Journals
How incredibly coincidental that my hard drive dies at the same time my exams begin to start.. maybe I should do some revision for once... exams have already started. Grand.
HI
I had a very vivid dream last night. Well 2 actually. In my first dream I was having to go away on business for a month, to the other end of the country. The thing is, I had to leave my house in the early hours of the morning so my wife was fast asleep. I kissed her on the forehead and left my house, knowing I wouldn't see it again for some time. I felt genuinely emotional and was so relieved when I woke myself up at 4am. 
The second dream happened between then and when my alarm went off at 6:30am. I was in my house again, during a torrential downpour and there was a leak in the ceiling. I went upstairs to check it and the entire upper floor was sodden, the carpet cold and full of water. Same with the bed. The place was a mess.
I looked up both of these things online this morning. The first dream apparently symbolises that my life is changing, moving forwards. Not reluctance to do so, just an awareness that change is coming.
The second one tickled me a little:
"To see a leak in your dream symbolizes loss, disappointments, frustrations and distress. You are wasting your energy on fruitless endeavors."
Then I went to work.
The second dream happened between then and when my alarm went off at 6:30am. I was in my house again, during a torrential downpour and there was a leak in the ceiling. I went upstairs to check it and the entire upper floor was sodden, the carpet cold and full of water. Same with the bed. The place was a mess.
I looked up both of these things online this morning. The first dream apparently symbolises that my life is changing, moving forwards. Not reluctance to do so, just an awareness that change is coming.
The second one tickled me a little:
"To see a leak in your dream symbolizes loss, disappointments, frustrations and distress. You are wasting your energy on fruitless endeavors."
Then I went to work.
I got the Luke Skywalker FX lightsaber for Scott's 5th birthday.
LUCKY SEVENS!
All mine! Hahaha!
Just a quick thought. Counterstrike fy maps are sometimes some of the funnest to play maps and a nice break to the typical large defuse maps.
It just questions me how undetailed they usually are. The maps being so small could easily have tons of detail and offer a nice contrast to the otherwise dull undetailed maps. Here's a nice example, though I haven't test played it yet. http://www.gamebanana.com/cscz/maps/107977
Imagine what depth of detail and intricasy you could add to fy_iceworld/ etc.
It just questions me how undetailed they usually are. The maps being so small could easily have tons of detail and offer a nice contrast to the otherwise dull undetailed maps. Here's a nice example, though I haven't test played it yet. http://www.gamebanana.com/cscz/maps/107977
Imagine what depth of detail and intricasy you could add to fy_iceworld/ etc.
I don't sleep. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. I usually get 4 hours sleep a night during the weekend, 6 or less during the week.
We have a 3 day weekend this week thanks to May day (No idea what the actual occasion is but an extra day off is aces in my book). Anyway, I decided last night to get an early night. Got about 10 hours sleep in total. Then I woke up.
"GUARGH!!! WHAT THE F-"
I had the worst migraine I've ever had in my life. If you've ever experienced waking up with a headache, you know it sucks. However, take that pain, times it by 3 and add severe nausea. Whoo. Long story short, everything I put in, including painkillers, came flying back out at high speed.
Basically lost a day of my three day weekend while I slept it off. Woke up around 8pm in the end. So I managed to eat something, stayed up with the wife until she went to bed at midnight. It is now 4:30AM and I have been working on The Core since then. Not tired at all now having slept most of the day.
Just thought I'd share.
We have a 3 day weekend this week thanks to May day (No idea what the actual occasion is but an extra day off is aces in my book). Anyway, I decided last night to get an early night. Got about 10 hours sleep in total. Then I woke up.
"GUARGH!!! WHAT THE F-"
I had the worst migraine I've ever had in my life. If you've ever experienced waking up with a headache, you know it sucks. However, take that pain, times it by 3 and add severe nausea. Whoo. Long story short, everything I put in, including painkillers, came flying back out at high speed.
Basically lost a day of my three day weekend while I slept it off. Woke up around 8pm in the end. So I managed to eat something, stayed up with the wife until she went to bed at midnight. It is now 4:30AM and I have been working on The Core since then. Not tired at all now having slept most of the day.
Just thought I'd share.
The quickest way to lose your passion for something is to make a career out of it. That's my opinion anyway.
I used to mess around with HTML and CSS from time to time and I used to genuinely enjoy it. The thing is, that was the occasional 3 hour session at most. When it comes down to "You WILL do this between 9am and 5:30pm!" it is a totally different story.
