Forum posts

44 actually. I just went back and looked.

don't miss a cake. That would be a crime. sugar is good for us.

ohhh, I was about to tell that one with the first elephant joke, but decided it wasn't that funney, lol.

Here is a group of medical terms as defined by blonds.
Barium What to do when treatment fails
Bowel Letters like A E I O or U.
Cauterize Made eye contact with her
Colic Sheepdog
Dilate To live long
Enema Not a friend
Fester Quicker
Hangnail Coat Hook
Labor Pain Hurt at work
Tablet Small table
Tumor more than one
Varicose Nearby
Vein Conceited

Me finds me jokes very witty.

i ain'ted gotem, nio ! baid gremma, oa puntilliasion? ME'z gott'sem sum gud puntilliasion end, lot'z o gremma# Naw, mea gott'sem betta den' yall, wit' dubbayou eon toip! Y D'yu Thianc dat me'z gott'Zem baid Gremma, end puntilliasion.

(How many mistakes are in this paragraph?)

speaking of real jokes.
The following are actual exerpts from classified sections of city newspapers.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Semiannual after-Christmas sale.

Gile wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Dinner special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

Now is your chance to get your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home with you too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery, we do it carfully, by hand.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appriciates. Automatically burns toast.

Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Prostitutes appeal to Pope.

Plane to close to ground, crash probe told.

1 Paracute, used once, never opened.

The last three are the only of these I myself really like, but I have to collect all the jokes I hear, so here are all of them.

oh, cause it started with a ruins temple type theme. What happened?

well, I was vacationing in Myrtle Beach South Carolina when the hurricane struck. While It struck, I listened to Badger Badger Badger.

I Think I live in the same state as coolfat, although I won't tell which one that is. I try not to give out personal information about myself on the internet.

Goldwave is what I use. Its great.

my avs ------->

7 fun things to do in a mall:

1: Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really can't see it?"

2: If your patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.

3: Sprint up and down an escalator.

4: Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.

5: At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

6: Rummage through the jelly-bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.

7: In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, "I see London, I see France...."

um, that was kol's little crystal, but not to be criticle.

You will know when it is released G_KID.

Floater, noooooo.....

Some amusing things to do in a crowded elevator:

Smack your forehead and mutter : "Shut up! Shut up! All of you just shut up!"

Crack open your breifcase or purse, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare, grinning, at another passangeer for a while, then announce: "I've got new socks on."

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passangers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Stare at another passanger for a while, then announce: "Your one of them." Then move to the far corner of the elevator.

Walk with an appropriatly sized cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

Wear a childs puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other passengers.

Say "Ding" at every floor.

Draw a little square with chalk on the floor and announce to the other passengers that it is your "Personal space"

Anounce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host body"

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

"Are you tired by embarassing acne?"

takes out chease grader and rubs on face

"Well worry no more! Now! for a limited time only, you can buy the acne killer 5000, a $30 value, for only 16 easy payments of $2!!! Thats right, $2!!! It will eliminate all acne, garentied!"

(Fast voice says fine print)
"We are not responsable for any injury that may occure while using the acne killer 5000, these may and probably will include: Loss of facial hair, loss of facial skin, excrusiating pain, serious bleeding, and death."

(Normal voice)

"So buy the acne killer $5000 today, and say goodbye to embarassing acne!"

Chime

=FIN=

The rules are in the readme, and are set up by kol. When you get the map, then you can see the rules. Maybe I should have said that before.

Isn't there an example map for this by kol?

One day, Adam was walking around the garden of Eden, and God saw that he was bored. God came down, and said to Adam

"I see that you are bored, so I will give you a companion. She will be beutiful in every way, smarter than any creature, more kind and loving than all before her. She shall serve you, and love you."

Adam thought at this and asked God

"Wow, thats pretty good, but, how much will this cost me?"

and God answered

"An arm and a leg"

so Adam Thought a moment and said

"Oh, thats a lot, what can I get for a rib?"

