LOL finally got it to load:
Initial thoughts:
-turn up your maxviewabledisstance in hammer under map\map properties. (Some things disappear in your map because your distance is set too low). turn it up to 10,000 or somethin, or you can experiment to see exactly where the threshold is..
-many "hole" still where you can fall through the floor, underneath the map, and see through the ground to the skybox. (i'm running woot47, so i'm guessing some of these problems are already fixed)
-no vis or rad run, but i'm guessing too you'll have some lights in your next compile.
-your walls are unusually thin. make them 8 unints thick at the very least, at least anywhere players can "see" the edge of the wall. But really, vary the thickness of walls to whatever looks realistic (interior walls will be thinner thatn exterior walls, the scale of commercial buildings should be bigger in proportion--thicknesses and ceiling heights). Also noticed your scale in much of the interior spaces seems cramped. Scale them up a bit to again, whatever is realistic.
-you have trigger brushes visible in front of doors, so i'm guessing they are trigger multiples that you accidentally changed to a world brush.
-texture application is dodgy in places, well, pretty much everywhere! = )
-initial layout looks pretty cool. i like the urban settings and all the buildings. (will you be able to enter most/all of them?)
-good use of model placement with the trees, benches, cash register, etc.
-i found none of your doors work, and with some open doorways they are either too small to enter, or there is some invisible brush blockin the players way. (i tried to get noclip to work for testing purposes, but couldn't: is it possible in TS?)
Anyway, looks pretty standard, quality-wise for a beginner map. No better or worse than most beginner's maps i've seen. The more familiar you get with hammer and the compiling process, the better you'll get. it's not hard but it will take a while before you can build something worth downloading. (some people get the hang of this faster than others, but it took me a LONG time to manage anything decent). It depends how hard you work i guesss.
)