I think that is why I wouldn't go into game design full time. I usually map for a couple of hours at a time and I enjoy it. If I was told to build levels for 9 hours straight, I would rapidly get fed up with the processes involved and the quality of the work would suffer. Job security is another issue of course. If I make a bad website I spend a few hours fixing it up. If you make a bad game, you stop making games.
Another factor about doing design as a hobby is that if you're not sure how to approach a problem or if you simply get tired of working on a project, you can have a break, maybe leave it for a day or 2 and come back to it. At work, I have the option to say "I don't know what to do with this" but all that happens is the site moves down the list 1 place and I am given ANOTHER site to work on. It's draining. In the end of course, you HAVE to come back to the project within a reasonable amount of time or the client gets pissed off.
urgh...
Sorry for the wall of text.
I used to mess around with HTML and CSS from time to time and I used to genuinely enjoy it. The thing is, that was the occasional 3 hour session at most. When it comes down to "You WILL do this between 9am and 5:30pm!" it is a totally different story.
I think that is why I wouldn't go into game design full time. I usually map for a couple of hours at a time and I enjoy it. If I was told to build levels for 9 hours straight, I would rapidly get fed up with the processes involved and the quality of the work would suffer. Job security is another issue of course. If I make a bad website I spend a few hours fixing it up. If you make a bad game, you stop making games.
Another factor about doing design as a hobby is that if you're not sure how to approach a problem or if you simply get tired of working on a project, you can have a break, maybe leave it for a day or 2 and come back to it. At work, I have the option to say "I don't know what to do with this" but all that happens is the site moves down the list 1 place and I am given ANOTHER site to work on. It's draining. In the end of course, you HAVE to come back to the project within a reasonable amount of time or the client gets pissed off.
urgh...
Sorry for the wall of text.
I'm getting a cat!
His name is Nahmbo, I'll be picking him up at the end of the month.
SQUEEEEE!!!...
SQUEEEEE!!!...
Today I had to make a little walk at night between a local and my home. I was alone, and a bit frightened as the road that lead to the main one passed through a bit of swamp-like vegetation(trees and such), so it was quite dark there. I saw bats and heard frogs...
When I got to the main road though I felt relieved. I have to say that I was outside all day in hot sun at 32C(unusual for this time period), and the night air felt comforting and very breathable... it was a calming sensation.
I noticed the beautiful, almost full moon shining with an intense halo on the almost clear sky. I always admire celestial objects, especially the moon. We have a very popular poet(the last great romantic of Europe), Mihai Eminescu, that says in one of his poems(I'm not good at translating poetry though):
(you can skip the poem if you like, it's anyway a bit tl;dr already for some, the conclusion is the last sentence actually...)
"Moon, lord of the seas, you slide on the world's arch(sky)
And giving life to thoughts, you darken the grief
Thousands of deserts sparkle under your light
And how many forests hide in shadow the shining of springs!
On how many waves your reign extends
When you float on the moving loneliness of the seas!
How many blossomed shores, what palaces and strongholds
Crossed by your charm you show them to yourself!
And in how many homes you entered gently through the windows
How many heads full of thought, thoughtful you observe!
You see a king that plans the globe for centuries
When at the next day a poor hardly thinks of
Though remarkable steps have been given to them from the urn of fate
They're ruled alike by your light and the genial of death
To the same path of passions are alike subjected slaves,
The weak and the powerful, the genius and the foolish [...]"
I am not really entitled to translate such a piece of art, I assure you the the poem is actually a masterpiece( it is studied at school). I feel sorry I can't display it in its original perfection.
It is useless to re-explain what I felt when watching it, the poem displays my thought exactly.
At a point, a few moments after I looked at the moon, I thought again about this calming effect of the night air, and looked around me. Ah, the grace of the subtle shadows being cast from the trees, the grass carpet of the fields that would tickle and massage my feet, the still rocks that inspire eternal patience, the pacifying sounds of the splashing waves... I thought as if I could rip my clothes off right there and integrate myself in the surrounding nature. I just felt like I wanted something more than simple admiration for the nature. It was a wonderful feeling of calm, of freedom, as if peace has finally settled around me and I could hardly give a damn about stressful problems of the future...
It was a feeling that disappeared once I started walking around people again. It is very hard to live that feeling again, it can only happen in special circumstances, like the ones that happened today.
