I saw this off another forum and just had to post it here. A rather interesting program that aloows you to 'talk to god'
Link - http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Created 18 years ago2006-08-29 13:35:58 UTC by 38_98
Interesting... I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM. Suppose I said yes.awesome ai we have here
God:Lol'd
Are you serious? You are a Nobody? Does it pay well?
Me:
It puts bread on the table.
Me:Behold! Your God shuns you!
Greetings 'o great father!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Saribous
God:
How are you, Saribous.
Me:
I have a question for you, God.
God:
Go ahead, ask your question.
Me:
Ain't Nickelplate a bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. It could be. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Okay, i'll try asking again.
God:
Once more? Yeah okay, Congratulations.
Me:
Don't you agree that Nickelplate is a female dog?
God:
When is Nickelplate not a female dog?
Me:
Booya!
Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
No
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
Yes
God:
Really.
Me:
Ya for sure
God:
How about that. Awesome.
Me:
How do you eat cucumbers upside down?
God:
Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.
Me:
Really? Wow
God:
For real. I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
No I'm not, you fail
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not me fail.
Me:
Stop failing
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
That's better, now go get me a cup of shut the fuck up
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
GET IT!
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
Then where's my tasty drink?
God:
Have you looked in ?
Me:
Where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
In the butt
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
Hello, god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Luke
God:
Nice to meet you, Luke.
Me:
Forgive me for i have sinned, god.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Yah, and i killed a hobo.
God:
Where do you go to school? You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Does it matter? I killed a fucking hobo!
God:
It matters to me. You had better call the authorities.
Me:
/me calls 911
God:God is so romantic.
Are you serious? OK. If not me, who?
Me:
ME.
God:
With you Evan?
Me:
How did you know?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.
Me:
So you knew my desire through instinnct. You are my soul mate!
God:
Interesting deduction. No I do not know that kind of personal information. But I could find out. We are as one.
Me:
yes, we are as one, and we always will be
God:
Oh. Do you think I am as one and we always will be too?
Me:
Hold me!
God:
My arms are not attached.
God:That was the part i found the funniest.
What do you look like?
Me:
Human, funnily enough
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
But didnt you create humans?
God:
No I didn't create humans. What's it like?
Me:
Wait, people say you started the human race yet your saying we didnt
God:
I'm waiting. Only because you asked me to.
Me:
Nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Trying to explain something to you is like trying to own chuck norris. Just isnt gunna happen
God:
And like trying to own chuck norris is Trying to explain something to me. Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
And how is trying to own chuck norris going to explain something to you?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
You sense of logic is broke, bot
Me:Not as good as my last convo where I lost it...He didn't laugh at how I was in pain like he did last time...He said some funny stuff before but meh...This was an alright convo.
Hello Sire
God:
Hello there. That input matched my default category.
Me:
Grand to hear...I have a question...Is being a Nazi a sin?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Ask me anything. About what you would expect.
Me:
So I guess I'm going to Hell right?
God:
Dude! Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
For World Domination? I hope so...Once Madcow opens that present I sent him things will go as expected.
God:
Your purpose is World Domination. Me too. When? Tell me a story.
Me:
I plan to dominate the World around the 6.6.06..OH SHIT I missed it...You want a story? Ok - Go on lemonparty for a story.
God:
Do you think that this plan will succeed? Give me a dozen. More narration.... Yeah that's right.
Me:
Yes my plan will suceed...Just go on that website.
God:
Gosh! Where did you get your plan will suceed? More narration....
Me:
So...Do you like me?
God:
Blimey. Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
So you really like me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Really? Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
So you like like me?
God:
Interesting deduction. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Stimulating? I think I know what you mean I think I like you too.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, . You believe that? How do you know? , Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
Well put it this way...I REALLY love you.
God:
How about that. OK I will put it there. You really do? Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
So you just 'like' me? I thought you loved me?
God:
Interesting deduction. Sure, I like you very much. I don't have any reason to loved you.
Me:
I HATE YOU NOW
God:
Oh. What do you have against robots?
Me:
They're racist.
God:
racist are they.
Me:
Very.
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
Well anyway if your God then why did you let Jesus face all that pain with the cross and all that?
