Journal #7685

Be Positive, even if you don't feel the same way. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress.

Buck up, kid. It's a big ol' world.

Positive Things:

...

I have no fucking idea

Then make some. Rather than stooping in self-pity, strive to better yourself.

Take up a hobby or a sport or something. Something you wouldn't expect yourself to do. Surprise yourself.

"or a sport"
Did you even read this? I weigh 65 fucking pounds!

you only "suck" at half-life mapping because you just started. nobody starts off as a genius. work with the engine a bit more and get used to it

Parkour or Rock Climbing would be perfect. Big guys are at a serious disadvantage in both and you'd put on a lot of weight in muscle mass fairly quickly.

65lbs does not sound healthy. Consider consulting a nutritionist as well.

I've kept telling my Mom but she doesn't care. I don't even register on the BMI scale.

So why aren't you doing anything about it?

I can't. I've done everything I can.

Clearly you haven't, else you wouldn't be 65lbs.

World's saddest song being played on the world's smallest violin.

There's a random spongebob quote.

I've tried eating more. I've tried telling my mom. I've tried telling my Teachers. I've tried everything.

Being 14 means you have pretty much all the time in the world to spend on whatever it is you enjoy. Do that. McDonald's it up every now and then.

Go cry emo kid? Nah just do what Archie said.

you only "suck" at half-life mapping because you just started. nobody starts off as a genius.

Ahem. What about me?

QUOTE:

"Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them."

He gets picked on at school constantly, which results in his self-loathing. I was trying to help him with the bullying problem but it appears there are no solutions. That results in extremely low self esteem. He lives in the Midwest similar to where Dimbark is so all the kids at his school are idiots. I'm hoping TWHL members can come up with good suggestions for these kind of problems.

Well, I'm not saying I'm perfect or that this is a good solution but I used to be bullied constantly too. I was at secondary school for 3 years just putting up with it until I finally started reacting. Not in a good way either. Put a hole in a wall, punched a guy in the face, grabbed a couple others by the throat.

Certainly regained my confidence though. Started asking girls out. Started getting "Yes" as the answer.

Also, never pay attention to internet bullying. It's pathetic on their part. They torment people, hiding behind they anonymity.

Pretty much what Archie & Daub said.

At your age, I was 172 cm tall and weighed 40 kgs, as opposed to your 150 cm and 30 kgs - so kinda the same ratio. Didn't stop me doing some martial arts, with which I gained an extra 15 kgs. So if not parkour, do some not-that-jaw-breaking martial art, like Aikido, or some kind of Karate, there are tons of info about them on the interwebs, just look it up. If that doesn't suit you, just look for any kind of sport you'd like. It even helps your metabolism, if you're not sitting at your rig all day

So quit whining and do something about it.

"Did you even read this? I weigh 65 fucking pounds!"

I've seen people that are so light weight in their early teen years, but don't worry, you will surely double your weight until 20. It's just how everyone grows up, some guys grow up faster, some slower. That surely doesn't mean you can't pick up a sport ;).

At your age, I was about 1,8m tall and almost 80kg. How do you think I was feeling? Not really good at all, everyone noticed me and I was constantly having the feeling of being watched. But I coped with it...

If you're going to do traditional karate, or any other classical martial art (kendo, judo, etc.) it's super important to find a good trainer. For all the kickassery that they teach, there's an equal amount of meditation, emotional stability improvement, etc. Some pretty deep zen shit.

If you're not getting that from your trainer, you're not getting the real deal.

I'd stay away from the contact sport variations of those arts (at least for starters), they stray too far away from a lot of the mental things that make the traditional versions awesome. In my experience anyway.

^ Yup, that too.

Use metric system for ducks sake.

And don't be all emo and shit like that, go out and get friends. Do something, get a hobby. Seriously, too many people afraid to do show who they really are.

I think what archie said is spot on.
Take up a outdoorsey hobby. Springtime is coming. Go climb stuff. Start jumping off random things.

Of course this might not be for you, who knows.
Also, about your weight 'issue', if you can even call it that.
Just make wise choices when you eat. Don't over eat, eat your veggies, eat your meat/fish/poultry.. stay away from unnecessary sugars/carbs etc..
You'll grow.
Middleschool and the first few years of highschool suck. Just stay positive and you'll pull through.

Brotip:

It's ok to like MLP, just don't flaunt it.
Seriously.

It's okay to be a social outcast. It's definitely okay to be weird. Don't be afraid to stand out from the crowd and march to the beat of your own drum.

After all, you've seen what bad decisions people who are deemed as "normal" make.