I Have at least 1 million jokes stored up, and I'll tell them here periodically.

AH! a hurricane is coming! Help!

wish me luck in this evil weather.

JOKES! JOKES! LETS HEAR YOUR JOKES!

Heres one to start off.

do you know how to catch an elephant?
you dig a deeeeep hole, and fill it with ashes,
and when the elephant comes by,
you kick it in the ashhole.

or even simple blond jokes like:

Why can't a blond double a recipe?
because the oven doesn't go up to 720 degrees! (This is farenheight for all you C people.)

When you make your ambient_generic thingy, click the loop thingy.

I am glad to be a proud member of the best half-life site there is.

This shall be the first TWHL compo I enter. I shall try my best, and exell above the rest. Wish me luck. I started making glass today!

Yes Gman, you can be an alternate if someone leaves, like Zeg just might.

I think we should give them 3 days to confirm, and they are dropped down 3 places if they do not arrive here. If they do not come back in the time period till they reach their next spot, they are off the list, and put in the "kicked" bin. Then and Alternate like Gman here will swoop down and be put at the end of the line.

NEW LISTS:

Master List:
+1:Ministeve
+2:BrattyLord
+3:JB + Anthony
+4:es major
+5:rabid monkey
+6:M_gargantua
+7:hazardous!
*8:Seventh Monkey
-9:Zeg
-10:trapt
-11:RileyMo
-12:Captain P
-13:ZombieLoffe
-14:Peace and love
-15:Jaardsi
-16:async
-17:red
-18:stusaysyo
-19:Davideo59
-20:bryce_boi
Alternates
#1:Gman
#2:Greg
Kicked
none yet.

If I missed you as an alternate, speak up.

This is a new way to do a new list. The bold subtitles are not needed, but just the # next to an alternate and a % for the kicked. If a kicked comes back, then they are launced up to the front of the alternate list.

20 people in full list. THis is a good rule.

Well, I don't think we should allow people we have never heard of before (e.g. red, stusaysyo, rileymo),

Anyone who wants to participate can, unless I say they can't. This is so that someone evil and mischevious who would probably try to mess it up couldn't do that. I don't know red, or stusaysyo, so I really have nothing against them.

Rileymo has been here a long time davideo. I wonder why you have not heard of him?

I'm back, and so that I make this clear I will post it in big ugly bold letters.

-DO NOT POST THE LIST HERE, ONLY I SHALL DO THIS TASK

Here is a copy of what the list shall look like:

Master List
+1:Ministeve
+2:BrattyLord
+3:JB + Anthony
+4:es major
+5:rabid monkey
+6:M_gargantua
+7:hazardous!
*8:Seventh Monkey
-9:Zeg
-10:trapt
-11:RileyMo
-12:Captain P
-13:ZombieLoffe
-14:Peace and love
-15:Jaardsi
-16:async
-17:red
-18:stusaysyo
-19:Davideo59
-20:bryce_boi
#1:Gman
#2:Greg

If you want to make really amazing archetecture, you have to be consious of every detail. you can do this using VM. Research and learn about VM. Give yourself a goal, like, "I'm gonna make a cello with VM" then try and do it. If you fail, you will learn about VM's limitations, but if you succede, you will learn about what is possible, so there is no failing using this tequniue of learning. Learn from your mistakes, then move on.

hmmm... what about texturers? I can texture.

If you do start another project, I will be glad to help, as I always am

I just think that to be a moderator, you would need to have been at this site a long time. it has nothing to do with your mapping ability, so don't take it personely. People who have been here longer understand more of how the site works, and know the people better. They also have a constant urge to try and help TWHL. Give it time trapt, and you will adapt into one of the regulars at TWHL.

And I was joking about anthony. Why would an av matter in moderating? assume everyone has common sence.

