Journals
Jinar
Thought about asking someone to put this on Gmod. But I don't really know if it'll be worth it.
Thought about asking someone to put this on Gmod. But I don't really know if it'll be worth it.
Found this in one of the boxes - year 1999 , 50th year aniversary of the paper. Pretty interesting, ive never seen that image before, expecially not in combination with an intel processor.
The future is now!
The future is now!
For one, it's the "greatest handgun ever made".
For me, I programmed it.
I carry 4 of them.
Fully loaded they are.
How many I have?
For me, I programmed it.
I carry 4 of them.
Fully loaded they are.
How many I have?
We now have a solid date for Lyssa’s second brain surgery. For those who don’t know, she had an AVM 9 years ago and it grew back and brought a friend.
The date is September 16th. Exactly one month.
Unlike the first time where it was technically two surgeries back to back, this time it will be a two operations simultaneously. It will be done at the top neurosurgical hospital in the country in their most sophisticated lab. Hope everything goes well.
The date is September 16th. Exactly one month.
Unlike the first time where it was technically two surgeries back to back, this time it will be a two operations simultaneously. It will be done at the top neurosurgical hospital in the country in their most sophisticated lab. Hope everything goes well.
I fiddled around with UE for a couple of months and came up with a game, decided to make it a hobby project to learn 3D level design and programming:Here's the download link if you wish to try it: https://www.moddb.com/members/sluggard1/downloads/everblaze-early-demo-v02
It's that thing again that I didn't do last year because reasons but I'm back at it. This is the only clue you're gonna get.
Okay, it was a tradition to graffiti the crap out of an aircraft if they landed on the wrong carrier, as so:
Welp, here's your chance to do it to this:
Just scribble some graffiti on a paper, preferably with a thick pen/marker, take a photo and upload it to a hosting site and paste the link here, and I'll convert/attach it to the skin where you specify.
Here's an example, using my Note 4's Notes app to draw the text:
Specify where you want it on the aircraft... (If you want it anywhere specific)
That way it'll be easier to get into photoshop... And result in...
Tada!
Looking forward to some stuff 8)
PS - Feel free to PM your submission if you'd like to stay anon or something.
Plenty of space for words/writing if you choose that over drawings/doodles!
Here's an example, using my Note 4's Notes app to draw the text:
That way it'll be easier to get into photoshop... And result in...
Looking forward to some stuff 8)
PS - Feel free to PM your submission if you'd like to stay anon or something.
Hey guys, been a while since my last journal.
I'm making some pretty big life choices at the moment.. managed to get a job at a lovely lighting company in London, so will be making a pretty mental transition from lovely cushy Edinburgh life to the big smoke, and moving in with the missus as part of it. Big things.
I'll be sad to leave Scotland, it's my home and still means so much to me. Over the years, I've realised just how different the north and south really are, and can't say the move isn't without its worries. London terrifies me and no longer being in my home country makes me feel odd, especially with how volatile the political environment is. I'd move back in a heartbeat should there be a successful indyref..
On top of that, I'm not putting in anywhere near as much effort with the social groups I'm part of, and I'm really feeling it. I don't know why I don't - is it because i'm too much of an introvert or am I really addicted to the computer circuits in front of me? Completely gutting myself from social media hasn't really improved much. TWHL is part of that as well - I need to get myself a bit more involved with the discord and forums, had been planning on writing a few more tutorials but never got round to it. I'll try harder!
I'm making some pretty big life choices at the moment.. managed to get a job at a lovely lighting company in London, so will be making a pretty mental transition from lovely cushy Edinburgh life to the big smoke, and moving in with the missus as part of it. Big things.
I'll be sad to leave Scotland, it's my home and still means so much to me. Over the years, I've realised just how different the north and south really are, and can't say the move isn't without its worries. London terrifies me and no longer being in my home country makes me feel odd, especially with how volatile the political environment is. I'd move back in a heartbeat should there be a successful indyref..
