Ha ha thats a good one :/
"Anyone who hates kids and dogs can't be all bad."
W.C. Fields
"Not my brain! It's my second favorite organ!"
Woody Allen
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific."
Lily Tomlin
"I'm very worried that the person who thought up muzak is thinking up something else."
Lily Tomlin
"It's my little imperfections that endear me to people."
Gilda De Ferrari
"Some people are trapped by their dinnerware and need to find ways to make it new and exciting."
Elizabeth Wood
"Give a man a fish and you feed his family for a day. Teach a man how to catch a fish and ... well ... you have a guy you can sell a baseball hat to."
Yoshi the Pig
"I used to be with 'it'. But then they changed what 'it' was. Now what I'm with isn't 'it', and what's 'it' seems scary and weird. It'll happen to YOU!"
Abe Simpson
"...and I have turned my pals
___ and
___ [a married couple] on to your website. They think you are brilliant and feel badly that you are heterosexual."
my friend James
"The women would all hate me, and the men would just make nuisances of themselves."
my mother, a very beautiful woman, upon being asked why she didn't wear make-up or fix her hair.
"I was in Mensa for about a year. But I stopped paying the dues and they revoked 10 points of my IQ."
Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert and Author of God's Debris)
"The box said that I needed to have Windows 98 or better... so I installed Linux."
"CARUS M. (221556)"
<221556@swansea.ac.uk> "Sows are famous for the way they may at one moment maul you to protect an offspring and at the next maul that offspring to beat it to a kernel of corn."
Richard P Horwitz, in his book Hog Ties
"What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?"
Seen on one of Chris Romaine's t-shirts
"If I have two cups of coffee I can thread the needle while the sewing machine's running."
Sam Blackburn
"I want to wear a nametag that says, 'Hello. My name is Richard. I seem to have forgotten yours.'"
Richard Withers, who forgets as much as I do
"If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put all men on the moon?"
I think this was in a greeting card. I'm not sure. Anybody know who said it?
"Do I look like a people person?"
"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
included in an anonymous list of quotes sent me via email
"I'd eat what the pig was eating."
Response to the question of what you (a veg*n) would do if stranded on a desert island with only a pig (implied - to eat.) This is another one I can't track down. Any leads are appreciated!
"The only thing worse than having a board of directors is having your own sound system"
Dave Hosmer, who has steadfastly volunteered as the sound man at our pittsburgh community dances for as long as I can remember
"...All of which has led McConnell to speculate whimsically: "Why should we waste all the knowledge a distinguished professor has accumulated simply because he's reached retirement age?" Instead, [Michigan psychologist James] McConnell proposes, the students should eat the professor."
William Hedgepeth, in his book, The Hog Book
"Put the small child in the cot with the apple and the rabbit. If the child eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a car."
Harvey Diamond
"We are the living graves of murdered beasts"
From Living Graves by George Bernard Shaw
My favourite quotes