Journals

Just felt like putting a link to my Twitter here. Might start some sort of conversation.

Meerjel01's Twitter

I am not sure who will be reading this or even care, but I felt like putting this out there. I have been a member of the community on and off since 2005, and I had my checkered history. I came back a few years ago to try and set things right, and I think I managed to mostly remedy some bad decisions and actions. To try and do right by God, and God's will for my life, and by my own conscience.

However, after I have finished the Pathos Engine, I realized I don't really have any real reason to be in the Half-Life community anymore. I am working on a video game now, not a Half-Life mod. I however still sometimes produce content, like Half-Life models, etc. I might still post that here. However, I have decided it's time I moved on. For this reason I am leaving the Half-Life modding community, hopefully on much better terms than I tried to last time. I have deleted my Discord account also, to focus more on my creative work and job. I do my best creative work in solutide anyway.

I want to say thanks to everyone who was kind to me, and thanks to the people who gave me a second/third chance. I hope people enjoyed the content I created, and will enjoy any future content I create. I doubt I will return again, but if I do, well, we'lll see how it goes. Nothing in life is certain.

And for those I've left without a real explanation, let it be this: Sometimes there's irrevocable differences between two individuals which cannot be resolved, and I might not see a future for said relation. It is not my intention to leave on a bad note. I sometimes just don't see a solution, which might be an error in me.

In the meantime, I will try and realize what God has intended for me to do with the remainder of my life.

Thank you.

Yep. Cambreaker recently accidentally gifted me Hunt Down the Freeman, and chances are, I might stream it on TWHL Discord on Christmas.It's a bit early for me to say "merry Christmas", so I'll wait a bit.

My conscious. I had an idea for a comic involving the Half-Life 1 Alpha. It's gonna be like my Marathon comic where an OC walks around in Black Mesa doing funny things and getting herself into danger. I haven't started with it yet and it might not be made.

I already have a funny parody comic and I'm usually not making fan art of popular things like Half-Life. But if someone wants to change my mind then go ahead. I can listen.

With my vast spare time from being a full-time pediatrician, president of the Rotary Club, writing two novels, I decided that I should create the website for my son's soccer team.

https://www.millikanboyssoccer.org/

Granted, they're pretty kick-ass (well, most of the times they try to kick the ball rather than asses, but they do both).

After a few years of absence, in addition to problems and turmoils, I'm finally back.

I have a lot of new stuff to show, like new maps, some photos of hobbies and... maybe some mods to unveil.

The reason I came back is because I have matured, and I realized that reserved sites, like forums and this community, are very safe. Unlike social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, among others...

Too much life exposure drains you. The internet from 2015 until now has gotten worse, because these social media has grown a lot.

As I said before, I gonna post some photos of personal hobbies, but without exposing me too much.

Anyway, I'm back. I hope you understand.

If you want to say something, say it. I'll answer you later.

I created gamingparents.org right around the time when my son was born in 2007. I took the site down due to lack of activities, but I still have fond memories of running the site. I don't have any regrets having ventured into community building.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWGJy_0lSKW/?utm_medium=copy_link

I where banned from a discord server dedicated to the OG Xbox version of Half-Life 2 some time ago. Still feel a bit bad about it even if I don't remember what I did.

Or maybe they shut it off. Don't know.

Would you look at that, I've been a member for half my life

Would want to update the HappyFaces mod. So I'm gonna do that. cause I think I know what to add to it. I don't seem to have the code for it and neither do I have a way to play it cause I only have a 2004 version of Source playable.

Is it possible getting the vault item of HappyFaces removed so I can replace it? I might need to download the mod first tho.

It's not you people that are useless. I found that out now.

I am useless and I don't deserve kindness.

So I did it, I finally got to the end of Half Life Alyx. Is it the brake through VR game that's going to make it mainstream? Probably Not (not that I think it ever could even if it was perfect). Really thought if you already have a head set, it's a must have game. I'll just say if haven't played it, you might want to stop reading now if you are worried about spoilers. They game really takes the sentiment that a lot of critics have said about Half Life games being rollercoster rides and pretty much embraces it. It's a theme park attraction through and through. The Big difference being this took me 14 hours. I honestly found this quite shocking. I get that it's a $60 game but god damn! Don't expect to play this in one sitting(I could only play for about an hour at a time, but I might just be getting old). You will be guided by the nose, even more so than past Half Life game. Even this game's collectables will be more close to the main path than lets say the Lambda supply cashes in HL2. And I had my gun fully upgraded well before the end of the game, so don't sweat it. The new Gravity gloves are a no brainer upgrade from the Gravity Gun. saving me from having to bend down for ammo. and yeah Just picking up and tossing bottles is just as fun and novel now, as it was in HL2. Gun play is where things get interesting. Reloading and aiming are no longer as simple as moving your mouse and clicking. This lead me to some rather panicky moments (wonder if the Devs played Wolffires Receiver). This works great if feel with shambling zombies, than Bullet spoongy combine. Who's encounters I feel are often more frustrating than thrilling. And I kinda feel like the devs knew this, because firefights with them are surprisingly rare throughout the game. On a note of stuff I love, the world and environments. City 17 feel a lot more wild in this game. I get the feeling like the Combine's rule is still new and I can still feel a lot of the old world still linger. Oh and they pulled in a lot more of the alien setting form HL1 and Zen, Big plus. All the characters and writing felt solid. the change in VA for Elie is unfortunate (RIP) but he dose a great job still. Russell feels like a more toned down Wetly form Portal 2 and I'm cool with that. Now for some spoilery stuff. most of the game I really could just file under, solid HL2 style stuff but I do have some highlights. The part sneaking around a unkillable zombie monster, named Jeff. plays like a lot of the sneaky Horror games you see on the PC. And it's a great fit for VR, unnerving and tense for all the right reasons. I feel like the zoo level should have been longer. it's a great bit of irony to have it be the level that the Antlions are reveled (feeling a bit more like Starship Trooper bug, eh ok) We just need more zoo levels in games. The climatic part with the Strider would have gone over a lot better I feel if the artillery gun worked better. And the finale part in the big ship you've been working so hard to get to pulls all the same notes as the sidadal, but better. the crazy Inception style levels are a great treat and breather after the Strider battle. not much to say about the powered up Gravity Gloves other than it made me feel like Shazam! now on to the Big spoiler! So it's not Freeman you rescue but Gman. He gives his sepal and gives Alyx the choice to kill the Advisor that killed her father in Episode 2. I didn't wait to see if there was a HL1 style ending. Now the big thing is after the credits (thankfully short for a VR game) and wow Elie is a live and hands you (Gordan Freeman) the crowbar. Still don't know how I feel about this. So, over all HL Alyx is great, but my back and legs hurt after an hour of playing and my face gets sweaty.

WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!!!