On top of that, I'm not putting in anywhere near as much effort with the social groups I'm part of, and I'm really feeling it. I don't know why I don't - is it because i'm too much of an introvert or am I really addicted to the computer circuits in front of me? Completely gutting myself from social media hasn't really improved much. TWHL is part of that as well - I need to get myself a bit more involved with the discord and forums, had been planning on writing a few more tutorials but never got round to it. I'll try harder!
We're leaving for Tibet tomorrow. My entire family is going there for a medical mission, providing care and health education at rural Tibetan villages and orphanages.
We will refrain from making any political statement to avoid triggering the ire of the Chinese government. Chinese detainment center is not a part of our itinerary.
We will return in August.
We will refrain from making any political statement to avoid triggering the ire of the Chinese government. Chinese detainment center is not a part of our itinerary.
We will return in August.
I am grate artiste
I'll pay a visit to this city this summer and I'm wondering what to do. I'm not heavily invested in the history of London so I only feel obliged to visit landmarks like the Big Ben or Westminster Abbey because they're so iconic. I'd be more interested in understanding how the celtic-saxons-norse mixed together to create the modern British people. Eh, but that's quite a rabbit hole. I'd also like to see Stonehenge some point in my life, but I don't think this summer I can.
What I definitely am interested in is paying a visit to the National museum of computing, which is in Bletchley. So I want to ask you guys who know the city better and how to travel to other cities, if the following method is the most optimal.
Google maps tells me that it's about 80km away and I can get there in an hour by West Midland Trains or Virgin trains. But I looked to see the price of tickets and... well, maybe I'm not used to these travelling prices yet, that's why I thought I'd ask. It's about 15 pounds a ticket, which makes the roundtrip 30 pounds.
In Romania, the most I've paid for a 100km train ride is about 5-6 pounds (making it the most expensive option). Are there any alternatives? If not, oh well, I won't be doing this everyday :D.
What I definitely am interested in is paying a visit to the National museum of computing, which is in Bletchley. So I want to ask you guys who know the city better and how to travel to other cities, if the following method is the most optimal.
Google maps tells me that it's about 80km away and I can get there in an hour by West Midland Trains or Virgin trains. But I looked to see the price of tickets and... well, maybe I'm not used to these travelling prices yet, that's why I thought I'd ask. It's about 15 pounds a ticket, which makes the roundtrip 30 pounds.
In Romania, the most I've paid for a 100km train ride is about 5-6 pounds (making it the most expensive option). Are there any alternatives? If not, oh well, I won't be doing this everyday :D.
Some of you might recall me yammering on just over four years ago about having a daughter or whatever. My little princess, Ivory-Rose.
Ivory is now four years and three months old and should be starting primary school in September. However, it now seems as though that is not going to happen. Instead, she will need to stay at home most days, and attend primary school only in the afternoons. Why?
For about a year now we've been unable to get Ivory to speak. She can count, spell, sing along to music, repeat what you say and will happily respond to questions. However she wont start or hold a conversation. She cannot sit and watch a video or a movie because she cannot understand the point of it.
After battling with the NHS to get her in to see the right people over the course of that year, we now finally have her official diagnosis. She's on the Autism Spectrum. Exactly where we do not know, and we have a load of new assessments coming up before she should be starting at school, but currently we've been advised that her speech and communication remains at the level of an 18 month old.
This is of course very upsetting to both me and her mother, but not because of the diagnosis. That came to us with some degree of relief. We're upset because it now means Ivory-Rose will grow up in a world where she will be considered a lesser person, because of something that she has absolutely no control over.
She isn't broken. She isn't worth less than anyone else. She's a human being.
TWHL is the best community I've experienced online, which is why I feel I can post this journal with no apprehension. I don't need to tell any of you this, but keep being good people. Stand up for those who need help and above all, be patient.
Urby.
Update 11/07/19
Her position within the autistic spectrum has been described as spiky. She appears to have strengths and weaknesses within every aspect. Her motor skills are top notch, while her fine motor skills are quite far behind. So she can run around, climb, jump, kick a ball and so on, but cannot hold a pen correctly or draw a shape. This also makes Makaton quite difficult for her which is unfortunate given her speech and language delay.
