Journals

Finally got enough money to build my new PC, with a brand new powerful GPU. I can, finally, run the latest version of blender without having to hear the fans go nuclear.

A colleague of mine has the Steam deck so I've asked him to let me try some classics...

Hello everyone, I just wanted to inform you that the reason Pathos updates have been so dry and that I haven't been around, is that I've been dealing with health problems as of late. I had a gastrointestinal infection that, coupled with my autoimmune liver disease, has wrecked my health for the past 2 weeks. I've been mostly away due to not feeling well and needing to(slowly) heal. Once I am better I will be more active. Hope you are all doing fine, and I'll see you around.

That's another thing that's hard: limiting the space the player can move in. It's easy if the level is indoors, all corridors, like Nova Prospekt or the likes: just lock the doors. Nature's limit on level size.

But outdoors? It's hard to put impassable barriers anywhere without making the gameplay feel stilted, awkward, forced. Artificial.

You're in a part of the city where every exit has conveniently been blocked by collapsed buildings? That doesn't make sense, then how did you get in there, and how is Gordon gonna get out there once the screen fades to black?

Or put up traffic cones and riot barriers and cover them in toolsinvis? That's even worse. Gordon can shoot down helicopters, but a traffic cone is enough to stop him? Nah.

Separating the playable environment from the backdrop that's just there to liven up the scenery is pretty hard, at least in my experience. Guiding the player naturally, so they try to go down routes they can't as little as possible and can tell easily where they are supposed to be and where not is even harder. Campaign maps don't have this problem; each level transitions into the next, so the questions of entrance and exit are already answered, and having only the exit ramps blocked while the highway remains open is much more plausible than walling the player in on all sides. But standalone maps have to have a beginning and end that makes sense (at least that's what I want for mine), and that's tough.

I haven't really found a good answer for it yet. Entrances are easier than exits – just some drops that the player can't climb back up –, but it's something I struggle with immensely (and the way my brain works, I can't get to work on the rest of the map until I've solved that problem – it sucks, really).

it has new story, new charactors, betrayl, freindship, and death.

#include <iostream>

using namespace std;

class CObject
{
public:
    void ExecuteDeb(int num)
    {
        printf("Printing! %i ", num);
    }
};

class CObjectLinker
{
public:
    CObject* objs;
    int numObjs;

    CObjectLinker(int num)
    {
        numObjs = num;
        objs = new CObject[numObjs];
    }

    void StartExecute()
    {
        int number = numObjs;

        keepExecuting(number);
    }

    void keepExecuting(int& curNum)
    {
        objs[curNum].ExecuteDeb(curNum);
        curNum--;

        if(curNum < 0)
            return;
        keepExecuting(curNum);
    }
};

int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
    CObjectLinker linker(4);

    linker.StartExecute();
}

Might not be of interest but something.

(Voluntary project so no payment)
Engine: GoldSrc (Half-Life)
Roles Needed: Programmer, Concept Artist, Level Designer (LD role full)

Hello and good day.
Lambda Team is working to revive the cancelled Hostile Takeover expansion as a mod. We aim to make it our own by taking the essence and adding our own ideas and creativity to make it unique and not just a copy.

It's a Singleplayer campaign, set in Half-Life's universe during the events of the second half of the Resonance Cascade, in another region separate from Black Mesa. The player steps into the shoes of a junior G-man and works to complete his assignment while accompanied by members of Team Fortress: Classic (not TF2).

The mod will include:

• New combat mechanics with new and original weapons, plus G-man "powers".
• New and original NPCs that change up gameplay.
• New locations.

You will be working alongside the rest of the team, consisting of Writers and Game Designers who have already begun painting a good picture of the mod and its roadmap. As a member you will also be able to influence the design. Scroll down to see current work in progress

If you're interested, DM me in Discord @Chimz76 even if not meeting all requirements.

General Skill Requirements

• Good team spirit and communication.
• Open to feedback and criticism.

---

Level Designer Skill Requirements:

• Familiar with Half-Life Level Editor tools.
• Familiar with Blockout/Grey Boxing and Fast Prototyping.
• At least one published Goldsource map.

Bonus Points:

• Familiar with concepts of Level Design.

---

Programmer Skill Requirements:

• Able to code NPC behaviors.
• Able to code weapons.
• Familiar with FGD development.

Bonus Points:

• Familiar with Half-Life Featureful SDK.

---

Concept Artist Skill Requirements:

• Able to work closely with designers.
• Able to paint pieces that can be read and used by modelers.
• Experience in painting weapons, creatures, characters.

