Pirate jokes Created 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:10:58 UTC by Soup Miner Soup Miner

Created 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:10:58 UTC by Soup Miner Soup Miner

Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:10:58 UTC Post #186924
Every one of these sucks miserably, feel free to laugh at the crapitude(or tell me how badly they suck, either one).

-Why did the pirate quit proffesional golf?
Because he couldn't hit the parrrrrrr.

-Why are the number of pirates in the world dropping at such a high rate?
Because they are all contacting Sarrrrrrrrrrs.

-Why did the pirate lose while playing cs on awp_map?
Because even with a scope the enemy was too farrrrrrrrr.

-I've heard rumors that Gordon Freeman will be replaced with a pirate in Half Life 3. Don't worry, he'll still use a crowbarrrrrrr.

-A pirated found his way into Dr. Kleiner's lab, but ran away as soon as he saw Lamarrrrrrrrrr.

-What does an elder pirate sew clothes with?
Yarrrrrrrn.

-Why wouldn't the cowardly pirate venture into the cave?
He was afraid of the darrrrrrrrrk.

-Why couldn't the pirate get to work on time?
He didn't have a carrrrrrrr.

-What do mutated pirates say instead of the typical pirate's word?
Blarrrrrrrrrgh

-Why was the pirate so pissed?
He couldnt unscrew the pickle jarrrrrrrr.

-What makes the world's richest pirate so famous?
He owns avast peice of land.

-Why did the pirate hire a gardener?
He was too lazy to clean his yarrrrrrd.

-Pirate dogs are harmless, but why is everyone afraid of them?
Their barrrrrrk is worse than their bite.

-Why is a pirate's vision so much better than everyone elses?
Because pirates are so good at using their ayes.

-What do fancy pirates call their midyear drink?
May tea.

-Why was the pirate tired every morning?
Because Starrrrrrbucks was too expensive.

-Why did everyone run away from the pirate?
Because he had to farrrrrrrrrrt.

-What do you call the captain of a communist pirate ship?
The Czarrrrrrrr.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:14:59 UTC Post #186926
hahah i liked the second to last one -_- i contributed to one of these jokes thought. I won't tell you which one though. :)
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:32:46 UTC Post #186929
-Where does a pirate store his booty?
On the poop deck.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 00:43:31 UTC Post #186931
-whats a pirate's favourite element?
arrrgon (or arrrrsenic)

-what does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?
a Buccaneer

both from my friend pete who makes up lame jokes on the spot
Penguinboy PenguinboyHaha, I died again!
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 01:06:41 UTC Post #186933
y couldnt the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

it was rated aRRRRRRRRRRRR...

crickets

goodnight folks
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 01:46:26 UTC Post #186934
Sheesh guys, why don't you just burn the remaining jars of funny that are left?
AJ AJGlorious Overlord
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 02:44:46 UTC Post #186940
Pirate jokes really are among the worst in the world.
Strider StriderTuned to a dead channel.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 02:50:27 UTC Post #186943
Arrr, not errr. And shut up, it sucks.
Strider StriderTuned to a dead channel.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 03:42:59 UTC Post #186946
No no, Jimmi. You'd have to say Stridarrrrrrr, not Striderrrrrrrr. Its not like the pirate is retarded and is studdering going "errrrrrrrrr *drool*".

PS: Ant, go with the flow, go with the flow. Sucumb to the power of the pirate.....
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 04:44:55 UTC Post #186954
  • Discussion of illegally pirated software and warez of any sort on the forum is terms for immediate suspension of your account. Piracy does not belong in this forum, nor do we condone such activities.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 05:09:37 UTC Post #186957
Why does everyone hate Jimmi the pirate?
Because he sucks arrrrrrrrrrse.

SO!

A pirate walks in a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks 'Why the hell do you have a steering wheel down your pants?'

The pirate replies 'Yarr, it be drivin' me nuts!'

:biggrin:
Trapt Traptlegend
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 05:40:57 UTC Post #186963
Why did the swedish police raid the pirate bay?
Because the MPAA told them to LOL.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 05:58:15 UTC Post #186966
* Discussion of illegally pirated software and warez of any sort on the forum is terms for immediate suspension of your account. Piracy does not belong in this forum, nor do we condone such activities.
haha

Selected pirate pickup lines:

Prepare to be boarded!

How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off my rudder?

Mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon!

Avast, me proud beauty! Want to know why my roger is so jolly?

Ever met a man with a real yardarm?