I feel relaxed.
When I got to the main road though I felt relieved. I have to say that I was outside all day in hot sun at 32C(unusual for this time period), and the night air felt comforting and very breathable... it was a calming sensation.
I noticed the beautiful, almost full moon shining with an intense halo on the almost clear sky. I always admire celestial objects, especially the moon. We have a very popular poet(the last great romantic of Europe), Mihai Eminescu, that says in one of his poems(I'm not good at translating poetry though):
(you can skip the poem if you like, it's anyway a bit tl;dr already for some, the conclusion is the last sentence actually...)
"Moon, lord of the seas, you slide on the world's arch(sky)
And giving life to thoughts, you darken the grief
Thousands of deserts sparkle under your light
And how many forests hide in shadow the shining of springs!
On how many waves your reign extends
When you float on the moving loneliness of the seas!
How many blossomed shores, what palaces and strongholds
Crossed by your charm you show them to yourself!
And in how many homes you entered gently through the windows
How many heads full of thought, thoughtful you observe!
You see a king that plans the globe for centuries
When at the next day a poor hardly thinks of
Though remarkable steps have been given to them from the urn of fate
They're ruled alike by your light and the genial of death
To the same path of passions are alike subjected slaves,
The weak and the powerful, the genius and the foolish [...]"
I am not really entitled to translate such a piece of art, I assure you the the poem is actually a masterpiece( it is studied at school). I feel sorry I can't display it in its original perfection.
It is useless to re-explain what I felt when watching it, the poem displays my thought exactly.
At a point, a few moments after I looked at the moon, I thought again about this calming effect of the night air, and looked around me. Ah, the grace of the subtle shadows being cast from the trees, the grass carpet of the fields that would tickle and massage my feet, the still rocks that inspire eternal patience, the pacifying sounds of the splashing waves... I thought as if I could rip my clothes off right there and integrate myself in the surrounding nature. I just felt like I wanted something more than simple admiration for the nature. It was a wonderful feeling of calm, of freedom, as if peace has finally settled around me and I could hardly give a damn about stressful problems of the future...
It was a feeling that disappeared once I started walking around people again. It is very hard to live that feeling again, it can only happen in special circumstances, like the ones that happened today.
I feel relaxed.
First journal 
Today i played Half Life 2 Episode Two and damn i was more scared of this guy
then the other monsters
http://i.imgur.com/DRc9S.png
He looks kind of evil :<
btw first journal :FacePalm:
Today i played Half Life 2 Episode Two and damn i was more scared of this guy
then the other monsters
http://i.imgur.com/DRc9S.png
He looks kind of evil :<
btw first journal :FacePalm:
I just posted this on the BMS forum, but I think it's worth bringing up.
What is with the Gordon Freeman vs. Adrian Shephard debates. People who say they are a fan of Shephard's character and would like to see him return... what!? What fucking character? He's a mute protagonist, just like freeman. The only thing that differentiates the 2 in game is their gloves.
Ugh... people!
What is with the Gordon Freeman vs. Adrian Shephard debates. People who say they are a fan of Shephard's character and would like to see him return... what!? What fucking character? He's a mute protagonist, just like freeman. The only thing that differentiates the 2 in game is their gloves.
Ugh... people!
My first PHP page! I am so happy I succeeded in making a simple, but functional comment system using php and mysql :).
Here's the page
Leave a comment! (also, try telling me here too that you left a comment, somebody is playing with it...)
[EDIT] As my website uses the co.cc domain, some stupid antivirus software might tag it as a potentially dangerous website. Yeah sure, like some basic php code can do any harm. You can safely ignore your antivirus warning.
[EDIT2] Added time and date!
[EDIT3] Thank you Daubster for the <div style="clear: both;"></div> tip!
Here's the page
Leave a comment!
(also, try telling me here too that you left a comment, somebody is playing with it...)[EDIT] As my website uses the co.cc domain, some stupid antivirus software might tag it as a potentially dangerous website. Yeah sure, like some basic php code can do any harm. You can safely ignore your antivirus warning.
[EDIT2] Added time and date!
[EDIT3] Thank you Daubster for the <div style="clear: both;"></div> tip!
People were complaining about my last journal being too long, so I'll try to keep this concise and point driven.
