Goodbye. Created 18 years ago2006-01-06 20:26:42 UTC by Unbreakable

Fellow TWHLers,

How many people never change? Well, I never. And the reason I never was because I enjoyed life just the way it was, I did'nt care about anything but the stuff I really enjoyed. But even the best of us grow tired within, once we thought we have finally mastered the true secrets of making an unforgetable map. Perfectly textured, perfectly scaled, just perfect, and then its as almost as if it is not recognized to the world, yes, you'll recieve a few comments, but its never enough, you always strive for more.

So you become a creator. Your imagination flows wilder then ever as you load up Hammer, once again. You create something wonderful, the architect as you have known to be hidden deep inside you is released. The excitement as you click the upload button to show off once again what you think will become an unforgettable map. You get a five-star review, and yet another later that day, and another follows, but it has 100 views, and only 8 downloads. The dissatisfactory lingers. And you load up Hammer once more. Starring at the blank workspace.

5, 10, 15 minutes pass, and your still infront of your screen, you hit the 'X' in the top right corner, still dissatisfied.

You visit the forums. And notice a mod team looking for help. You apply. Without hesitation it seems, they greet you with open arms. And the fire starts up inside. You load up Hammer. Hours pass as you continue to work. First part is done, you marvel, and take screenshots to show the people you don't know. Your not expecting pointers from others, since you know you have a winner. The team reply's with excitement, each one taking mental notes. You go back to work... a few weeks pass, and compile times are long. You can't wait until the mod is completed, so you can show everyone what you have been apart of. And maybe then, you will be recongized from the greatest of great mappers around the globe.

But then you step back into reality, your flame goes out, as you look through all the other mods out there, you see hundreds. And wonder what the point is. I don't know if it's because I've recently turned 20 years of age and am now thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life. But I now realize that I won't accomplish it by sitting here. I want to create something that will be in tabloids and magazines from the north, to the south poles of the earth. Something that I can finally get recognized for. So, as you can see, my maps are all deleted. This is my goodbye.

(Hunter, my parts of Hostage Situation mod will be hosted. I'll contact you in a week or so.)

...
Fair enough...i'm only 16 so I still have a long way to go and your speech touched me actually. You realise that there will always be someone better than you at something, Rabid is by far an outstanding mapper which is why i'm aiming for his level of mapping...If I get there then I have gotten better and more people will like my maps...BUT then there will be someone like zombie_computer@hotmail.com who is better...How the hell can I beat a guy who was emailed by Valve for optimizing tips

But do I give up? no because I luckily have 3 more years before I have to seriously think about careers...3 years from now i'll be your age.

Ok so just because your moving on doesn't mean you can't visit! It's great to chat with you on msn matey and your maps for HL1 are really detailed! Seriously if I mapped for HL1 still you would be my idle.

Ok now that I coughed that out all I can say is goodbye, farewell, aufvedersehn goodbye! Farewell, goodnight we'll see you another daaaaaaayyyyy!

Bye ;D

But do I give up?

yes, you gave up on the compo..

I'm really happy for you unbreakable, and i know you'll manage great things. And hopefully, with your contribution, Hostage Situation wont just be anopther of those mods.

so sad...

hope you go onto bigger and better things Unbreakable. its been nice to have you around. maybe you'll visit sometimes? Irc perhaps?

but in anycase I wish you good luck and bid you farewell, with a great sadness in my heart

Well, can't say I disagree with you, to a most certain extent at least. But most people don't join TWHL to host maps. If you want downloads upload your maps to FPS Banana or a site like that. And out of the hundreds of mods the great ones still stand tall and proud. Work hard on Hostage Situation and it WILL be noticed, whether you think it will or not.
Anyway, goodbye, farewell, adios, and good luck in finding out what you will do for the rest of your life.

In a sad way, that made me feel utterly useless...but alas, farewell, enjoy your life, and do as much as you can with it.

Should have said this earlier but why would you delete your maps? Do you not want some form of legacy? or do you want to be completely forgotten?

HHmmm, don't know you! But have fun, you mysterious, mischevious devil.
(I would make up for you for quiting after no one liked your maps, but the fact that you are going to start a career, and that I have never made a map for HL, You deserve more respect. tutuloo!)

Don't worry. He'll come back. They all do. Even when they swear they won't.

This isn't about creating levels or mods. This is about expectations and motives, and what eventually is the force that moves the self within us. And you've just discovered the complexity of this drive.

The problem with being an individual in a world with a population of six billions is the feeling of inferiority that might appear at times. It might all seem very meaningless, since there isn't any set purpose, nor reason for a life. Nothing is as destructive as discovering that ones life seems pointless.

But that's something we've got to confront and handle. It's a matter of redefining one's expectations and understanding the possibilities and limits of oneself. We can't all be world champions in every aspect of life.

