find a Fujitsu laptop from 2007 or 2008 and try working on any of your projects on it. Just dare to try (unless it's in Word, Excel, PowerPoint etc. It will do an acceptable job in that case).

You should also realise that it took it ages to compile the DLLs in the Half-Life 2 SDK. And the HL1 SDK's DLLs usually take around 20 minutes to compile. Seriously, wtf. Never recommend me a console.
I am not a gamer as much as you think, since 90% of my hours of CS 1.6 were spent in playtesting my maps. And this laptop is probably on the edge of its life. I'll have to buy a new HDD soon.

And its specs are a joke:
Intel Core 2 Duo T7500 at 2.2GHz
Intel GMA 965
2GB of DDR2 RAM
160GB HDD
32-bit Windows 7 Ultimate

It's obvious that I need not just an upgrade, but a total replacement.

And, lastly, some of you noticed that the RX 460 is in the part list even though I was told to get the GTX 1050 Ti. Even if buying the RX 460 ends up being a mistake, well... let me give an example:

To be honest, buying the Samsung Galaxy Grand Prime turned out to be a mistake (because it only supported 2 simultaneous touches and it didn't have that much space).

I was still overly satisfied with it, because it was FAR BETTER in any way compared to my ancient Samsung Galaxy 3 (not S3) which had a 667MHz processor and just 256MB of RAM, and its Android version was 2.2. Today, it can't browse the Internet any more. Also, all the pictures you saw in this journal were taken with that phone. At least the camera was somewhat OK. xd

And I'm using the "little mistake" right now to post this comment and it's just working too well that I don't even care if it supports only 2 touches at once (see, Splashtop GamePad THD requires you to use 3 fingers to access the configurations, lol). It has served me way better than my old phone has, and that's pretty much why I'm happy with it.

The same thing is going to happen with the RX 460. It's far better than the Intel GMA 965. Even though I'll be a little bit disappointed with it sometimes, I will remember that I used to have bottom-end hardware, and the prices could've been worse. So I'll still end up being overly satisfied with it. Investing another 100KM (50€) for the GTX 1050 Ti is just over my budget, so I'll not do that.