Journals

I'm really surprised I remembered the password to this account. The last computer I used to log into TWHL was a family tower computer that came with a sparking brand new operating system called Windows 7. In the time I've started using the site I graduated high school, got my diploma, and gained and lost jobs.

Half-Life along with the first Unreal Tournament were not only the first first-person shooter games I ever played, but also the first ones I played that came with their own map editors. Being a preteen without a real creative outlet, I quickly went to task to learn how to make rooms and boxes.
Seeing how I wasn't out of elementary school at the time, I had no knowledge about concepts such as player flow, the importance of lighting, and basic optimization techniques. I was making square rooms and crates, but they were my square rooms and crates, and that made me happy.

I've been a lurker on this site for over a decade. I remember scrolling through the new Half-Life map vault submissions for new deathmatch maps to play with friends. I remember listening to a version of Bohemian Rhapsody with lyrics replaced by TWHL in-jokes. I remember following along with the developer updates of The Core, and I remember the first time I had ever tried to be a part of an online community. At the time, the tutorials and resources hosted on TWHL ranked very high on the search results when you Googled Goldsource tutorials. I visited the site enough to eventually break and create an account. Maybe I'd eventually upload some maps of my own now that I was actually starting to piece things together.

I was very shy on the internet back then. I didn't make an account to use the forms or make friends, so when I penned and published my first journal entry on this site, I was almost horrified that it was publicly posted. My anxiety was assuaged however when people were mostly supportive that I had shared that I knew how to make turrets work. I had accidentally made first landing with the community.

I continued messing with Half-Life, all the while posting on TWHL more journal updates about what I had been up to from making songs with default FL Studio plugin presets, to what MS-Paint quality game I was making with Game Maker 8. Eventually I had completed my first ever map. It was a basic house design made by someone who had just got the hang of how to create brushes, used the carve tool for everything, and didn't have any structured plan for the map and added rooms and objects as they went.

After uploading my map and receiving comments there were trying to be as diplomatic as possible to someone who'd just uploaded their first ever map of a collection of brushes that dares to call itself a house, I took a break from the site for one reason or another and didn't return for several months. When I got back, due to what I still can only assume was a practical joke played on me, Apartment had won a Map of the Month Award. Not only that, but it won by a staggering margin against maps that were made by people who weren't 14 years old. It beat out maps that actually had talented people crafting them instead of someone who made an octagonal brush and called it a table. And the reward for winning the award was that one of the site's mods had to create a review video of it. The task begrudgingly fell on Urby.
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Watching today, the video is hilarious. Allegedly, Urby had an undisclosed amount of alcohol in him as the camera was pointed at him to record his thoughts. I'd have made the same video were I in their shoes; it's a shit rough-brushed layout, and it got called out as such. Why was the outside plasterboard? Why was it in space? Why were the floors more than 64 units thick? Why was the windowless house 90% dead ends? Why did people vote for it for Map of the Month? Honestly, the video makes itself.

I was 14 at the time, however, and when I watched it then I didn't find it funny at all. I legitimately remember tearing up that someone was eviscerating not only the first map I ever made, but the first piece of content I had ever stepped out of my comfort zone shared online. It took me quite a while to get over it.

When I was 12 I went to a 3-week long sleepover camp. It was the first time I had ever spent an elongated amount of time away from my parents, and I dealt rather badly with it. I didn't like the food being served, I had a loose tooth that really hurt but didn't want to fall out, and I missed my parents dearly. I remember being in the office of the head of the camp, crying that I wanted to go home. It took me a while to get over it.

The point I'm making here is that the Apartment debacle was just one of the many important life lessons I would learn growing up. I actually point to this event helping me develop healthy attitudes when it comes to receiving criticism and feedback, especially if they come from people who know what they're taking about. Urby wasn't going to go on camera and lie about how my map was good for someone who was new to map making. It won the award, and it was going to be held to the standard that all other MotM winners were. I had to learn this lesson at some point if I wanted to participate in an online community, and in retrospect I'm glad I learned it here instead of somewhere else where it could've gone much, much worse.

So what I have done since then? Since then I almost became one of the best Lethal League 1 players in the world, peaking at #8 in tournament ELO in 2015. I learned how to map in the DOOM engine and after studying racing game design theory and I got my first ever map, Coastal Temple Zone, included in the release of the Sonic Robo Blast 2: Kart community cup, available in every vanilla installation of the game. I became the fastest speedrunner of Kirby and the Amazing Mirror for both Any% and 100% outside of Japan. But beyond that, I've been floundering from community to community, never really finding my place.