Her S&L delay which is affecting her communication is actually being considered an entirely separate matter at this point. However, vice versa, her autism is affecting this in other ways. Apparently, when a child has a speech and language delay, they fall back on their motor skills and communicate via gestures. Ivory cannot do this because she lacks the context behind what she is trying to say.
It's a wonderful double edged sword... In spite of this however, Ivory has been approved to go to the school of our chosing, with additional funding for one on one support. She will be going for the morning session every day which is three hours of a more structured, learning environment. The educational psychologist is confident that she can start going full time as soon as the new year, depending on her next few evaluations.
We're at the beginning of a very long journey with this. Thanks for listening.
For about a year now we've been unable to get Ivory to speak. She can count, spell, sing along to music, repeat what you say and will happily respond to questions. However she wont start or hold a conversation. She cannot sit and watch a video or a movie because she cannot understand the point of it.
After battling with the NHS to get her in to see the right people over the course of that year, we now finally have her official diagnosis. She's on the Autism Spectrum. Exactly where we do not know, and we have a load of new assessments coming up before she should be starting at school, but currently we've been advised that her speech and communication remains at the level of an 18 month old.
This is of course very upsetting to both me and her mother, but not because of the diagnosis. That came to us with some degree of relief. We're upset because it now means Ivory-Rose will grow up in a world where she will be considered a lesser person, because of something that she has absolutely no control over.
She isn't broken. She isn't worth less than anyone else. She's a human being.
TWHL is the best community I've experienced online, which is why I feel I can post this journal with no apprehension. I don't need to tell any of you this, but keep being good people. Stand up for those who need help and above all, be patient.
Urby.
Update 11/07/19
Her position within the autistic spectrum has been described as spiky. She appears to have strengths and weaknesses within every aspect. Her motor skills are top notch, while her fine motor skills are quite far behind. So she can run around, climb, jump, kick a ball and so on, but cannot hold a pen correctly or draw a shape. This also makes Makaton quite difficult for her which is unfortunate given her speech and language delay.
Her S&L delay which is affecting her communication is actually being considered an entirely separate matter at this point. However, vice versa, her autism is affecting this in other ways. Apparently, when a child has a speech and language delay, they fall back on their motor skills and communicate via gestures. Ivory cannot do this because she lacks the context behind what she is trying to say.
It's a wonderful double edged sword... In spite of this however, Ivory has been approved to go to the school of our chosing, with additional funding for one on one support. She will be going for the morning session every day which is three hours of a more structured, learning environment. The educational psychologist is confident that she can start going full time as soon as the new year, depending on her next few evaluations.
We're at the beginning of a very long journey with this. Thanks for listening.
This is the first time we are building a gaming PC from scratch for him. He's always gotten my legacy PC by default, but he is turning 12 next month. I think it's time for him to build his own PC. It's a rite of passage for any geek.
I would like some suggestions on our proposed build, since we have no shortage of geeks here. Let me know what you think.
I would like some suggestions on our proposed build, since we have no shortage of geeks here. Let me know what you think.
NO. Just no. Not the sexual kind. We'll get there one day, don't worry! This is my "three topics in one journal" threesome, lmao. So before I say anything more stupid: (and trust me, you'll read so much stupid here)
Topic no. 1.
Utopia at Stake. What is it? Why did I decide to do this and give it another chance after giving up in 2016?
It's two things, really. ADM and UAS. Together, they make the mod. ADM is its technical foundation, with the vehicle system, future FMOD implementation, some nice utility entities and much more. So much stuff to do for ADM alone. The plan is to release it to everyone. You can think of it as SoHL, but my way.
UAS is the mod's content itself. Story, characters, assets, you name it. It's the overall experience in the mod too. The feel, the atmosphere, the lore, the music... you name it.
One thing potentially worries some folks, but not me. The sole existence of furry characters in the mod. It'll have dragons too. Dragons are cool. People like dragons. But, people generally hate furries. You'll like my interpretation of them, at least.
People think the mod would backfire because of this, but let it be. Let it be a reflection of the society, which, ironically, the mod will also try to be a satire of.
Topic no. 2.
