Journals
I have come to og Xbox homebrewing now. Want to make a HL2 TC for the console.
Believe me. It's super.
Believe me. It's super.
Yes I'll be retrying to build up the HappyFaces mod and see if it can be played online.
I'll be making new maps and ask for help like how to limit the map selection to just the mod's own maps and getting the stripped combine model to be animated. Oh, and if someone wants to help me with mapping for it then I can say what the mod's primary focus is.
Role playing, having conversations, normal deathmatches and to explore and interact. The maps are focused on being simple and to feel old-school because it is based on the 2006 build of Source. And only feature the textures from the original Half-Life 2 cause I don't have episode 1 or 2.
And I also wanted to let players change color as an option. And that's all for this journal.
I'll be making new maps and ask for help like how to limit the map selection to just the mod's own maps and getting the stripped combine model to be animated. Oh, and if someone wants to help me with mapping for it then I can say what the mod's primary focus is.
Role playing, having conversations, normal deathmatches and to explore and interact. The maps are focused on being simple and to feel old-school because it is based on the 2006 build of Source. And only feature the textures from the original Half-Life 2 cause I don't have episode 1 or 2.
And I also wanted to let players change color as an option. And that's all for this journal.
Funny how the mapping bug never leaves some of us. I'll be bothering some folks around here for info on this newfangled "Sledge" and see if it better then the tried and true Hammer! Also semi-transparent decals elude me.
From Indie, to Nintendo, to Oculus, it's been a journey. Being out in the wild since school has been exciting and I'm glad this place still exists. One of the best online communities in existence.
From Indie, to Nintendo, to Oculus, it's been a journey. Being out in the wild since school has been exciting and I'm glad this place still exists. One of the best online communities in existence.
They're all right you.
I almost forgot to post about it.
I have nothing new to report. My life - quite bland. The life of a developer quite hammers you hard into a single spot - I mean, it depends... I sort of have long term goals. I had some moods here and then. Probably I need more sleep. Have many ideas. So little time to implement. When I have time - procrastination takes place. I feel like I lack the enthusiasm I used to have. I feel grateful, although I'd like to feel even more gratitude, for the friends I have.
At the beginning of this year I had some big plans to implement some kind of self-organizing system and possibly use some software to achieve and measure my ideas turned into tasks, turned into projects. Turns out that's a big project also. Or are these just surface motives cloaking the fact that I'm not ready to sacrifice my time for that? Who knows! It's hard to know yourself
I'm taking guitar lessons. I'm trying to build a weather station. I'm trying to find a relationship. Turns out I'm too shy and hammered in my patterns to do that. I need massive amounts of courage to get out of the comfort zone.
As I watch other people, I wonder if they put in a lot of effort to get where they are, to have the relationships they have, or it was just chance and they were just riding the waves of destiny?
It's hard to build a life.
Is it worth it?
I hope this doesn't sound depressing or anything. Just some thoughts of mine.
I almost forgot to post about it.
I have nothing new to report. My life - quite bland. The life of a developer quite hammers you hard into a single spot - I mean, it depends... I sort of have long term goals. I had some moods here and then. Probably I need more sleep. Have many ideas. So little time to implement. When I have time - procrastination takes place. I feel like I lack the enthusiasm I used to have. I feel grateful, although I'd like to feel even more gratitude, for the friends I have.
At the beginning of this year I had some big plans to implement some kind of self-organizing system and possibly use some software to achieve and measure my ideas turned into tasks, turned into projects. Turns out that's a big project also. Or are these just surface motives cloaking the fact that I'm not ready to sacrifice my time for that? Who knows! It's hard to know yourself
I'm taking guitar lessons. I'm trying to build a weather station. I'm trying to find a relationship. Turns out I'm too shy and hammered in my patterns to do that. I need massive amounts of courage to get out of the comfort zone.
As I watch other people, I wonder if they put in a lot of effort to get where they are, to have the relationships they have, or it was just chance and they were just riding the waves of destiny?
It's hard to build a life.
Is it worth it?
I hope this doesn't sound depressing or anything. Just some thoughts of mine.
So I had a train of thought the other day, while playing Borderlands 2, a bit out of the blue, which I kinda wanna write down and since I wouldn't know where else, I'll just do it here.
