Journal #8901

Posted 10 months ago2018-01-15 23:33:44 UTC
Admer456 Admer456What's this? Custom title? OwO
I'm fairly disappointed. (as always, short content for TL;DR'ers at the end)

In 2013, I told my parents how I decided that I needed to build a new PC. They advised me to have a laptop instead because I can take it anywhere I go. I agreed and we bought a 2012 Fujitsu A512, which is now my brother's laptop.

In 2014, my old PC died (the one with the Ati Radeon HD 4650). It was a bad day for me when I returned home. We got the Fujitsu S7210 after exchanging hardware with a local Internet café owner. I gave it to my brother as a punishment.

In 2015, when I was in 7th grade, my parents promised me a new PC if my GPA is 4.75 or higher. I studied and basically improved in grades a lot compared to 6th grade. My parents were amazed. No new PC, still. I had an R7 250 + AMD A4-6300 machine in mind with 4 GB of DDR3 RAM - something I considered "high end" because it was sooo superior to the laptop I already had (still on the A512 until July).

In the first half of 2016 (8th grade), my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA was just as good as the one last year. It was even better, actually. 4.85
But still, no new PC! Then I had an Nvidia GT 730 in mind, then the RX 460 as the year was ending.

In 9th grade, they promised me (and swore to God, which is a HUGE deal here) that they would buy the new parts if my GPA was 5 point FREAKING 0. I was surprised and a bit overwhelmed at first, but as soon as the second semester came in, things were easy as cake and I knew I'll have that sweet, perfect GPA of 5.0. And I did. My mum cried when she saw the grades report and nothing but 5's (A's) on it. "General success - excellent (average 5.0)"
I was even part of the "School's Pride" group of students.
Guess what. Nothing happened. However, I did collect about 70% of the budget for the PC, even after my parents "borrowed" half of my money that year.

In my 1st year of high school and first semester, my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA is at least 4.5 (which is the lower limit for the "excellent" status).

And I did. I even did a bit better, with a GPA of 4.57. I mean, it's high school, of course they were expecting me to drop in grades like this.

And then, I had about 90% of the budget and I decided to buy whatever percentage of the parts I can, but then... they borrowed yet another 200 KM from me.

4 promises. 4 big promises. 2 of which had relatively extreme conditions.
All broken.

And then my aunt came to a visit and mentioned me that I'll get a PC for free which she bought in 2012 for 2000 KM (1000€). I was super excited, thinking it would have a GTX 660 and an Intel Core i5 4th gen CPU.
But, instead it was an HP Compaq dc7600C Convertible Minitower equipped with a Pentium 4 640, Ati Radeon X1050/600/300 (one of those), 512MB RAM and a whopping 80GB Western Digital hard drive. It also has 2 DVD drives and a floppy drive.

Turns out someone posted the article on Pik (take it as a Bosnian eBay) back in the day and wrote the original price from the time the PC was manufactured (2005).

I seriously need to do something as I keep getting more excited and excited every time they mention the new PC, and then I get disappointed because it never happens. I'm convinced it's my own fault because I hardly ever speak to my parents about the PC, because I believe I'd annoy them that way. Oh boy, that needs to change.

Also, don't post "Get a job" because it's not going to help. I collect and save money over the years, and for all these 5 years of waiting and getting money for my new PC, my parents just "borrowed" (more like took) most of it.

At the moment, I have a bit more than 700 KM, which should be enough for the CPU and the GPU, though I'd rather wait and buy the GPU much later, since there was a jump in prices recently. I guess I could get the processor for 360 KM, the PSU for 60-80, the motherboard for 230 KM I believe, and let my parents "borrow" the rest of the money there's left.

Of course, I know that my parents will pay their little debt off someday. I can understand their situation right now. They have their own needs and problems. I'm not mad or anything, but I consider this a bit unfair.

Though, at they don't owe me nearly as much as they used to. :)
I mean, it's just 300 KM, I'm sure they will return it someday. I just don't like this concept of an "ATM machine son" which I'm currently being treated as. I'm wondering if I should just stop letting them borrow money from me because when they do, it's quite literally always at the worst possible moment.

