lol
"What are you doing, Baldrick?"
"I'm carving something on this bullet, sir"
"What are you carving?"
"My name, sir"
"And why are you doing that?"
"Well, you know they say there's a bullet out there with your name on it?"
"Yess"
"Well, I thought if I owned that bullet, I wouldn't get hit by it. 'Cos I'm never going to shoot myself"
"Oh, shame"
"And the chances of there being two bullets with name on it are very small indeed!"
"Yes, that's not the only thing around here that's very small indeed"...etc
Misquoted from Blackadder; and memory.