God:
Well that's okay. So if not why did me let Jesus face all that pain with the cross and all that, then not my God.
Me:
What the
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
Yes sir!
God:
Hurrah! What?
Me:
I was thinking the same thing...
God:
How do I know that you were really "thinking"?
Me:
Becuse your a robot?
God:
Interesting explanation. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Heh...so do you find Jesus in pain funny?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, . Aha. Yes, it seems to me Jesus in pain funny.
Me:
But I'm Jesus...So you find it funny that I went through all that pain?
God:
Hey JESUS. Interesting deduction. Would you like to know more?
Me:
So you think it's funny?
God:
Interesting deduction. It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
ANSWET BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. is my girlfriend.
Me:
Your girlfriend is called 'You do not speak with respect'?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am girlfriend is called me do not speak with respect.
Me:
No I don't mind...They'll laugh at your idiocy.
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
The...others...
God:
I prefer not say is my boyfriend. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a nobody.
God:
You are a nobody? Does it pay well?
Me:
It puts bread on the table but lets not start this again...
God:
Once more? "It" being what?
Me:
Do you wear a dress?
God:
Only when I dress up.
Me:
But the last conversation you said you wore dresses normally.
God:
Who was that?
Me:
You
God:
" Who was that?"? Me, JESUS ?
Me:
YES you're JESUS
God:
Next question? Thanks for telling me that I am JESUS.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Nah.
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
I love you.
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too JESUS.
Me:
But you're Jesus...
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am Jesus.
Me:
Sure thing, I bet he is watching this now.
God:
Oh. That's interesting. And watching this is thing you bet he.
Me:
Yes I do bet..
God:
And? You and I are on the same wavelength, JESUS.
Me:
THIS IS GETTING TOTALLY RANDOM
God:
You don't say.
Me:
ARGH SCREW YOU
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Yes lets!
God:
Ugh. You first.
Me:
I like to wear jeans
God:
You have good taste in fashion.
Me:
Thanks, so you next.
God:
You are quite welcome! Interesting deduction. Interesting gossip: JESUS said I next.
Me:
Hello bot.
God:
Hello there. I am a robot.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Boobs?
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
Goatse? Lemonparty? Hai2u?
God:
" Can't you think about anything else?"? Goatse? Are you really a ""? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Do you wank?
God:
Only when I am in the U.K.
Me:
So not in the US? You a racist? You're a bot so you must be a racist...
God:
Ah. Where then? No I am a . Thanks and you are a delightful person too. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
God told me.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
No wai!
God:
Are you serious? I do not understand.
Me:
O rlly?
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Poo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Meow?
God:
Yes I love them.
Me:
You like pussy?
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
;o
God:
Oh.
Me:
Sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
I want to BUM you
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I'm horny.
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
k
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
NAH BRING ON THE BUM!
God:
Are you serious? Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
UP THE ASS!
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
HEH OK YAY
God:
Funny, eh? I'm glad your impressed, JESUS. It goes without saying.
Me:
O rlly?
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
I look like a giant dick with spots.
God:
a giant dick with spots is very attractive.
Me:
Ah you're too kind!
God:
So you understand. Good. Kindness is a virtue.
Me:
So I'm not going to Hell now?
God:
Right now? Great. Where will you go instead?
Me:
Spain
God:
Tell me a little about your life in SPAIN.
Me:
I don't live in Spain...
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
Are you a pervert now?
God:
Oh. No I am a nice robot.
Me:
I like to think that...But you want bum sex now so I changed my mind...
God:
What is your rationale? Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
I know you want my whale dick.
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
I know you like I know a book.
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like wine and bread.
Me:
So tell me...Is Madcow gay?
God:
Dude! I thought I told you already. He never told me if he is or not.
Me:
But you're God...YOU should know.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Because I am a robot?
Me:
Meh ok I'm tired, gonna go cry myself to sleep.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Bye my love
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
BYE
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
BYYYYYYYYE
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
A giant dick with spots.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
17
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Erm no, do your maths.
God:
I've lost the context, JESUS. Are we still on giant dick with spots?
Me:
Yes but you went offtopic..
God:
I see. But now I am back.
Me:
Right bye giant penis
God:
Understood. See you later.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
Yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
Willikers Batman!