Basically what I thought was - Half-Life 2 plus episodes isn't really big on optional objectives or the likes. In fact, no Valve game I've played is. Side quests aren't really a thing (Lambda caches don't count) and being very linear is pretty much a staple of the whole series. And I wondered what it'd be like to try and build some optional stuff into maps... like, go make this boom, if you're willing to take a detour, you can make it easier, I dunno, blow up Combine machinery and if you take a detour first to take out their radio relay comm thingy, it'll be easier because they won't send reinforcements. Stuff like that. Or, for instance, if along the way in Nova Prospekt, you had the opportunity to liberate incarcerated rebels and vorts, who would subsequently serve as allies during combat situations. Etc etc.
Now that's all kinda heavily influenced by my current playing through Metal Gear Solid V, where I usually, before sneaking into an outpost, start by planting explosives around their comms, power supplies, anti air guns etc, but also some through Borderlands 2 - if you bother with the sidequest of getting the power back online at station whatsitcalled, it'll unlock the shops, garage and spawn point there. Etc. I figured stuff like that would be pretty cool in Half-Life 2. Or (didn't think about that as much) Black Mesa. Fulfill objective X in area controlled by grunts, if you turn on the power for the conveyor system, you'll get supplies from the conveyor belts. Or take some time for secondary objective this and that to turn off the AC so you can sneak through the then-unlocked vents. Etc etc.
So yeah. Bit of an odd rant here... just had to write this down to revisit once I'll have time and energy to maybe try and make use of that, at some point in the distant future... do with that as you will, I'd love to hear some thoughts from yall maybe
Basically what I thought was - Half-Life 2 plus episodes isn't really big on optional objectives or the likes. In fact, no Valve game I've played is. Side quests aren't really a thing (Lambda caches don't count) and being very linear is pretty much a staple of the whole series. And I wondered what it'd be like to try and build some optional stuff into maps... like, go make this boom, if you're willing to take a detour, you can make it easier, I dunno, blow up Combine machinery and if you take a detour first to take out their radio relay comm thingy, it'll be easier because they won't send reinforcements. Stuff like that. Or, for instance, if along the way in Nova Prospekt, you had the opportunity to liberate incarcerated rebels and vorts, who would subsequently serve as allies during combat situations. Etc etc.
Now that's all kinda heavily influenced by my current playing through Metal Gear Solid V, where I usually, before sneaking into an outpost, start by planting explosives around their comms, power supplies, anti air guns etc, but also some through Borderlands 2 - if you bother with the sidequest of getting the power back online at station whatsitcalled, it'll unlock the shops, garage and spawn point there. Etc. I figured stuff like that would be pretty cool in Half-Life 2. Or (didn't think about that as much) Black Mesa. Fulfill objective X in area controlled by grunts, if you turn on the power for the conveyor system, you'll get supplies from the conveyor belts. Or take some time for secondary objective this and that to turn off the AC so you can sneak through the then-unlocked vents. Etc etc.
So yeah. Bit of an odd rant here... just had to write this down to revisit once I'll have time and energy to maybe try and make use of that, at some point in the distant future... do with that as you will, I'd love to hear some thoughts from yall maybe
So my wife may need to have another scary brain surgery. Honestly I’m rather freaked about things. This is what she had written on Facebook because it best describes what’s going on.
Hi Friends.Thanks.
I’d like to tell you all where I’ve been and why.
(May be a bit long, so the short version:
I’m having a cranial angiogram tomorrow at Tampa General to see what this neurological anomaly is (vascular brain stuff))
This is why I haven’t been out and about much.
Cute animal pics, love, light, etc are all welcome. This is gonna be hard ☹️
Long version:
Last year I started having some odd neurological occurrences. So we got with a neurologist and he ordered the MRI and MRA done.
We got the results in November, that there was some stuff going on vascularly in the same area that I had the AVM removed from back in 2010.
They could not definitively say what it is, hence just calling it the “anomaly”.
I was instructed to go back to Tampa General where I had the 2010 surgeries and talk to them. My surgeon from 2010 has moved to Colorado, so I was assigned to a new dr (a process that took from November to February to get an appt. specialists 🙄)
Anyway, met my new dr, who’s very nice and whom I trust.
So all this time we’ve been just sort of waiting for this test to figure out what’s even going on. (6 months)
We finally got the call on Friday of last week to schedule this procedure for Wednesday.
The angio itself should only take about an hour to an hour and a half, then about a 4 hour recovery, then I should be able to come back home.
Ben/my mom/Dave will have my phone etc.
There’s more, but it’s more about my feelings concerning all this and grief stuff
(My dads passed 3 years ago Thursday)
So I’ve tried to keep this as straightforward as possible.
We chose to not really talk about this or tell anyone until now because, well, what’s to tell?
