Journals
I just got my son Overwatch, and to my surprise, he picked it up right away, and he's mopping the floor with my dead body in no time.
My comment to Captain P's last journal entry, back in 2007.
I know this is ten years late, but I am sorry about your loss.
You may not remember me, but I sure remember you. You were one of my first mapping mentors, patiently going over my level designs and giving me constructive criticisms.
As one life ends, another begins. It was right around the time your mother died when my son was born. Now that he's almost 11 years old.
Anyways, I hope you can come back and visit us sometimes.
I know this is ten years late, but I am sorry about your loss.
You may not remember me, but I sure remember you. You were one of my first mapping mentors, patiently going over my level designs and giving me constructive criticisms.
As one life ends, another begins. It was right around the time your mother died when my son was born. Now that he's almost 11 years old.
Anyways, I hope you can come back and visit us sometimes.
I'm fairly disappointed. (as always, short content for TL;DR'ers at the end)
In 2013, I told my parents how I decided that I needed to build a new PC. They advised me to have a laptop instead because I can take it anywhere I go. I agreed and we bought a 2012 Fujitsu A512, which is now my brother's laptop.
In 2014, my old PC died (the one with the Ati Radeon HD 4650). It was a bad day for me when I returned home. We got the Fujitsu S7210 after exchanging hardware with a local Internet café owner. I gave it to my brother as a punishment.
In 2015, when I was in 7th grade, my parents promised me a new PC if my GPA is 4.75 or higher. I studied and basically improved in grades a lot compared to 6th grade. My parents were amazed. No new PC, still. I had an R7 250 + AMD A4-6300 machine in mind with 4 GB of DDR3 RAM - something I considered "high end" because it was sooo superior to the laptop I already had (still on the A512 until July).
In the first half of 2016 (8th grade), my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA was just as good as the one last year. It was even better, actually. 4.85
But still, no new PC! Then I had an Nvidia GT 730 in mind, then the RX 460 as the year was ending.
In 9th grade, they promised me (and swore to God, which is a HUGE deal here) that they would buy the new parts if my GPA was 5 point FREAKING 0. I was surprised and a bit overwhelmed at first, but as soon as the second semester came in, things were easy as cake and I knew I'll have that sweet, perfect GPA of 5.0. And I did. My mum cried when she saw the grades report and nothing but 5's (A's) on it. "General success - excellent (average 5.0)"
I was even part of the "School's Pride" group of students.
Guess what. Nothing happened. However, I did collect about 70% of the budget for the PC, even after my parents "borrowed" half of my money that year.
In my 1st year of high school and first semester, my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA is at least 4.5 (which is the lower limit for the "excellent" status).
And I did. I even did a bit better, with a GPA of 4.57. I mean, it's high school, of course they were expecting me to drop in grades like this.
And then, I had about 90% of the budget and I decided to buy whatever percentage of the parts I can, but then... they borrowed yet another 200 KM from me.
4 promises. 4 big promises. 2 of which had relatively extreme conditions.
All broken.
And then my aunt came to a visit and mentioned me that I'll get a PC for free which she bought in 2012 for 2000 KM (1000€). I was super excited, thinking it would have a GTX 660 and an Intel Core i5 4th gen CPU.
But, instead it was an HP Compaq dc7600C Convertible Minitower equipped with a Pentium 4 640, Ati Radeon X1050/600/300 (one of those), 512MB RAM and a whopping 80GB Western Digital hard drive. It also has 2 DVD drives and a floppy drive.
Turns out someone posted the article on Pik (take it as a Bosnian eBay) back in the day and wrote the original price from the time the PC was manufactured (2005).
I seriously need to do something as I keep getting more excited and excited every time they mention the new PC, and then I get disappointed because it never happens. I'm convinced it's my own fault because I hardly ever speak to my parents about the PC, because I believe I'd annoy them that way. Oh boy, that needs to change.
Also, don't post "Get a job" because it's not going to help. I collect and save money over the years, and for all these 5 years of waiting and getting money for my new PC, my parents just "borrowed" (more like took) most of it.
At the moment, I have a bit more than 700 KM, which should be enough for the CPU and the GPU, though I'd rather wait and buy the GPU much later, since there was a jump in prices recently. I guess I could get the processor for 360 KM, the PSU for 60-80, the motherboard for 230 KM I believe, and let my parents "borrow" the rest of the money there's left.
Of course, I know that my parents will pay their little debt off someday. I can understand their situation right now. They have their own needs and problems. I'm not mad or anything, but I consider this a bit unfair.
Though, at they don't owe me nearly as much as they used to.