My projects.
So, one of my old maps, ts_untergrund, has been getting massively improved over the years, but I never released that final version. This summer, I will. Hopefully.
Also, my high school map, I guess my classmates have waited long enough. I'll try to push out a playable version in summer.
Plans are there for fun_kobbl, and eventually some others. We'll see.
Then I can work on UAS. And hey, I'm not alone this time. There's someone in the team. And that brings me to my 3rd topic.
Topic no. 3. (I think it'd be wise to skip this - read at your own risk of getting confused and stuff like that)
I am burning. Once again. It hurts so much, but it feels so good.
Remember all my telltales how a girl in 6th grade said "no" to me?
Well, here's a new one.
About 5 years ago, I was still like a fresh piece of wood. Never touched by the rain, never seen fire, just chopped off a tree. Then I... saw someone I really liked a lot. It ignited a fire in me. I burned. My heart first burned and it burned the most, then I burnt in entirety and there was a forest fire.
I burnt the people around me. I burnt down everything. My reputation, my behaviour, my relationships and friendships...
She stood there like an ice berg, and stayed an ice berg. This fire couldn't do a damn thing. Not even a drop of water from that ice.
I had burnt out. There was no hope... I was alone for years.
There were some sparks there and there, a candlelight even. But all that together was never as huge as the big fire I had back then. I myself turned into walking ice. But I still had that tiny fire inside, which had me going for the whole path.
So what happened?
Then, about 20 days ago, I met a seemingly fiery one. But... her fire was extinguishing, has been doing so for a year. Truly a state of crisis. I could not see that at first, until I got closer. But before it even happened, all the ice that piled up on me, it melted just by a single touch from the fiery one. It evaporated.
And I? That tiny fire inside of me was going crazy. It soon expanded and caught me entirely. It warmed me up at first, and then I realised...
...once wood is burnt out, there's a chance for charcoal.
And charcoal, oh boy. Charcoal burns even hotter. And I am BURNING, baby, to the third degree. Even more than I did the first time. YEE HAW!
I met the real life equivalent of Jody, guys. I'm too happy. Way too happy. Not gonna say much more though. I just want a good ending.
:3
And hey. I know I'm young. I've got 3/4 of life in front of me. I know this lovey dovey stuff will just fade away one day. I just want to have some fun while it's there. But, while I'm at it, I'll try to be as mature and serious as I can.
- This is the part you may scroll down to, if you skipped topic #3 -
And yes. It's 2 in the morning at my place.
Thank you for the bit of attention, and have a good day/night.
P.S. Eeeeh, I forgot about the few competitions I've been in. Might write about them in 2 weeks...
Topic no. 1.
Utopia at Stake. What is it? Why did I decide to do this and give it another chance after giving up in 2016?
It's two things, really. ADM and UAS. Together, they make the mod. ADM is its technical foundation, with the vehicle system, future FMOD implementation, some nice utility entities and much more. So much stuff to do for ADM alone. The plan is to release it to everyone. You can think of it as SoHL, but my way.
UAS is the mod's content itself. Story, characters, assets, you name it. It's the overall experience in the mod too. The feel, the atmosphere, the lore, the music... you name it.
One thing potentially worries some folks, but not me. The sole existence of furry characters in the mod. It'll have dragons too. Dragons are cool. People like dragons. But, people generally hate furries. You'll like my interpretation of them, at least.
People think the mod would backfire because of this, but let it be. Let it be a reflection of the society, which, ironically, the mod will also try to be a satire of.
Topic no. 2.
My projects.
So, one of my old maps, ts_untergrund, has been getting massively improved over the years, but I never released that final version. This summer, I will. Hopefully.
Also, my high school map, I guess my classmates have waited long enough. I'll try to push out a playable version in summer.
Plans are there for fun_kobbl, and eventually some others. We'll see.
Then I can work on UAS. And hey, I'm not alone this time. There's someone in the team. And that brings me to my 3rd topic.
Topic no. 3. (I think it'd be wise to skip this - read at your own risk of getting confused and stuff like that)
I am burning. Once again. It hurts so much, but it feels so good.
