Pirate jokes Created 17 years ago2006-06-26 00:10:58 UTC by Soup Miner

Every one of these sucks miserably, feel free to laugh at the crapitude(or tell me how badly they suck, either one).

-Why did the pirate quit proffesional golf?
Because he couldn't hit the parrrrrrr.

-Why are the number of pirates in the world dropping at such a high rate?
Because they are all contacting Sarrrrrrrrrrs.

-Why did the pirate lose while playing cs on awp_map?
Because even with a scope the enemy was too farrrrrrrrr.

-I've heard rumors that Gordon Freeman will be replaced with a pirate in Half Life 3. Don't worry, he'll still use a crowbarrrrrrr.

-A pirated found his way into Dr. Kleiner's lab, but ran away as soon as he saw Lamarrrrrrrrrr.

-What does an elder pirate sew clothes with?
Yarrrrrrrn.

-Why wouldn't the cowardly pirate venture into the cave?
He was afraid of the darrrrrrrrrk.

-Why couldn't the pirate get to work on time?
He didn't have a carrrrrrrr.

-What do mutated pirates say instead of the typical pirate's word?
Blarrrrrrrrrgh

-Why was the pirate so pissed?
He couldnt unscrew the pickle jarrrrrrrr.

-What makes the world's richest pirate so famous?
He owns avast peice of land.

-Why did the pirate hire a gardener?
He was too lazy to clean his yarrrrrrd.

-Pirate dogs are harmless, but why is everyone afraid of them?
Their barrrrrrk is worse than their bite.

-Why is a pirate's vision so much better than everyone elses?
Because pirates are so good at using their ayes.

-What do fancy pirates call their midyear drink?
May tea.

-Why was the pirate tired every morning?
Because Starrrrrrbucks was too expensive.

-Why did everyone run away from the pirate?
Because he had to farrrrrrrrrrt.

-What do you call the captain of a communist pirate ship?
The Czarrrrrrrr.

hahah i liked the second to last one -_- i contributed to one of these jokes thought. I won't tell you which one though.

-Where does a pirate store his booty?
On the poop deck.

-whats a pirate's favourite element?
arrrgon (or arrrrsenic)

-what does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?
a Buccaneer

both from my friend pete who makes up lame jokes on the spot

y couldnt the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

it was rated aRRRRRRRRRRRR...

crickets

goodnight folks

Sheesh guys, why don't you just burn the remaining jars of funny that are left?

Pirate jokes really are among the worst in the world.

Arrr, not errr. And shut up, it sucks.

No no, Jimmi. You'd have to say Stridarrrrrrr, not Striderrrrrrrr. Its not like the pirate is retarded and is studdering going "errrrrrrrrr *drool*".

PS: Ant, go with the flow, go with the flow. Sucumb to the power of the pirate.....

Why does everyone hate Jimmi the pirate?
Because he sucks arrrrrrrrrrse.

SO!

A pirate walks in a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks 'Why the hell do you have a steering wheel down your pants?'

The pirate replies 'Yarr, it be drivin' me nuts!'

Why did the swedish police raid the pirate bay?
Because the MPAA told them to LOL.

* Discussion of illegally pirated software and warez of any sort on the forum is terms for immediate suspension of your account. Piracy does not belong in this forum, nor do we condone such activities.

haha

Selected pirate pickup lines:

Prepare to be boarded!

How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off my rudder?

Mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon!

Avast, me proud beauty! Want to know why my roger is so jolly?

Ever met a man with a real yardarm?

...and more!

Whoo, I have one, actually, from the formidable pwned.text.

<+Hugh> What do you call 100 sailors out at sea? 50 couples, LOL

Why did the pirate bye a hamburger?
-because he was hungry.

What do you call a pirate that does pirate things?
-a pirate

am i a pirate?
I do plunder boathouses in my area from time to time... and i use a boat, with my good friend Jesper the sea whore, im the captain. but i don't have a pirate captain hat

..Sorry about the "jokes"....

Wow those were good...

the decline of pirates are responsible for global warming you know.
google it

You're so obviously a nutcase Flying Speghetti Monster follower.

How...I didnt see this one on here so:

A pirate walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him. The bartender asks,

"Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"

The pirate answers, "Aargh! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Thats the best pirate joke around

It's pretty much the same joke Trap said some posts before...

It was mentioned before

Edit:
Wow time flyes so fast ;o

O.o oops didnt see that one, sorry

2 pirates are walking on the sidewalk. One walks into a bar... the onther one ducks.

that one sounds like a blonde joke to me

probably is.

Im trying to remember one myself...

Here's one.

A mother and baby get on a bus. The driver says "man that baby looks like a dog!" the mother is deeply hurt and takes a seat near the back. A man next to her asked why she was upset. She told him about the driver. He became engraged. "You should go yell at him!" The lady says "You're right I should!" The man goes "I'll wait here while you do that. Want me to hold your monkey for you?"

Wheres the pirate?

@tetsuo

maybe it was a blonde pirate

lawlilops

HAHAHAHA

Ant is right. There isn't a single good joke here, and the 'arrr' jokes, 'specially the ones in the first post are the 'Worst Jokes Ever'. I deem this a waste of time and u all should be castrated for your stupidity so your seeds cannot infect this planet.

And yes...I am an ass who isn't afraid to speak his mind. Now burn in hell lousy jokes!!

The reason were posting these "jokes" is because of their crappiness. thats what makes em funny .

Yeah lol the crappiness it what makes them funny. You say in your mind "OMFG that was so STUPID" as you chuckle about how clever the wording is.

No, I groan in my head as I watch the collective IQ of this place drop point by point.

And stay the hell out of my head...it's crowded enough in there as is...*mutters under breathe*no I will not kill Bush, stfu

At least nobody mentioned a "weapon_9mmARrrrrr !"
wait... I just did.

heres one i remember being told.

-Two pirate ships were crossing the ocean, one with a booty of red paint and one with a blue paint. What happened when the ships collided?

-They were marooned!

hmm, you need 2 red paint ships otherwise you would get purple

Exactly! Thats why it deserves to go into this hall of crappy pirate jokes. Because it makes no sense.

well purpled just doesnt make sense.... not with blue anyway. Brown maybe?

they got browned? That certainly wont make sense, its like saying they got shitted all over...