So I played this black mesa themed French mod called Destination Black Mesa. You reprise your role as the orange & nerdy penguin monkeyboy known as Gordon Freeman. The G man has sent Gordon back into Black Mesa to find and extract a key science team member known as the Eli Vance. Recall that in vanilla, Eli is indistinguishable from other scientists so... you know, good luck trying to find him.
It took me about 10 tries to successfully complete the training level. You start in a room with about 10 of the 14 weapons while on-screen instructions in French tell you something I don't know. It looked like a typical target range room, so I was just waiting for the targets to start up, and then SUDDENLY POISON GAS FILLED THE ROOM, and A DOOR OPENED TO REVEAL TWO SOLDIERS SHOOTING at me. WTF KINDA TRAINING IS THIS!? I rushed past the two soldiers and then this hatch on the ceiling opened and this dumbass dropped a satchel on my face. Boom. Gordon's training comes to a swift conclusion. Now that he's a pile of gibs on the floor, he is ready to return to Black Mesa.
After a month's worth of stitches, Gordon is dropped by helicopter into the very same helipad from the "WE'VE GOT HOSTILES" chapter in vanilla. Speaking of which, this mod allows you to revisit a good number of areas that you've seen before. Sure to please the long-time games such as ourselves.
Anyway, not gonna bore you with my unrecorded gameplay footage. Here are two main points to know:
1. Early on, I went thru a duct to end up in front of the Silo D door (the very beginning of "WE'VE GOT HOSTILES", you know, where that one guy says FOR GODS SAKE OPEN THE SILO DOOR!) So I went and opened the Silo D door, and guess what? 5 Soldiers came out, and the game faded with Gordon being banged offscreen.
Turns out you are supposed to go in a completely different duct (very well hidden) in order to actually get thru the mod.
2. The ending. I'm not saying it's bad; it's a kinda cool cutscene of the G-man's interpersonal skills. However (spoiler) you never get to the Eli Vance. You go towards this elevator, get bonked, and that's all there is to it. Break a leg.
This mod may be a bit hard, so I wouldn't recommend it to players new to half life. If you are going to play it though, just don't be expecting a good ending (or any ending, for that matter.)
So I played this black mesa themed French mod called Destination Black Mesa. You reprise your role as the orange & nerdy penguin monkeyboy known as Gordon Freeman. The G man has sent Gordon back into Black Mesa to find and extract a key science team member known as the Eli Vance. Recall that in vanilla, Eli is indistinguishable from other scientists so... you know, good luck trying to find him.
It took me about 10 tries to successfully complete the training level. You start in a room with about 10 of the 14 weapons while on-screen instructions in French tell you something I don't know. It looked like a typical target range room, so I was just waiting for the targets to start up, and then SUDDENLY POISON GAS FILLED THE ROOM, and A DOOR OPENED TO REVEAL TWO SOLDIERS SHOOTING at me. WTF KINDA TRAINING IS THIS!? I rushed past the two soldiers and then this hatch on the ceiling opened and this dumbass dropped a satchel on my face. Boom. Gordon's training comes to a swift conclusion. Now that he's a pile of gibs on the floor, he is ready to return to Black Mesa.
After a month's worth of stitches, Gordon is dropped by helicopter into the very same helipad from the "WE'VE GOT HOSTILES" chapter in vanilla. Speaking of which, this mod allows you to revisit a good number of areas that you've seen before. Sure to please the long-time games such as ourselves.
Anyway, not gonna bore you with my unrecorded gameplay footage. Here are two main points to know:
1. Early on, I went thru a duct to end up in front of the Silo D door (the very beginning of "WE'VE GOT HOSTILES", you know, where that one guy says FOR GODS SAKE OPEN THE SILO DOOR!) So I went and opened the Silo D door, and guess what? 5 Soldiers came out, and the game faded with Gordon being banged offscreen.
Turns out you are supposed to go in a completely different duct (very well hidden) in order to actually get thru the mod.
2. The ending. I'm not saying it's bad; it's a kinda cool cutscene of the G-man's interpersonal skills. However (spoiler) you never get to the Eli Vance. You go towards this elevator, get bonked, and that's all there is to it. Break a leg.
This mod may be a bit hard, so I wouldn't recommend it to players new to half life. If you are going to play it though, just don't be expecting a good ending (or any ending, for that matter.)
Hi TWHL. I'm having a bath right now. Yeah. You're reading the insane typings of a nude guy. Like, totally nude. Modern technology at it's finest, eh?