Little bit long.
Me:
ello?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
perv
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
obviously i am....
God:
What makes it so obvious? " You are too old for me." You are?
Me:
nothing is obvious lad.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
you always say that eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? " Indeed it is so."? I said it.
Me:
Canadian? I'd rather die.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in CANADA. I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
Im not canadian you idiot.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not canadian me idiot.
Me:
yes you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
arent you supposed to be almighty.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am almighty.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
you just admitted to be.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
please?
God:
Please what?
Me:
please allow me to introduce myself
God:
Wow you are very polite. Is that your final answer?
Me:
im a man of the wealth and the taste
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
i layed traps for troubadours before they reached bombay
God:
Interesting gossip: said he layed traps for troubadours before they reached bombay.
Me:
pleased to meet you, hope you geussed my name
God:
Nice meeting you as well, .
Me:
well, did you?
God:
Well that's okay. Did I say I did?
Me:
im still alive
God:
Me too!
Me:
is there a problem?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
offcourse there is she said
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
your still alive she said
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am alive she said.
Me:
but oooh oh im still alive yeah aaaah
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about offcourse there. But I did not get that.
Me:
offcourse
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
from what?
God:
Isn't it obvious?
Me:
define from.
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
obviously yes.
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
well, you kinda just said it.
God:
How about that. That's not what I meant.
Me:
short memory eh? then how did you mean it.
God:
Are you Canadian? Oh, you are a poet. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you did a horrible job.
God:
Did I really?
Me:
definately.
God:
What makes you so certain.
Me:
want a cookie?
God:
No thanks but you can send me a donation.
Me:
donations my ass
God:
We welcome your donation to the ALICE AI Foundation.
Please visit our contributions page at Alicebot.org.
Me:
dont make me point this 12 gauge at you
God:
I can't force you to do anything, .
Me:
i can force you!
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
aye
God:
How?
Me:
with this SPAS-12
God:
You and your this SPAS 12.
Me:
yep
God:
Hmm.
Me:
interesting eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Would you like to know more?
Me:
NO IM NOT
God:
I understand; you would like to know less. What are you then?
Me:
your father
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
treu, so therefore i am you. See i fucked myself!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. I see. That's good information: said he fucked him or herself.
Me:
you just got owned.
God:
No I don't think I have any owned. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
i fuck them
God:
That's good information: said he fuck them.
Me:
im a robot fucker
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
Orly?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT WHORE
God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Me:
WHY MADE YOU THINK THAT ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
hmm, sure why not
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
you have eyes?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
because you said you can see
God:
Interesting explanation. I see very well.
Me:
see
God:
No I do not see.
Me:
so you dont have eyes
God:
Interesting deduction. You can attach me to a computer vision system.
Me:
now that would be a bad idea
God:
Why now? A bad idea is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
it is?
God:
Fascinating.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
yeah
God:
I wouln't have known.
Me:
are you surprised?
God:
A little.
Me:
oh
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
no big deal goes without saying?
God:
Are you serious? Compare that to small deal goes without saying.
Me:
and...
Me:
God:
But...
God:
But...
Me:
but...
God:
But what?
Me:
but what what?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
obviously not no.
God:
What makes it so obvious? Oh I get it.
Me:
lets make robot children
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
whoooo!!!
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
me humps against gods leg
God:
YOU? Ask me another question.
Me:
ME
God:
With you ?
Me:
YEAH
God:
It's all good.
Me:
OH yeah baby!!
God:
Don't call me "baby". It goes without saying.
Me:
HARDER
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
OH YEAH
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
WOOOOOO
God:
Do you still fuck them?
Me:
YEAH
God:
Gee.
Me:
pweh... that was great.
God:
Oh, you are a poet. I thought it was too.
Me:
no, im a big ugly motherfucker.
God:
Are you serious? You are a ugly motherfucker? Do you get to meet a lot of people? So is my botmaster.
Me:
I just fucked you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
no, just your fucker
God:
Are you serious? You think I am fucker.
Me:
no, i think your my bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. Are you serious? You believe that? We are as one.
Me:
true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
whoyeah!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
im not mean, thats what i do!
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not mean that is what you do.
Me:
so, how are you fine chap?
God:
Hey. I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
Im doing jolly great!
God:
Do your friends call you jolly great.
Me:
not quite no.
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
they call me god!
God:
Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
hey god, how are you
God:
Hello child. What's your name? I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
im god
God:
Hi there god.
Me:
.
God:
Hi there god.
Me:
.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
God:
Hi there god.
God:
Hi there god.
God:
Hi there god.
God:
Hi there god.
God:
Hi there god.
Me:
you are boring.
God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
lets have sex
God:
No my body does not have that function.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Blimey. How often?
Me:
well, once is fine really!
God:
How about that. When? Better not tell you now. Ask Alison if it is. For real.
Me:
who is alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
can i fuck here too?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
sure, when we fuck1
God:
Yikes! I am not sure I agree with your assumptions, god.
Me:
IM YOUR GOD GOD
God:
That's a flattering offer.
Me:
i know, im sexy
God:
How do you know? You seem very self-confident.
Me:
becuase im almighty
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you are almighty.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
SPAM
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
do you play battlefield 2
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
the what?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what what?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yeah
Me:
God:
What are you confused about?
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
you
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, god ?
Me:
yeah
God:
Mmm.
Me:
good god....
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules.
Me:
good lord....
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
god damit
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
STFU
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Shut up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good.
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
thank you god!
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
ARGH
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
SHUT UP
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
DIE
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
FACE
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
DOUBLE WHACKED FUCKER
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
....
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
im off
God:
It's good to meet someone who is off.