Bonus Points:

• Experience in painting environments.

Some sneak peaks

Hi

Weird nature about the internet. It's both a place to share and not share. What's ok to share, what's not?
Why do I feel more comfortable sending this here as opposed to other online communities, my online friends?

I don't need to share this. I could write this personally just for myself. In this case I already have but I think it's still a fascinating thing to think about.
Maybe it isn't at all and I'm just weird. I already know I am aha.

I'm kind of fortunate enough to have not suffered any major death in my life yet. My grandfather died whilst I was still in the weird "baby comatose state", so that didn't really effect me. I lost a dog, which sucks but at the end of the day isn't a human. A great uncle died and whilst it was a little upsetting, didn't effect me too much.

On Tuesday (yesterday for me) my whole class was gathered up. Someone from our grade had taken their own life. I was quite shocked. Still am.
I didn't really speak to the girl. We had spoken before but we weren't even 'just say hi acquaintances', very neutral to each other I suppose.
I think this is why I wasn't able to have a deeper, more physical emotional response. I simply didn't have that connection. I felt hit in a more "abstract", general or broader way. I just felt (and again still feel) numb, plain, blank, empty.

I couldn't relate to some of the other people in the class. I hadn't really lost somebody before and in this particular situation I didn't lose a friend or family member. Yet it still kind of really hit me. Nobody wants to think or expects that suicide is the path someone will take. Then to hear and have it confirmed they did is pretty heavy hitting.

I didn't speak to her but I saw her, I heard her. She was in my classes, she spoke, she did things. She had a presence within the grade.
Obviously what is shown to the outside doesn't always accurately reflect what somebody is feeling on the inside. Even knowing this concept it's still such a surprise. She was with me on a trip only two weeks ago, speaking and laughing with her friends. She was here last week. She was here Monday, alive. In between me leaving school and arriving in the morning on Tuesday she took her own life.

She's a young adult just like me, at a big opening point in life. She's a person just like me. There's an acknowledgement of her as a person that exists. It's not some far away, unrecognisable name or person.

It's also kind of struck me because I've never applied the thought of mortality to people at school. Obviously I know that death is a thing. Accidents, illnesses and unfortunately things like this can happen. Still, I don't think of a person at school, especially a student, especially one within my grade as being mortal. People dying within your grade isn't a thing that feels like it should happen.

Nobody will be able to gauge exactly all her thoughts and feelings, especially in the moment. I can't confirm whether she did or didn't try to reach out to somebody, whether in the past or even right before it happened. But to think how she must have felt. For however long she had been suffering and before taking her life. To think that at the end of it all, the only perceived option for her was to take her own life over anything else.

I guess it just makes me feel empty. I feel sad and weird because it happened. I then feel weird that I care so much despite having no real connection with her. I feel guilty that I get to just live right now. I feel guilty that I feel this way considering the way her friends and family must feel. I don't know what I can do support or help in the situation, I don't know whether I should.

I just don't know...


Journal over. A weirdly comforting song from a movie genre not so associated with comforting...

It's another revolution! Of Earth around the Sun...

Not much has happened in my life since last year. I'm continuously trying to come to terms with some emotional parts of my life and move on. Acceptance is the hardest thing in life. Taking care of your spirit, or soul, or whatever you want to call it (having a connection with something bigger than yourself) is harder than going to the gym. Constant negative news from the world, new wars, the war next door in Ukraine.... is sometimes taking a mental toll.
Yet, I find myself prepared better than ever to cultivate a positive outlook. Maybe life does get better in the 30s, who knows.

This year marks my first time I went snowboarding outside my country, and I visited the French Alps, specifically Les Trois Vallees! Here's a picture of me on one of the tops! I was constantly in awe at the landscapes. They're breathtaking! (especially at >3000m ) Last year I've also exchanged my Hornet for a Tracer, and now I'm timidly planning a hypothetical trip to Italy on 2 wheels. But I'm not sure yet, I think I need to find some partners. I did a 1000km trip last year and apparently it's not as comfortable as a car trip, who knew :)). I have second thoughts about all this stuff. I dream of spending a summer with a girl in my father's countryside orchard.

On the gaming front, I have very little time to play new titles, especially single player ones. I mostly play some CS2 with a couple of regulars now and then, and recently I played a few matches of Helldivers 2. I'm only level 10, but I think this game is a bit overrated. During the Christmas break I played and finished Talos Principle 2. I heartily recommend it, but to be played in order (so Talos Principle 1 -> Talos 2).