So, first off, handle your expectations. Lower them. It's obvious that you've got ambitions, and I don't doubt that you might have what it takes to fulfill them. Still, you can't take more than one step at a time.

Then, change your motives. When you write that you want to become a known worldwide for accomplishment or creation, it's a huge undertaking driven by a egosentric force in which you as a individual want to bring attention to yourself. You've got to remember that this can be done in many ways, maybe even ways that you weren't aware of yourself.

Just being a part of your community means a lot and feeds that egosentric drive. To be a friend doesn't take a lot of work or skill, but merely initiative and contact - and it will do the same for you as worldwide recognition.

To be a part of something and to primarly be on the transmitting end instead of the recieving end will be far more rewarding that any kind of world recognition. You should feel happy with yourself because of what you do for others - not what you do for yourself. The recognition you're looking for will materialize within yourself - thus look for it in yourself and not in others.

So you've got to ask yourself: What makes you happy?

• To maintain an interest at a level in which it meets your expectations.
• Being a part of a community or a social network; contact is a keyword.
• To be on the transmitting end and not the recieving.

Well, that's the outline of my theory, anyway. I haven't got the time or energy to actually explain the complexities of life. And what I've written above will of course vary a lot from person to person - it doesn't even fit me, but I try (let's be realistic, there's nothing such as perfect harmony, peace etc.). There are many variables to consider, and it's hard to get control of all of them, but there's something far more rewarding out there than worldwide recognition.

You should also check out Abraham Maslow. His theories on human needs might clear up some things for you when you try to go somewhere with your life.

Good luck with life. It all has a reason and purpose, but it's up to you to find both

Aww don't leave unbreakable

Good Luck with life.

hhmmm, I can see your name is thepreacher for a reason.

Follow your dream unbreakable! As ChickenFist said, good luck with life!

Live in peace Unbreakable. May you get a happy life.

Well, mapmaking is really useless if the only thing you care about is the results and popularity of your work. The important thing is to have fun in the process, discovering new places that only you have dreamed about.
I started mapping in 2001, and more than 3 years later I joined this site to share my maps with other people. I got no 5 star reviews during that time and it didnt really matter. It actually helped me decide what I wanted to do in the future.
I wish you good luck, and somehow I suspect you'll be clicking that Hammer.exe more than once in the future

I suggest that you Unbreakable, should you ever decide to map again, start making maps for none other than yourself.
You don't need the opinions of strangers when you know you've created a five-star map.

Anyway, you are always welcome here, should you ever change your mind. Good luck with your future endeavours!

Unbreakable,

Your vow of absense is obviously a sign of maturity in your developing personality. I respect someone who stands up and takes control of their life, even if it means getting rid of something that they hold dear to them. I'm sure, anyone who does an act like this has the intelligence and anitiative to make the most of himself.

I understand that your leave has nearly nothing to do with mapping in general, but with your future. Obviously, mapping has been taking up a lot of your time, and has distracted you from the things that really matter. Well, if so, then definatly quit. Personally I think of mapping as a little hobby. I have some fun doing it, and don't really care too much about what other people think. Notice how I've been here 2 years and haven't posted a map.

If mapping isn't a hobby for you, but a touch of personal expression, with hope of future development, then it would be best for you to leave and never look back. Well, look back and remember the endless hours you spent looking at a screen full of confusing lines and colors, trying to figure out where that bloody leak was... I'm sure you've learned some important lessons from mapping, whether it be art, or a more philosophical realization. Finishing a map also would help develop your sense of fulfilment. Personaly, I have troubles finishing anything I start. I hope this experience has helped you learn how to start something, plan, go through with it, and see it through to the end. Then, when thats all over, go back over it and repeat the step over and over til you have achieved perfection. You need this skill in life, to succede, and make the most of what you can do.

Yes, this all sounds a bit cliche, and I'm sure you've heard it all before, but I'm here to re-iterate an important message I hope you listen to.

Good luck with your life,
I'm sure you'll do fine,
BrattyLord

I am in the exact same situation as Unbreakable, its like he took that post out of my mind and wrote it for me. I feel for you, and I pity myself, soon the same wave of life will take me and I must embrace it, I am 19.

Literally everything you said in that post is the story of my mapping career in the last year or so.

It really did touch me to know that somone out there feels the same way I do.

I didnt know you, but I feel I am closer to you now then I ever could of been. Goodbye and good luck.

mapping should never be your ONE way for satisfaction - find that in the real world through jobs, life and relationships, that's why i look at mapping (Its like what Brattylord said) as a way to pass time, would you be totally upset if someone dissed your hobby?, is it the end?, NO because you find more in LIFE.

But yes you have your reasons to go so seeya! though i feel noone really ever says goodbye to the twhl community, it is more than mapping, as we know probably more about each other than actual mapping.