One of my personal issues when it comes to my hobbies is that I'm a serial starter. I hyper focus on a particular interest very hard for around 5 months, then move on to something else. The upside is that. The downside is that I end up disappearing for years without really a trace and end up decaying ties with friends I might have made - just ask the SRB2K discord about that. I tried returning to TWHL in 2015 or so, but it didn't stick, and I was soon off doing other things.

So what was the point of this journal? Well one thing, I guess this acts as my "Hey, hope you're doing well!" to all the nice people I met over the decade on this site, if they even read this far into this word salad that assuredly has many typos and grammar mistakes. While I haven't really done anything here in years, I'll always remember this place and am so happy it still exists (and by all accounts, is still active). I still sometimes boot up my copy of Jackhammer and start brushing out a Half-Life Deathmatch map that will never be finished. Maybe I'll finish one for old time sakes and upload it. I don't think I ever really redeemed myself. ;)
ThatGuy48788 years ago2015-11-27 20:30:30 UTC 7 comments
Something something something roman numerals.
Something something something clever way of saying it's my birthday.
Something something something I'm 19 now.

Goddamn I'm bad at this. `-`
I'm getting some tea.
ThatGuy48788 years ago2015-10-25 16:04:38 UTC 4 comments
I've been playing the first Half-Life for about 8 years now, and a large majority of that time was spent fragging friends on various deathmatch servers. Over time, my valve folder was slowing building up an arsenal of downloaded maps.

Recently I did a very long Twitch stream with my friend, and out challenge was to sit down and play a selection of maps that we’d remember from long ago and see if they still held up in any way. Our lot was 55 maps in total and we dedicated at least 5 minutes to each map, increasing it to 10 if we still wanted to check things out.

To our surprise, the maps that held up the most in our eyes were A) really shitty looking, and B) Had something hilariously fun about them that neither of us could describe. I mean, hell, our favourite map from the lot that night turned out to be a map by the name of 1337_Street, and it’s just a street with blocky as sin cars and buildings with rooms you could teleport into. And yet my friend and I had so much fun on this map during out session that it practically stole the night.
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Another example of a shitty map being a hell of a fun time to play is just a map that was simply called “small.bsp”: a house that’s as badly brushed at it was textured, and yet I had a hell of a time playing it.
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Now, contrast that with some of the other maps we played that night. Our folder wasn’t just filled with people’s apparent first map creations; we also had some other really nice looking, thought out maps with excellent design choices when it came to making the map look nice, but the odd thing was that a large majority of them (besides the Karnak, pictured below, which is a BEAUTIFUL map that we had to skip because it was just too big for it to be fun for two people) were surprisingly boring, and we ended it just thinking about how much fun it was to tripmine the fuck out of the kitchen in Small.
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So what’s the point I’m getting to here? That shitty maps are better than well textured and well thought out maps? That sinfully blocky brushwork is far more entertaining than maps with excellent use of brushes? No, not in the slightest. However, our best moments from the session happen on those really shitty maps.

This just reinforces my, perhaps spotty, ideology when it comes to making HLDM maps. I usually don’t really use custom texture wads outside out of the ones that come with half-life, nor do I really try super hard to make my maps look good. If I complete a map and playtest it and my friends and I never want to stop playing it, that is WAY better (in my mind at least) to map that looks exceptional, but does not really get to the top of the list of map suggestions before we start playing. I mean, we still play 2Partment as our first map in our sessions, and that just uses textures that everyone has seen 18 billion times by now.

Maybe I’m just a naïve mapper that needs to grow up from bad practices, but that’s just how I feel.
\_(`-` )_/
ThatGuy48788 years ago2015-10-20 01:59:50 UTC 11 comments
This is going to be a long post, so buckle in if you're in the mood for journal reading.

It's weird how nostalgia grows. I mean yeah, sure, I'm only 18 pressing 19, but I remember hanging out on this website for a long time being a lurker before finally joining this thing many years ago. I have an oddly nostalgic relationship with TWHL.

I came for the tutorials and for the entity glossary, which still provides me help and guidance to this day, and I stayed (albeit quietly, and for a short amount of time) for the community. It actually didn't really take me that long to know the regulars, if only because their online handles were memorable.

My last map uploaded was 7th January, 2013 - the last time I made a journal was 8th August, 2012 - and then I stopped playing Half-Life for a while. And with Half-Life stopped, my frequent visits here ended. To be completely honest, I really didn't think much of the years I was gone.

However, this is the present. If you're the kind of human who like to round numbers up, it's been nearly 3 years since I've seen the inviting Orange layout of this site. And holy shit, is it great to see it again.