I mean, it's just 300 KM, I'm sure they will return it someday. I just don't like this concept of an "ATM machine son" which I'm currently being treated as. I'm wondering if I should just stop letting them borrow money from me because when they do, it's quite literally always at the worst possible moment.
sigh
My Nazi classmate was right. I should've taken most of the PC right when I collected 90% of the budget, and then collect some more and buy the remaining part or two... I had a chance, but I missed it just because my parents asked me "Isn't it too early to get one, though?"
And then my dad believes it's not worth spending money on new computer cases. He surely knows about computer hardware, but nothing past 2007, LOL. He believes there's also no need to get a PSU since it already comes with the case. Pfft. Be glad I'm not applying interest rates for your credit.
Oh well, I guess I should be more of a rebel next time I have the chance. My passiveness ruined a lot of chances I had before. Only now it started to hurt.
Worst of all, my parents just keep asking me "Why not a laptop instead of a desktop computer?" BECAUSE A LAPTOP WITH THE SAME SPECS WILL COST 2.5X MORE THAN THE DESKTOP PC IN THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY AND FOR THE SAME PRICE THE LAPTOP WOULD HAVE 33% OF THE PERFORMANCE THE PC CAN HAVE and I don't need that much power while I'm on the move. A PC is also more upgradeable than a laptop and modern laptops tend to break after a few years, unlike my trusty, 11-year-old Fujitsu S7210.
(sorry for all-caps, that question just drives me crazy. I'm going to tell the same answer but in a very calm tone if my parents ask me that)
Well, I guess I'll just sleep now. I wrote more than enough already. Oh hey, TL;DR:
Lol, I guess I should ask my classmate to give me some of that DDR2 RAM he saved from his old PC, and that Ati Radeon HD 3650 which he also had (pfft, now he's got a GTX 1060 3GB + AMD R5 1500X PC, so he doesn't care).
2018 started in an interesting way. We'll see how it goes.
I'm just afraid the HD 3650 won't work well with it. Eh, it's good to have it around, in any case. Alternatively, I'll probably get a low-end Nvidia GT 610 or 710 because that's all this thing needs. A nice, little GPU which doesn't need a great PSU. x3
In 2013, I told my parents how I decided that I needed to build a new PC. They advised me to have a laptop instead because I can take it anywhere I go. I agreed and we bought a 2012 Fujitsu A512, which is now my brother's laptop.
In 2014, my old PC died (the one with the Ati Radeon HD 4650). It was a bad day for me when I returned home. We got the Fujitsu S7210 after exchanging hardware with a local Internet café owner. I gave it to my brother as a punishment.
In 2015, when I was in 7th grade, my parents promised me a new PC if my GPA is 4.75 or higher. I studied and basically improved in grades a lot compared to 6th grade. My parents were amazed. No new PC, still. I had an R7 250 + AMD A4-6300 machine in mind with 4 GB of DDR3 RAM - something I considered "high end" because it was sooo superior to the laptop I already had (still on the A512 until July).
In the first half of 2016 (8th grade), my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA was just as good as the one last year. It was even better, actually. 4.85
But still, no new PC! Then I had an Nvidia GT 730 in mind, then the RX 460 as the year was ending.
In 9th grade, they promised me (and swore to God, which is a HUGE deal here) that they would buy the new parts if my GPA was 5 point FREAKING 0. I was surprised and a bit overwhelmed at first, but as soon as the second semester came in, things were easy as cake and I knew I'll have that sweet, perfect GPA of 5.0. And I did. My mum cried when she saw the grades report and nothing but 5's (A's) on it. "General success - excellent (average 5.0)"
I was even part of the "School's Pride" group of students.
Guess what. Nothing happened. However, I did collect about 70% of the budget for the PC, even after my parents "borrowed" half of my money that year.
In my 1st year of high school and first semester, my parents promised me the new PC if my GPA is at least 4.5 (which is the lower limit for the "excellent" status).
And I did. I even did a bit better, with a GPA of 4.57. I mean, it's high school, of course they were expecting me to drop in grades like this.
And then, I had about 90% of the budget and I decided to buy whatever percentage of the parts I can, but then... they borrowed yet another 200 KM from me.
4 promises. 4 big promises. 2 of which had relatively extreme conditions.
All broken.
And then my aunt came to a visit and mentioned me that I'll get a PC for free which she bought in 2012 for 2000 KM (1000€). I was super excited, thinking it would have a GTX 660 and an Intel Core i5 4th gen CPU.
