If you don't wanna read through this whole thing, just scroll down until you see "The brick" heading.

Yesterday I had a Bosnian written schoolwork, where I had to write whatever about a chosen topic, whether it's an essay or a short story or whatever.

So, the topic was, "I'm opening a new chapter" and daaaaaaaamn I started thinking about it, inspiring me to write this journal today. Let's roll back the tape a lil bit!
Let's go to... 2017, one of my most memorable years, and the one I'm probably still stuck in.

The end of an era

I was right at the end of 9th grade. It was Monday. I think we went to that school a day or two more, before we were finally out of it. I remember being so clueless, yet determined to sign up for an engineering school in Mostar.

Being a kid from a village near Stolac, without ANY prior experience going to a city alone (always went with my parents, but only because they took me with them lol), I couldn't imagine going to the bus alone, and walking the streets alone, and EVERYTHING. It was terrifying to say the least. I grew up in a village without kids, so I had nobody to hang out with. I talked about this years and years ago, so I don't wanna repeat myself. TL;DR been very lonely for years and had absolutely no experience in social interactions, so I was very weird and embarrassing, until 8th grade at least.

Now, my parents wanted me to go to the local general high school, where I'd have all the same classes from elementary school, just in more detail. I didn't like Biology, Geography, Music class (for reasons you probably don't think of), and a couple of others. Chemistry and Physics were fine, but they felt like a chore at times, same goes for History.

And, truth be told, it would've been easier for me in the short run. Familiar place, familiar people, and it's right next to my elementary school, so it ain't any farther. Later on, I realised going to an engineering school in a whole other city was, in fact, the better choice.

New opportunities

At first, I think I had some regrets. Particularly due to Technical Drawing which was insanely difficult to get a good grade in, due to my shaky hands and slightly bent fingers. Electrical Engineering was a pain too, because the teacher was old and very high-standard. Squeezed everything out of you in order to pass. If you got any higher grade, it was because of luck. Nonetheless, I consider myself lucky.

She did make me learn lessons from year 2, in order to improve my grade near the end of year 1. I remember that fairly well. She taught us about trigonometry and alternating currents, which I was lectured in May 2018 or so. When the new teacher came in year 2, he was shocked (no pun intended) that we knew about AC stuff already, at least I did.

And so we enter 2018...

Reaching for the skies

That year, I participated in an IT competition, and I won 2nd place. I was still in year 1, so I was among the youngest participants. 1st place was won by a guy from my school, but in year 4. Afterwards, they decided to limit entrants only to students from year 1 and 2. So I could've participated in that next year too, right?

Well yeah, but I didn't. I had something entirely different to chase. As year 1 ended and year 2 began, I got Programming class, participated in a programming competition, won 1st place, yadda yadda. I feel like this is getting pretty long, so I'll just mention some key moments.

At some point, in year 2, I was the guy keeping the class from collapsing in terms of grades. We were doing CorelDraw stuff on IT class, and I helped out basically everyone sitting next to me. 2 guys on the left, 3 guys on the right. I got my own stuff done on time too!

In May 2019, I participated in a gamedev competition, winning 2nd place with my teammate.Good old times.

A slight change in trajectory

Year 3 was messed up, cuz' I got Democracy and Human Rights class, which sounded useful until I discovered that it's actually just a class where you recite the teacher's opinions, and memorise the definition of war crimes and different political/administrative organs/layers/institutions. Extremely boring. It's all theory and you have to memorise it word by word. I'm not that type of masochist.

Then COVID came along and prevented (I wouldn't say ruined) our plans for a school trip in year 4, as well as the prom and the graduation event, whatever it's called. I'm honestly glad I won't have any of that. No need to spend a grand on the school trip, no need to spend another on a fancy suit, hell yeah.

In the 2nd half of year 3, we only had online classes. It was easier to cheat, the tests were easier overall. Not that I cheated much. Either way, it wasn't too bad.

That same game development competition happened, but it was online, of course. However, the platform that they used (WebEx) was HORRIBLE for demonstrating your game. If it's online this year again, which is very likely, I'm not gonna participate. Can't complain tho', I won 3rd place and used a part of the prize money to get a microphone and double my RAM. Hell yeah!

Year 4 was interesting, because we got an alternating plan. One week you go to school, physically, the other week you go online. The cycle repeats. It's a huge risk for me since I go by bus, and about 1 in 10 passengers don't wear a mask. Oh well. :/

The brick

So, in year 4, we have to write a graduation thesis. We choose a topic and write about it, whether it's documentation of a project, or a research paper.

Since I was working on a game and an engine, I decided to write about the process of game development. I completed it recently, having written 48 pages within 3 or 4 days.I wrote the cover page in March.
"GRADUATION WORK - Video game design and development - Mostar, April 2021"

And THEN it hit me like a brick to the forehead. ADMER, YOU ARE ABOUT TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL!
Believe me or not, I'd never thought about it until that moment. Has it really been 4 years since I finished elementary school? This is insane!

With that, I'm about to end this chapter. It's been super fun.

Opening a new chapter

This new chapter is gonna be very exciting as I, yet again, have a major choice to make, and a LOT of obstacles potentially. When I finished elementary school in 2017, I had to choose between the local gymnasium and the engineering school. It was a simple one.

Now I got some rather interesting choices. Once I finish high school, which is in about 2 weeks, I can do one of the following:

• go to college
• look for a job
• rest for a year and then go to college
• go to the army
• work in the village

Realistically, the last 2 ain't happening, maaaybe the 2nd one either. Nonetheless, I'll try applying for a job at a couple of software companies here, because I believe I do have what it takes to enter. Then I'll go up from there. There are a couple of gamedev positions, so we'll see.

And if that doesn't work, I'll just go to college, no big deal. Ultimately, my goal is to register a company one day and sell games, which will need quite a bit of money to get started, which is why I want to go with a job first.

A couple of years ago, I used to imagine life in Germany, far away from my parents, working for some game company. Meh. I don't need that to live the way I want. Now I wanna stay with my parents cuz' it's cheaper and I'd save up a lot more money, and I'm definitely not moving out of this country.

We'll see what happens.