...and more!
RabidMonkey RabidMonkeymapmapmapfapmap
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 06:13:36 UTC Post #186967
Whoo, I have one, actually, from the formidable pwned.text.

<+Hugh> What do you call 100 sailors out at sea? 50 couples, LOL
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 22:34:24 UTC Post #187057
Why did the pirate bye a hamburger?
-because he was hungry.

What do you call a pirate that does pirate things?
-a pirate

am i a pirate?
I do plunder boathouses in my area from time to time... and i use a boat, with my good friend Jesper the sea whore, im the captain. but i don't have a pirate captain hat :(

..Sorry about the "jokes"....
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 23:00:00 UTC Post #187059
Wow those were good... :P
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-26 23:55:50 UTC Post #187065
the decline of pirates are responsible for global warming you know.
google it
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 01:53:44 UTC Post #187070
You're so obviously a nutcase Flying Speghetti Monster follower. :nuts: :P
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 10:03:31 UTC Post #187116
How...I didnt see this one on here so:

A pirate walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him. The bartender asks,

"Did you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"

The pirate answers, "Aargh! It's drivin' me nuts!"

:D Thats the best pirate joke around :D
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 10:24:33 UTC Post #187117
It's pretty much the same joke Trap said some posts before...
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 10:37:54 UTC Post #187118
It was mentioned before :)

Edit:
Wow time flyes so fast ;o
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 12:33:39 UTC Post #187141
O.o oops didnt see that one, sorry :(
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-27 13:41:09 UTC Post #187149
2 pirates are walking on the sidewalk. One walks into a bar... the onther one ducks. :D
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 11:32:05 UTC Post #187322
that one sounds like a blonde joke to me
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 13:23:32 UTC Post #187338
probably is.

Im trying to remember one myself...
38_98 38_98Lord
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 13:29:09 UTC Post #187340
Here's one.

A mother and baby get on a bus. The driver says "man that baby looks like a dog!" the mother is deeply hurt and takes a seat near the back. A man next to her asked why she was upset. She told him about the driver. He became engraged. "You should go yell at him!" The lady says "You're right I should!" The man goes "I'll wait here while you do that. Want me to hold your monkey for you?"
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 14:01:54 UTC Post #187342
Wheres the pirate?
Luke LukeLuke
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 14:55:46 UTC Post #187345
@tetsuo

maybe it was a blonde pirate

lawlilops :lol:
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 16:09:24 UTC Post #187348
HAHAHAHA :)
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 16:20:38 UTC Post #187351
Ant is right. There isn't a single good joke here, and the 'arrr' jokes, 'specially the ones in the first post are the 'Worst Jokes Ever'. I deem this a waste of time and u all should be castrated for your stupidity so your seeds cannot infect this planet.

And yes...I am an ass who isn't afraid to speak his mind. Now burn in hell lousy jokes!!
TawnosPrime TawnosPrimeI...AM...CANADIAN!
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 19:40:38 UTC Post #187380
The reason were posting these "jokes" is because of their crappiness. thats what makes em funny :biggrin: .
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 19:45:55 UTC Post #187383
Yeah lol the crappiness it what makes them funny. You say in your mind "OMFG that was so STUPID" as you chuckle about how clever the wording is.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 20:31:02 UTC Post #187386
No, I groan in my head as I watch the collective IQ of this place drop point by point.

And stay the hell out of my head...it's crowded enough in there as is...*mutters under breathe*no I will not kill Bush, stfu
TawnosPrime TawnosPrimeI...AM...CANADIAN!
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 20:34:34 UTC Post #187387
At least nobody mentioned a "weapon_9mmARrrrrr !" :roll:
wait... I just did.
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 21:41:24 UTC Post #187391
heres one i remember being told.

-Two pirate ships were crossing the ocean, one with a booty of red paint and one with a blue paint. What happened when the ships collided?

-They were marooned!
38_98 38_98Lord
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 21:43:23 UTC Post #187392
hmm, you need 2 red paint ships otherwise you would get purple
Penguinboy PenguinboyHaha, I died again!
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 21:46:00 UTC Post #187393
Exactly! Thats why it deserves to go into this hall of crappy pirate jokes. Because it makes no sense.
38_98 38_98Lord
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 21:52:19 UTC Post #187396
well purpled just doesnt make sense.... not with blue anyway. Brown maybe?
Tetsu0 Tetsu0Positive Chaos
Posted 18 years ago2006-06-28 21:57:42 UTC Post #187398
they got browned? That certainly wont make sense, its like saying they got shitted all over...
38_98 38_98Lord
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