But, instead it was an HP Compaq dc7600C Convertible Minitower equipped with a Pentium 4 640, Ati Radeon X1050/600/300 (one of those), 512MB RAM and a whopping 80GB Western Digital hard drive. It also has 2 DVD drives and a floppy drive.
Turns out someone posted the article on Pik (take it as a Bosnian eBay) back in the day and wrote the original price from the time the PC was manufactured (2005).
I seriously need to do something as I keep getting more excited and excited every time they mention the new PC, and then I get disappointed because it never happens. I'm convinced it's my own fault because I hardly ever speak to my parents about the PC, because I believe I'd annoy them that way. Oh boy, that needs to change.
Also, don't post "Get a job" because it's not going to help. I collect and save money over the years, and for all these 5 years of waiting and getting money for my new PC, my parents just "borrowed" (more like took) most of it.
At the moment, I have a bit more than 700 KM, which should be enough for the CPU and the GPU, though I'd rather wait and buy the GPU much later, since there was a jump in prices recently. I guess I could get the processor for 360 KM, the PSU for 60-80, the motherboard for 230 KM I believe, and let my parents "borrow" the rest of the money there's left.
Of course, I know that my parents will pay their little debt off someday. I can understand their situation right now. They have their own needs and problems. I'm not mad or anything, but I consider this a bit unfair.
Though, at they don't owe me nearly as much as they used to.
I mean, it's just 300 KM, I'm sure they will return it someday. I just don't like this concept of an "ATM machine son" which I'm currently being treated as. I'm wondering if I should just stop letting them borrow money from me because when they do, it's quite literally always at the worst possible moment.
sigh
My Nazi classmate was right. I should've taken most of the PC right when I collected 90% of the budget, and then collect some more and buy the remaining part or two... I had a chance, but I missed it just because my parents asked me "Isn't it too early to get one, though?"
And then my dad believes it's not worth spending money on new computer cases. He surely knows about computer hardware, but nothing past 2007, LOL. He believes there's also no need to get a PSU since it already comes with the case. Pfft. Be glad I'm not applying interest rates for your credit.
Oh well, I guess I should be more of a rebel next time I have the chance. My passiveness ruined a lot of chances I had before. Only now it started to hurt.
Worst of all, my parents just keep asking me "Why not a laptop instead of a desktop computer?" BECAUSE A LAPTOP WITH THE SAME SPECS WILL COST 2.5X MORE THAN THE DESKTOP PC IN THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY AND FOR THE SAME PRICE THE LAPTOP WOULD HAVE 33% OF THE PERFORMANCE THE PC CAN HAVE and I don't need that much power while I'm on the move. A PC is also more upgradeable than a laptop and modern laptops tend to break after a few years, unlike my trusty, 11-year-old Fujitsu S7210.
(sorry for all-caps, that question just drives me crazy. I'm going to tell the same answer but in a very calm tone if my parents ask me that)
Well, I guess I'll just sleep now. I wrote more than enough already. Oh hey, TL;DR:
- I've been waiting to build my 'dream' PC for 5 years already
- my parents have promised it 4 times (2 of which had relatively extreme conditions, like getting absolutely perfect grades), broke the promise every time
- I've collected enough money, but didn't buy the PC when I should've, as my parents asked me if it's too early to buy it
- over the next few months, my parents treated me as a living ATM machine
- my aunt gives me her HP Compaq dc7600 for free, but having told me it's from 2012 and that it costed 2000 KM back then
- I'm quite disappointed because I didn't buy the PC on time (and by my aunt's PC, but I can't blame her, as she wasted lots of money on a somewhat worthless rustbucket and didn't know) and now I'm looking forward to change from passive to active mode
Lol, I guess I should ask my classmate to give me some of that DDR2 RAM he saved from his old PC, and that Ati Radeon HD 3650 which he also had (pfft, now he's got a GTX 1060 3GB + AMD R5 1500X PC, so he doesn't care).
2018 started in an interesting way. We'll see how it goes.
I'm just afraid the HD 3650 won't work well with it. Eh, it's good to have it around, in any case. Alternatively, I'll probably get a low-end Nvidia GT 610 or 710 because that's all this thing needs. A nice, little GPU which doesn't need a great PSU. x3
I've survived:
\o/
\o/
10pm SATURDAY GMT
First game coming up!
Would people be interested in joining in if I streamed some [b]Jackbox Party Pack 2+3[/b] games out to you all? The key point of which would be that you (yes, you) could play it through the stream via any kind of browser (phone, PC, etc). No purchases or setup required!
