Interactive Story Created 12 years ago2012-07-24 10:54:54 UTC by monster_urby

If I recall, the decision was to do this in full view of an APC... ANYWAY

Two blenders drop from the ceiling and slam into the ground, shattering the tiles as they land and blocking your path to the door. Well, not really blocking. They're just blenders.

You step over the blenders and push on one of the large doors, more brilliant, white light streaming into the room as it opens. Your vision clears and you step outside.

"Bugger it," mutters the wizard, frowning at the blenders, "Wrong spell."

---

You find yourself outside, breathing in the fresh air for the first time in what feels like four years... Looking ahead, you see nothing but green, rolling hills extending way into the distance. Eventually, they vanish into the dark treeline of a far off forest. Behind the forest, an enormous mountain thrusts into the sky, it's frosty peak piercing into the clouds. It's a long way off, but you can just about make out a [blank] about half way up.

(It's miles away, so think big)

crashed gay party blimp

Two blenders drop from the ceiling

YESSS!!!! Finally after suggesting blenders for 4 years they get mentioned! I can finally rest.

anthropomorphically actualised artichoke, at least twenty metres tall and seemingly terribly upset

God bless this thread.

Behind the forest, an enormous mountain thrusts into the sky, it's frosty peak piercing into the clouds. It's a long way off, but you can just about make out an anthropomorphically actualised artichoke, at least twenty metres tall and seemingly terribly upset, about half way up.

"Oh, it's Terrance" says Kevin, producing a tiny pocket watch from somewhere on his person... well, his kitten I guess, "That's convenient, he's my two o'clock. We'd better get over there quick."

"Wait, what?" you ask, gazing out over the landscape at the sentient, sobbing thisle, "That's miles away."

"Indeed it is," Kevin confirms, rolling a blade of grass between his teeny tiny paws. He raises it to his lips and blows, producing the deafening sound of a klaxon, "We'd better take Nigel to save time."

"Who is Nigel?" you ask. Suddenly, you become very much aware that the ground is rumbling. You notice something burst through the treeline in the distance, kicking up mud and dust and travelling straight for you at immense speed. It dips below the horizon, before appearing again coming over the hills. You can clearly see that it is actually a [blank]-propelled [blank]

(Have fun )

rocket-propelled robot that's a lot like the Iron Giant, but not nearly as friendly

petrol-propelled Jacuzzi

kangaroo propelled harvesting machine

You can clearly see that it is actually a rocket-propelled robot that's a lot like the Iron Giant, but not nearly as friendly. The double doors behind you swing open as the old bearded wizard floats out on his cloud.

"Freeze! How dare you walk away from a grand wizard when," he stops and squints his eyes, focusing on the incoming bot "What the devil is that?"

His answer comes when the robot closed the distance at astonishing speed, whizzing past you and Kevin in a dark grey blur and slamming into and subsequently obliterating the levitating old man. It smashes into the wall, passing right through and demolishing the wizards chamber inside. A few minutes later, its head peeks back out through the massive hole.

"Afternoon," he says.

"Hey Nige," mews Kevin, waving a tiny paw.

"You summoned me?" asked Nigel, wiping wizard blood off his eye lamps.

"Yup," said Kevin, "We need to get to Mount Priapism, ASAP"

"We?" he pondered, looking you up and down, "Is this thing yours?"

"Yeah," Kevin said, rolling his eyes, "I picked him up earlier."

"Hey, wait a second," you start.

"What the Hell is going on with his trousers?" Nigel pointed a massive mechanical finger towards your crotch."

"Skittles," Keven confirmed.

"Ah," Nigel knowingly nodded his enormous head. "Well, I'll give you a ride Kev, but your friend is either going to have to lose the Skittles or walk to the mountain himself."

"I'm one step ahead of you," said Kevin proudly. He turns to you. "You're going to have to [blank]"

walk in your underpants from here on.

go and put them back in the elevator where you found them, unless you wanna go to prison for grand theft.

Uh oh, Archie's projecting again.

play a Bee Gees song on my old tape deck. He wont tell you this, but Nigel will do anything for the Bee Gees, regardless of where you keep your Skittles