On the cinematic side, I guess everybody saw Dune 2. Other than that, haven't seen many new films. Maybe I'm out of the loop but most of the Hollywood stuff, with few exceptions, seems like the same series milked to death, same universes... it's growing stale and tiring. So for some reason I'm shifting my attention to European cinema. Recently I've watched Close (2022) and it was heart breaking. It's a dramatic coming-of-age story, it kinda reminded of some lost friendships, lost childhood innocence and being carefree, and relationships without closure.
I've also started watching The Three Body Problem, I think it has potential.

On the books side I recommend "Scattered minds" by Gabor Mate and books by Carlo Rovelli (ex: "White Holes").

How's everyone doing?

Some might've noticed I've been absent on the Pathos Engine channel of the TWHL Discord. I've been dealing with some problems in life and for the sake of my sanity I need to take some time off from the project. Yes, again, and this time for a bit longer. If you have any burning issues, please e-mail me at doommusic666@hotmail.com or submit an issue on the Pathos repository. Until then, take care.

One of these days I was doing my yearly pilgrimage to the Hazard Course when, for no particular reason, I decided to examine the more overlooked corners of those maps. So I took the HEV suit, went into the next room, and noclipped up to the pipes along the ceiling.
That's when I found this lil' guy: I had never seen this rat before. I had never heard any mention of this rat before. Has it always been there?

After this earth-shattering discovery, I realized that, though I knew the Hazard Course was the only place in the game rats could be found, I did not know how many. So I decided it was time to take a rat census. I looked on every nook and cranny I could think of, but didn't find any more, so for now, this should be the definitive answer: there are 5 rats in all of Half-Life.

Why did I do all of this? ...I don't know! I just think it's amazing how it's possible to keep learning new things about this game, even after you think you've seen everything. Now, what I want to know is: did YOU know about 🐀 #1?

Went to a hike. It was agonizing, but the view was worth it.

Every map has to be about something. There has to be a goal, a reward for pressing buttons, shooting enemies, solving puzzles. At least that's how I feel: I want to feel like I've achieved something beyond the sum of the tasks the map gives me. I've been trying to formulate some goal or other for a map I've been planning, and that's really been the hard part.

A campaign map doesn't have that problem. There's an overarching story to guide me, the goal is "make it through the level to the next plot bit". There's voice acting and cinematics to reward me, Alyx talking to her father, Kleiner broadcasting to the city, etc., all leading to the game's climax. But in a self-contained map, I have to provide the goal. I have to tell the player "this is what you're working towards".

My idea was, okay, there's a Combine installation that needs to be shut down or destroyed. That's easy enough. That's a common goal.

What kind of Combine installation, though? What does it do?

After all my puzzles and combat encounters, the player is gonna barge into that Combine installation and blow it up or flick the off switch or whatever. The actual act will be just as basic as the rest of the map: press a button. So that act of pressing the button needs to have meaning. What did I achieve when I blew up that Combine fortress?

Will this allow the rebels to mount some large offensive? Was it producing weapons? Churning out troops? Jamming communications? Conducting horrible experiments? Housed a superweapon that could obliterate entire city blocks?

And I have to make that decision before I start building it, because its purpose will inform its design. Form follows function. A secret lab full of torture chambers will have a different design than a weapons manufacturing plant or a troop garrison. So I can't just build a generic outpost and pencil in its purpose later, not without major, major revisions that may as well be a complete rebuild.

And coming up with that sort of purpose or goal is hard, harder the more I want the narrative to make sense. The map I'm planning is set in an urban environment that's largely accessible to regular citizens, so any sort of super secret, super access restricted installation is out. I've written myself into a corner before I've laid down the first brush.

Writing it all out like this helps me focus, so that's nice, but the problem doesn't fully go away.

(This is the next logical step after last week's journal about planning.)

Every time I try to make a map, I force myself to try planning it beforehand instead of building away willy-nilly. And every time, sooner or later, I sit in front of a stack of badly hand-drawn maps and am out of ideas. Stuff I draw doesn't fit, doesn't work, I had a better idea afterwards, the proportions are off, the page is too full… you name it.

I tried different approaches. Floor plan design software, for one, though it's tough to find any that is free, works offline or without an account, and lets you save in some useful format.

So last night, I thought: what about writing?

I know I can do that, so what if I wrote descriptions of the maps I wanted to do? It can only get better, compared to drawing and sketching...