I figure best setup would be to stream it out with no input from myself (unless necessary), while we all (including me) watch the stream and hang out in a Discord channel. (https://discord.gg/kWXqkme This Discord channel, to be precise.)
I dunno! Thoughts? They're fun games, and there's room for 8 players plus any number of people in the audience who can join in on votes, etc.
First game coming up!
Would people be interested in joining in if I streamed some [b]Jackbox Party Pack 2+3[/b] games out to you all? The key point of which would be that you (yes, you) could play it through the stream via any kind of browser (phone, PC, etc). No purchases or setup required!
I figure best setup would be to stream it out with no input from myself (unless necessary), while we all (including me) watch the stream and hang out in a Discord channel. (https://discord.gg/kWXqkme This Discord channel, to be precise.)
I dunno! Thoughts? They're fun games, and there's room for 8 players plus any number of people in the audience who can join in on votes, etc.
20.
Too tired to come up with something.
Too tired to come up with something.
tl;dr to this journal is that it (hopefully) serves more purpose to me than it does to anybody reading, but feel free to read if you wish.
So I wrote a long winded journal about addiction & nicotine prior to this one and said I would quit on that day.
Well, I didn't quit nicotine at that time unfortunately, but I did end up doing it a few months later (I made it two months). I ended up in a new job at the end of those two months and started smoking as a result of my coworkers smoking, and even after only a few days of it I was feeling awful so I very quickly swapped it over to vaping.
As glad as I am to know that I can avoid smoking even with the (by now) fully ingrained habits and dependency on nicotine, it's senseless to be consuming nicotine in the first place when I know that I function perfectly (Well, significantly better to be frank) without it. (Vaping being 'safer' is complete and utter meaningless drivel without long term studies anyways, but that's an entirely different can of worms)
So here I am about to embark on my second journey of cold-turkeying the nicotine and hopefully staying off it for good. I'm hoping that publicly stating it in some capacity will increase the likelihood of me holding myself accountable to it rather than trying to commit to it internally and forgoing it because nobody else knows about it, therefore no consequences to breaking it.
2017/12/25 Quit nicotine (2nd attempt)
So I wrote a long winded journal about addiction & nicotine prior to this one and said I would quit on that day.
Well, I didn't quit nicotine at that time unfortunately, but I did end up doing it a few months later (I made it two months). I ended up in a new job at the end of those two months and started smoking as a result of my coworkers smoking, and even after only a few days of it I was feeling awful so I very quickly swapped it over to vaping.
As glad as I am to know that I can avoid smoking even with the (by now) fully ingrained habits and dependency on nicotine, it's senseless to be consuming nicotine in the first place when I know that I function perfectly (Well, significantly better to be frank) without it. (Vaping being 'safer' is complete and utter meaningless drivel without long term studies anyways, but that's an entirely different can of worms)
So here I am about to embark on my second journey of cold-turkeying the nicotine and hopefully staying off it for good. I'm hoping that publicly stating it in some capacity will increase the likelihood of me holding myself accountable to it rather than trying to commit to it internally and forgoing it because nobody else knows about it, therefore no consequences to breaking it.
2017/12/25 Quit nicotine (2nd attempt)
Thanks everyone for writing Entity Guides, they helped make https://github.com/eukara/FreeCS happen. So props to the cool dudes at TWHL.
RIP Xylemon/TheCoolGman.
HI Suparsonik.
RIP Xylemon/TheCoolGman.
HI Suparsonik.
DOUBLE FINAL
I will be taking a journey through every map in the Map Vault, from oldest to newest. Who knows what we'll find? (Besides broken links.)
The streams will be run regularly at 12pm Saturday GMT and 10pm Tuesday GMT (with recordings going up here)! Will run for around 2 hours.
The streams will be run regularly at 12pm Saturday GMT and 10pm Tuesday GMT (with recordings going up here)! Will run for around 2 hours.
I got a new friend for my dog the other day.
So far he doesn't have a name but he has shown us that he likes to climb pretty much anything.
Journal ID 8888. Wow, we've come pretty far. 
Made something cool for Halloween. https://youtu.be/Ad9lWjvcRp8
Typical rant journal entry.
I'm getting through another productivity crysis, mainly because I'm working mostly alone, and I've got some university related motivation issues...
First, boring life-related stuff:
Maybe it's because the speciality I've chosen - English Philology, aiming for master title and title of certified translator for the court (former is the requirement). I'm probably the only person that is not there because that language is my passion, and not because I failed to qualify for other unis like about 25% percent of people here as well (I actually had about 350 recruitment points for another uni, where I could study forestry, only 115 were required, they sent a few letters after me two weeks ago...), but rather because of a specific set of plans I have.