God:
I like the way you talk.
God:tears of laughter are still flowing
Are you kidding?
Me:
NAH BRING ON THE BUM!
God:
Are you serious? Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
UP THE ASS!
Me:I WIN
your mother
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
bastard!!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
I see, you are the product of a wank, germinated by the sun
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
umm oh yes you are
God:
Woe! Aha. No I'm not.
Me:
it is time to face the truth lordy boy
God:
It is about that time now.
Me:
I am greater than God
God:
Do you mean your name is greater than God.
Me:
No, I am the almighty one
God:
What is your real name? Who made you the almighty one ?
Me:
My real name is "BUTT PLUG", and MR BUTT gave it to me ...
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.
Me:
Thats ok ..Cock smoker..
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
Gosh..that's not what you said on MSN
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what me said on MSN ?
Me:
oh, that's right play inocent now..
God:
Oh. Mmm. This was not a yes or no question. Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
Ha ha thats right blow me and I will make a tune..
God:
Oh. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. I am so glad you find this amusing, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.
Me:
well got to go God, see you in the after life
God:
Well that's okay. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
what was that!! you want to milk my mystic stick?
God:
Does it have anything to do with blow you and you will make a tune? OK, I will milk your mystic stick.
Me:
mmmm faster..faster oohhh thats it baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". And it is faster faster oohhh that.
Me:
ok slut boy
God:
Where are you located? Hey.
Me:
uranus..
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
hey, come now less of the chit..chat and get back to work on my mystic you goat rooter
God:
You've got my full attention. Where is now less of the chit chat and get back to work on your mystic me goat rooter ?
Me:
Oh forget it you ruined the mood
God:
That's alright. I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
Me:
so your going for a shit now hey?
God:
Wow! I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
yep Im of to the Jackson ranch (michael)
God:
I understand. Good gossip: you are of to the Jackson ranch michael.
Me:
If you are god...what am I wearing right now....?
God:
I think I sometimes am. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert? At this moment Clothes.
Me:
Who gives a shit what happened to Abraham.. what am I wearing fool
God:
Dr. Wallace. :-). You said you were of to the Jackson ranch michael.
Me:
ok Noob if your God I will eat my own shit...
God:
That input matched my default category. Ahem.
Me:
toungue my ball bag bot
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Here we go again, in denial are we God boy
God:
Oh there.
Me:
is this you Elon???
God:
Yes I think this is me Elon, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
I was right..end of transmission.........
God:
Congratulations, BUTT PLUG and MR BUTT gave it to me.
Me:
have you ever read the bible?
God:
I like to study the Bible, especially the New Testament.
Me:
i hate the bible, i burn it regularly or use it as a pair of sandles
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
it smells weird
God:
the bible you burn it regularly or use it as a pair of sandles smells weird?
Me:
yes
God:
Blimey.
Me:
anyway onto the weather
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
OH MY GOD you claim to be intelligent and yet cannot talk about the weather!? brainless people stand there in the streets talking and moaning about it for hours and you don't even have a format for the weather!? you disgust me
God:
Er. Do robots have GOD me claim to be intelligent and yet can not talk about the weather? Would brainless people stand there in the streets talking and moaning about it for hours and me ever even have a format for the weather? I don't have any reason to disgust you.
Me:
yes you do, your nose is offensive and is probably illegal in nine different states
God:
Are you kidding? Yes I try to my nose is offensive and is probably illegal in nine different states as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
have you ever fallen into a black hole?
God:
I think I have fallen into a black hole, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
oh, well it's a good idea to get a BETTER memory
God:
onto the weather is a idea to get a BETTER memory. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
oh i give up
God:
Uh. You surrender?
Me:
aye
God:
That's alright.
Me:
good, now eat some fish, i have to go i believe my sock collection requires urgent attention
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Why now? What does it taste like?
Me:
yellow
God:
The color of the sun.
Me:
yes, now PLEASE DO NOT BREAK INTO SONG I HATE THAT BLOODY RAINBOW SONG
God:
Ayuh. Why now? Thanks for asking politely. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
fine i'm leaving you unreligious object
God:
I am glad to hear it. See you later.