There is something you should know about me, I joke way too much, so please don't take me seriously, unless you know that I am being serious. This here is a very serious post, because now I feel bad that I insulted trapt. I really didn't mean to, but just tell you that I don't think you are yet cut out to be a moderator of TWHL. This job is for the best here, not the best mappers, but for the best posters, most neutral people in arguments, best with spelling and grammar, is a mature individual, and has been here a long time. With time comes experience. remember that.

so monkey, are we gonna have a stupidest post trophy?

wow, Mr. Anonymous, try and master the quote before trying to quote someone.

Foxfire, nice av, lol. a cyborg George Bush, lol.

There was a project started like this by andy a while ago. It failed. Miserably. I dougt we will do it again, but in the meantime, I started the famous "I got an Idea" project, where we each make a room and keep passing it along. see it in the maps n' mods, although, the origional was deleted when andy started cleaning the place up.

well, kol isn't on as much as most. Anthony doesn't have an av, so hes out. and trapt, you havn't been here very long at all. Why do you think you could be a moderator? I Know I was gone for a week, but you are pretty new here. I've been here 250 days, and I haven't been here long enough to be a moderator. (Rabids been here less, but he posts the best out of all of us.)

I really don't like this steam, but now I see its the only way to go. Thanks for telling me. I hope to see you guys on some time. somewhere. when you least expect it.

I got my new computer, as many of you know, and now I can play online with CS. When I go on, there are no WON servers there, and I know that they killed them all. How do I get to play CS again? and TFC? Please help a brat out.

There are a lot of nice honest people on TWHL, but not all of them can be moderators.

see twhlmix e-mail acount and look in the notes. Thats were I hid the list.

I missed alot, but now I'm back, but I saw andy's post about the moderators. Here are the people I would really consider, if we get more, making moderators. These are just the few people I would strongly recomend.

RabidMonkey777
Captain P
MOP

I would say Pepper, but, He really couldn't help out with the spelling and gramatical errors here, as he makes most of them, even more than me.

let me just say this. We can be number 1, but that doesn't mean we are voted number 1. we are the best anyway.

leave floater alone you *******

ummmmm.... delete that list. Our list has 20 dudes now. Whats going on?

the compasses are nothing but trouble to me. I try to avoid them at all costs, but still use them when dealing with enemies.

If you want the land not to just dissapear, but move away from you really fast as one would pull a carpet from under your feet, use a func_train.

Floater, lets see some of your skinning. Post the pictures here. If its really good, I might join.

Thanks a lot. I really want to learn C++, since it is what they made Half-Life out of.

I made my own, as you can see.

what ever happened to swan man ministeve?

bring back swan man!!!

well, I've started on a map already, with two wooden pirate ships, and an island in the middle. The only water there is is so that the ships can be in it. They have ancors, and from the top of their mast, can see each other, so that would make for some good sniping. I'll post a screenshot as soon as I finish the first boat.

As for your ships, have them right next to each other, and the same height, so that people can charge across planks that are drawn across, and jump from mast to mast/slide down ropes that are conecting the ships. That would be a load of fun, but you know some moron is going to get scared and hide in the water so that no one could find him. Haveing the water kill you would be a good idea, since if you fall overboard on a real pirate ship, you die. There really are pirates now, but they don't wear eye patches, use swords, and say "Arrr!!". They are villians with sub machine guns, like your average CT Terrorists.

oh, really.

well trapt, we all trust the other monkey, the seventh_monkey. Not sure if he eats monkey show though.

I would tust ministeve here, and vassy.

umm, dolphins are not smarter than humans, lol.

only stupid animals don't have computers, and can't make choices for themselves.

Haz is right. You know, humans are the only creatures to have homosexuals.

well trapt is joining it

Floater, please pay attention to my previous post. I do not mean to be rude or anything. I just want to help.

If you want to learn about an entity of any sort, go to the HL entity guide under other on this site. Andy wrote out a full description of all the entites functions.

Your welcome. Its a good thing to take all your compiling errors there. if they aren't there, post your whole compile log here, as VOX said.