My Nazi classmate was right. I should've taken most of the PC right when I collected 90% of the budget, and then collect some more and buy the remaining part or two... I had a chance, but I missed it just because my parents asked me "Isn't it too early to get one, though?"

And then my dad believes it's not worth spending money on new computer cases. He surely knows about computer hardware, but nothing past 2007, LOL. He believes there's also no need to get a PSU since it already comes with the case. Pfft. Be glad I'm not applying interest rates for your credit.

Oh well, I guess I should be more of a rebel next time I have the chance. My passiveness ruined a lot of chances I had before. Only now it started to hurt.
Worst of all, my parents just keep asking me "Why not a laptop instead of a desktop computer?" BECAUSE A LAPTOP WITH THE SAME SPECS WILL COST 2.5X MORE THAN THE DESKTOP PC IN THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY AND FOR THE SAME PRICE THE LAPTOP WOULD HAVE 33% OF THE PERFORMANCE THE PC CAN HAVE and I don't need that much power while I'm on the move. A PC is also more upgradeable than a laptop and modern laptops tend to break after a few years, unlike my trusty, 11-year-old Fujitsu S7210.

(sorry for all-caps, that question just drives me crazy. I'm going to tell the same answer but in a very calm tone if my parents ask me that)

Well, I guess I'll just sleep now. I wrote more than enough already. Oh hey, TL;DR:
  • I've been waiting to build my 'dream' PC for 5 years already
  • my parents have promised it 4 times (2 of which had relatively extreme conditions, like getting absolutely perfect grades), broke the promise every time
  • I've collected enough money, but didn't buy the PC when I should've, as my parents asked me if it's too early to buy it
  • over the next few months, my parents treated me as a living ATM machine
  • my aunt gives me her HP Compaq dc7600 for free, but having told me it's from 2012 and that it costed 2000 KM back then
  • I'm quite disappointed because I didn't buy the PC on time (and by my aunt's PC, but I can't blame her, as she wasted lots of money on a somewhat worthless rustbucket and didn't know) and now I'm looking forward to change from passive to active mode
Worst of all, the computer's graphics card is pretty much dying, as there are visual artifacts on the screen before freezing the computer.
Lol, I guess I should ask my classmate to give me some of that DDR2 RAM he saved from his old PC, and that Ati Radeon HD 3650 which he also had (pfft, now he's got a GTX 1060 3GB + AMD R5 1500X PC, so he doesn't care).
2018 started in an interesting way. We'll see how it goes.

User posted image

I'm just afraid the HD 3650 won't work well with it. Eh, it's good to have it around, in any case. Alternatively, I'll probably get a low-end Nvidia GT 610 or 710 because that's all this thing needs. A nice, little GPU which doesn't need a great PSU. x3


Commented 9 months ago2018-01-16 19:09:50 UTC Comment #68505
While it is quite unfair that they make promises they can't keep, I doubt they don't care or intend to go back on them.
Right now the worst thing you can do is 'rebel' against them or act based on assumptions you don't know are true, I half assed my way through all of my primary and secondary education and if I could I would go back in time and get the grades I should have had. The fact that you're doing so well in school is somewhat explanatory that they do care about you and are doing a good job.
Right now, in high school you don't even have an understanding of the responsibilities and pressures of adult life... And if your parents are anything like my dad, they don't want it, they need it for something they're going to keep from you because they want your life to be as painless and worry free as possible.
It's frustrating, but ultimately they know better than you and you should try to understand that. In the very least until you can move out and appreciate it first hand.
Commented 9 months ago2018-01-16 21:22:46 UTC Comment #68502
Wait some more years, and buy it yourself.

I am 45 now, and I can buy any damn computer I want.
Commented 9 months ago2018-01-16 22:57:24 UTC Comment #68506
I talked to them today about this issue, and in short, they said it's going to happen if something else happens. It's something about my dad's retirement, since my dad hasn't received his pension for 2 months in a row, so he's apparently getting a higher one this time.
I'll be fine if it doesn't happen, since this is only for January and February.