This may be a bit hypocritical coming from me, but don't be so down on yourself. You're only 14, you still need time to develop your skills and abilities. You've already started, which is more than most people your age can say. And not everyone hates you. Those that do aren't worth being around anyway, so what does it matter? I sometimes feel like I'm disliked as well, but you know what? When I think that, I'm wrong. Let me tell you a story;
This one time, quite recently, I was somehow under the mistaken impression that my friends were just tolerating me to have someone to make fun of. (Harmless teasing, same as everyone does to everyone else, but I wasn't thinking straight) I told one of my friends that if they didn't start treating me as a friend, I wasn't going to tolerate it, and that I couldn't be their friend anymore. You know what she did?

She started crying. She was so upset because what she heard was "We aren't going to be friends anymore." It was at that moment I realized what an ass I was being. Of course they care. Of course they're actually my friends. So even if you feel like nobody likes you, you're wrong. You have friends. If you don't, you will soon; I know public school isn't always the best place to find people with your interests. But when you go to secondary schools, you'll find them. I guarantee you, there will be other people who play games other than Call of Duty and Halo. I guarantee there will be people as nerdy and geeky as you, that you can relate to, and who will be your friends. Ask anyone here if they have friends who are like that, you'll get a "yes" (except maybe Dimbark, but he hasn't been to a secondary school) Those geeks and nerds are the people who have your back through thick and thin. They are the people who will care about you.
And they are the real cool kids.

That last line was a 7000 on the cheeseometer, but that was lovely Jeff

Nobody here hates you. I don't. And seeing the comments above, I would venture that they don't either.

Your ADHD has probably contributed to you not noticing. But it CAN be treated, and not with drugs. Start reading books, and make it a point to finish them. Start with short books, children books if you will; then slowly move on to longer ones. Learn to live them and enjoy them. You'll realise they can have awesome stories, and you'll WANT to finish them. It's only a matter of determination.

You get bullied and your teachers hate you? Perhaps not as much as you think. I used to feel the same way, until I noticed things aren't quite what they seem. Look closely. Learn to ignore them in a healthy way. They won't understand and they'll try harder at first, but then they'll get bored and gradually forget about it. Meanwhile, learn to enjoy watching their pathetic attempts to piss you off. Make their weaknesses your strengths. You'll start grinning with malice and that will confuse them and piss them off.

Don't forget - you're the director of your own life. Don't just sit back and watch the film, because you're the only one that can put any meaning in it. You'd be watching an empty film otherwise. I'm guilty of the same, so I know.

"Use metric system"
EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

@Jeff I'm not in your situation. You have friends who you thought were making fun of you. I don't have any friends. Period.

"Learn to ignore them in a healthy way. They won't understand and they'll try harder at first, but then they'll get bored and gradually forget about it. Meanwhile, learn to enjoy watching their pathetic attempts to piss you off. Make their weaknesses your strengths. You'll start grinning with malice and that will confuse them and piss them off."

I told him to ignore them, but he said he can't which leads me to believe that he believes he has the OCD or something where he is obsessively compelled to react to the bullies which is of course bad for him. Also the bullies sometimes beat him up or something like that which is obviously not ignorable.

I do find it funny when my teachers tell me to ignore being beat up.

Gldsrc, I really would tell you some bad things right now, just because you act so WEAK.

When i was in grade school i used to be rejected for how i acted, because i was not interested in the "cool" stuff. I used to get into fights, i got bet up and ive beaten. Once i even got beat up by a whole 6g rade class (i was 8th). I never allowed any one to talk shit to me.
I never liked talking to people, nor hanging out with people, i preferred being alone and doing what i want to do. Even now i prefer to be alone, but no one can stand being alone.

I did not blame my self for what happened, i did not wonder why is this kind of thing happening, i fucking understood why. i understood that its better to be your self and who you are than fake it just to be accepted by others who have no interest in what you do what so ever.

Do not allow others to judge you because you are different, and do not allow your self to be let down by that.
You decide what you want to be, and what you want to do.
I went trough the exact same shit as you, but at a way younger age. I was accused for everything, i was the one to blame, i even remember my kidengarten teacher (You must go to these placed at age 5 - 7 before grade school) even used to slap my face, beat me up for no reason. But i did not let that go down on me, who is she to judge me and tell me what to do and disallow me to be who i am. Ive been trough many many things in my life, but that did not let me down, i know who and what do i want to be, and how do i want to live my life.

Don''t let these things get you down, you can do what you want, dont become something you will regret. Go out and find some one to hang with, don't think you will be rejected upon your looks or your social status. Be who you are.

"I don't have any friends. Period."
You will, as long as you don't scare them off by complaining about yourself so much.
"EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"
Yeah, I react that way to Imperial too. Makes no sense, right?

I sure like ti write a lot when sleepy...