Well seeya and have a good life, And remeber to come back and say hi to us later ;).

Amidst the sea of very long and deep replies: good-bye if you do leave, and good luck. Probably see you again sometime. Adios, Mr. Verret.

Woah, insane.

What you really need is to get a position in a popular mod. That way you KNOW your work will be recognised.

Anywho, it's been nice knowing you. Goodbye.

Good bye, Unbreakable.

Meh sad that you leave. You could only have taken a break. And why to delete your maps? But if you want to do so, do it. And i wish you good luck
Good bye.

Sjeesh, you make me sad..

Anyway, bye bye.

Being generally unlucky in every aspect of my life means that I never expect to be recognised for anything I do. I am 19 years old and next week I start my first full-time job as an (get this) 'Administrator' (he he he)

The thing is I don't want publicity. The way I see things is the more people you know, the more shit that gets put around about you. Take a look at the modern day celebrity for instance. Thousands of people know them but don't actually know them. They are not all there friends. The rumours are catastrophic and they can barely hold themselves together let alone any decent relationship. I have only 5 really close friends and thats fine by me. They're all the greatest people I know. I love my girlfriend and I one day hope to start a family. If I can be appreciated by that small group of people (my friends and my family) I can die happy.

Mapping is my hobby, I don't care about getting good reviews, Hell, I barely care about what other people think of them. I also enjoy jogging but I don't want people telling me that I'm doing it wrong. I'll do it the way I bloody well like. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind constructive critisism (It makes my life easier when it comes to mapping). I love being able to sit down and craft my own world in a way. Its a real escape from the bordom of unemployed teenage life. But as I said earlier that is about to change.

Unbreakable - I guess I'm a different sort of person from you however I'm rarely around here since I finished college and I never got time to get to know you or appreciate your work. However I have read a fewof your posts and they all (including the recent insulting one directed at me, but with due cause) make you seem like a decent hard working guy.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck.

See you around

Cya man...

Whoa, I always thought you where like 14 or something Unbreakable.

Anyway, good luck with everything.

Should I call my func_breakables Unbreakable from now on?

Nah, no. Anyway, I think I can give some words about this as well. First, what I noticed was a sort of short-term vision from your post. Don't get that the wrong way, what I mean is that you expect instant fame after posting just another map in a sea of, well, maps.

As an example:
Recently, I've read things about starting game developers. The start is almost always hard and non-rewarding in terms of money (or popularity). The amateurs will drop off at that point and start something else because they think they probably didn't catch the 'right thing'. People with a more professional approach will invest why they don't make money. They'll try to fix the factors that hold people back from buying their game. They'll listen to feedback, improve their sites, fix bugs or sometimes do big changes to their game.
That takes time, a lot of it, and it may be painfull or boring, but in the end, often after several years, they're the ones that make money. Sometimes a lot of money. Where the amateurs have 5 failed projects behind their back, they have one successfull thing that they live off.

In other words, I think it'll take a different approach to achieve your goals. Considering your goals, like has been said above, might be good too now and then. Sort of self-reflection if you want to call it that.
Good luck.

:S

Look at Introversion. I bought half of their first released game (Uplink), and now look: a few years later, Darwinia's being publicised by VALVe themselves. Introversion consisted of about four people when they released their first game, as far as I know.

Introversion for teh win!

Uplink is teh pwn.

100 views, and only 8 downloads.

I totally know what you mean, and it can be quite discouraging, but consider:

If no one ever saw your maps ever, would you map? I know I would, because the act of creating something from your imagination, or from a place you've visited 1000 times, is an excellent thing.

It's like sketching or another hobby. It's nice when people give us compliments, but I don't think it's the reason we do it--At least why we start doing it.

Good luck and see you soon!--everyone returns to the blackhole that is TWHL

Well I truly didn't expect ya to leave, but I see, what ya mean..
Good luck, getting the fame you deserve..

Y'all come back now.

I'm not pretty sure but i think you are just .... just so good at heart-breaking ryhmes.Good Bye Unbreakeable.

Erm?

Bye Unbreakable!
You where an oldie! >_< And I never got to challenge you.
Could you give me your MSN before you go, please?

Edit: Ah,, it's in the profile!

Doesn't make much difference Madcow, his rarely on...

But he was a funny guy and he was one of the dudes who helped me with making my first map!

GBU unbreakable

wow, I wasn't expecting to get this large of a response. it took me a 20 mins just to read them all.

Thank-You everybody (the community)

I definetly will pop up everyonce and a while, here and IRC. And I have'nt given up anything. I still map. Right now, I'm working on remaking some parts of half-life. But only on my spare time.

Anyways, thanks for everyones support and different insights.

Oh and Tycell, its great to know I'm not the only one too.

Well, see ya guys around.

see you around