Remember all my telltales how a girl in 6th grade said "no" to me?
Well, here's a new one.
About 5 years ago, I was still like a fresh piece of wood. Never touched by the rain, never seen fire, just chopped off a tree. Then I... saw someone I really liked a lot. It ignited a fire in me. I burned. My heart first burned and it burned the most, then I burnt in entirety and there was a forest fire.
I burnt the people around me. I burnt down everything. My reputation, my behaviour, my relationships and friendships...
She stood there like an ice berg, and stayed an ice berg. This fire couldn't do a damn thing. Not even a drop of water from that ice.
I had burnt out. There was no hope... I was alone for years.
There were some sparks there and there, a candlelight even. But all that together was never as huge as the big fire I had back then. I myself turned into walking ice. But I still had that tiny fire inside, which had me going for the whole path.
So what happened?
Then, about 20 days ago, I met a seemingly fiery one. But... her fire was extinguishing, has been doing so for a year. Truly a state of crisis. I could not see that at first, until I got closer. But before it even happened, all the ice that piled up on me, it melted just by a single touch from the fiery one. It evaporated.
And I? That tiny fire inside of me was going crazy. It soon expanded and caught me entirely. It warmed me up at first, and then I realised...
...once wood is burnt out, there's a chance for charcoal.
And charcoal, oh boy. Charcoal burns even hotter. And I am BURNING, baby, to the third degree. Even more than I did the first time. YEE HAW!
I met the real life equivalent of Jody, guys. I'm too happy. Way too happy. Not gonna say much more though. I just want a good ending.
:3
And hey. I know I'm young. I've got 3/4 of life in front of me. I know this lovey dovey stuff will just fade away one day. I just want to have some fun while it's there. But, while I'm at it, I'll try to be as mature and serious as I can.
- This is the part you may scroll down to, if you skipped topic #3 -
And yes. It's 2 in the morning at my place.
Thank you for the bit of attention, and have a good day/night.
P.S. Eeeeh, I forgot about the few competitions I've been in. Might write about them in 2 weeks...
And it’s a real steamer.
So thing have been compounding for a little while and I should vent lest I go insane. I’ll keep the points short.
I’ve been battling severe depression but I’m on some antidepressants so I’m ok. I’ve been officially diagnosed with with it.
I also have been diagnosed with autism which explains a fuck lot.
Lyssa has not one but two anomalies in her brain and needs another craniotomy to fix so we’re doing that again. She’s in tremendous pain all the time now.
My job as an illustrator really sucks.
SMJ has a prototype build ready that tests underlying systems. Story for the demo is in the works but the whole game needs a rebuild on an updated version of the engine so it runs better and has more features. Long time coming. Also I can map while running the game which is a cool functionality.
If you think SMJ is near completion, it’s not. I don’t even have the first level. I’m still experimenting with every aspect. Gotta get it just right ya know?
I could use help. Anyone with writing experience or as a hobby, let me know. I should have the story solid before anything else and it’s loose at best.
So yeah things are rough but I’m feeling optimistic. I really need support in so many different ways right now :/
So thing have been compounding for a little while and I should vent lest I go insane. I’ll keep the points short.
I’ve been battling severe depression but I’m on some antidepressants so I’m ok. I’ve been officially diagnosed with with it.
I also have been diagnosed with autism which explains a fuck lot.
Lyssa has not one but two anomalies in her brain and needs another craniotomy to fix so we’re doing that again. She’s in tremendous pain all the time now.
My job as an illustrator really sucks.
SMJ has a prototype build ready that tests underlying systems. Story for the demo is in the works but the whole game needs a rebuild on an updated version of the engine so it runs better and has more features. Long time coming. Also I can map while running the game which is a cool functionality.
If you think SMJ is near completion, it’s not. I don’t even have the first level. I’m still experimenting with every aspect. Gotta get it just right ya know?
I could use help. Anyone with writing experience or as a hobby, let me know. I should have the story solid before anything else and it’s loose at best.
So yeah things are rough but I’m feeling optimistic. I really need support in so many different ways right now :/