There’s a thing in my brain, we don’t know what that thing is, come worry with us! Yeah no.. that just seemed, idk. Not productive.
I love you all, and I will have Ben update anyone who wishes tomorrow.
~L
Rodless Reel - Kickstarter
After over three years of developing this tiny fishing reel, i'm finally ready to release it. Check it out on Kickstarter and let me know what you guys think.
Ships worldwide for free.
Mapping for half life is what introduced me to 3D modeling at an early age and influenced me into studying architecture. In doing so, I was exposed to the world of design. I am now a CAD Drafter and in my free time I 3D model and prototype ideas.
Thanks for your support guys and gals!
After over three years of developing this tiny fishing reel, i'm finally ready to release it. Check it out on Kickstarter and let me know what you guys think.
Ships worldwide for free.
Mapping for half life is what introduced me to 3D modeling at an early age and influenced me into studying architecture. In doing so, I was exposed to the world of design. I am now a CAD Drafter and in my free time I 3D model and prototype ideas.
Thanks for your support guys and gals!
If you remember this and you wanna know what happened between me and him:
link
...you can read about the end here, if you wish.
So, yeah. It's over.
It's all... done. I'm not sad, and I definitely appreciate the freedom now. I do miss him, though.
All of you who were worried of it being a predator scenario, you may sleep peacefully now. But it wasn't such a scenario anyway.
Brad and I played TF2 and GMod a couple of times. I remember he often asked me for technical help, and a little bit too often, I might add. But he was a good guy. He badly wanted me to get the new PC that I got in July 2018, but something happened before I did...
In June, he... he simply disappeared. He completely disappeared from the Internet, deleting most of his accounts and leaving no contact info for me. Blimey. :/
So yeah. But that was not the only relationship in my life.
There was a girl from Texas, who was kinda nice until she started being overly horny and begging me for nudes (eww). Plus, she always looked for excuses to avoid voice chatting with me and I never saw a picture of her. Could be a catfish. And she wasn't the only catfish there.
There was a cute girl from Taiwan once, but that's a WHOLE other story which involves a dumb Bosnian dude from Slovenia hating me so much after finding out that I'm bi.
Then I've had like... 4 more relationships. Two before that, and two after that. The peak was about 3 or 4 relationships at once.
Almost all of these are pretty much done.
The point is, it taught me a damn valuable lesson. Say NO for once.
It taught me another one too, but that's something I realised after reading Voltaire's Candide. It is the fact that "we must cultivate our own gardens".
5 out of 7 of these relationships started like this: "Admer, I love you" - "I love you too!" - "Will you be my BF?" - "HELL YES!!!"
It's just like Candide. He was given all sorts of goods throughout the story, like when he visited Eldorado. But of course, there were really bad situations too, like when the entire Prussian army started beating his butt up, one by one. The thing is, he never did any actual work. He was just going around the world looking for his beloved Cunegonde, and he just got lucky and unlucky at times. In the end, he settled for a piece of land, and he and his friends started actually working on that land, and everyone was happy. (I should read even more books)
And notice something. It's always the other person saying "I love you" first. Meh. I wanna conquer some land myself (it feels more rewarding!), not have it simply given to me so that I can easily lose it later on.
Also, seriously. God. Back then, I didn't know how to say no. It was probably because I was desperate and/or I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Now I am not so afraid.
But yeah. I'm actually happy. Very very happy, partly due to the freedom I have now, and the fact that I don't have to lose so much time during the day to just chat (fact is, they were all from different time zones, so each would message me in different times of day - and that led to many hours being lost on Discord). All these breakups did not affect me at all, in fact I could say they made me a bit stronger.
I'll just not bother with relationships until I'm 25 or so. I'm just not ready yet. Especially for a real-life relationship.
You don't have to say a thing, as far as I'm concerned. I already know. I'm too young, I'm too childish, I have too high expectations... I mostly know...
And what was the point of this journal? It was just to make some things clear, and put an official end to my journals about furries and journals about my relationships.
link
...you can read about the end here, if you wish.
So, yeah. It's over.
It's all... done. I'm not sad, and I definitely appreciate the freedom now. I do miss him, though.
All of you who were worried of it being a predator scenario, you may sleep peacefully now. But it wasn't such a scenario anyway.
Brad and I played TF2 and GMod a couple of times. I remember he often asked me for technical help, and a little bit too often, I might add. But he was a good guy. He badly wanted me to get the new PC that I got in July 2018, but something happened before I did...