If I've been patient for years, I can remain so for a couple of more months at the very least. Besides, there's a part of a song that goes: "ono što se čeka dugo, bude najslađe" - "what is waited for the longest, becomes the sweetest".

For now, all I could do is upgrade my new rustbucket a little bit, since its poor GPU is dying. I'm thinking a GT 710 for 85 KM (about 43 €) would do the job just fine.
My classmate will gift me his 2 GBs of RAM as well. In the end, I think it might end up more powerful than my current laptop, but we'll see.

That reminds me of the moment when my brother asked me "Admer, when will I have my own rules in the house?", "When you get your own house.", "When will I get my own house?", "When you're old enough and have the money for it."

I am, however, going to buy it by myself. I'll pay for the parts by myself, build it etc. but the problem is my parents just owe me money because around 20% of my budget is missing due to them borrowing some cash from me. And there's hardly any way I can earn money any more (until summer, of course). My paid maps don't count since that's for games on Steam. :P

Honestly, now that I had that talk with them, I feel like this journal was quite unneccesary for the most part. They told me that they might return the last 200-300 KM they owe me, I might finally build the computer of my dreams, and everyone will be happy. It comforts me.
Commented 9 months ago2018-01-17 13:25:38 UTC Comment #68503
Perhaps it's my Chinese heritage, but the concept of borrowing or lending money to family members is truly strange.

Did your parents ask for tuition when they taught you to walk? Did they charge you fees when they prepare meals for you to eat? How about diaper changing surpluses at 3 am? Or holiday pays? How about end of the year bonus when you didn't die from some infection?

My parents gave me money when I needed it for a down payment for a house. I buy them stuff (iPhone, TV, cars) when they need it. There's never any mention of any repayment.
Commented 9 months ago2018-01-17 16:10:59 UTC Comment #68507
"Did your parents ask for tuition when they taught you to walk? Did they charge you fees when they prepare meals for you to eat?"
They didn't because it's priceless and of immeasurable value. No amount of money would be able to fulfill that childhood-long service. But they didn't do it for money. I'm quite thankful to have great, albeit a bit strict and partially odd parents that brought me to this world.

"My parents gave me money when I needed it for a down payment for a house. I buy them stuff (iPhone, TV, cars) when they need it. There's never any mention of any repayment."

You have a different system. Mine's been lasting since I was 9. I once collected about 400 KM when I was 10, and I had an idea to upgrade my PC, but my parents took it all and bought lots of other stuff, lol.

I was saving up for 5 years for this new PC, and just when I was at the peak, about to buy what so many people told me I deserve, they asked and took some money from me. One time, it was without even asking me, so I hid my wallet where they literally couldn't find it.

Also these 4 broken promises, and now probably the 5th one (or 4.5th? I mean it depends on something we cannot control, so). If the 5th promise is kept, I probably won't bother them ever again until I finish high school.

I didn't quite mean to 'rebel' in the way of studying poorly. No, never. That would be bad for my reputation and my self-respect, and multiply my self-pity. I hate F's, D's and to a slight extent, C's. These promises gave me that extra motivation to reach the more perfect scores, but that's just a cherry on top of the cake.

What's really motivating me is something else, something far broader and far-fetching than a single PC.
My jaw dropped when I entered the NSoft building with my classmates. We were so, so amazed that a relatively big IT company has its headquarters in this jalopy of a country, in the same city where I go to high school.

Therefore, by 'being a rebel' I meant having a stricter policy on this financial ecosystem going on at home. Either way though, it would end up worse. Bad grades = angry parents and no new PC, while refusing to give money = troubles with parents and perhaps more problems for themselves.

The talk I had yesterday calmed me down and brought me more hope, so I guess I won't mention this specific topic until either March, or June.
Commented 9 months ago2018-01-19 13:38:05 UTC Comment #68504
Have you considered this processor?

It's ten years old, but it's still running fast in my son's rig. Amazingly, you can get it for US$40.

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