I'm happy that TWHL still exists, and I want to high-five the people behind it all that keep this place going. And hey, while I'm here, I might as well post some maps I've cleaned up that are hideously brushed and textured maps that play surprisingly well.

Hopefully I'll stick around longer on this second wind. :D
ThatGuy487811 years ago2012-08-08 15:22:55 UTC 3 comments
So GoldenEye: Source got updated to version 4.2 a couple days ago, and I can not believe how far along they guys at Team Goldeneye: Source have come to get to the point where they are now. Is anyone else here playing this?
ThatGuy487812 years ago2012-04-09 18:42:09 UTC 8 comments
Well...Crap

I can't map anything at all since i made my last map. Like, I really wanna map somthing, but when I boot up Hammer all I seem to do is just stare at the viewpoints for half an hour and then get distracted by playing Twisted Metal Black on a PS2 emulator.

I don't need insperation, I already got halla of that, its just getting past the part where I texture 4 cubs and say screw this.

I need to do somthing more than make a map, I geuss. I think I'm going to do somthing better than that, like start modeling or, even better, learn how to make myself a mod (and probaly not finish it)

But I don't know...

P.S. I have a new song up:
http://soundcloud.com/geoffrey-mccullough/you-dont-even-know
ThatGuy487812 years ago2012-03-31 20:20:44 UTC 7 comments
I composed a song today. I don't think I've told anyone here that I love composing music, so now you know that. My latest song is Mind Control, and you can listen to it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzpbeesefZw

I think I'm going to post other songs I will make in the future up, because I've been kinda hiding all my music from the public.

Also, if anyone want some orignal music for a mod or somthing, I'd be happy to make somthing up.
ThatGuy487812 years ago2012-02-14 04:45:06 UTC 2 comments
So I have been away from looking at this site for a year, and I go to check up on what has happened. So im looking at my page an...HUMANA-WHA, Map Of The Month Award?!?! FOR APPARTMENT?!?! SIX VOTES!?!?!?!?!?!?!? O.O I even watch Urby's video regarding my pathetic plasterboard excuse for a map (way to make me fell like never mapping again Urby, btw) and i'm as confused as he is about why I won. Im going to map again, and I'm going to make sure that I break this disgrase of a map from my memory...after I get over Urby's halarious comments :D
ThatGuy487812 years ago2011-04-29 21:02:08 UTC 2 comments
So, because everyone seems to be busy programming games and telling the world about it, I would like to tell the world that I have been doing on-the-side programming for a game called SUANGFG (Super Ultra Awesome Ninja Gun Fighting Game). It is at the stage where I could release it as a flash game or something (because it is not all that impressive), but I just keep on adding things, plus the tournament mode glitches up. It does provide 20 minutes of fun, tho.

Here is a video of game-play (it is an outdated build, tho. The bot in this build is really stupid. I fixed him.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqYlizrgU8c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toJasFHIDnA (<<This is a trailer)
(Sorry about the sound, my screen recorder's sound capture function exploded)

E-Mail me or something if you want a copy, because I'm not planning to sell this for money.
ThatGuy487813 years ago2011-04-04 23:33:33 UTC 5 comments
You know that feeling, when you are working on something and you get bored of mapping/coding, but you know that when you done, the thing you make will be one of the best things you ever made? That feeling that what you are doing is boring and tedious, but it will be totally worth it? That driving force that compels you to hang in there, grit your teeth and persevere until every little thing is done right?

That feeling is one of the reasons I got into mapping (That and the fact that making maps is interesting). My point is, that this feeling is a great one, weather you hate it or not. I'm not sure about anyone else (I'm probably mad), but I experience this almost every big map I make, weather in Hammer or another mapping program for another game.

I am just putting this out there because I feel that this feeling should be noticed, and respected. I've given in to this feeling so many times, I have a folder full of maps that didn't even get past the 150 brush benchmark. Erfg.

Here's one to those that battle thought the tedious work to get'er'done and make something everyone will be talking about!
ThatGuy487813 years ago2011-03-23 21:58:58 UTC 11 comments
Finally mastered how to make turrets with hammer in goldsource, which will make by new maps that I'm working on a lot more interactive and interesting.

I finished my first actual map last night. Apartment. It was inspired by a map called 'small.bsp' I downloaded from the Ghetto (LT) server which was a bit larger than my map, but a little less interactivity. My apartment map has light switches, vents you can throw stuff down, and an outside (in space, so there is suffocation) I'll be uploading it shortly...