In June, he... he simply disappeared. He completely disappeared from the Internet, deleting most of his accounts and leaving no contact info for me. Blimey. :/
So yeah. But that was not the only relationship in my life.
There was a girl from Texas, who was kinda nice until she started being overly horny and begging me for nudes (eww). Plus, she always looked for excuses to avoid voice chatting with me and I never saw a picture of her. Could be a catfish. And she wasn't the only catfish there.
There was a cute girl from Taiwan once, but that's a WHOLE other story which involves a dumb Bosnian dude from Slovenia hating me so much after finding out that I'm bi.
Then I've had like... 4 more relationships. Two before that, and two after that. The peak was about 3 or 4 relationships at once.
Almost all of these are pretty much done.
The point is, it taught me a damn valuable lesson. Say NO for once.
It taught me another one too, but that's something I realised after reading Voltaire's Candide. It is the fact that "we must cultivate our own gardens".
5 out of 7 of these relationships started like this: "Admer, I love you" - "I love you too!" - "Will you be my BF?" - "HELL YES!!!"
It's just like Candide. He was given all sorts of goods throughout the story, like when he visited Eldorado. But of course, there were really bad situations too, like when the entire Prussian army started beating his butt up, one by one. The thing is, he never did any actual work. He was just going around the world looking for his beloved Cunegonde, and he just got lucky and unlucky at times. In the end, he settled for a piece of land, and he and his friends started actually working on that land, and everyone was happy. (I should read even more books)
And notice something. It's always the other person saying "I love you" first. Meh. I wanna conquer some land myself (it feels more rewarding!), not have it simply given to me so that I can easily lose it later on.
Also, seriously. God. Back then, I didn't know how to say no. It was probably because I was desperate and/or I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Now I am not so afraid.
But yeah. I'm actually happy. Very very happy, partly due to the freedom I have now, and the fact that I don't have to lose so much time during the day to just chat (fact is, they were all from different time zones, so each would message me in different times of day - and that led to many hours being lost on Discord). All these breakups did not affect me at all, in fact I could say they made me a bit stronger.
I'll just not bother with relationships until I'm 25 or so. I'm just not ready yet. Especially for a real-life relationship.
You don't have to say a thing, as far as I'm concerned. I already know. I'm too young, I'm too childish, I have too high expectations... I mostly know...
And what was the point of this journal? It was just to make some things clear, and put an official end to my journals about furries and journals about my relationships.
Well, it's all about to say that this profile KrystevPlayz is me again. AK47NATOR and Krystev are just me.
I re-modeled the geometry from hammer in rhino and 3D printed a model of the house from my map.
It would be really cool to build some day.
3D Print House - 1
3D Print House - 2
3D Print House - 3The small holes in the grass part are for fake trees. 
It would be really cool to build some day.
3D Print House - 13D Print House - 23D Print House - 3It's been a theme for me to be a horrible friend. Since the beginning of my DeviantArt life I've just gotten people down and it would also be true in real life. In my very first account in DevArt I have mistakenly told my first best friend that she was dead. In my second account (EX475) I couldn't get one friend to not leave the site. I mistakenly trolled someone by free will in the Pfhorums and mistakenly did it again currently. And now I have told my best friend SweetMangle103 that we couldn't be friends anymore cause I where always ruining her.
I haven't forgotten my outbursts here either. I am sorry for everything. I apologize to everyone that I have ever hurt and everyone that depended on me. I am too weak to go around and say this to everyone and it would probably not make it better either. Cause every word I spit is a hazard.
I haven't forgotten my outbursts here either. I am sorry for everything. I apologize to everyone that I have ever hurt and everyone that depended on me. I am too weak to go around and say this to everyone and it would probably not make it better either. Cause every word I spit is a hazard.
When I go on a dating site I see 32 year old girls and think, "32? Way too old for you, dude". Then my brain follows up with "You idiot, you'll be 31 in a few months".
As of right now I am 31 and I don't know what to do.
Maybe it's good because it's a prime number?
As of right now I am 31 and I don't know what to do.
Maybe it's good because it's a prime number?
0x0017
0x0002
0x07E3
Very simple, and it'll always be.
I've been thinking if I should send a .map file or a .jpg with this inside, but whatever.
0x0002
0x07E3
Very simple, and it'll always be.
I've been thinking if I should send a .map file or a .jpg with this inside, but whatever.
I make sketchbooks. Some of them look aged which is quite fun. Been learning the craft for a few years now. ^_^
I do plan to sell them soon.