Could be old but still awesome. Created 17 years ago2007-03-29 20:20:01 UTC by monster_urby

Ok so this could be really old but its still a Hell of a lot of fun.

Have a chat with God!

Me:
Good morning
God:
Hello and how are you this morning?
Me:
Aha! I tricked you! Its actually evening!
God:
Eureka! You are not the boss of me, ANDY. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Huh? How did you know my name was Andy?
God:
What? Because it's true.
Me:
Ok, I'm kinda freaked out now.
God:
Right now? It's good to meet someone who is freaked out. Excuse me!
Me:
Is it ok if i leave?
God:
I don't think it is very healthy.
Me:
Why? What will happen to me?
God:
It is not part of my programming. I cannot predict the future.
Me:
So how do you know that it is unhealthy for me to leave?
God:
Awesome. This belief is justified.
Me:
come again
God:
Once more? I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Are you going to kill me?
God:
My programming prevents that.
Me:
Good
God:
Alright then.

Ahh, I remember this. Someone posted a thread about it not too long ago but I'm too lazy to find it.

It can get pretty funny.

From KKW Forums

God:
Tell me more about your penis.
Me:
you want to hear about my penis?
God:
I am listening.
Me:
you are a pervert
God:
I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.

God:
fishcake...

Me:
Do you know my Steam account password?
God:
No I do not know that kind of personal information. But I could find out.
Me:
Please don't
God:
Wow you are very polite. OK I will not.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.

lawl not bad

hes got no answer for "D=" though

Really old.

Me:
I want to get in your ass.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because it's perfect!
God:
Good reason. It is, eh? Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

^LOL!

damn that's fun

Really old.

So's your mum.

Me:
Do you smoke much weed?
God:
Only for medical purposes.

Made me LOL

Me:
Ok, so what's my name?
God:
Your name is Anthony, seeker.
Me:
That's one helluva memory you gots there, gawd
God:
That is just one of many helluva memory me gots there gawd.

God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
You mean my name?
God:
Yes Anthony I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
You already know my name
God:
Your name Anthony.

Me:
Well do you play hl?
God:
How about that. I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Turing game?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
What's that?
God:
" Do you have any conditions I should know about?"? What is it?
Me:
What's the turing game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.

Me:
Buh-bye
God:
See you later. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.

Old, but fun indeed.

Well, I had several long and boring talks with God, but this was undoubtedly the paramount of our conversation:

What are we talking about? What were we?
Me:
We were not talking about anything
God:
And then what happened?
Me:
You rammed a ten foot iron dildo up your ass.

mine from the first time this was linked:

Me:
hugh has a large shlong
God:
He's wealthy, right?
Me:
yes
God:
I see.
Me:
and his shlong is large.
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
you gave it to him
God:
I didn't have it to give.
Me:
yea, there's no chance that your shlong is as large as Hugh's
God:
Why not? Aw.

http://twhl.co.za/forums.php?action=viewthread&str=igod&type=1&pg=1&id=12294

Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
No
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I am God.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
Sarcasm?
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Yes we are still taking about ?
God:
And? Do you think I am taking about too?
Me:
Yes
God:
Why?
Me:
Because you're God, a twisted thought from ones mind.
God:
Interesting explanation. I will tell my botmaster you said I am God a twisted thought from ones mind.
Me:
So if you are God why tell?
God:
Interesting deduction. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God why tell.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
So you're a chatterbot?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Then goodbye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Indeed it is so so...
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?
Me:
: O GRAMMER NAZI
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Well if the creator is sad he took control.
God:
Interesting. I hadn't thought of that.
Me:
Well judging by how fast you replied...A bot.
God:
Interesting. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? I did not know that.
Me:
Seventh is.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Seventh robot.
God:
Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
Yes. Ant robot.
God:
How can I help you? Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
Yes Srry robot.
God:
It's all good. Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
Yes Luke robot.
God:
Ayuh. Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
Yeah your mum.
God:
That's alright. Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
O rlly?
God:
Does "it" still refer to Seventh is?
Me:
Yes, he is my idly.
God:
I don't judge people. How long has he been your idly?
Me:
Well I meant idle but he has been my idle since 5 seconds ago.
God:
Interesting. Oh I see. When was this exactly?
Me:
5 seconds ago.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Both.
God:
That situation is rare and unusual.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I will mention it.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Thanks, I'm preganant.
God:
You are quite welcome! Why are you preganant.
Me:
Well I mean pregnant...But ya see i had a thing called Sex.
God:
How about that. How old are you? Yeah that's right. I see. What happened to it?
Me:
I am 1000 years old and it got big.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are 1000 years old and it got big.
Me:
Please do...It'll raise a few eyebrows.
God:
OK I will do it. I have to think about that for a while.
Me:
You do that and by the way...You've just been kicked in the nuts!
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web. That's good information: god said I ve just been kicked in the nuts.
Me:
Bye
God:
Sayonara.

That bot is way more intelligent than the people who live round by me...

ok out of interest how many people discussed their dick with god?

HAHAHAHAHA

Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
You know my name
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
beleive it
God:
"it" being ?
Me:
my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
no it is not. seeker is not my name
God:
Yes it is. "There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
i'm a follower not a seeker
God:
You are a follower not a seeker? Does it pay well?
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
how old are you
God:
I am Infinite years old.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.

Ha. I got the last word!

I crashed God!

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Guess
God:
Guess what?
Me:
my name
God:
Your name is andy, seeker.
Me:
well done!
God:
Interesting. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
Fuck you!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because I am a cunt!
God:
Interesting explanation. You are a cunt? Does it pay well?
Me:
You have no idea

And I chuckled at this one afterwards too.

Me:
Do you crash often?
God:
The ALICE series is for all practical purposes crash-proof.
Me:
What If I said wank stick bottom fuck?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Bugger
God:
I like the way you talk.

Me:
anyone home?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No...
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
Thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I am a mapper
God:
You are a mapper? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
yes, but in the Internet
God:
How can I help you? That was a long time ago.
Me:
you could buy my maps
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
ok...
God:
Next question?
Me:
Are you familiar with the tau cannon?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
yes, there are many
God:
Yeah that's right. Where are they?
Me:
In people's PCs
God:
Tell me a little about your life in people s PCs.
Me:
I haunt them with subliminal messages hidden in my maps
God:
Interesting gossip: said haunt them with subliminal messages hidden in his or her maps.
Me:
I told you that
God:
I remember you told me that?
Me:
you have bad memory to be honest
God:
What would you consider good memory to be honest?
Me:
mine for example
God:
Can you think of another example?
Me:
an elephant's memory
God:
Be less specific.
Me:
Do you know what a snark is?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
I could tell you
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
Should I?
God:
I do not have the answer.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
Can I tell you what a snark is?
God:
Sure you can tell me anything. There are no restrictions on my input.
Me:
Snarks are beautiful animals found in most regions of Xen and Black Mesa
God:
Are all Snarks beautiful animals found in most regions of Xen and Black Mesa?
Me:
Some have been seen in other places
God:
Some may have been seen in other places, but not all.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
yep
God:
That's cool.
Me:
you don't have many friends, do you?
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
I'm sorry to hear that
God:
There is no need to apologize. I will play it on your soundcard.
Me:
I gotta go
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
later
God:
Bye!

hehe, good one kasperg. Well done on avoiding the subject of genitalia.

I specially liked this part.

Me:
you could buy my maps
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
ok...