I feel that this choice was a step backwards, taking into consideration that I graduated a technical school (getting highest score on finals there and most likely scoring very high in comparison with other schools in this region), always preferred practical and technical classes, and sciences, especially biology. Whereas here I have to learn all those boring little details, like several ways to pronounce one vowel, historical detail and such (and while I was learning those fast and forgetting them even faster, I never really enjoyed them).
Another thing that's gnawing one me - do I need college when I graduated the school with technician title and with several qualification courses done - all of those in fields that have (always had, and most likely will have for a long time) a demand for workforce, pay nicely and are in fact enjoyable? I find a prospect of specialistic flights for let's say, a power plant, to monitor state of wind turbines or high voltage lines, or seeking out people with thermovision cameras for emergency services, or commercial flights for TV stations and private endeavours (I can do both types of flights right off the bat) much more interesting than teaching or sitting for hours by a desk to translate a few pages of text, and that's just about only one of possibilities. I know that finding a job is not an easy task nowadays, but I'm one of those fuckers that have the balls to freelance, run their own business and take up a few odd jobs in between.
For short, I have a lot of different plans, career prospects and even more doubts, to the point that what I'm doing right now feels not pointless, but maybe unnecessary and a bit painful.
Now to the point:
I highly prefer to work alone on any projects I have, but it just doesn't work. Not because of troubles with creating assets, maps, code or script (I'm a jack of all trades...), but because no one is going to kick me in balls when I'm procrastinating for too long...
Some time ago, I had a short collaboration with Windawz, who was meant to take a role of lead level designer for my current project. And while it ended without anything actually done on the level side - I created base assets and scripted gameplay framework (that is now available as SE2DevBase) in a very short time. All I needed to do it was simply a mention that a few assets were needed in a message from him.
Teamwork seems to be a huge motivating factor for me when working on larger scale projects, so I decided that I'll form a team of modders willing to contribute to the project, in a forum thread that I'll post soon. Anyone that read that wall of text, have a cookie:
I'm getting through another productivity crysis, mainly because I'm working mostly alone, and I've got some university related motivation issues...
First, boring life-related stuff:
Maybe it's because the speciality I've chosen - English Philology, aiming for master title and title of certified translator for the court (former is the requirement). I'm probably the only person that is not there because that language is my passion, and not because I failed to qualify for other unis like about 25% percent of people here as well (I actually had about 350 recruitment points for another uni, where I could study forestry, only 115 were required, they sent a few letters after me two weeks ago...), but rather because of a specific set of plans I have.
I feel that this choice was a step backwards, taking into consideration that I graduated a technical school (getting highest score on finals there and most likely scoring very high in comparison with other schools in this region), always preferred practical and technical classes, and sciences, especially biology. Whereas here I have to learn all those boring little details, like several ways to pronounce one vowel, historical detail and such (and while I was learning those fast and forgetting them even faster, I never really enjoyed them).
Another thing that's gnawing one me - do I need college when I graduated the school with technician title and with several qualification courses done - all of those in fields that have (always had, and most likely will have for a long time) a demand for workforce, pay nicely and are in fact enjoyable? I find a prospect of specialistic flights for let's say, a power plant, to monitor state of wind turbines or high voltage lines, or seeking out people with thermovision cameras for emergency services, or commercial flights for TV stations and private endeavours (I can do both types of flights right off the bat) much more interesting than teaching or sitting for hours by a desk to translate a few pages of text, and that's just about only one of possibilities. I know that finding a job is not an easy task nowadays, but I'm one of those fuckers that have the balls to freelance, run their own business and take up a few odd jobs in between.
For short, I have a lot of different plans, career prospects and even more doubts, to the point that what I'm doing right now feels not pointless, but maybe unnecessary and a bit painful.
Now to the point:
I highly prefer to work alone on any projects I have, but it just doesn't work. Not because of troubles with creating assets, maps, code or script (I'm a jack of all trades...), but because no one is going to kick me in balls when I'm procrastinating for too long...
Some time ago, I had a short collaboration with Windawz, who was meant to take a role of lead level designer for my current project. And while it ended without anything actually done on the level side - I created base assets and scripted gameplay framework (that is now available as SE2DevBase) in a very short time. All I needed to do it was simply a mention that a few assets were needed in a message from him.
Teamwork seems to be a huge motivating factor for me when working on larger scale projects, so I decided that I'll form a team of modders willing to contribute to the project, in a forum thread that I'll post soon. Anyone that read that wall of text, have a cookie:
Half a DNA.